oh my dear, dear fellow digital circus fans......
hello vonnie

titsay

if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle
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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Jules of Nature
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

JBB: An Artblog!
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36

⁂
trying on a metaphor

seen from Russia
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@theonecalledroku
oh my dear, dear fellow digital circus fans......
is there a reading order to your work? i really love your comics but i find it difficult to find the beginning
here they are in order!:
💬 3 🔁 10 ❤️ 29 · sleepyhouse2 · PIZZA DAY is a 36 page comic about trauma, mental illness, heartbreak and platonic love. in a hospital in
💬 1 🔁 6 ❤️ 28 · nice to meet you winter 1969
💬 2 🔁 12 ❤️ 44 · long time no see winter 1969
💬 0 🔁 9 ❤️ 32 · an outing fall 1972
💬 1 🔁 4 ❤️ 15 · Post by @sleepyhouse2art · 30 images · hard core drugs part 1 part 2 here: 💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · hard core drugs part 2 - end
my new comic, dog story, takes place in 1968, so 7 years after pizza day, which takes place largely in 1961.
im so glad you like my comics! hope this helps :)
au where they’re in grippy socks jail /j
2024 doodles again
Some weird stuff..and some stuff I wanna redraw maybe…
this was a doodle that got out of hand
(i had so much fun with the details pls look at the high res version afdfdfh)
2024 doodles again
Some weird stuff..and some stuff I wanna redraw maybe…
alrighty, after my previous analysis-es, I want to take a look at Vi and Caitlyn's interactions, specifically their dialog, throughout the show. precisely because it actually is very different than their touch language, in particular on Caitlyn's end.
I think no one would be surprised to learn that Vi is a very openly emotional person. Not only does she allow herself to be consumed by her feelings unabashedly
but she's also in touch enough with herself to effectively verbally communicate how she feels.
That last part throws a lot of people off- because Vi does have some walls she put up for proterction, in particular in front of strangers. I think her aggressive attitude and tendency to run away make people mistakenly assume she's a closed off person, but she most definitely isn't. People who are close to Vi get to see her be vulnerable- Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Vander, and ever Loris. When Vi feels an emotion, she doesn't try to bury or hide it- she let's it come to the surface.
Cut to her Very emotionally repressed girlfriend, who not only buries her emotions on the regular, but also is completely clueless on how to voice them. when Caitlyn wants to express how she feels, she usually talks about the matter-of-fact, the dry details, to imply what she actually wants to say. that's why analyzing Caitlyn feels like decoding a cryptid message.
I think a lot of people miss this detail, because both Caitlyn and Vi are direct and honest people. the difference is, Vi is direct and honest through and through- whether the subject matter is casual or extremely sensetive to her. Caitlyn's directness comes in her matter of fact-ness. when it comes to subjects that are about her own emotions, she doesn't lie- but she often talks indirectly, or chooses to not speak at all.
and that's why Caitvi work so well- because Vi absolutely gets what Caitlyn is trying to say. she is a master at decoding Caitlyn's indirect backhanded language. and that's a big reason why Caitlyn feels so seen by Vi.
Just like ther touch language, the way each girl expresses herself verbally has direct ties to how they were raised.
Let's start by examining Caitlyn and her dad. Supposedly, according to the fandom, Cait's dad is the parent who gets her the most. well, maybe when the competition is Cassandra Kiramman, this isn't such a high praise. I'd argue neither one of Caitlyn's parents truly get her. In general, the Kirammans seem to not quite be able to communicate in a vulnerable way, despite clearly loving each other.
in this scene, Caitlyn is trying to express a very clear message to her dad.
translation: I feel guilty for Mother's death.
you'll notice she states a fact ("I had the shot") instead of openly expressing how she feels.
in return, her dad either 1. doesn't get that subtext from what she's saying, or 2. agrees with the subtext and decides not to challenge it. because I don't think Tobias is a bad parent, i'll go with the first option. But it still leaves Caitlyn feeling misunderstood, and her emotional needs unmet. it's not entirely Tobias' fault- he's grieving too, and his daughter isn't exactly spelling it out for him. But if anything, this scene shows you exactly how the Kirammans operate an emotionally raw situation- that is to say. they don't.
