Seto Kaiba's best/funniest lines and moments from the Yu-Gi-Oh! dub
Gozaburo Kaiba: “Seto, don’t you know I treated you better than I even treated my own son?”
Seto Kaiba: “Thanks for nothing.”
2. Seto Kaiba: “It’s a new high-tech dueling device that allows players the realism of arena matches in any setting.
Joey Wheeler: “It looks like a regular old briefcase to me.”
Seto Kaiba: “It’s in the briefcase, you moron.”
3. Seto Kaiba: “Hmm. Blah-blah-blah. Don’t you get tired of making the same speech every time you’re faced with a challenge? Stop saving the world and get a hobby!”
4. Noah Kaiba: “So, you think I’m insane for wanting to claim what’s rightfully mine?”
Seto Kaiba: “No, I think you’re insane for trapping me in a virtual computer program and forcing me to duel you!”
5. ”Me? Duel you? I’d have more of a challenge playing solitaire.”
6. ”Why don’t you look for an opponent you can actually beat? Like an infant, or a monkey.”
7. Yami Yugi: “Say something!”
Seto Kaiba: “Don’t screw up!”
8. Joey Wheeler: “Are we going, or what?”
Seto Kaiba: “What do you think, genius?”
Joey Wheeler: “I’m detecting some sarcasm, rich boy. ”
9. Joey Wheeler: “There’s three on one out there!”
Seto Kaiba: “I see you can count. However, numbers aren’t everything.”
10. Mokuba Kaiba: “Yugi helped me.”
Seto Kaiba: “You know how I feel about Yugi Moto!”
Mokuba Kaiba: “I didn’t know who else to turn to!”
Seto Kabia: “Anyone else!”
11. Computer: “Well, maybe I’m not in such a talkative mood myself right now!”
Seto Kaiba: “I’d find that hard to believe!” (note: in that episode, the computer would not shut up)
12. Seto Kaiba: “Any duelist late for registration will be disqualified. Mokuba, make sure Wheeler’s late.
Joey Wheeler: “Hey! I know an insult when I hear one! Look at me when I’m yelling at ya!”
13. Seto Kaiba: “Don’t you have someone else to annoy?”
Joey Wheeler: “No, not at the moment.”
14. “I’m not going to sit here and talk to some mutated hood ornament! I’m just going to knock you into next week!”
15. ”Oh great, I’m hallucinating again.
16. Siegfried von Schroeder: ”You need to give up 1,000 of your Life Points first, and you can’t afford that now!”
Seto Kaiba: “There’s nothing I can’t afford!”
17. Siegfried von Schroeder: “This isn’t over, Kaiba!”
Seto Kaiba: ”Face it, your Life Points are at 0. That’s about as over as it gets.”
18. Seto Kaiba: “AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Aah, I’m funny…”
19. Seto Kaiba: Relax, it’s a cheap copy. (Talking about his virtual clone) I used to create virtual clones of myself all the time to duel against.
Duke Devlin: Why duel yourself?
Seto Kaiba: Who better?
20 . (To Siegfried) “Get out of my life, and take your bad hair with you!”
21. (To Siegfried) “Are you done? These people came here to see a duel, not a bad poetry lesson!”
22. “So what are you waiting for, Ziegfried? Call off your ponies.”
23. “What do you think I’m afraid of? Your galloping girl scouts?”
24. Kaiba: “So you got a dweeb army. Is that supposed to make me afraid to attack?”
Dartz: “No, not unless destroying an innocent soul concerns you.”
Kaiba: “As a president of a major corporation, I have to do that everyday.”
25. ”Don’t think I’m as gullible as the rest of these dorks! Don’t you know who I am?!”
26. Yami: “We’ve arrived at the heart of evil.”
Kaiba: “Must you be so dramatic?”
27. ”If I had a dime for every time you mentioned destiny, I’d be even richer.”
28. “Oh great, if it isn’t the dweeb patrol.”
29. “You know how much I hate that thing! Your cartoon dragon is a disgrace to the original Blue Eyes!”
30. Pegasus: “I must’ve missed the joke.”
31. ”You mock me! How dare you defy Obelisk with that puny Kuriboh!”
32. ”So, Joey, I doubt you’ll have a chance. And we’re 4000 feet in the air. The last time I checked, monkeys can’t fly.”
33. ”It’s been only a minute and I’m already bored.”
34. ”Yugi, don’t insult my intelligence thinking that that little furball can defeat my ultimate dragon!”
35. (Kaiba opens case and throws a dueling disk to Joey)
Joey: “Looks like a flyin’ saucer.”
Kaiba: “Don’t be stupid!”
36. ”You better make good on your promise to restore my brother. Because if you don’t, I’ll take great pleasure in separating your soul from your body in my own way!”
37. Alistar: “I’m here to represent everyone whose life was ripped apart by your company!”
Kaiba: “Get in line, I hear that speech everyday.”
38. Pegasus: “What did I do to inspire such hatred?”
Kaiba: “It’s a long list, and I’m short on time.”
39. ”I see, I had no idea you were such a fan. Is that why you brought me here? If you wanted my autograph, all you had to do was ask.”
40. (after Alistar challenges Kaiba to a rematch) “Does that mean you’ll get out of my life forever?”
41. Duke: “Whoa, it’s a party. What’re you doing here?”
Kaiba: “Certainly not to attend the dweeb convention.
42. Ziegfried: “What’s it like being a washed up has-been?”
Kaiba: “Why don’t you tell me?”
44. Kaiba’s plane: “Flight command to KC1, radar indicates you’ve reached Egypt.”
Kaiba: “I coulda told you that by looking out my window.”
45. (watching Noah’s home movies) “Nice outfit, dork.”
46. Alister: “You can’t combine a trap card with a monster!”
Kaiba: “Ha ha. Looks like I just did.”
47. (while Joey is singing “One Potato, Two Potato” in order to pick which door to enter) “How did that fool make it this far? Just pick a door you geek!”
48. (right after the end of the Noah arc) “Alright, that little detour was a complete waste of my time and effort. So let’s move on and pretend that nonsense never happened.”
49. “My first words were Neutron Blast Attack!”
50. “Mokuba, what do I always tell you? If at first you don’t succeed, blast them with your Blue Eyes again!”
(Did the 4kids version of Yu-Gi-Oh! lower the quality of a lot of scenes and a fair amount of the character development? Yes, but it made me laugh and it made me laugh hard. And I still enjoy both versions of the anime and the manga and all for different aspects of each one.)
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