Maria Martinez

themightymaria:

The peeps I hang out with when I’m not with Jenna or Tucker. Hometown hotties, they’re both single (and legal!), if you know what I mean ;)

WHYYYY are you introducing me to this hunky dory man when i just got taken?!

#don't worry #as much as he's a catch #he's also the one who drunk dialled us and told us he was ricardo the sex god

I like to think of it as strategic timing. You wanted Dom, Dom wanted you. Ted here is such a catch that he’d be too good a distraction for you. Now that stuff is settled, I’m not sabotaging your chances by showing off my mancandy friend.

The peeps I hang out with when I’m not with Jenna or Tucker. Hometown hotties, they’re both single (and legal!), if you know what I mean ;)

#starter #gotta rep for my babies #if ya'll wanna marry people off to them #i am all for it #because they are HOPELESS

dutchess-jenna:

ily more babes. and it will definitely be an adventure, moreso with holly. trust me.

Not possible. I’m sure that Holly will bring some new pizzaz to our adventures.

#it's your family #you deal with it however you can #you've got my support now that you guys have sorted out your weird mating dance issues #full support #from the background and a distance #i can do hands off #promise

dutchess-jenna:

tis why you are my best friend, you should defintiely chill with us when you get the chance. don’t worry, i’ll convince her, it’ll be fun.

Ilu babe. Oh, you know that I am all sorts of in for this adventure. We can hit the places we hit the first time I took you.

#oh shoot #i'll keep my mouth shut #promise #i'll key down the pushy maria

dutchess-jenna:

seriously, if it wasn’t for you maria, i don’t know how i would’ve survived camp without her. we need to take her thrift shopping asap!

That’s what friends are for. We make sure that we don’t die of loneliness, and make sure that there is always a crowd in the drunk tree. Just let me know when Holly’s up for it, and I will show her the wonders of thrifting.

#wow #this is actually pretty great #i know #it doesn't sound so great until you actually do it #and then you're just like

OMG LOOK WHAT DARLING SISTER CAME TO VISIT ME TODAY.

#c: jenna #npc: holly #you guys are seriously the cutest siblings ever #aw so sweet

OH MY GOD, I’M SO HAPPY SHE’S HERE. HAVE FUNSIES!

#he is no longer on the hit list #he may rest easy

dutchess-jenna:

how dare you not get my grease references. right now we stand at me dating a hot guy with abs for days who actually cares about me. what more can a girl ask for.

No, I got it, I just didn’t want to make things weird. AND I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. CONGRATS.

themightymaria:

Ok, forget the clothes thing, tell me more about the boys.

oh come on maria, do you really want to know all the horny details?

I need to know where things stand. Definitely do not to know about your sex life.

#seriously no

frank-thetank

themightymaria:

Until you get fat and bald with the rest of the bro squad.

fine, looks fade. i’ll give you that. but bro squad is forever.

Gotta make that squad first.

#but why...

#9/10 it happens #i'm sorry #beauty fades #brains endure

frank-thetank:.

and being a stud is sexy, maria.

Until you get fat and bald with the rest of the bro squad.

#and you are both #so you've got all your bases covered

just-tucker:

Exactly, we’re just trying to help his relationship.

Exactly. Smart is the new sexy.

#we will make her life #and it will be fanfuckingtastic #and no you definitely did not #you guys are good?#oh my god #DETAILS JENNA #YOUR GIRL NEEDS DETAILS

dutchess-jenna:

i will never doubt you when it comes to clothes and boys again.

Ok, forget the clothes thing, tell me more about the boys.

#get your superlatives straight and master the semicolon

just-tucker:

Having -est after you said ‘most’ is just redundant.

Grammar is sexy, Frank.

found this new jean jacket at the flee market, thanks to @themightymaria and her keen fashion sense. i think i’m in love <3

#damn #you work it girl #next time holly is in town #we will introduce her to this wonderful thing called second hand shopping

Like I say, you should never have doubted me. I know where to find the good stuff.

maria: [text]: just lemme know if you need a getaway driver [text]: i have your back

[TEXT]: you are the best mama but i think i’m good[TEXT]: cause at least i don’t run away from my problems

themightymaria:

[text]: no one can help who they like, jenna

[text]: 9/10 people don’t deserve it

[text]: i am literally printing off a picture rn

[text]: plus these are bakery cookies

[text]: we can salvage some of this shit show

[TEXT]: yeah but why the hell did it have to be with dom? [TEXT]: we were doing great as friends [TEXT]: and then he had to go and fuck it up [TEXT]: i love all of those things and this is why i love you [TEXT]: i wish holly was here sometimes

[text]: hell if i know? his abs are distracting?

[text]: i know, baby, i’m sorry it went that way

[text]: i love you too

[text]: see if holly can come up for the weekend

[text]: or we can face time her

[text]: whatever the fuck you want (:

maria: [text]: just lemme know if you need a getaway driver [text]: i have your back

[TEXT]: you are the best mama but i think i’m good[TEXT]: cause at least i don’t run away from my problems