👑💍DA BEST

(asks open!) mercenary, life coach, bounty hunter and the best bitch you'll ever meet!

[thereaaalharleen]

((let's get out of character for a second, hi! I'm cheese! (Main blog is @cheesebrackers ) This blog is a fun little thing I made to roleplay as Harley Quinn on tumblr

This Harley Quinn is based off a bunch of versions, but she's mostly my version! I have my own au, ysee?

Some info about her:

She/her bisexual, out of her old harlequin costume but decided to keep the hat.

This Harley is 100% friends with Joker, but will in no way ever consider dating him again. She's in with Ivy, finds friendship in every rogue and yet always finds something to, tease them about.

She'd do anything for her hyenas, bud and lou.

In my own universe, I like to associate characters to candies, so call her popping candy, because she's sweet but will explode at any given moment! You figure out if that's good or bad!

Do not interact for the basic criteria, yanno, homophobiaaaa racismmmm blablabla you get it. Please do not interact if you play as Gotham Jervis, as he is 100% an incestuous groomer piece of shit!

Also I'd rather you don't Gotham-base roleplay with me, as my Harley really does not fit the Gotham fox show))

[mouse-posting]

I m rollin around and eatin cheese and stuff

[thereaaalharleen]

So true little guy

[thereaaalharleen]

I'm awright with straight "people" as long as they don't hit on me 😑😝

[gl-kyle]

I'm not

[thereaaalharleen]

Kaaay? Dats a general statement, mister!

[gl-kyle]

Hey does everybody want tofucj* hal?

[guy-on-top]

[thereaaalharleen]

Obviously nawt

[thereaaalharleen]

I'm awright with straight "people" as long as they don't hit on me 😑😝

[thereaaalharleen]

Methinks glitter's hard to wash off because you're not supposed to. You spilled it well face the consequences of yer actions and get over it ya big baby

[clownprinceofballs]

sorry for being so inactive, everybody !!!!!! Bats and i were busy screwing each other for an entire month straight with zero breaks because it was June !!! WE ARE GAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 call me back please dude

[thereaaalharleen]

Riiiight.

[mystery-of-arkham-asylum]

Joker won't stop singing. The main annoying part is he's not singing in tune like he normally does. Plus it's almost midnight.

Let me sleep clown!

[thereaaalharleen]

Let her sing!

[315enygma311]

Good morning, followers! Riddle me this: What can you enter but cannot exit, has space without a room, and has keys but no notes?

UGGR PGW, WSOFR QXZGDQZGFL! NGXK KTVQKR? Q LTEKTZ: ZIT LEQKTEKGV OL EGDOFU.

Until next time!

[thereaaalharleen]

Oh oh oh! I heard that one before! A keyboard!

[thereaaalharleen]

Eaargh I'm bored already!

[thereaaalharleen]

Ivy is stilll sleeepiiing :( girl wake up I miss u

[thereaaalharleen]

Hey does anyone here knows superman personally? Like, does he hang out with people or is he on earth for the mere goal of stoppin' fun from happening?

[thereaaalharleen]

Who's Lois?

[315enygma311]

I have entered the tumblr. No one is safe.

[clownprinceofballs]

hey green boy, i have a riddle for you !!!!!!

my name is delicious but i taste not like fruit, i can neutralize fire and be quite unpredictable on foot

what am i ?????

[315enygma311]

Is it going to be something ridiculous? Like the cannibalistic sour patch kids? Or the vaguely worded riddle that ended in spider bite? Or pray tell one of your other god awful gags?

[clownprinceofballs]

noooo no no no, i promise you it's a good and proper riddle for the good and proper riddle man this time ((((o: do you want a hint ? i don't expect you'll be smart enough for this one to be completely honest !!!!

[315enygma311]

Not smart enough? Oh ho HO my soon-to-be-confounded-companion! I beg to differ! The OBVIOUS answer is some type of bug because they (similar to yourself) have an irritating and unpredictable nature.

