Hi! I really want to recover, but I don’t know where to start. I’m seeing a psychologist since last month, but she doesn’t make any difference. I wanted to know where you started. Like, you stopped counting calories, or started eating “more”? I’m lost, but I’m so freaking scared. I don’t want to worry my parents, I have already lost my period. I want to recover. At least try for a week. How was it to you? 🍃stay strong🍃
First of all I would like to thank you for sending me this message and telling me all of this <3 it is very brave of you :)
It’s such a good sign that you want to recover and I am very proud!
I didn’t stop counting calories or started eating ‘’more’’ from one day to another, it took a lot of time. Once I saw there were people who wanted to help me and were there to support me and give me advice every time I wanted to eat less, for example, really helped me and little by little, I started doing it less. When I was very ill, I was so unhappy and felt so bad with myself, that I realised I didn’t want to continue living that way and had to do something about it. It was hard to accept that I wasn’t able to do it by myself, but I remembered someone telling me that it’s okay to seek help, we are not perfect, and that accepting we need someone else’s help is actually something very brave.
In my opinion, if you are still living at home, it is very important that your parents know about it.. because: 1. you shouldn’t pay the clinic (if you are under age or if you don’t have a full time job), 2. eating disorders appear because we cannot deal with some things that hurt us too much, that makes us feel bad, angry, sad, lonely, etc… and most of the time, family is an important topic we talk during therapies because we live with them and always have so there are normally a lot of things related with how you feel with family that you might need to work. it is very important that your family knows about you getting treatment because they can help you so much (talking to your therapist, getting to understand what is happening and how they can help you, getting to know more about the illness, etc). And I remember I also felt very guilty and didn’t want to worry them, but since they’ve known, they’ve helped me all they can. We cannot control how they feel but I’m sure they will be so thankful you’ve trusted them. Your therapist can tell them, or he can help you so you feel ready to do it by yourself.
For your question, my therapist told my parents some ‘’rules’’ like for example, the bathroom had to be closed, I had to eat everything they’d put on the plate, I couldn’t choose anything, I couldn’t have money on me, etc, and we had to follow them for months. At first it was VERY hard for me, especially eating everything from my plate, but once you talk about your ‘’real’’ problems, how you FEEL, things that have affected you, even if it was something that happened to you many years ago and made you feel bad, it can be small things, but talking about them really makes you feel a lot BETTER. Eating my whole plate became easier and easier as I talked about my problems (I do recommend you talk about food/myths about food (none of them are real!), and body image as well, but NOT only).
I really hope it helped :) <3 take care!
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