What Perks, Exactly?

There is nothing more terrible than a persona that consumes your entire life.

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

You

“I’m afraid I need a bit more than just one word. Please, go on.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Have you ever been in love? Truthfully

It’s a personal question, but it isn’t one that he will refuse to answer. Besides, if he did refuse, then it would prompt even more questions that he really wouldn’t want to answer. 

“That would depend on the type of love that you’re asking about. Familial love, of course, I’ve experienced. For example, I love Watari. The man is practically my father and I don’t know where I’d be without him.” 

I highly doubt this is a question specifically referring to Quillsh, however. 

“As for romantic love… I’m afraid I haven’t experienced that. Who knows if that will ever happen. I am much too busy to deal with that.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Were you born unnaturally flexible or do you do morning instagram-aesthetic Pilates™?

He put a lot of time and effort into training, and it paid off with time. No one would look at him and assume he could fight well, but that was how he could easily win.

“No one is born this flexible; however, I do disagree that it’s unnatural. With enough years of training and boredom, anything is possible.” 

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Ryuzaki is trash. Bless you for dealing with his bs lol

“If I didn’t have to deal with this persona, then I wouldn’t. No one should willingly put up with something like it.” 

Before he started this case, he first wondered if there were any other detective codes that he could use that weren’t this one. He had tested Ryuzaki out after the LABB murder cases, but he didn’t like it then and he certainly didn’t like it now. However, all the other detectives that he could have used weren’t quite right. They were either too well known or had done enough cases to create a name for themselves. Ryuzaki, however, had not. Some just wouldn’t give off the right feel. Ryuzaki just worked for L’s needs on the Kira case.

“Although Ryuzaki is a total pain, he still gets the job done. So, I can’t really take it back.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

has the task force noticed anything about the persona ? maybe light ?

When he first introduced himself as Ryuzaki on this case, he was worried that people would see through it. These men were detectives, but he also knew that he had been using personas for most of his career and hadn’t been found out so this case would be no different. 

“The task force hasn't found anything out. But, out of all of them, I would think Mr. Yagami could figure it out if he puts his mind to it. He hasn’t personally worked with me before like he is now, but he does know of me. Therefore, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume that he may have a preconceived notion about what L is like. Even if that is the case, he is the kind of man to not care what I’m like as long as I solve this case. 

Light, however, is a different story than his father.” 

Based on what Mr. Yagami has told me, Light admires L and the work that I’ve done. As a person, he might be curious to know what L is like. But… he might be Kira. And as Kira, he would certainly want to know what L is like in order to kill me. 

“Should Light ever figure out that Ryuzaki is a persona, then he will look even more suspicious than he already does.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

I'm curious. How is your non-Ryuzaki posture? How do you sit? Do you actually sleep?? So many questions. So little time.

“Questions like these help me remember how this persona hides so much about me.” 

As much as he hates this persona and is very vocal about it, he cannot deny that it is helpful. Anyone around him wouldn’t know a single thing about him, all they would know is the lies that he puts forward. Still, he didn’t love who he had to be for a persona. It physically hurt his back and knees, the sleep deprivation was dangerous, and the diet made him sick most of the time. But, he’d do anything for a case. 

“It shouldn’t be shocking that I can stand up straight or that I sit with both feet on the ground. Although, I do fancy sitting on the floor and spreading out all of my work. Sleep, though, that is a bit more tricky for me. I do have insomnia, but I won’t go over 32 hours without sleep. Sleep deprivation is serious and the body cannot run without it. So, generally, I try to get about 4 hours of sleep every day, at the very least. I can’t do my job if I’m passing out or not able to pay attention. So, yes, I’m human and I do sleep.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Daddy.

Perhaps this is just what L gets for his years and years of his questionable morals. Or maybe he did something in a past life and the universe is getting back at him for no reason. Either way, he didn’t ask for this. 

For a moment, he thought that he could feign ignorance to this and say he didn’t have children. However, he wasn’t ignorant at all. 

“This could seem like a radical idea, but I think it would be best if we did not say this to me. Ever.” 

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

How do you not gain weight by eating all the crap Ryuzaki eats? /I know you hate him, but i have to ask./

As much as L would love to fully block out everything that has to do with his past, he can still distinctly remember a time where he needed to gain weight or he could die. However, that was then, and this was now. He was in a very different situation. 