(Caitlyn also has no idea how to comfort her father)
compare this to the environment Vi grew up in.
Vi was always an open person- we see it in the way she openly grieves her parents in the very first scene in the show.
She was later raised by Vander, who himself was an honest man. Here's young Vi talking to her dad:
during their conversations, both Vi and Vander are communicating openly. Vi feels like she can be vulnerable around Vander, and he in turn takes her seriously, doesn't try to hide things from her just because they might hurt. that is the complete opposite to how Caitlyn was raised- she was protected, but also coddled. Vi expreienced the harsh reality growing up, but she had a mentor who was honest with her and gave her a place she could emotionally express herself. Caitlyn grew up being kept away from any pain or danger- away from the "real world"- but in return her mentors were much less emotionally available, and prioritized composure over vulnerabilty.
here's what happens when these 2 very different upbrinings clash.
Caitlyn is delivering one of her most vulnerable dialogs on screen, yet she keeps it to the facts; on the surface, she is talking about the literal vacuum her mother left, that she's now expected to fill- the legacy and responsibilty she enherited. however, the subtext here is Caitlyn trying to express the sadness, the loss and the grief she feels. Vi, who is used to open communication, sees through the first layer and addresses the subtext head on.
and so, Caitlyn feels seen, understood, despite never actually saying anything directly. Vi meets her at her own level, and Vi knows how to effectively comfort her.
most of Vi and Cait's scenes together are ruled by this dynamic seen above. Vi is the open one, leading most of their dialog. she will bring up things that hurt. she will say the quiet part out loud. she will confront the problem head on. on the other hand, Caitlyn is usually on the back foot of the dialog, replying rather than initiating. her words are short and indirect. more often than not, she stays silent.
let's look at some more examples.
im this scene, Vi, as usual, wears her heart on her sleeve. she expresses her biggest fear to Caitlyn- "everyone in my life has changed", and clearly communicates what she needs- "promise me you won't change". right before this scene, she apologizes to Caitlyn for her loss, relating to her pain- "I'm so sorry about your mother, I'm sorry I can't bring her back".
Caitlyn, uhh, well...
she starts the scene in her dry, militant way, and as Vi gets more emotional, she gets quieter and quieter. this gif is the last time she speaks in this scene, before her infamously cryptic "I won't". her words are unclear or sticking to facts, making her almost come across as cold. and the thing is, Caitlyn knows this. She knows her words don't offer comfort- and that's why, in this moment, she uses her touch to comfort Vi. because Caitlyn struggles when it comes to verbally expressing emotions, but her touch is always soft and warm.
here's another example.
Vi comes in this scene and just bombards Caitlyn with accusations. notice how she addresses all of her issues directly: Caitlyn being "ungrateful" to Jinx, her distrust in Caitlyn, her disappointment in Caitlyn's professional affair with Ambessa.
as for Caitlyn- she's on the back foot, as she often is when it's a dialog heavy Caitvi scene. notice how she doesn't state what she thinks directly, instead she's being the queen of passive aggressive sass.
what she says are the facts. You didn't let me in on the plan, you had Jinx there because of a contigency. the translation: "i'm hurt that you didn't trust me." but Caitlyn can't just admit that openly like Vi does.
The only time Caitlyn drops her defenses in this scene is when she admits her awareness of her wrongdoings.
"I know!"
this is the only direct admition we get, and it came cause Vi pushed her all the way against the wall and provoked her, which is something Vi is notoriously good at.
the second time she admits it is here, and she's back to her nondirect, vague language.
she's referncing a mysterious "collective", to avoid talking about herself directly... where else have I seen this?
translation: I can't erase my mistakes / i'm just like you. but Caitlyn doesn't make it personal. this phrasing makes the things she says, that are technically more subjective, sound grounded and objective.
