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me, banging pots and pans: i miss gob bluth
A wedding photographer took this picture from a rooftop to get a bird’s eye view of a wedding in progress. Something seemed odd about the balcony in the top right portion of the photograph.
This is what the photographer found when they zoomed in.
Zoomed out picture for extra creeps
what the actual fuck
The one on the right staring directly at the camera just adds a whole other level of ‘fucking no’ to this
Life goals
On Fae and Names
Quick PSA to any witches working with Fae: Do not give them your name under any typical circumstances. Give a nickname, or no name at all. BUT! If you give a nickname, don’t say: “My name is -insert nickname-.” Because that is a lie, and a fae will twist that around their little finger and use it to manipulate the shit outta you anyways.
INSTEAD, say: “You may call me -insert nickname-.” This lets them know that this name probably doesn’t have power over you and that you are both cautious and intelligent.
Stay safe kids.
Advice from an hereditary witch’s grandmother: things a crone has to say
My witch of a grandmother gave me her beautiful encyclopedia on healing plants to celebrate Ostara! I told her about my blog and she asked me to share some of her advice “for those lovely internet disciples of yours”. No, Yeyé, that’s not how this works…
But hey! When the crone talks, you listen!
“A jar of glass keeps away envious spirits and people who want to hurt you.”
“Everything dead deserves to be honored.”
“Strings of seeds bring prosperity.”
“A stone in the windowsill is a soldier that keeps away thieves, but make sure it’s not a pretty rock cause they might steal it!”
“When you trim a vine, keep some branches by the door so all the hard work you’ve done doesn’t disappear in a single day!”
“When you’re old and can’t move so much anymore, keep a jar of seeds by the Gods so they can pick their offerings as they please.”
“I keep lavender by the computer because it helps me remember how to open Facebook. Lavender is good for memory. Tell your friends of the internet.”
“I keep the obsidian and the agathe geodes in front of the TV so there will be no bad news.”
So there you have it.
Advice from an authentic crone with over 70 years of Craft , Old Yeyé.
She wishes you all many blessings and love and hopes you are all well guided.
Happy new season from lucky Old Yeyé!
-Semiramis the Magpie Witchling
autumnal asks
lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?
frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?
maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?
harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?
fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?
cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?
amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.
fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?
jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?
spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?
orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.
crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?
bonfire - describe your dream house.
cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?
cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?
cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?
maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.
quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?
pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?
moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?
flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?
cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?
ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?
~Giveaway Item~
The first person to answer the following crystal trivia question correctly wins this beautiful tourmalinated quartz point. Please make sure to read the rules:
Either reply to or reblog this post with your answer to the question. Please do not answer more than once. The first person who shows up in the notes with a correct answer wins. I will then message them to get their shipping info.
Question:
Name another color of tourmaline (aside from black)
Good luck and have fun! :)
Yellow
8/3 Today we picked the white apples. They have skins the color of old yellowed bones, and translucent flesh so that when you slice them open you can see the seeds through the flesh. Bone-and-glass apples, parchment apples, ghost apples.
They bruise easily, a purplish brown rather too similar to a bruise on human skin. If you pick one up, there’s a good chance the shapes of your fingertips will be marked on it the next day. I want to try writing words on them by pressing on them with a pencil eraser sometime.
They smell very faintly of perfume, maybe roses. They do not smell like apples. Apple maggots never infest them (probably because their growing time is too short to support the apple maggot fly life cycle. It’ll be another month or two before the rest of our apples are ripe).
They’re lovely. They are also disgusting. Mealy and soft, with no flavor whatsoever. They’re not sweet. They’re not even sour. It’s like a mouth full of wet cotton ball. I’m pretty sure I spit it out the first time I tried one.
I hope you all understand how weird this is: even the goats are reluctant to eat them. They’ll eat an apple or two, but then they lose interest (except in keeping the sheep from eating any, of course).
I have no idea why a previous resident planted the ghost-apple tree. If they have any flavor at all, only the restless dead can taste it.
I have to say, I’ve seen, researched, and planted a lot of apples in my time, but I have never seen anything like this.
My best guess is that your tree is a chance seedling with a genetic mutation, given that it is both leucistic/albinoid and early-ripening. I’d hazard a guess it’s also polyploid.
lazyevaluationranch: If you’re able to save some scion wood next Autumn, I’d be very interested in grafting a branch or two of this to one of my trees: not for the utility of it, so much as for the novelty and breeding possibilities.
A little added info: It could be a variety of Potter County White Transparent. From the heritage apple site:
White Transparent, Ghost or Spirit Apple, or Apples of Saint Peter. The Russian Petrovka group are all thin-skinned pale apples that ripen near the feast of Saint Peter, and are offered to Widows and orphans (first fruits) or to the graves of the recent dead of the winter, representing God’s Mercy after trial. Apple associated with Baba Yaga, and with foretelling the past or the future. This Transparent is from Coudersport, Pennsylvania, likely brought as seed with Russian immigrants.
