hi mae:) would you be willing to write a sirius x reader fic where reader just gets hammered and spills all of her family trauma to sirius? like, she’s no longer in that environment because she moved out but they were just really mean and terrible to her and she’s never told sirius but then she finally does and he’s just like “poor baby, let me tell you all of the love and reassurance you never got as a child:(“
Thanks for requesting lovely <3
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 634 words
You worry you’ve traumatized your boyfriend.
Sirius has you tucked firmly under his chin, both arms squishing you to his front, and you’re not sure if the rocking is for you or him or possibly both.
“Sirius,” you murmur, some of the vowels lost due to your malfunctioning tongue. “Baby, m’sorry.”
“What’re you sorry for?” Your boyfriend’s voice sounds thin. He’s had a bit less to drink than you, but his words still sound like they’re written in cursive, strung together by thick emotion. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
You sigh. It feels nice, being cocooned in his warmth like this. He’s squeezing you just tight enough to be comfortable, and he smells more like himself than like rum. Your next inhale, you focus on it. Clove and nighttime.
“I shouldn’t’ve dumped on you like this,” you admit.
“Yes you should have.” Sirius’ lips press firmly to the top of your head. “Sweetheart, I only wish you’d told me sooner. Why didn’t you?”
His sympathy is bringing you dangerously close to tears again. Your first wave has only just dried. “Because I know it’s a lot,” you say, attempting to swallow the blockage in your throat. “S’not like you don’t have your own family shit to deal with. And anyway, I moved out.”
“Baby.” Sirius sounds devastated. “I don’t care what shit I have, it doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear about yours, too. I always do.” His fingers bunch in the fabric of your top, short nails scratching lightly against the skin underneath. “And I know better than fucking anyone that moving out helps, but it doesn’t fix everything. It can—you can still hurt.”
Where Sirius’ chin touches your forehead, you feel a hot tear drip onto your skin. A pained sound slips from your throat as you pull away from him, taking his face between your hands.
And you’d expected him to look upset, mournful even, but Sirius looks livid. Every sharp angle of his beautiful face is wrathful, silent tears gleaming on his cheeks and dark brows lowered over stormcloud eyes. His hands stay bunched in your top as if he means to keep you tethered to him by sheer force of will.
“You’re good,” he tells you, voice quavering with conviction. “You’re lovely, and kind, and more than enough. Got it?”
“Sirius,” you whisper, brushing some of the wetness from his cheeks. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he insists. Some of the harshness has waned from his expression, though, under your gentle touch. “Nobody should ev—” His voice splinters, and Sirius looks frustrated with himself. You want to roll the both of you up in the comforter of your bed and never come out. “Should ever treat their kid that way,” he finishes. He looks you in your eyes, fierce in his earnestness. “I’m gonna love you so hard those fuckers will regret not giving it to you sooner.”
Though you try to stop it, a corner of your mouth tips up. “I love you, too, baby. You can love me as hard as you want.”
“Oh, fuck you.” He cracks a smile at your salacious tone. You stop trying to hold back the rest of your grin, and he grabs your face in both hands, smashing his lips to yours.
The kiss is firm but not harsh, so fond it makes your heart feel like a bruise. Sirius moves to your forehead next.
“My baby,” he says against your skin, both amused and ardent. Drops his forehead to yours. “I’m gonna make up for it. I’m gonna give you everything you never got back then. Do you have any idea how much I love you, sweet thing?”
“I love you, too,” you promise him, pushing against his forehead lightly with your own. “Don’t worry, you already make up for everything.”
could you do a remus x reader blurb where he’s comforting the reading after they had a hard day?
your wish is my command ! thank you very much for requesting <3
He can hear you crying in the shower. He doesn't realise at first what's happening, only the sharp spray of water and the reverberating clicks of your shampoo bottle being opened and closed.
Remus frowns and startles away from his desk, knocking at the bathroom door, slightly frantic. He says your name without thinking, all filled up with panic, listens as your weeping suddenly stops. He knocks again.
"Sweetheart?"
"What?" you call, voice rough with emotion.
"Can I come in?"
A small silence where he considers opening the door anyways when you agree, so quietly he confuses it for the spray. "Yeah," you repeat.
He pushes open the door, finds you kneeling in the spray with suds in your hair and red-rimmed eyes. He sits by the side of the bathtub, gaze imploring, and offers his hand to you, palm up over your thigh. You accept and he watches with relief as the tension eases from your body.