Vi, of course, is as direct and personal as ever. and again it kind of looks like she answers Caitlyn's subtext rather than what she's saying on the surface, though this isn't as clear in this example.
Lets circle all the way back to this scene.
I think in the overall excitement of the fandom upon recieving this scene, plus the memeification that it went through, we all forgot that this is an objectively unromantic and strange thing to say. On the surface, it's a dry fact about a military operation. But after reading through this entire analysis, isnt this just the most Caitlyn line ever? And of course, the subtext here is abundant.
Translation: i knew you would go look for your sister, and I've decided to put my hate for her behind for you. I understand you will forever love your family and I'm not asking you to choose between us anymore. And more generally, I'm sorry and I love you, at the same time.
And the best thing? Vi gets it. Because she understands Caitlyn's indirect language more than anyone else.
So, in conclusion. Why all this matters? Well, truthfully, I'm just sick of the constant "Caitlyn didn't apologize" takes, that for some reason expected Caitlyn to sit down and directly say "I'm sorry" to the camera. I hope I explained why making this claim, or worse, trying to "fix it fic" is absurdly out of character. If youre a Caitlyn enjoyer, why erase her unique characterization for the sake of simplicity?
Not only is it out of character for Caitlyn, it's also out of character for Vi to ever demand that of her. Vi loves Caitlyn and underatands her cues. Just because an invisible audience needs things spelled out for them, doesn't mean the characters need it too. Vi gets what Caitlyn is saying regardless of whether she says it directly or not- that's part of the charm of their dynamic. That "imbalance" in how they express themselves isn't something that HAS to be solved- they clearly know how to work around it. And to me, that makes their relstionship feel more realistic and fleshed out.
Now that we addressed the fans- doesn't this also explain why so many people seem to get drastically different readings on Cait? Unlike Vi, whether you pick up on Caitlyn's subtext and body language or not, you'll get a whole different character. I suspect a lot of people who hate Caitlyn only read her at face value, based on what she says alone. By doing that, they get a much drier, angrier character than she actually is. and of course, Vi's devotion and attraction to her makes no sense if that's the only thing you see.
i want to add a few things to this analysis. Originally, when I set out to write it, i wanted to go in depth about a bunch of other Caitvi scenes and examine their dialog- but a lot of Caitvi dialog scenes are basically just "Vi talking openly and Caitlyn is also there". Which says a lot about Caitlyn's character, but doesnt really provide an example of how she expresses herself.
It's not to say Caitlyn can't provide emotional support when needed. We see that she can she her words to effectively comfort to people.
However, Caitlyn quiets down when one of 2 scenarios plays. 1. whenever Caitlyn's own emotions get involved, and 2. When Vi gets really emotional and vulnerable, and Caitlyn seemingly doesn't know how to verbally comfort her.
The first scenario can be seen here.
Vi is finally opening up to Cait. her usual demeanor around her up till that point, which involved sarcasm and aggression, is completely dropped. That is the first time she lets her defenses around Caitlyn fully drop.
Caitlyn is extremely touched by that, and devestated by the idea of never seeing Vi again. She doesnt say a word during this entire scene, overwhelmed with emotions.
Second scenario can be seen here.
Vi again is the one speaking. She tells Caitlyn about her biggest regret, of leaving her sister behind in a moment of anger.
Caitlyn offers her verbal support in the beginning of the scene. (notice how she's addressing something Vi never actually told her directly- Caitlyn is just as capable of reading between Vi's lines.)
But yet again, as Vi gets more emotional and vulnerable, Caitlyn gets quiter. I think she doesn't know how to comfort Vi verbally at this point, and just like with their first kiss, she uses touch to bridge that gap.
Which brings us to this scene.
On the surface, Vi is angry at the ignorance of the council and topside in general. But the subtext is, she is disillusioned, disappointed that she ever let herself believe that maybe Caitlyn was different, that they can have a genuine bond that isnt affected by their backgeounds.
