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A dream

Had a dream last night. Was at some place in Raffles or City Hall. There was a range for shooting. I was hogging a SAR21 to myself. Cos it has a scope at all. A beautiful girl was doing the demo. Teaching us how to load the rounds and all. She had dark flowing hair. Untied. A dark skin complexion. We talked. It was great. Making me feel happier than I have been in a Long time.

Time to go to the range. I asked for her number. It was +95+65 8563888888 and I know it was a dream coz numbers aren’t that Long.

At the range, quickly finished the course and got back to her. She was unable to talk for long as her boss was looking at her but she asks me to call her as she won’t be working tomorrow. Me standing watching as the dream end. Feeling a wave of sadness knowing that she is fading away. She does.

How I wish my reality was that of hers. How I wish I could call her. How I wish for another dream with her.

You wait for someone for years but you always get looked over. Always.

That girl from office

I don't know what is the matter with me. We have been formally introduced. But every time I see her I can't even bring the courage to put a smile, give a wave or say hi.

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere On the opposite platform, in the windows along the lane Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away There would be nothing I couldn’t do I would put everything on the line and hold you tight

If only love is half as beautiful and half as tragic as this show.

Some thoughts

I love films. I do. I used to love books a lot. Books by fantasy writers. Books of thriller. Books of horror like Stephen King. I also love manga. They should be considered as a sort of literature. I guess films took over that. The idea that a director can pan a story so nice over two hours to you. To send a message. To tell you a lesson. To depict something that happened. To have some fun. I like movies. Almost of all genres (except maybe animation, cos they run too much on a pattern) i even like horror. Though that mostly becomes a sort of challenge to myself. But most of all, I like hidden gems. Hidden independent or low budget films that touch me on a personal level. Shows like Lars and the real girl, the before trilogy, max, the untouchables and adding to that today, chef. I love these films. They show what is real and what is not, they relate to what happens to people. And not some syfy thing. Or some supernatural things. I love those and I feel I should have a list somehow of such great films.

Today marks the 16382846th time that I am going to start doing the right thing. I'm feeling good about this one. Hopefully it doesn't end as bad as the others.

I feel like I have a lot to say. I feel like there's a lot to do. But I have no plan. No directions. I envy people with directions with plans. I guess maybe that's why I'm single. I am unable to think for the future. I overthink a lot. Not confident at all. Even when I'm doing one thing, I'm not even focused on it. Right now, I'm trying to blog and listen to kodaline's album. What an awesome album it is. I really liked the sound of it. Especially the song high hopes. I'm already totally distracted. I have never been able to do anything right. When will I ever be able to do what I wanna do. When will I ever be able to do anything.

Pit. I was in it, The Pit. You were in it, The Pit. We all were in it, The Pit. The Pit. I was in it, The Pit. You were in it, The Pit. We all fell in The Pit. The Pit. I fell in it, The Pit. You fell in it, The Pit. We all were in that Pit. Oh, The Pit. I fell in it, The Pit. You fell in it, The Pit. We all fell in it, The Pit. Sometimes life's gonna get you down, Hit the ground running, take a look around, You think you found love, but you're standing in The Pit. Sometimes life's gonna get you down, Hit the ground running, take a look around, You think you found love, but you're standing in The Pit. The Pit. Well I was in it, The Pit. You were in it, The Pit. We all fell in that Pit.