“I cannot deny that I am very skinny, so a few pounds would do me more good than harm. That being said, I still try to work out if I have the time. I’m quite good at multi-tasking and running in place and working has been my go-to as of late. The task force has to sleep eventually, after all.

If I had the luxury to eat anything other than cake, I think I might burst into tears. Out of all the foods, I miss chicken and pasta.” 

His stomach growls at the thought of real food. God, does he miss it.

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

L tell me the truth do you jerk off into socks

He blinks. A lot. One might even say he blinks too much. He reads the message over and over again, hoping the words on the screen would magically shift into something else. However, with his luck, that won’t be happening. 

As he thinks it over he learns that he would rather walk away from his laptop, leave the country, go into hiding, and starve to death before even acknowledging the question. 

Despite all of that, he will answer. Barely. 

“Wouldn’t you love to know.” 

The words are quick and have a bite to them. The kind of bite to show that he’s unamused and pissed off, but not so much bite that he’s too rude. 

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Dear journal, 

It appears there are too many legal repercussions for throwing employees out a window for incompetence. However, as the days go on, I seem to care less and less about that. 

-L

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

What? I'm not a dickweed. Yeah, I have dark circles under my eyes, and sometimes I put my fingers in my mouth when I'm nervous, and I sit funny sometimes. But I can't help it. And I'm a nice person. I promise.

“How absolutely fascinating... Please tell me more.” 

His words almost drone on, showing how truly disinterested in the topic. Of course, he had anticipated people getting defensive over these traits but that didn’t mean he wanted to deal with it or cared about it in the slightest. 

“What you do in your free time is of no concern to me. However, if you ever need a chiropractor for your poor posture and sitting habits, do let me know. I can give you some wonderful recommendations.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

And in that moment, I swear we were Ryuzaki.

“I hope to never have to be around a large group of people acting like Ryuzaki.”

His voice is absolutely serious about it, too.

“Sounds like a living nightmare.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

If you met someone who acted a bit similar to (not exactly like) Ryuzaki, how would you act towards them?

He is in the middle of removing the eyeliner that is caked onto his face, cleaning and scrubbing roughly until his skin turns red. He’d prefer it if it were off quickly and without too much of a hassle, but he can’t always get his way when it comes to this persona.

“I wouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Most people have quirks about them. But, when it comes to the traits that Ryuzaki has... I’m afraid I am quite biased.” 

How would I act around that? 

“I would judge them... But, silently... I’d absolutely hate to offend someone.” 

A blatant lie, of course. He couldn’t care less if someone was offended by his opinion. Why should their feelings matter? It isn’t as if he’ll ever see them again.

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

So um, are there any perks to being Ryuuzaki?

Anonymous also said: “......did not read the title...” 

“No.” 

His answer is quick and sharp. It holds some form of malice for what he has subjected himself to. Perhaps if he was asked when the case started if there were perks, then he might have been able to give a few. Not many, of course, but one or two. Although, as he mulls it over in his head, he might find a one if he overthinks it. 

Not really a perk, but just the reality of my situation. 

“You could say that being Ryuzaki hides L and that is a perk. It allows me to remain unknown, which is very useful to me. I’ve never liked the idea of someone... Understanding me for what I am.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Ryukzaki. Ryuk zaki. RYUKzaki.

He knows that he should be working, but there’s nothing truly wrong in taking a break or two. Or that’s what he’s been telling himself as he switches back and forth from his work and random articles that are he’s found. His knees and back are killing him but he makes no look of discomfort. 

“You’ve spelled it wrong. Technically it’s R-Y-U-Z-A-K-I... But, I suppose it really doesn’t matter in the long run.” 

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

What brand of eyeliner do you use?

He has a drawer filled with the different kinds of eyeliners that he’s tried out for this persona alone. It ranges from cheap to expensive, but the money has never been an issue. If something works well, then he will gladly stick with it. However, he does not like having to stand in front of a mirror every single day just to alter his appearance enough that he isn’t himself anymore. 

What needs to be done will be done. 

“Estēe Lauder’s SuperNoir.”

[theperksofbeingryuzaki]

Ryukzaki

First, comes a sigh, followed by a loud crack as he rolls his shoulders back and sits up straight. His knees feel like they’ve locked, but he managed to place his feet on the floor before he stretches his legs out. 

“What about him?” 

He’s more tired than he’s ever been in his life and he wonders if it will all be worth it in the end. That is if he doesn’t die first. It takes a lot of keep up the act he was putting forward. But, if L had one thing about him that wasn’t a negative trait then it was his determination.