"We tried, okay? It wasn't enough. Topside and bottom, oil and water, that's all there is!"
And for the first, and ONLY time in the entire show, it is Caitlyn who brings the subtext to the surface.
I dont think people understand how huge this is. Caitlyn never addresses emotions verbally. Caitlyn doesn't like leaving herself vulnerable. But she is sensing that Vi closing up to her, and she can't reach out to touch her- you can see her trying in the beginning of the scene- so, she is forced to voice her emotions. She metaphorically has her back to the wall again, just like we saw in their fight scene in 2x08. Vi definitely has that grip on Caitlyn- she is the only person that can force Cait to be this direct- but you can tell it's not something that comes naturally to her.
And because it's Vi were talking about, she's being honest through and through. She just answers Caitlyn's question directly.
This scene is also why i think 90% of the fandom thinks Caitlyn is the emotionally open half of the pairing, while Vi is cagey and indirect. sadly, we zoomed in on the one time they flipped the script, and kind of ignored the nuance of the situation. This is the exception, not the rule.
Despite the surprise little Uno reverse we got, this scene still follows the usual Caitvi dialog dynamics- Vi is leading the conversation, Caitlyn is on the back foot. Vi speaks openly and at length, Caitlyn is short on words, sticking to the matter of fact (she's trying to find a solution instead of addressing the feelings- "there must be something else we can do" "i can fix this").
Another scene i want to elaborate on. Let's talk talk about Caitlyn actually apologizing, and what it looks like.
We can all agree Caitlyn is apologizing here, right? Even though it is not a direct "I'm sorry"- she admits she made a mistake. Caitlyn likes sticking to facts and actions, rather than describing how she feels. Its not "I'm sorry", it's "I shouldnt have done this". It's not "I'm guilty", it's "I couldve prevented it". It's action based talk, which is deeply related to her relationship with responsibility and power.
Vi knows all of this. This is why after Caitlyn admits her mistakes in their argument in 2x08, Vi goes softer, dropping her anger for genuineness. She knows Caitlyn is sorry, and she knows Caitlyn won't say it out loud. Vi didn't fall in love with Caitlyn for her words, she fell in love with the person Caitlyn showed her she is through her actions. And luckily, unlike with words, Caitlyn is exceptional at making non-verbal gestures.
and one last thing. Remember how in the scene of their first kiss, Vi openly expresses to Caitlyn how she feels and what she needs Caitlyn to do to comfort her? Here's the Caitlyn version of it.
The translation: "i'm terrified of her, please come with me". She tells Vi how she feels and what she needs Vi to do to comfort her. She just does it Caitlynly- indirect and vague. I know a lot of people like focusing on Caitlyn's vengeful feelings towards Jinx, but to me, her absolute insistence that Vi joins her in this quest comes from a place of fear- though Cait would never outright admit it.
Vi gets it anyway.
Again, they express themselves very differently, but they know how to read each other perfectly well.
don't worry this is Not the end of this conversation
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everybody's favorite boy :]
Ripped Seams
Here's the third comic in the Open World AU. I decided it would be more interesting if the cast also had some limited ability to conjure and worldcraft, so I wanted to explore that. This comic is both the longest I've done yet and is the most involved painting-wise. I hope it was worth the wait!
This is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Such an amazingly talented artist.
Hey raggy. I think Jax is on his period, maybe you should get him some ibuprofen.
and a heating pack. His tummy probably hurts :(
Recently completed my 2nd playthrough of chapter 4 and wanted to draw the fun gang in their respective equipments for the final fight. It’s not the most optimal setup, but it’s fun!
pomni does a silly willy oopsie daisy
Definitely not me running and crying back to Shakra because a driznit was following me and i had 2hp while on steel soul, nuh uh.
SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR TADC EP 8!!
+ TW for knives
i was genuinely crying during this scene it hurt so bad to hear her little "mama" when she first got hit
i dont regret my decision in the slightest to kill off her mom in my au