The tears begin anew before he's spoken, quiet, slipping down your cheeks hot and fresh and cutting through the soap you've managed to get over one unhappy cheek.
"Hey," he chides gently, panicking and trying his very best not to show it.
"I'm sorry," you say, voice cracking, cleaving the word sorry into two heartbreaking syllables.
"For what, honey?" he asks, shower spray only somewhat managing to hide the desperate fondness in his words.
Your face changes at his pet name. You come into yourself, despondent stare clearing long enough to wipe your thumb over his knuckles familiarly.
"For crying?" he hedges, shuffling forward, the lip of the tub pressing cruelly into his armpit.
You shrug. Another fat tear arcs over your skin. He frowns, stands, gutted at your lost expression when he takes his hand back.
"Let me wash you off. Can I finish your hair?"
You nod. He tilts your head back with a finger under your chin, leaning down with the shower head in his hand. He washes the remaining soap from your hair, runs his hand through your hair and finds comfort in the peaceful expression that settles over your face.
He puts the showerhead in the bottom of the tub and turns it off, grabs a towel to wrap you in and helps you out of the bathroom. Though you hardly need it, he can't help but imagine your aching knees from being folded up at the bottom of the bath.
"Here, baby, you sit here," he says, pushing you back onto the linens.
"I'm wet," you croak.
"Never mind that," he says, brushing the back of his hand over your face and smiling like it's all one big joke, hoping to cheer you up and missing by a mile. You don't smile back and he gives it up, wrapping a second towel over your wet shoulders before sitting beside you.
He hopes his quiet will encourage you to share. You pinch loose threads between your fingers and chew your lip and he sees how this was a misguided thought, slipping his arm around your back to plant his hand on your thigh, pulling you close to his side. Your head falls instantly against his chest, and he realises you need comfort rather than space.
He dots a first kiss against your temple before leaning his cheek against your hair, not caring in the slightest about his getting wet.
"Tell me what's wrong?" he asks, pleads, begs.
You take a big trembling breath and thread your arms around his back and over his abdomen, squeezing him tightly enough to leave fingertip bruises. He hugs you back just as tightly.
"You've had a hard day, yeah?" he asks.
You nod, a little choked sob falling from your lips pressed against his ribs.
He moves his hand in a hopefully soothing motion up and down the length of your spine. "Don't, baby," he murmurs, hands moving to grasp your shoulder, your face tenderly as your body shudders from the force of your crying. "Please don't cry. You're breaking my heart."
You steal one of your hands back to wipe your face unkindly, seemingly frustrated with yourself. He catches the hand and squeezes your fingers with the barest pressure, pulling back so he can wipe your tears himself with a much more patient hand.
You move back in turn, lips pouting, eyes swimming and missing your usual warmth.
"Wanna tell me what's wrong? Please," he tacks on.
You frown and won't meet his eyes. "Only a hard day like you said," you admit finally, voice wobbling.
"Hey, I'm sorry," he says gently. "Cry if you want to, alright? I can see you holding your breath."
You let loose a breath reluctantly, the exhale coloured by a sound close to a whimper.
"Oh, my girl," he says, pulling you to his chest again. You're desperate for the embrace, pushing as tightly in his hold as you can, leg closest to him coming over his thighs. He slips a hand under both of your thighs and pulls you into his lap, content to hold you all night if it'll slow the tears.
He rubs the length of your upper arm with his hand, broad enough to encapsulate your chilly skin easily.
"Sorry, Remus," you say into his shirt.
"Don't be," he says firmly. "You realise, this moment, this is something I'm happy to do. Not-" he clarifies, "that I ever want my girl to be so hopelessly upset." He sways you a little from side to side in another hopeful ploy. "If you wanna lie there all night then that's what we'll do," he says, craning his neck to the side to peer at your face. "I only want you to be okay."
"I love you," you whisper, hands grasped loosely in the material of his shirt.
His hands pause. He smiles to himself softly, pushes little strands of hair down flat on your face with the pad of his marriage finger. "I love you," he says.
"Even on the hard days?" you ask, a terrible hopelessness in your voice. He hugs you like he's trying to squeeze it out of you.
a/n: I literally wrote this in like an hour because I wanted to post something for New Years. So enjoy my rushed writing skills! This gif is also my reaction if one were to ask me if this fic was good lol. (Repost bc tags were broken)
word count: 1.2k
The night of New Years Eve was always a huge and joyous celebration, as is the Potter way. All of the Marauders’ parents came to the party, except for Sirius’ parents as they were all too busy shoving sticks up each other’s arses. But James, Remus, and Peter’s parents came every year and often used that night to let loose and get as rowdy and mischievous as the Marauders themselves.
