In Times Of Healing

[therapeutic]

getting pass the pain.

finding peace to get by the day, isn't always easy, cultivating an inner calm doesn't come fast. when the temple of the mind and heart become fractured or broken, its as if the whole world is collapsing, with no safe ground as the emotions flood you as a person, as if you're looking at yourself from the outside. it was through accepting the emptiness while trying to maintain some form of good or kindness that really help me get by each day and each moment. the trauma was like a gravity field the had an unbearable weight, and this is what needs to be understood. the hardest part is reconnecting with yourself, in order to rejoin the world.  

know that this isn't a pain that doesn't have to last forever, you can overcome it and be set free. it will take will and understanding, effort in ways that aren't conventional, actively engaging the pain, is how I over came it.  I cant stress enough the amount of forgiveness for yourself you have to have in order to recover yourself but its possible. Really know that you can get pass this. Because you can, it will be the best feeling when you do, don't let the struggle over come your will, giving into the pain. There is a real life outside of the pain that you feel. please down give up, your happiness isn't too far off. 

if you're in pain, I hope that my words help you. look past the pain and see the place that are still full of hope.

[therapeutic]

looking at pain, within

Recovering from a mental collapse and trauma isn't a linear path to settle areas of dis-ease within, nor is there a right way to get over certain pain. when you experience a lot of pain, noticing it in others comes quick, this can be a flow of compassion for others; especially when saying or thinking the words to trigger healing isn't easy. taking a real look at whats bothering a person isn't transparent or easy to identify.  Finding that practicing expressing difficult ideas and thoughts with yourself, can make expressing difficult moments much easier over time. This is practice that doesn't come easy but has a lot of benefits when putting it in the cycling pattern of thoughts. when alone reviewing the day and looking where we could have done better can have a discouraging affect, yet these are the moments where being able to forgive yourself really matters. instead of taking one day at time, take one moment at time, give yourself the time to heal as long as that may take, it’ll be worth it when you find the peace within yourself.

[therapeutic]

according to Google

(“I can personally testify to this, as my brain function became worlds better through exercise, focus and mediation. some medication did help normalize chemical brain function, yet it was exercise which really made the brain function stabilize.” -Lionel)

Treating Hippocampus Brain Injury (Helping the Brain Repair Itself)

Exercise. Exercise, particularly aerobic exercise, is one of the best ways to boost BDNF levels and improve hippocampal function. ...

Stimulate Your Brain. Keeping your brain stimulated can also increase hippocampus function. ...

Change Your Diet.

[therapeutic]

Imago therapy

to talk one person at-a-time

. This gives you a person who is speaking, we say “sending”, and another who is listening, or “receiving”.

...

Let's take them one at a time.

STEP ONE: MIRROR. ...

STEP TWO: VALIDATE. ...

STEP THREE: EMPATHIZE

[therapeutic]

the healing process

the healing process was vey difficult, a path walked alone, things many not always seem as they are when healing. the frustration and the pain that you may feel isn't everything. keep your peace, it will lead you to where you need to go and what you want to feel.

[therapeutic]

Giving up never felt so easy, when feeling estranged from ones self. As if looking in the mirror you can feel the broken places, and in the minds eye you can see a sense of disfigurement. As deep as your wounds may feel and as disruptive your sense of self can be. Its amazing how holding on to one memory or one thought can feel like the only good within yourself, it was the good in me. Certain memories were the call to reset as I allow to feel the pain which estranged me so dearly.

[therapeutic]

The reset.

Every day i try and Have a good thought, overtime I would try to stay in that feeling longer and longer. 

[therapeutic]

things that bind

the hardest things to speak about the thing that go unmentioned or unexplained, with a lack of certain understanding. There are so many times where getting through each day is a task, with unparalleled difficulties. when things seem so binding and choices seem slim, finding the little things where being content is the only shedding light in the darkest corners which sunlight cannot reach. Building a small internal fire from the kindling of past memories and bits of the future, which amount to near nothing; is the only thing keeping this flame alive.  Drawing from this smallest amount of warmth and the little bit of light, having to last til the next sunrise; bringing the promise of warmth, the dispelling of darkness and thoughts which tear the sight of dreams which seem but a fingers reach away.

[therapeutic]

Narcissism can be tamed, as it is the reflection the of ego. In small humbling acts one can regain their sense of humanity, when allowing to feel the most valuable places within, we becoming accustomed to pushing away the places which seem weak. But there is much strength in excepting the weaknesses within ourselves, as it felt like an abandoning of the inner child. Its so difficult when living can hurt the most innocent places within ourselves. the most damaging things revolve around the inner child and can block feels associated with difficult emotions. Rough edge characteristics are usually marked by a hurt inner child. So when you see a person who may appear unpleasant there a is a good chance their inner child is hurt. As i had to do this difficult work myself

[therapeutic]

Pain moves through out the body over time, from an ankle, to a knee, up the spine, damn kinks in the neck. These little pain stem from the way we stand everyday, the way we exit a car, or misproperly lifting a box; all the unnoticed movements done over time. Its so difficult to remain aware of the body and how its held through out the day. The left side can be tight, thinking its from that side, when its over compensation from the right. The body reflects the connections with different parts sit as a whole.

[therapeutic]

thoughts have a powerful effect, affecting the area around each person. As empty and as undefinedable thoughts can be, their power predetermines so many aspects of life, to the people around us, projecting in words, body language and the windows of the soul; the eyes. Thoughts can have complete rule our lives, yet the lacking physical structure thoughts can be difficult to hone, cultivating proper thoughts isn’t always an easy task.