[clownprinceofballs]

not specific enough, Watson !!!!! not to mention, bugs can be fairly predictable if you just look into them for more than 3 seconds (o: i guess it makes sense you wouldn't bother, though, seeing as how you're usually too busy making out with Mr. Half'n'Half)

[315enygma311]

You KNOW Harvey doesn't like it when people call him nicknames! It irritates him--and only I am allowed to irritate him! Besides, this is exactly what I mentioned earlier--this isn't a riddle! The point of a riddle is to draw confusion around something simple and common, create a looping labyrinth of pathways to a concise answer, one so easy and one worded that after you discover the truth you feel confounded and defeated. BUT THIS is just you showing off all the types of BUGS you like.

[clownprinceofballs]

JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER DOESN'T MEAN THE RIDDLE IS BAD !!!!!! this is the problem with you 'super genius' types, you think you always have to be the right one in the room regardless of whether or not you actually are )o: the riddle is perfectly simple enough, you just have to know the name of the bug and ONE common piece of information about it to get the answer right !!!!! do you want me to tell you what the bug is or are you gonna be all hissy about it again until you give up after 30 more incorrect answers ??

[315enygma311]

mAyBe iM jUsT bEtTeR aT riDDlEs tHaN yOu!! You see, the way I capitalized some of the letters despite the fact that grammatically, it makes no sense, is to convey a mocking tone. TLDR; I'M MOCKING YOU! You lack the basic understandings of a riddle, and twist it to your own silly needs. But since you insist, I've narrowed it down to a rasberry crazy ant.

[clownprinceofballs]

note to everyone reading this: Riddle Boy asked me behind the scenes what the answer was so he wouldn't look silly in public <\\\3 it's okay though, not everyone can know everything about bugs !!!!!!! especially ants !!!!!!!!!! i am happy to answer any bug questions i won't shut up about them i love bugs HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA seriously though it took you long enough

[315enygma311]

I DON'T--I DIDN'T-- (Joker delete that right now or I swear to god in my next trap I will aim to KILL Batman)

[clownprinceofballs]

you want Batsy's attention just as much as the rest of us, i might be crazy (ant) but i'm no fool !!!! or, well, not in the non-clown way, anyway

[315enygma311]

Oh please, Batman is just a tool! I'm using him to increase my popularity and follower base, and once I'm at the top? I'll dispose of him, and allow the world to see their true beckon of hope: the indestructible brainpower of the RIDDLER!

[clownprinceofballs]

the only tool i see is YOU !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

Says the man who gets HANDLED by the Bat on every available opportunity!

[clownprinceofballs]

that's bc he's HOT !!!!!!!! unlike your takes when it comes to the validity of riddles !!!! NERD !!!!!!

[315enygma311]

'That's because he's hot! Unlike your takes when it comes to the validity of riddles, nerd!' Try a little bit of grammar on for size, won't you, darling?

[clownprinceofballs]

the capitalization and extra exclamation marks are for higher EMPHASIS, sweetheart (o;

[315enygma311]

Don't you sweetheart me, sweetheart!

[clownprinceofballs]

don't sweetheart me, babygirl !!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

I despise you.

[clownprinceofballs]

"connect lips" ????? is that how you flirt with Harv ?? do you tell him you want to "copulate" ???? i feel almost TWICE as bad for the guy now

[315enygma311]

For your INFORMATION, he likes it when I offer him sensual coitus under the bright artificial stars of Gotham City.

[clownprinceofballs]

for YOUR information, i have had PLENTY of "coition" with the Bat !!!! you're just jealous Batman doesn't have to flip a coin to determine whether he should actually go through with it or not (o:

[315enygma311]

Getting beaten to a bloody pulp doesn’t count, masochist.

#Neither do your sick delusions or fantasies

[clownprinceofballs]

his fists aren't the only things that've touched me Mr. I Can't Tag Tumblr Posts Properly HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

Listen here, the swap from computer to mobile is jarring.

[clownprinceofballs]

almost as jarring as your casual use of the word coitus (and your complete ignorance on the topic of ant species) :oD

[thereaaalharleen]

Sorry, I wasn't gonna interrupt y'all's catfight, but what are you guys fighting about again?

[clownprinceofballs]

Ed is salty i know more about bugs than him and that Harv won't fuck him unless the coin lands on the right side

[315enygma311]

You know at least I didn’t lead a poor gal on and ruin her life simply because I was too afraid to come out of the closet.

