On acknowledging the toxic elements of Sibgene
I think the Lovely Writer fandom really needs to do a better job of addressing the dark parts of Nubsib’s personality and his relationship with Gene. Most of us(and I include myself in this) have fixated on the cute aspects of their relationship while hand waving the toxic behavior Nubsib exhibits. I think we’ve all gotten so used to ignoring that kind of thing because of how prevalent it is in BL shows, but, given the fact that Lovely Writer itself seems to be trying to challenge our acceptance of that, I think it only fair that we don’t simply accept it in Nubsib. Consider the fact that he:
1. Drew Gene into his extremely aggressive audition scene(a scene which depicts abusive behavior) without consent or even warning.
2. Emotionally manipulated Gene into kissing him in ep 2, and, in ep 3, got all up in his space whilst acting out the sexual positions Gene was researching(something he pushed Gene into in the first place) despite Gene’s clear discomfort.
3. Wheedled information out of Gene while Gene was intoxicated and thus unable to censor himself the way he normally would, and then proceeded to convince Gene after he sobered up that they had been sexually intimate.
4. Told Gene that Gene was only allowed to be generous with him(after Gene gave money to Aey as well as Nubsib for food).
5. Clearly got upset when he saw Gene talking to Mork at a coffee shop, demanded to know what they were talking about, and told him he shouldn’t talk to strangers(like one of the main actors in Gene’s own show is a fucking stranger).
6. Invaded his room twice. Once while Gene was in there, and resisted Gene’s efforts to make him leave. The second time it was while Gene was out of town, and had no way of stopping Nubsib or even being aware of the violation of privacy. Nubsib even went so far as to plant a stuffed animal in Gene’s room, likely also as an attempt at emotional manipulation.
7. Tracked Gene down after Gene specifically tried to escape him. Then, after Gene put his hand on Nubsib’s mouth to stop him from kissing him, pulled the hand away and proceeded to do so anyway. He also followed Gene into the house after Gene shut the door in his face, an action which was clearly indicating that Nubsib was unwelcome. The fact that Gene didn’t attempt to stop the kiss a second time or throw Nubsib out doesn’t change the fact that Nubsib ignoring the initial rejection was wrong.
8. Told Gene “I wanted to be your only one. To only let me hug you. To only think of me. To love only me.” That kind of possessiveness is not healthy.
9. When Gene slept on the couch, took him to the bed and shared it with him, even though Gene sleeping on the couch indicated that he didn’t want that level of intimacy with Nubsib.
10. The whole deception about who he is. Which is literally the only thing that has been acknowledged as wrong thus far.
I think we’ve all gotten lulled into a false sense of security with Nubsib, since he does ask for permission to be intimate with Gene at times. But that does not change the things I’ve mentioned above.
The point is, Nubsib in many ways embodies all of the negative things a Top in BL shows often exhibits. Given that Lovely Writer is, in fact, trying to draw attention to the toxic elements in the BL industry, I think we do the show a disservice by not acknowledging who Nubsib is. I wonder if the show will actually fully reckon with that itself. If the creators are hoping that we’ll notice those things in Nubsib, and realize that those behaviors are wrong.
I don’t know, ultimately. I haven’t been able to find a translation of the novel, so perhaps there are people who do know, though of course there's no guarantee that the show will entirely follow the novel. But for me, at least, it would honestly be deeply disappointing if a show that seems to recognize the things that are wrong with the industry and the relationships in the shows has a main pairing which demonstrates many of those wrong things and yet allows it to go unchallenged.
I hope not. I hope this show doesn’t just allow this relationship and Nubsib as a character to continue as is. But, given the reaction of the fandom to Sibgene, I rather doubt it.