Learning how to slow the mind isn’t always an enjoyable process with the difficulties of every day life, the actions of others and the current mood resting on our minds like a crowns. Getting back to a healthier life style isn’t always easy when life servers nothing but curve balls, and the bat of our minds is cracked down the center, while a mental fog blurs vision. Realizing an empty mind, freed from chasing thoughts is a gift all in it own. 

[therapeutic]

All the areas that hurt most, are found here. Pur backside is forgotten cause we don’t see it. But getting in tune with your back is where all your strength comes from.

[therapeutic]

The interesting part about my most previous Trumatic event is that being conscious and aware of the happening, made moving through it easier, metabolizing it a lot quicker. It took about three weeks for my body to fully relax, Feeling the reverberating shock within my body; suddenly feeling the more subtle, stiffer part of my shoulders and neck. right before the impact, I excepted my fate.  I guess the point being is that things are a lot easier, when you just understand the situation, also the The subconscious stiffness that reverberate with pain, at times takes more time to feel.  once you get to that level, that’s when the healing really begins, your guard drops and then you can really be yourself. When healing comes first, everything else seems better, when it arrives. Learning to find the subconscious parts of your body that hurt from a Trumatic experience in order to release that pain and become whole again, knowing your body really comes into play.  learned to fall as a child helps a person to feel comfortable in odd situations, Knowing your body, really helps in finding Subconscious pain within the body, everyone has it. 



Sourced searched from google - “human physiology”

it’s no wonder a few wires can get crossed.

[therapeutic]

Using specific fractions to my problems really made it manageable. Instead of my whole right leg is gone, 5/8 of my leg gone, cause I can still move my ankle freely. this is a simple Leverage point and in self healing, which first starts in the mind. 3/8 of my leg still work, sounds silly but can really make things manageable; In places where injuries can inspire pessimism, negative thought patterns, defeting the beginning of the healing process. Its these little adjustments that ive learned to find a way to a better states of being.

[therapeutic]

Learning how to breath properly makes the world of difference.

[therapeutic]

Conquering drug addiction. 

Unlike physical pain, drug addiction is a bit tougher. Because it affects every aspect of your internal system. the terrible part is is once the chemicals are cycling through your brain and blood system, your body absorbs it like a sponge and the addiction comes from the bodies need to have that chemical. Back to the cycling system.

The cycling system I use for drugs was keeping myself busy constantly with photography and writing, Setting deadlines and anticipating the addiction; removing the Participants you use those drugs with - Is half the battle. The toughest part about addiction is your bodies need to crave that chemical. Trust me your body will unknowingly search for those chemicals whether you like it or not.   it’s very easy for you to neglect your health and when you can’t see things clearly, things get tougher.  I can tell you how I quit so many chemicals at once but i didn’t anticipation the backlash of my bodys need to crave those chemicals, (The list of chemicals was extensive)  Being able to quit so many chemicals at once, i assure you was an act pure will. 

Honestly meditation really did help a lot and I learned a lot and from doing yoga as young person. So here’s the problem, the bodies physical need and craving for chemicals is what you must fight not the actual chemical itself. I understand that most chemical cravings last for about 15 to 20 minutes give or take. throughout the day that craving will become an impulse and like a drum It constantly beats Throughout the day. As you learn to sit with the impulse and the cravings the drum will slowly beat less and less. The craving calm from 15 mins to 10, from 5 minutes 3, from 3 mins to 1, 1 minute to silence.  Yet the tricky part is that once it’s silent it can start back up with an instant.

Trust me I know how hard this can be and it is very difficult, I assure you, I know. it is your resolve which is your ultimate weapon and you can never lose it, Meaning is always with you.  Because you have more power than you think and you are much bigger than a small chemical.  I quit so many chemicals at once without the help of others, without rehab, without reassurance of love, completely alone, broken and isolated. So if you feel this way, you must lit a small candle in your mind and realize that you really have a lot more to live for than weathering away alone in the dark, Far from love and the embrace of others, With a shame so great yet Feel so small.  i’m not saying that you should try and be like me, it’s not easy. If you have tools definitely use them, because the slope is so slippery and the thorns are really rough.   

Remember losing the chemical is part of the battle. Keeping and creating deadlines Then getting rid of the people that used to do it with, anticipating the chemical reaction (Addiction and craving, slowing the drum) And reigniting your inner light of hope. Remember because you can never lose it. I really hope this has been helpful and if you feel like you’re in that position, its not over yet.  

[therapeutic]



I rode bmx for 15 years and I really enjoyed it. It offered me a lot of freedom it was fun doing tricks going to the skate park. One day I was running down the street going on 8 miles an hour and I broke my chain, I completely flipped over the bars almost smashing my face and then right before I did turned my face. I tore the ac ligament, With a smashing impact in the Street. I had the worst time because I couldn’t even put a T-shirt on or lift my arm off my body. I Remember that bruce lee could walk after he broke his back so I decided I would use my arm without surgery. The physical rehabilitation started at home. Without his health insurance I was pretty screwed and they said they would help me because of my “pre-existing,” condition, No I had health insurance during the injury. Every day I slowly would move to the ‘point of pain’ til it popped and cracked. Over months, I made the angle of my arm greater and greater, til held it over head. I read online that if you practice swordplay you can regain a lot of strength from a damage sholders. When I was able to move my arm enough. I went into my garage and hung a piece of wood about chest height and I started swinging at it. I did that for about a year until I was able to move properly. And the thing I realized about pain, which is even more important to me now is I remember that no matter how painful it is you have to keep moving, let it sit so still it mortify in that position.

What I learned about physical pain is bringing it to the point of frustration or resistance and working at that angle. And I learned that at times yes pain is really hard, working through it can be even harder.