Therapy With Nisi

Modern Therapy Musings From a Bay Area Shrink 

[therapywithnisi]

Btw

Sometimes I will reblog otherwise awesome content that uses the term 'toxic' to describe people- I just wanna say I don't endorse that way or thinking and I hope that term doesnt end up having cultural staying power. I put it in a similar pet peeve category alongside armchair mental health experts and scorned exes who casually diagnose everyone as a narcissist. Trauma is trauma. Behavior can be toxic, but not the person. I wrote an inspired rant about it a few months ago on fb, Ill have to share it sometime.

[therapywithnisi]

Also helpful for the person accusing someone of being defensive (b/c we all know how that lands)- you can request or implement these things as specific feedback regarding how they can better handle your feedback. Meta-feedback.... vulnerability all the way down!

[therapywithnisi]

The beginning therapist is bombarded with “self-care” talk. Most of it makes logical sense, every now and then it feels like a cop out when our grad schools, supervisors, friends, agencies, professional organizations or boards dismiss legit concerns we might have about our workload, unrealistic expectations placed upon us, etc. Many therapists can’t afford weekend getaways, nor can they fit a yoga class into their schedule. How do you get creative with self care on a budget? 

That said, here are some highlights from a training I provided to some colleagues this fall about avoiding burnout as a therapist- 

Maintain some kind of journal- track your habits, maintain a to-do list, daily gratitude log, Etc. You’re keeping track of so many people’s moods and emotions you may need written documentation of your own so you can honestly and thoughtfully tell your own therapist how you’re doing! 

Determine realistic activism and volunteering limits. Consider manual labor, giving blood, helping a friend move, attending a protest, that sorta stuff. Our jobs are so sedentary but our minds are perpetually exhausted. 

Keep a balanced caseload, when possible! Trust your limits. Be very protective of your schedule and your days off!!!!!!  You are truly on your own journey, don’t waste precious energy on others progress. 

One Size Does Not Fit All- It’s ok if you’re not into meditation and massage and all things woo. Find your thing.

Create a ritual for ending your day. Visualize shedding away parts of your day- leave some in the therapy room, at the doorway of your workplace, at your parking space, etc.

Set modest, measureable goals for yourself. What achievements or milestones are between where you are at now and where you would like to be? Be very specific- i.e., “say the word suicide with a client without using a euphemism” or “end the session at :50 instead of :55 by warning clients at :45″) 

Spend time with non-therapists. Be mindful of too much shop talk with other therapists.

Find strength in your communities, especially if you are from a community that is not dominate in our society. 

[therapywithnisi]

PSA- Ikea is couples kryptonite. There is so much truth to that running joke. If you are seeing me solo or for couples therapy, eventually you will tell me about a fight you had at Ikea. And I will nod my head sagely and tell you that you never stood a chance.

[therapywithnisi]

People share the funniest sh*t their therapists have told them. Therapy's worth the cost.

The media gets a lot of things wrong. Fake news, amirite? (No, I am not "rite," they're doing their best, Mr. President.) One area where reality differs from things as seen on TV is in the world of therapy, where people are...

Words getting out that some of us are relatable and funny.... 

[infjadvice]

Credit: Ashley McMinn

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I wish someone had told me all these things when I was a confused, hurting teenager, so I am sharing them now. I hope they help someone the way they could have helped me.

[romanticnihilists]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

8 Tools for Managing your Anger

1. Learn to recognize when you are feeling stressed – This will help you to reduce your stress before it is expressed as destructive anger.

2. Work on developing your empathy – Trying to see things from another’s perspective often helps to dissipate intense emotions.

3. Decide to respond instead of react – Although the way we react often feels automatic, we can actually choose how we’ll think, feel and respond. This is empowering, and the road to freedom.

4. Change your self talk - Listen to the conversation in your head and learn to modify extreme, unbalanced thoughts. Look for exceptions to “you always” thinking, and reframe “you must” or “you should” demands.

5. Learn to be assertive – Honest and open communication about your wishes, needs and preferences can stop resentment building – so it doesn’t turn to anger.

6. Adjust your expectations – Often anger is triggered by a difference between our expectations and what we actually get. Thus, sometimes it is better to adjust our expectations so they’re more in line with reality.

7. Forgiving doesn’t also mean forgetting – Although it is healthy to sometimes let things go, that doesn’t mean we weren’t hurt, upset or offended. The difference is we’re choosing to move on with our lives, and we’re not being controlled by external events.

8. Remove yourself from the situation – Retreating temporarily or “taking time-out” provides some space to think about the “best thing to do”. Thus you maintain control of yourself and circumstances.

[isabella-study]

We really need to normalise exercising and eating well for reasons other than losing weight or building huge amounts of muscle. I’ve started going to the gym recently to relieve stress and help me sleep but despite the fact that I fit into shirts and skirts in size small, I’ve been asked if I’m trying to lose weight numerous times. 

Here’s a list of non-aesthetic reasons to exercise:

relieves stress

keeps you healthy

improves sleep

can have a positive effect on mental health

makes you stronger and fitter

something to focus on other than work/school/uni

IT’S RECOMMENDED AS PART OF A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

[pdlcomics]

New Stuff

[gentle-reminder]

gentle reminder

it doesn’t matter how much someone else can do - whatever you can do right now is enough, and i’m so proud of you for being able to do it

[getmotivatedtoday]

[thereschocolateonmykeyboard]

Reminder for fellow spoonies:

If you need medication, now is the time to check if you have enough to last you into the new year. If you don’t, try to get a refill this upcoming week, as your doctors office might not be open between Christmas and the new year. If you can’t get your meds refilled before Christmas, make sure you know what days your doctor is available to get your presctiption during the next two weeks.

[spoonie-living]

Yes! Don’t let your brain fog get the better of you.

[spoonie-living]

That time of year again. Best wishes for a safe and medicated holiday and aftermath.

[katimorton]

Kati, how can I overcome the anxiety I feel about going to therapy? Ask all questions before you even make an appt or go to an appt Questions about payment and insurance (do they take cash, checks or only cards?), where can you park, what paperwork you will need to fill out, how long the session is, and if you need to prepare anything. 1. Make time for it. I know that goes without saying, but what I really mean is, don’t plan something right after it or even right before it. Give yourself plenty of time to find your way to their office and give yourself time after to calm down, (and if you’re like me) to stop crying. 2. Visualize it! I know this sounds crazy, but our brains don’t know the difference between us visualizing ourselves doing something, and actually doing it. So take 20 minutes and sit down, close your eyes, and visualize yourself driving to your appt, parking, walking in, filling out paperwork, etc. 3. Write out what you want to get out of therapy, and bring it with you. We often forget things in the moment, especially when we are nervous. So take notes about your symptoms, what’s bothering you most, and what goals you would like to set. This will not only ensure that you don’t forget important things, but also help your therapist put together a treatment plan. 4. And finally, know that you are in control. It is your choice whether you want to keep seeing this therapist or if you think they are a good fit for you. If you don’t like them, or they don’t listen to you when you speak, you don’t have to go back. Period. PRE-ORDER MY BOOK TODAY! http://bit.ly/2s0mULy

[oceanum-cessabit]

[nocturnepage]

Study + Tea + Guinea Piggie ❤

[amargedom]

Daily reminder.