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Happy Hannukah! 🕎
Saw Krampus the other day in the spirit of the holiday season. Definitely feels like a film befitting 2020. I gotta say though, the gingerbread men were my favorite characters. Look at these lovely little fellas:
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Schlissel challah 🗝
Baking challah in the shape of a key (schlissel meaning key in Yiddish) is an Ashkenazi tradition the Shabbat after Pesach, and is said to represent the key to the promised land. I’m usually team poppyseed but sesame seeds are traditional for schlissel challah, because they are supposed to resemble the manna we ate in the desert.
I couldn’t find a technique I liked so I just made one up- I did a 5-strand braid for the stem, and a standard 3-strand for the teeth and the head.
Hope everybody had a wonderful chag!
Shanah tovah! please look at my rosh hashanah apple tart it took. so long
Shanah tovah and everyone look at this apple tart.
[ID: Two photos of a pie-sized tart sitting on newspaper. The thin apple slices within are arranged into dozens of rose blossom shapes standing upright which fill the tart. They glisten with varied shades of pink-red from apple slices with skin and yellow-white from inner slices. End ID]
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[I am very slowly starting the move over to my new blog! Same handle, same look! I'm doing the standard thing where I let people who want to refollow follow, and those who don't want to can go their separate ways with no hard feelings. I'll be trying to transfer threads over, and I'll move over more personalized asks that people wrote for me.
Shar/theexternalconceit will be up soon as well!
more of B. Dylan Hollis’ baking TikToks - sentence starters
1. “When I think of zucchini, I think of good barbeque, summer salads… men. Just not dessert.”
2. “I hate zuchinni. It doesn’t taste bad, it just makes me feel insufficient.”
3. “I’m guessing the flavor profile is going to be cholestrol.”
4. “Some dishes aren’t amazing, but they are innately comforting, and this is a prime example. Like a hug on a plate.”
5. “I don’t need instructions. I’m single.”
6. “At least its hot garbage.”
7. “It’s a demon quiche!”
8. “That isn’t a typo, this is is delibrate. Someone published this! And got paid for it!”
9. “Can I start making assumptions now?”
10. “Do you know what a salad is? Because whatever you think is - is wrong!”
11. “At least nothing hatched.”
12. “It’s not dinner time until you add a pack of gelatine to some water!”
13. “You know what stings more than a knife, _____? Rejection.”
14. “No veggies allowed!”
15. “It’s a cat food recipe!”
16. “I hate cottage cheese. It looks like its listening to me.”
17. “Now that’s just a good cookie. It is distinctly different, but good.”
18. “No spices for you!”
19. “There’s no Jell-O in here, just the dark arts.”
20. “The taste is good, it’s like Christmas, but it’s unpleasantly slimy.”
21. “Look who’s fallen from grace. Shame.”
22. “Yes, this definitely is one of these salads, which definitely isn’t a salad, because ______ is unsupervised and they can’t be stopped.”
23. “You don’t measure this in calories. No, you measure this in years taken off your life expectancy!”
24. “Is it good? No. Is it bad? No. It’s sugar!”
25. “Go ahead, feed this to a child. You’re going to yeet them into orbit.”
26. “It’s known that here in ______, they’ll deep-fry anything that isn’t bolted to the earth, including zucchinis, hot dogs, and several species of large bird.”
27. “Don’t bake these, they’ll be flatter than my butt.”
28. “Are you ready to die? Yeah, me too.”
29. “This is perfection. I don’t know what else you want me to say. Whoopsie, they’re gone!”
30. “This is enough to incapacitate one medium child.”
31. “You sure this wasn’t meant for a bird?”
32. “This takes a while to come out. Don’t worry, I did too.”
33. “This is culinary terrorism!”
34. “Tastes like a bookshelf! Books included!”
35. “Never been down here, have you? Welcome.”
36. “We’re pacifiers. No… we’re not pacifiers…. Pacifists!”
37. “In ______, this recipe is actually protected by law. Bake it wrong? To jail!”
38. “I love oats. They taste like grandparents.”
39. “I did have to convert this entire recipe from grams into freedom units.”
40. “Nothing quite says ‘autumn’ like an apple… except pumpkin, or seasonal depression.”
41. “Living large tonight, ______! We got oats!”
42. “I’m not making fun of the Great Depression… I am making fun of the Great Depression.”
43. “They look dead, but my house smells amazing!”
44. “Fall. Winter. Fireplaces. Beautiful! The very definition of ‘simple, yet brilliant’.”
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[I am very slowly starting the move over to my new blog! Same handle, same look! I'm doing the standard thing where I let people who want to refollow follow, and those who don't want to can go their separate ways with no hard feelings. I'll be trying to transfer threads over, and I'll move over more personalized asks that people wrote for me.
Shar/theexternalconceit will be up soon as well!
BLOG ARCHIVING PSA THING
[I am very slowly starting the move over to my new blog! Same handle, same look! I'm doing the standard thing where I let people who want to refollow follow, and those who don't want to can go their separate ways with no hard feelings. I'll be trying to transfer threads over, and I'll move over more personalized asks that people wrote for me.