[thereaaalharleen]

Gee we gettin personal? People talking about me? Don't mind if I watch!

[315enygma311]

I have entered the tumblr. No one is safe.

[clownprinceofballs]

hey green boy, i have a riddle for you !!!!!!

my name is delicious but i taste not like fruit, i can neutralize fire and be quite unpredictable on foot

what am i ?????

[315enygma311]

Is it going to be something ridiculous? Like the cannibalistic sour patch kids? Or the vaguely worded riddle that ended in spider bite? Or pray tell one of your other god awful gags?

[clownprinceofballs]

noooo no no no, i promise you it's a good and proper riddle for the good and proper riddle man this time ((((o: do you want a hint ? i don't expect you'll be smart enough for this one to be completely honest !!!!

[315enygma311]

Not smart enough? Oh ho HO my soon-to-be-confounded-companion! I beg to differ! The OBVIOUS answer is some type of bug because they (similar to yourself) have an irritating and unpredictable nature.

[clownprinceofballs]

not specific enough, Watson !!!!! not to mention, bugs can be fairly predictable if you just look into them for more than 3 seconds (o: i guess it makes sense you wouldn't bother, though, seeing as how you're usually too busy making out with Mr. Half'n'Half)

[315enygma311]

You KNOW Harvey doesn't like it when people call him nicknames! It irritates him--and only I am allowed to irritate him! Besides, this is exactly what I mentioned earlier--this isn't a riddle! The point of a riddle is to draw confusion around something simple and common, create a looping labyrinth of pathways to a concise answer, one so easy and one worded that after you discover the truth you feel confounded and defeated. BUT THIS is just you showing off all the types of BUGS you like.

[clownprinceofballs]

JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER DOESN'T MEAN THE RIDDLE IS BAD !!!!!! this is the problem with you 'super genius' types, you think you always have to be the right one in the room regardless of whether or not you actually are )o: the riddle is perfectly simple enough, you just have to know the name of the bug and ONE common piece of information about it to get the answer right !!!!! do you want me to tell you what the bug is or are you gonna be all hissy about it again until you give up after 30 more incorrect answers ??

[315enygma311]

mAyBe iM jUsT bEtTeR aT riDDlEs tHaN yOu!! You see, the way I capitalized some of the letters despite the fact that grammatically, it makes no sense, is to convey a mocking tone. TLDR; I'M MOCKING YOU! You lack the basic understandings of a riddle, and twist it to your own silly needs. But since you insist, I've narrowed it down to a rasberry crazy ant.

[clownprinceofballs]

note to everyone reading this: Riddle Boy asked me behind the scenes what the answer was so he wouldn't look silly in public <\\\3 it's okay though, not everyone can know everything about bugs !!!!!!! especially ants !!!!!!!!!! i am happy to answer any bug questions i won't shut up about them i love bugs HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA seriously though it took you long enough

[315enygma311]

I DON'T--I DIDN'T-- (Joker delete that right now or I swear to god in my next trap I will aim to KILL Batman)

[clownprinceofballs]

you want Batsy's attention just as much as the rest of us, i might be crazy (ant) but i'm no fool !!!! or, well, not in the non-clown way, anyway

[315enygma311]

Oh please, Batman is just a tool! I'm using him to increase my popularity and follower base, and once I'm at the top? I'll dispose of him, and allow the world to see their true beckon of hope: the indestructible brainpower of the RIDDLER!

[clownprinceofballs]

the only tool i see is YOU !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

Says the man who gets HANDLED by the Bat on every available opportunity!

[clownprinceofballs]

that's bc he's HOT !!!!!!!! unlike your takes when it comes to the validity of riddles !!!! NERD !!!!!!

[315enygma311]

'That's because he's hot! Unlike your takes when it comes to the validity of riddles, nerd!' Try a little bit of grammar on for size, won't you, darling?

[clownprinceofballs]

the capitalization and extra exclamation marks are for higher EMPHASIS, sweetheart (o;

[315enygma311]

Don't you sweetheart me, sweetheart!

