You're not lost. You're here.

🌇 Mika | 26 y/o | he/they 🌇 Searching for myself after years of complex trauma. Diagnosed with DID, C-PTSD, Depression, an ED and Autism. Recovering addict. I use this blog to document my recovery, find comfort in poetry and nature and to connect with other people. I'm trans (on T since November 2022, 06.09.2024 top surgery 🏳️‍🌈) and bi. All personal posts are tagged as #personal posts. Asks are always welcome.

[there-will-be-a-way]

About 🏳️‍🌈🌲🏞

My name is Mika and I'm a trans masc person in my twenties (he/him or they/them). I live in a living group for mentally ill people in Germany. I've been in therapy ever since I was 14 and am diagnosed with C-PTSD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Depression, an ED and Autism. I'm a recovering addict (alcohol and weed).

My interests include keeping houseplants, gaming, writing, reading and making art.

I've experienced a lot of different kinds of trauma in my life such as neglect and abuse which I'm trying to recover from. On this blog I talk about my healing journey and whatever's going on in my life. I'm not interested in participating in any kind of discourse as this is my place of peace and comfort that I always come back to ✌🏻 Please stay away from my blog if you violate human rights or spread hate. Other than that, I'm always happy to chat or answer asks. 💌

Introduction to my parts

[thoughtcascades]

People always ask, Why are you so quiet? Like bro, if you heard the conversations I'm having in my head, you'd stay quiet too.

[blossoms-phan]

no one is there for you like the music you listened to at your lowest point in high school

[blossoms-phan]

no one is there for you like the music you listened to at your lowest point in high school

[weltenwellen]

Victoria Chang, Obit

[weltenwellen]

Chen Chen, Your Emergency Contact Has Experienced an Emergency

[brightdeadthing]

love as recognition

anna gavalda / friedrich nietzsche / clarice lispector / jandy nelson / rebecca perry / mhairi mcfarlane

[lupusbaby]

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[surfeit-of-stoats]

People finding out what happened is all [Emmanuelle]'s ever wanted. Sometimes, we want only to tell our story and have someone listen. We must know that on this earth, what happens to us matters; otherwise, what tethers us to the living?

— Model Home, Rivers Solomon

[yms1]

You deserve the patience u give to so many others

[the-hearth-and-the-wild]

You are like a lantern swathed and covered, hidden away in a dark place. Yet the light shines; they could not put out the light. They could not hide you.

Ursula K. Le Guin, The Tombs of Atuan

[sunsetquotes]

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[soundcarvings]

if you are a true giver then the giving will always feel like receiving. The point is not to see oneself as a giver, but to see oneself as simply a witness of this world. The more you witness, the more you give, the more your spirit expands.

[cheruib]

every time i feel like i haven’t done enough things to be proud of myself during the day there’s the voice of louise glück that emerges softly in my ears and says if you missed a day there’s always the next and if you missed a year it didn’t matter the hills weren’t going anywhere the thyme and rosemary kept coming back.. and i feel like life is beautiful and kind to me again

[there-will-be-a-way]

I just got my first T shot after having my ovaries and uterus removed. Praying to the trans gods I will get double the beard hairs now 🙏🏻 Also, I just took some pictures of me shirtless because my friend wanted nudes (don't ask, we have the weirdest relationship lol) and I look so manly man. With my little beard and my tiddies gone. (Also, my friend said that my surgery results look perfect and that I really made a dream come true, so cute)

[there-will-be-a-way]

Forever wondering what comes after infinity. My brain just can't comprehend it. But it would be even more fucked up if there was an end to the universe because what would come after the end??? And if the universe is endless, there has to be life on other planets. When you think about how numbers are infinite too, like how there are endless numbers even between one and two, there has to be an earth.6828299 and an earth.6524829 if you know what I mean. There has to be another version of me in another galaxy that lives my life except -1. And are there places where time and space are thin? I think so.

[borderlinereminders]

Pick the one you need to hear. And if it’s multiple, pick the one you need to hear the most.

You aren’t faking your disorder.

It’s okay to have bad days. It doesn’t erase your progress.

You aren’t a failure for struggling.

You deserve credit for the progress you’ve made.

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.

You don’t need to recover to be worthy. You are worthy now, as you are.

You are enough.

You are deserving of love and compassion.

It’s okay to make mistakes. And it’s okay to forgive yourself for them.

You’re going to make it.

Keep going. I believe in you.

See results.

Voting ended onOct 26, 2024

You deserve to hear any and all of the ones you want. 🩷