🌾 drabble with remus x reader ?? will you do enemies to lovers with some angst and sexual tension
hi! tried my best, hope it's alright!
Remus Lupin was infuriating - truly, he drove you so mad you felt blind with it sometimes. It had been years since Hogwarts, years since him and his idiot friends had made your life a misery, along with loads of others in your year. Of course, perfect Remus rarely got in trouble, and even rarer did he take responsibility for his actions. You didn't care, had moved on from it, and still they were finding ways to make your life difficult.
You worked part time at the Leaky Cauldron for pocket money whilst you were continuing your studies, and Remus Lupin and his terrible friends were always hanging around.
Last week, they'd charmed the coffee grounds to grow legs, leaving little brown footsteps all over the kitchen and bar. The week before that, James Potter had been carrying what you assumed to be his young son in a swaddle and it had turned out to be a nixie, which he set free 'accidentally'. The week before that, there had been mudcrabs in the toilets. You couldn't prove that one had been them, but you had your theories.
This week, you were working at the bar. Conversation with Remus was the hardest of the three marauders for you, and you could never pinpoint why - maybe because he looked a picture of innocent, face halo'd by his light brown hair that looked brushed-cotton soft. You struggled to say anything other than how can I help you, that's 3 sickles and 5 nuts, is there anything else I can get you, thank you so much. He made you horribly frustrated because his expression said that he knew exactly why you found it difficult to talk to him and the reason why was funny to him.
He was giving you his infuriating smile now. When you asked him if there was anything else you could get him in your monotonous voice, eyes barely constrained from glaring, he paused and leaned forward.
"You look so cross," he teased. He did this every now and then, steering away from the torturous politeness you were required to give him and into dangerous territory.
"I am cross," you told him. "You and your stupid friends turned the tap water purple."
You hadn't meant to come across so affronted so quickly, but something about his face irked you.
He frowned. "My stupid friends did not."
"They did too."
"Did not!" he disagreed, looking just as cross as you had at the start of the conversation.
"They totally did, and you get to stand there all cool and collected and feeling good about yourself because you didn't help, but you still let them do it!"
He leaned forward on his elbow, moving the drink you'd just poured for him out of the way. "Well, don't you have it all figured out, doll."
You scowled at him. "I know this is all one big joke to you, but it's my job. And you marauders," you said this with scorn, "aren't actually funny, you're just mean."
"Us marauders are hardly doing anything malicious. The tap water will be back to normal by tomorrow," he assured you, smarted.
"Why did the tap water need to be purple in the first place?" you shouted, leaning into the bar.
His pupils were blown. "To make you laugh! Godric, if you used half the brain you had at school, you would've realised by now why we keep coming here!"
"And why do you keep coming here?" you asked, half angry and half wretchedly curious.
He was in your space, suddenly, nose what could have only been 2 inches from your own. "This is why I keep telling them it's a bad idea."
"I don't speak riddle."
"No, I suppose you don't."
You sighed, turning your head away from him. "I have things to-"
He turned your face by the chin. Had he been any shorter, the distance between you would've felt much too big. As it was, he could easily lean over the bar and be an inch from your face. Your heart was beating so loudly you swore he could hear it himself.
You swallowed, looking down at his lips.
"The Leaky Cauldron," he said, voice steady, "is the worst pub in London. Hell, in South England. You really can't think of a reason why me and my stupid friends keep coming back?"
You looked up and met his eyes. You were still angry, so angry, but he was handsome, and his hand on your face was warm. "No," you said quietly, shocked into stillness.
"No? You can't think of a single reason?"
You shook your head. The movement couldn't have been more than a millimetre, but he caught it.
"I don't let my friends do anything. I've planned every mishap that's happened since you started working here. The exploding lights, the coffee grounds, the 'haunting' and the - the bleeding nixie, they were all me."
"Why?" you asked, voice measured. His throat bobbed, and he leaned in so close that you felt his exhale on your parted lips. he said nothing for a moment, as if daring you to move. When you didn't, he only smirked.
"I like how you look when you're angry," he said quietly, voice silky smooth.
He pulled away none too gently, turned away from you before his hand had left your skin, leaving you slack-jawed and woozy for a ten second period. By the time you'd collected yourself he was already sitting with his friends again, and you could see his back was still tense.
You brought your hand up to the skin that he'd just been touching and frowned at the butterflies it had given you before collecting yourself in a hurry, grabbing the empty cup he'd left behind in exchange for his new one.
