The Onesided One

13 | she/her | obsessed with too many internet things

[toxicspacedust]

Kids Being Creepy

I’m actually surprised nobody touched on this. I think. But for those of you who have younger siblings or babysat for someone or at least had their parents or guardians tell you there was at least one time in your childhood that you said something to creep whoever was watching you at the out, but you have no recollection of it. For example when I was young I was visiting my grandma’s friend with her and when I was at her house I told her that her cat marshmallow was on top of the cabinet. It freaked her out because A) the cat was dead for a year or two and B) I never met the cat before. Could you imagine like aliens interacting with human children and they say or do something very unsettling and it freaks them out

[fried-burritoes-books-and-cats]

Humans are weird

Okay, so I know this has been covered a little, but what if we’re the only species who speaks figuratively? And the only one who uses {warning, language ahead} fuck as a swear word?

Bijok had never had a human as part of his crew, but he had studied the manual throughly. As part of a new program to keep every race on the good side of humans, one of the most dangerous but beneficial creatures in the universe, Bijok was now responsible for a human. His job was to take care of the human, providing anything he thought the human needed, and monitor its mental state. It had only been a day, but already his human was proving to be quite strange.

Human-Vicky slapped the desk. “Ah, fuck me, I left out a control sequence.”

Bijok, who had learned what that meant, was hesitant, but had learned to do as the human said. He stood behind her at the input panel and hesitantly slipped a tentacle into her pants. 

Vicky froze “Bijok, what are you doing?”

BIjok froze as well. “You said ‘fuck me’ “ he answered warily.

He was unprepared for her peal of laughter. She turned around, pulling his tentacle out of her pants, blushing. “I meant figuratively”

BIjok frowned, unfamiliar with that word. “What is ‘figuratively’ ?

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via sadieclaire0)

[theonesidedone-blog]

me: *sips tea*

me: *judges people*

me: what have i become

me: *sips and judges*

[theonesidedone-blog]

i have been left at home alone on halloween to sit in my pitch black room and watch cake baking videos on youtube. tell me this isnt the plot of a sad horror film.

[thedgeofsleep]

one of jackieboy man’s powers, i presume!

[plumcupcakes]

Sean the Barista AU

—

Not another weird dream I had, but just a small idea I wanted to get out ;v;

[therealjacksepticeye]

Dreeeeeeaaaaaaaam Daaadddyyyyy!

[royvmustang-deactivated20221127]

I’m in class right now and the guy in front of me just opened up the registration website, dropped out of this class and got up and left

[peace-love-colbert]

Source

[captaincrusher]

I read this on twitter and every anti-choice response proves his point. They all try to redefine the scenario.

[corvidaezero-deactivated2021061]

“As the father of no daughters because I’m literally in 8th grade, I think sexual harassment is bad.”

These kid are the future.

[mitchiepeas]

My face when I think about how I get to see @markiplier perform tonight!!

[markiplier]

my face thinking about you making that face

[margoandthesarcasmshow-deactiva]

My face when i think of @markiplier doing that face

[markiplier]

my face when I saw your face seeing my face

[akumazen]

Me shaking my head as @markiplier ’s post gets out of hand

[markiplier]

me signaling the yes blaster with my nod noodle at your nopenado

[heckifiknowcomics]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Heck If I Know

[theonesidedone-blog]

in south africa we say 'i love you' but we also say 'ek is lief vir jou' which translates to 'i am love for you' because we have many languages here and they have different sentence structure and i think that's beautiful

[mixmoo-deactivated20181030]

way too late

[sneksanders]

this has probably been done before

[godpenis]

[fandom-mused-fandom-games]

Hey, so, I was against selling the flag on stuff for legal reasons, and I’m kind of giving in a little, but I just realized something.

There is exactly one piece of completely original content that I made throughout this project.

who wants it on a tee shirt?