Holy shit…
I just want a few of them because of their association with Baba Yaga.
✧ *.🎃Samhain Solitary Rituals🎃*✧
As the air grows cooler and the winds begin to howl and rip the dead leaves from trees, we know the veil is thin and Samhain is near! After the equinox, which was equal parts night and day, Samhain marks the time of the wheel that we descend into the darker half of the year. It’s this time of the year that communication and connection to the spirit world is a lot easier and we’ve grown accustomed to making wards to protect the home from malevolent energy in the form of jack o lanterns and lights. On a positive note it is a time to leave out treats and foods for passed away loved ones and to remember them. It’s the final harvest full of well spiced comfort autumn foods as well as a ‘New Year’ since it’s a sabbat that honors the natural cycle of death and sees it as a form of transformation.
A lot of us witches practice alone and have our own solitary rituals for each sabbat that we observe (or the ones we’ve created just for ourselves that we observe alone!) Like any solitary eclectic witch I do things my own different way but some of these things might line up with others practices. I do refer to some of the equinoxes/solstices/crossquarters by their celtic sabbat names but I celebrate them in a secular animist way and treat the wheel of the year I celebrate as more of an argrarian cycle and celebrating nature. I use sabbat names as a point of reference and also people that do celebrate these witches sabbats more traditionally might find value in my personal practice! Here is my personal correspondences post and my personal samhain tag!
When I am alone and casting spells a lot of it is visualization/intent so my solitary rituals are more like activities I like to do then specifically casting a spell. If I am doing a spell with an activity based on it a lot would be listening to music to get in the mood and focusing on a candle while visualizing for a period of time! Eves are also important to my celebration as I like to stay up until midnight and cast a spell then!
Hallow’s Eve
Tuesday October 31st 2017
Dressing up in your most witchiest Ok every year I’m a witch, whether it’s just a lazy witch in my black clothing or an over the top kitschy witch with colorful hair and electric colored make up, but I just like to have these looks casually on Halloween day cause its amazing and a chance for me to be myself!
Pumpkin Carving! If you haven’t already tonight is definitely the night for pumpkin carving! Write sigils inside your pumpkin for protective magic. I love this DIY for a pumpkin indoor lantern cause it shows how to rub spices like cinnamon and nutmeg inside to achieve that sent of pumpkin pie in the home. Use electric candles instead of flame if you want it to last the night since the flame’s heat will cook the pumpkin.
Mini Pumpkin Tea lights Also an easier alternative to carving if you don’t have much time. Even gutting the mini pumpkins takes a lot of time for me but doing so and filling them with a black tea light will make an excellent centerpiece either for your altar or feast table!
Making Candy Apples I associate candy coated sweet red apples with halloween (and caramel/maple sugar on granny smith for mabon) and I love how you can make the candy various colors like a poisonous black or vibrant blood red!
Setting sweets aside for spirits So everyone has spirits that chill with them and it would be great to show appreciation for the positive spirits that surround you. Set some sweets on a dish and make a tiny altar for them in your space.
Enjoying sweets while doing crafts! Enjoy some of that halloween candy for yourself! My favorite treats on this night are chocolate coated donuts, reeses cups, cider sugar donuts, red licorice and apple cider.
Watching a spooky or Halloween themed movie Or halloween themed film. My favorite will always be the 80s halloween special The Worst Witch with Tim curry. I watch it religiously.
Spirit Contact I wouldn’t suggest using an Ouija board or doing any communication with spirits if you have never had experience. They can be rude and harass you, YET if you are experienced and know how to guard yourself, then this is a great night to play with an ouija board! (PS I think Ouija Girl has a great informative blog about working with ouija boards. Here is her FAQ page. But still, it’s always better to do work with a medium or someone with experience than trying to figure it out alone). A safer experience for someone with no spirit communication experience is attending a seance! In NYC there are a few mediums that hold seances monthly. I love the one at Catland in Brooklyn, the mediums that host the event there are fantastic. It might be hard to attend an authentic one on Halloween night since a lot of people will want to just try to cash in on creating a ‘spooky’ experience, but if you really want, try to get in contact with mediums and ask if they host any seance events. Important to know: usually the spirits that chill around you are guides and family and they might have more info to give you then you might be ready for. My first seance I really don’t know what to do with the info given to me but I really hope I make the best of it and don’t mess anything up.
Witches Flight This is like an extension of the previous point where if you have never done this before just completely disregard this suggestion cause flying is dangerous. For many years witches have flown on Halloween night to other realms using flying ointments.
Protective Magic: Finally, protect yourself from the high spirit activity with crystals like black tourmaline, obsidian and spirit quartz. Do protective spells for any cats you see or live with especially black cats since they tend to be targets.
Midnight Spell:
This sabbat honors the natural cycle of death and transformation. Focus on what you want to transform in your life. Magic on this night is very powerful so think about it before hand and make sure it is what you want for if you ask to transform something, you might find a lot of endings that suddenly occur in your life to lead to the transformations that you want. (There was a conversation on here I can no longer find but it was put really nicely that death is not just some simple ‘transformative’ process it can be very drastic, often very uncomfortable and if you are not ready though you ask for something to change, you might not be ready for the new obstacles that will be thrown at you. Just know that you will be ready for what you ask for.)
