My Non-Existant Soul Has Been Exposed By This App

Don’t judge me. You don’t know me. If you do know me - hi? This place is for memes - weird stuff and slightly odd stories 🥔

[themilliemaster-blog]

When someone tells me I’m cute

[themilliemaster-blog]

Toilet Seats

Has no-one ever wondered how school toilet seats get broken? Was someone’s no2 to powerful for the pathetic seats?

[themilliemaster-blog]

Pomme de Tère

There is a girl in my French class who commonly refers to herself as a potato and when she answers the register she only responds with ‘Je suis POMME DE TÈRE’

[deadboytryingtosurvive]

Fjlhasjkg, I’m in a mostly empty class and some boys are complaining that it’s snowing. One of them yelled to the teacher “Mr. Houselog, tell it to stop!” and my fucking teacher just deadpanned said “Stop.”

So I’m laughing hysterically but hiding it the best I can, and then the boys are like “omg, it worked… the snow stopped!” and made some comment about him being a God?

[themilliemaster-blog]

God is a woman MrHouselog!

[dassy1407]

I just remembered that when I was in elementary school a local factory had a mishap where, essentially, a cloud a few miles wide in diameter rained glue over our town. It coated houses, cars, and some people with globs of glue. My brother’s friends were dumbasses and 12 so they went outside and played in it and ended up getting it in their eyes and had to go to the hospital.

I remember picking off the globs on our front porch steps for years, and my aunt’s car had to get a new hood because of the damage.

Imagine: cloudy with a chance of GLUE.

Can’t make this stuff up.

[themilliemaster-blog]

[zevveli]

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

[themilliemaster-blog]

What? 😂

[30-minute-memes]

Technically right

[themilliemaster-blog]

Technically..... 😂

[webcomicname]

[themilliemaster-blog]

Oh nooooo

[thejokerhisjokes]

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship

One turns to other and says, “Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn’t it?”

Other recruit replies, “Everyone must be watching the band.”

“There is no band on this ship.”

“No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship.”

[themilliemaster-blog]

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[badjokesbyjeff]

Sir, you’ve got a very rare disease

Me: “How rare?”

Doctor: “You pick the name”

[themilliemaster-blog]

Oof

[themilliemaster-blog]

Two Peas in a Pod

My little sister and my stepbrother are literally the same person - although one is blond and male and my sister is female and a brunette. They can’t see the resemblance. My dad and I are laughing behind their backs because they don’t realise it AT ALL. We are testing to see how far they will go. They have banned the other from their rooms. SO FAR SO GOOD 😂

[funnypicturesforyou]

Funny Pictures Today -

[themilliemaster-blog]

The perks of having no friends...

[themilliemaster-blog]

This is definitely the best advice I’ve ever been given 😂