There was a yellow post-it note stuck to the bottom. You lifted it up above you to read what it said, eyebrows drawing together. It was a telephone number, signed with a crescent moon.
You pulled the post-it note off the cup and slammed the cup down on the counter, pushing the crinkled paper into your pocket, furious with yourself.
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: Jealousy, toxicity if you squint your eyes.
A/N: Please let me know what you think! Your comments and reblogs make me young and motivated ;)
Want to know when I post the next part? Add yourself to my taglist!
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
“Really!?” You asked, suddenly feeling all the tension in your body being lifted from you and your shoulders dropped from their squared up posture. Professor McGonagall limited herself to chuckle softly as her eyes shone with something you rarely saw on her, something you couldn’t name.
“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.” she assured you, taking her glasses from her nose as she looked in your direction with her full attention placed on you. “Your work was definitely one of the best in the class. I must say I am not surprised, you have always been a bright student, and to accomplish this by yourself has left me nothing but satisfied with you as my student.”
You beamed as she handed you the scroll of parchment back, her neat handwriting showing proudly your grade to whoever looked in its direction. “Thank you, professor.” you said with a smile.
“Go on, now.” she said with the wave of her hand. “Enjoy your summer, Miss Y/L/N.”
“You too, professor.” you wished her, skipping your way out of the classroom, clutching the parchment in your hands and against your chest. Getting ahead of where all the students stood chatting carelessly as they all got out of their last classes for the year, you turned left and right, looking for a space where no one could see you or hear you. Finally, you found a small corridor that was practically abandoned, one Peter and Remus had showed you one night while getting away from Mr. Filch on your way to the kitchens. You got the parchment extended before you, reading over all the writing you had done and that made you believe you would lose your hand in the middle of writing a word, pride flooding out of your pores and shining through your smile as you squealed, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from screaming. You couldn’t contain your excitement as you jumped up and down in your place, using a little too much force as your hands crumpled the paper in your hands. “Oh.” you muttered, laughing nervously as the sound of parchment being crushed under your fingers reached your ears.
You smoothed the parchment, lifting your head and looking in both directions of the narrowed corridor. Taking the direction that led to the entrance of the castle, you almost crashed against at least two people on your way down, rushing down the stairs as you stopped right on the entrance, the cold marble stairs almost calling your name as you stared deeply at them and the direction they led. Your head snapped out of the wandering thoughts as you remembered that you had someone always waiting for you. Your boyfriend.
It has become a more common thought in you, to think of him as your boyfriend and not just Sirius. As someone you could go to for the silliest of things or the most serious topics that plagued your mind and he would listen to you, and that you would do the same.
You rushed to the Great Hall, fitting your body in between all the people that walked in the opposite direction, avoiding to fall down and emerging from the crowd of people just before the tall arch of the door. You smiled, moving to the right side of the room and to the Gryffindor table, your feet moving faster than you could control them until you got to the small crowded area where they always sat. You were about to call Sirius’s name when your eyes fell on him, the back of his head facing you as well as wavy dark hair. Your footsteps faltered, your hand dropping to your side as you took more careful and silent steps towards him. No one seemed to notice your arrival. Good. You wanted to see the look on his face when he turned to look at you.
“What are you doing during the summer, Sirius?” she asked, resting her cheek on top of her palm as she leaned on the table, turning her body towards him.
Sirius shrugged, throwing something in James’ direction “Not much.” he answered “I’m always with Prongs, might spend some time with Peter and Remus too.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, the bitter smile threatening to appear on your lips winning the fight against you. You had never felt this way before, a churning feeling in your stomach and a fire that covered all your skin, especially your hands, taking over you as she threw her arm around Sirius’ shoulders.
“We should hang out sometime.” she suggested, a light smirk on her lips quickly wiped as her eyes fell on you. She suddenly sat back down on the wooden bench, her arm dropping behind Sirius. Your gaze stayed on her for a moment, a smile too bright for it to be genuine making its way in your face as it finally dropped with the menacing look on your face. Sirius had seemed to finally finish his rambling, turning with a confused look on his face towards the girl who didn’t answer to then follow her eyes, his face lighting up as he saw you there.
“There you are!” he said happily, standing from his seat as he kissed your cheek quickly. You just stared at him, arms crossed over your chest as you made no move to kiss him, a tight smile on your face. “I was about to go look for you, see if Minnie was still standing after grading your project. How did it go?” he asked, pulling you to sit next to him, right in between him and the girl who seemed unable to move.
