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[frickomode]

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[pinniposting]

what’s at the end of a rainbow? GREY SEALS!

image credit: Danny Lawson/PA Wire

[flanbolt]

[bronzedeerstatues]

Me when. hwen twin’s cat

[chaoticstargazers]

lalala

[crazy-brazilian]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[themostgenericname123]

had to get an all-seeing egg instead of an all-seeing orb

too many maintanence fees otherwise

[viridiancolors]

[mlembug]

[themostgenericname123]

kasane fried teto

[07121998]

[bronzedeerstatues]

Ok so 18 pounds of cokane, 12 pounds of crake and 7 male strippers. but make sure none of them are white, I cant see the coke on them if they are

[themostgenericname123]

*KZZHHHHTTT*

want fries with that?

[threedollarsdotcom]

found a girl at the lights section of home depot eating the lamps

[brucebocchi]

[54prowl]

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