[clownprinceofballs]

don't sweetheart me, babygirl !!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

I despise you.

[clownprinceofballs]

"connect lips" ????? is that how you flirt with Harv ?? do you tell him you want to "copulate" ???? i feel almost TWICE as bad for the guy now

[315enygma311]

For your INFORMATION, he likes it when I offer him sensual coitus under the bright artificial stars of Gotham City.

[clownprinceofballs]

for YOUR information, i have had PLENTY of "coition" with the Bat !!!! you're just jealous Batman doesn't have to flip a coin to determine whether he should actually go through with it or not (o:

[315enygma311]

Getting beaten to a bloody pulp doesn’t count, masochist.

#Neither do your sick delusions or fantasies

[clownprinceofballs]

his fists aren't the only things that've touched me Mr. I Can't Tag Tumblr Posts Properly HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[315enygma311]

Listen here, the swap from computer to mobile is jarring.

[clownprinceofballs]

almost as jarring as your casual use of the word coitus (and your complete ignorance on the topic of ant species) :oD

[thereaaalharleen]

Sorry, I wasn't gonna interrupt y'all's catfight, but what are you guys fighting about again?

[thereaaalharleen]

Hey da gays are fighting on this app again

[thereaaalharleen]

Argh I think I left my keychain at the iceberg lounge! Da shiny cherries one :(

[clownprinceofballs]

i'd go check for you but i was banned for a week after i made a joke about Penguin's mother being FOWL in bed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[thereaaalharleen]

They banned ya for that? I made a guy fly to da wall last time! Well maybe it's because he was lookin at me n ive weird, Ion't like white men lurking

[315enygma311]

I'd go in for you, alas I cannot, due to the fact that: 1. Oswald will have me hung by my ankles and burned in front of the audience. 2. I am far too busy and far too important to run errands. 3. I just placed my doordash order and I need to stay here to make sure he survives all of the death traps awaiting him at the entrance to my lair. If he survives, I get my food! If he dies, I don't have to pay, and I receive entertainment plus the knowledge of my infinite superiority.

[thereaaalharleen]

Thaaaat sure is a lotta traps for a delivery guy

And if he doesn't succeed, d'you just not eat anything?

[315enygma311]

If he doesn't succeed, I order another one! My stomach may be empty, but my mind is full. And I ordered childlike wonder encased in an airtight pocket, submerged under tea and cream. Alongside it, of Southeast Asian origin, a delightful dish of noodles and fry. What is it?

[thereaaalharleen]

Hey if he dies on da way, can ya take the opportunity to get me a cherry shake? Ivy is asleep and Ion't wanna bother her for it right now!

[315enygma311]

I don't run errands!!! But my goons do. I'll send Craig out.

[thereaaalharleen]

Ur da best!

[thereaaalharleen]

Argh I think I left my keychain at the iceberg lounge! Da shiny cherries one :(

[clownprinceofballs]

i'd go check for you but i was banned for a week after i made a joke about Penguin's mother being FOWL in bed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[thereaaalharleen]

They banned ya for that? I made a guy fly to da wall last time! Well maybe it's because he was lookin at me n ive weird, Ion't like white men lurking

[315enygma311]

I'd go in for you, alas I cannot, due to the fact that: 1. Oswald will have me hung by my ankles and burned in front of the audience. 2. I am far too busy and far too important to run errands. 3. I just placed my doordash order and I need to stay here to make sure he survives all of the death traps awaiting him at the entrance to my lair. If he survives, I get my food! If he dies, I don't have to pay, and I receive entertainment plus the knowledge of my infinite superiority.

[thereaaalharleen]

Thaaaat sure is a lotta traps for a delivery guy

And if he doesn't succeed, d'you just not eat anything?

[315enygma311]

If he doesn't succeed, I order another one! My stomach may be empty, but my mind is full. And I ordered childlike wonder encased in an airtight pocket, submerged under tea and cream. Alongside it, of Southeast Asian origin, a delightful dish of noodles and fry. What is it?

[thereaaalharleen]

Hey if he dies on da way, can ya take the opportunity to get me a cherry shake? Ivy is asleep and Ion't wanna bother her for it right now!