Shar/theexternalconceit will be up soon as well!
✰ ⸻ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐌𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! ༄
some really cute , shippy autumn themed prompts for the cosy autumn feels ! feel free to edit as you see fit . add [ + ] to reverse the roles for the word prompts . have fun !
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
[ TACKLE ] for sender to tackle receiver into a freshly accumulated pile of leaves.
[ PUMPKIN SPICE ] for the sender and receiver to share a pumpkin spice latte.
[ COLD ] for sender to give receiver their gloves or scarf because it’s chilly.
[ FOREST ] for the sender and receiver to go on a walk in the forest.
[ LOST ] for sender to comfort receiver after both get lost together in a corn maze.
[ FACE PAINT ] for receiver to do senders halloween makeup.
[ FIRE PLACE ] for sender and receiver to get cosy by a wood burning fire place.
[ HAUNTED HOUSE ] for sender to guide the scared receiver through a haunted house.
[ CONKERS ] for sender and receiver to collect conkers together.
[ SHOP ] for receiver to help sender out with buying appropriate autumn attire.
[ CHESTNUTS ] for the sender and receiver to roast some chestnuts and eat together.
[ GHOST TOUR ] for the sender and receiver to go on a ghost tour together.
[ ORCHARD ] for the sender and receiver to visit an orchard together.
[ DECORATE ] for receiver to walk in and see sender has decorated their house for halloween.
[ JACK O’ LANTERN ] for the sender and receiver to carve pumpkins together.
[ HORSE RIDING ] for the sender and receiver to ride together through the woods.
[ COCKTAILS ] for the sender and receiver to make & drink DIY autumn / halloween cocktails.
[ MONSTER MASH ] for the sender and receiver to dance together to fun halloween music.
[ SCARED ] for sender to bury their face in receivers shoulder at a scary scene in a horror movie.
[ COSTUME ] for receiver to reveal their halloween costume to sender. ( write what their costume is if reversed ! )
[ FANGS ] for sender to playfully bite receiver with plastic fangs.
[ STICKY ] for sender to wipe sticky candy from receivers face after they’ve eaten a candy apple.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎.
“ oh my … how scary … ”
“ your hands freezing , here hold onto mine. ”
“ ouch - ouch , help ! i can’t get my costume off ! ”
“ shall i bite you and turn you immortal so we can live together forever ? ”
“ you have whipped cream on your top lip. here , let me just … ”
“ you look really cute in warm clothes. ”
“ this pumpkin kinda looks like you. ”
“ did you just bite me in the neck ? ”
“ the ghost isn’t real , he’s an actor. i’ll still punch him if you want - ”
“ no , it looks fine ! we can carve another one ! ”
“ rainy mornings make it impossible to get up … ”
“ let me practice my halloween make - up on you ? ”
“ you’ve been painting my face for hours, can i see ? ”
“ it gets dark so early nowadays. wanna go for a walk ? ”
“ it’s so romantic when it’s dark like this in the evening , don’t you think ? ”
“ if we get any more pumpkins they’ll need to close the pumpkin patch. ”
“ mmm … i’m trying to watch the movie ! ”
“ we totally match ! ”
“ oh , a leaf just fell in your hair. ”
“ i want you all to myself this halloween. ”
“ i told you to wear more layers. here , wear my jacket - ”
“ heh … your nose is red. ”
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[I am very slowly starting the move over to my new blog! Same handle, same look! I'm doing the standard thing where I let people who want to refollow follow, and those who don't want to can go their separate ways with no hard feelings. I'll be trying to transfer threads over, and I'll move over more personalized asks that people wrote for me.
Shar/theexternalconceit will be up soon as well!
Jumblr this-or-that asks (there are no right answers, these are fun Jewish debate topics, and even ones pertaining to Halakha are ones that are a Makhloket, a disagreement)
🥔 Applesauce or sour cream?
🏠 Beit Hillel or Beit Shammai? (Not in terms of Halakha, just vibes)
🍚 Is the Bracha on rice Mezonot or HaAdama?
🕍 Yom Kippur or Tisha B'Av? Which fast is easier?
🎭 Purim or Chanukah?
🥩 Dairy or Meat?
🍽️ Shabbat dinner or Shabbat lunch?
🌅 Sunrise or Sunset?
💪 Tefillin Shel Yad or Tefillin Shel Rosh?
🤦 Shema or Modeh Ani
🍕 Is pizza HaMotzi or Mezonot?
🔥 Lag BaOmer or Tu B'Av?
🐑 Pesach or Sukkot?
👼 Golem or Malach (Angel)?
🎶 'Lecha Dodi' or 'Shalom Aleichem'?
🥯 Bagel or Pita?
👸 Megillat Esther or Megillat Ruth?
✋Hamsa or Magen David necklace?
BLOG ARCHIVING PSA THING
[I am very slowly starting the move over to my new blog! Same handle, same look! I'm doing the standard thing where I let people who want to refollow follow, and those who don't want to can go their separate ways with no hard feelings. I'll be trying to transfer threads over, and I'll move over more personalized asks that people wrote for me.
Shar/theexternalconceit will be up soon as well!