Some spell activities can be shuffling the deck visualizing what you want to change and then finding the death card and seeing the card that follows will be your answer to seek how you can further bring that transformation closer.
I’m a mixologist and enjoy working with liquor for rituals. I find fire to be a great transformer yet instead of burning something I prefer blessing a shot of whiskey or absinthe with my intent then taking it like liquid fire to transform me within. If you do not like alcohol or can not drink it for whatever reason you can perform this with hot apple cider instead!
Samhain Day
Wednesday, November 1st 2017
Upon the day I like to dress in complete black. My makeup is very dark and I wear long black dresses and veils. Depending on how you want to honor the dead, dress how you wish.
Gravesweeping Visit your loved ones on this day and leave flowers and gifts on their grave! If you want you can also visit any cemetery, yet make sure to practice good graveyard etiquette. Leave a penny by the gate, do not sit or lean on any tomb stones, of course don’t take anything from a grave. Be respectful of those whom are resting.
Close Your Garden This is a time to close the garden for the winter to come. Harvest the last fruits and herbs and bring in any delicate potted plants within the home.
Shadow Work Especially if you are looking to transform some aspect of your life this is a great time to do shadow work and look within if you are creating any obstacles for yourself. Get to know your shadow self, get to solve problems together. This is also an excellent day for divination and scrying.
Meditation and Energy Work by the base of a tree I love to do energy work on the days of the sabbats yet as the earth grows colder, the roots dig deeper and the world goes into hibernation. Sit at the base of a tree preferably with thick roots and feel it’s connection to the cold earth beneath you. Dig into yourself and see what needs to rest and what needs to be healed.
Evening Celebratory Feast
So in many practices people like to host a dumb supper but instead I like to have a lively feast where everyone will share a story about someone they loved that passed away or a story of an ancestor in their family. At the end of each tale we toast our glasses to them! (And pour a little bit of drink to them or set aside a snack if they are not into alcohol.)
Hold a feast of rich comfort foods that are spiced and sweet like sweet potato mash, candied brown beans, pumpkin bread, smokey bourbon pulled pork or maple glazed beef brisket, roasted carrots and beets and (I personally love to make baked mac and cheese but its a fall comfort soul food for me). My Samhain feast is abundant with fall soul foods and sweet roots and spices. (here is a fantasy feast post and my personal feast post from last year)
If you are alone (as this is a solitary post), make a few fall dishes you deeply enjoy or cook the favorites of loved relatives that have passed away, eat some sweets and set out some offerings to passed away loved ones.
me to my cat: hows my sweet girl doing today…i love you
my cat: shrieks with the voice of a thousand year old river monster
me: oh thats good! i love you 💞💝💓💖💖💕💓💖💖💓💝💖💘💕💘💘💘💓💖💝💕💕💕💓💘💓💓💕💘
Poster designs from color theory class, had limited palette and had to be inspired by band or music group. Made Blue and Red tinted versions.
it calls to you from the vacant lot
Toilet paper pill box.
Another small fun project for recycling! These are perfect for little gifts and a cute way to send your jewelry to customers… it not only give a nice shell of protection to the treasures you put inside, its cost free, customizable and keeps recycling on the mind <3
All you need are - toilet paper rolls - decor ( i used stamps) - Tape or glue
Step one: decorate your roll. I used some of my stamps, but don’t limit yourself to just that… you can use old paper, photographs, tissue paper, paint,sharpie and whatever else you have laying around to decorate. Mod podge and some pattered paper would be fun!
Step two: Once your roll is decorated to your liking, fold down the corners on one end, making it look like little cat ears. Make sure they fold over each other so there is no open gap, and tape down ( you can also glue the end down) * side note… if you dont like the look of regular tape, they sell something called washi tape? that comes in all sorts of amazing patterns!
-Step three: When you have some side sealed and taped down, wrap and place your item/treasures inside the box ( i wrapped up some earrings) and seal the other end, again making sure they fold over one another so there are no gaps.
- Step four… your done!
Again these are wonderful for gift giving and product packaging. Small, sturdy, cheap, recycled pill boxes…. you can use old paper towel rolls too! those are larger and can fit a bit more than TP rolls.
inktober drawings - aces of the tarot
(also a new grimoire page)
Witch aesthetics
*burnt fingers from candles, matches, and other rituals *hoarding small jars for your herbs *messy hair falling in your face during a particularly demanding ritual *offering tea to every guest that enters your home *going into a house and immediately feeling the energy flowing about it *the essence of that one occult shop in town *spending all your money on candles, stones, and herbs *not being able to decide on what tarot deck you want/want to use *your hands smelling faintly of your last ritual *the smell of ink as you write out your next spell *the silence of the night as you perform spells under the moon
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
- -Sanjay Kulkarni