“Great.” you said shortly, taking a deep breath as you gathered your hands in your lap “But I do have some other things to do before the day is over,” you told him, standing from where he had dragged you to sit “Besides, I wouldn’t want to interrupt, you seemed rather busy.” you said, looking between them as the smile never left your face.
Sirius frowned, his eyes tuning to the girl “Emma and I were just saying our goodbyes.” he said, throwing his arm around her shoulders as he smiled. You nodded your head a little too enthusiastically, placing your hand on his shoulder with a soft squeeze from you “I'll see tonight?” he asked, standing from where he sat as he reached his hand to hold yours, making you stop in your tracks.
You purse your lips, tilting your head as you ran your tongue over your teeth, turning in his direction “Astronomy tower.” you confirmed with a nod, your eyes moving briefly over James who had a wide eyed look on his face as he stared at you. Sirius said something but you didn’t hear it, letting go of his hand as you turned in your place, your hands closed into fists as you marched out of the Great Hall.
You knew your relationship with Sirius had gone too smoothly. Something finally had burst you out of your made up bubble.
*******
Remus Lupin had an ability to be at the wrong places at the worst possible hours. His last day at Hogwarts for the fifth year was no exception as he sat next to Peter in the kitchens. The loud sounds of hands hitting the table enough freeze him and his friend in place as they munched over the freshly baked treats sitting in front of them.
“I’m over reacting, right?” you asked, getting your hands deep into the dough for the next batch of cookies you were preparing.
Peter had noticed you had a routine of going to the kitchens to bake when you felt stressed out or needed to let your emotions flow. That’s how he had found himself countless nights since he had met you there, sitting by your side as you rambled and he listened, with the advantage of getting the first try at everything you prepared. He knew he could count on Remus to go get some after dinner treats if he caught him in the right mood, however he never thought about the small detail that your emotions and rambles now included his best friend.
They both smiled tightly, holding cookies on their hands as they nibbled on the soft texture. “You’re definitely not overreacting.” Peter was quick to say. When Remus didn’t answer he turned to him, seeing him lost in a piece of chocolate you had handed him the moment you saw enter the kitchen. “Right?” Peter asked through gritted teeth, pushing his shoulder against Remus’.
“Right.” Remus said automatically, not even registering what he just agreed to as he took a bite from his chocolate, his eyes dancing between Peter and you. You started to mumble to yourself, maneuvering the dough with your hands as you moved your attention from the two boys before you. “What did you get ourselves into?” Remus whispered in Peter’s direction, a little panic dripping from his voice as his eyes remained on you.
“I didn’t know she was mad at Sirius.” Peter defended himself, whispering as desperately as Remus did “What did he do?” Remus turned to face Peter, shrugging his shoulders as he turned at you. “Y/N.” he called, making you raise your head with a frown set deep in your face. “What exactly did Sirius do?”
You groaned, letting your shoulders fall as you threw your head back “See, I am overreacting.” you said in defeat “He was talking to one of his friends, but they were too close and all over each other.”
“You mean Marlene?” asked Peter, making you tilt your head.
“No, I know Marlene, this is another girl.”
“Dorcas.” Remus added with a confident nod.
“Nope.”
Peter shared a look with Remus “Mary?” he asked hesitantly.
“I know Mary, this wasn’t her.” you said, they opened their mouths to talk but you cut them off “It also wasn’t Alice or Lily.”
“Well, shit.” Remus mumbled after a while, getting Peter to lower his face as they all stayed silent.
“I mean, he is allowed to have friends. I just didn’t know that he would treat his friends the same way he treats me, you know? I’m surprised, that’s it.”
“I know another word.” Remus said after a minute of silence.
You dropped the tray that you held in your hands, a menacing smile on your face as you met his eyes “Don’t you dare say it, Remus Lupin.”
“You’re in denial, then.” he said trumphly, leaning back against the wall.
“I am not.” you said back, raising your eyebrows as you continued mindlessly preparing the last of your cookies “And I’m also not jealous.” you stated, very proud of being able to say it out loud.
But Peter and Remus’ giggles brought you back from your own head “That’s not how it looks from here.” Peter mumbled.
“Your eye is almost twitching.” Remus added, making Peter’s laughter grow more and more.
You groaned even more, letting your head fall on your hands as you laughed sadly against your palms “I hate you two.” you grumbled, lifting your head to see them laughing harder at your miserable state “And I hate your stupid friend.” you added, throwing a piece of dough in their direction.
Remus’ quick reflexes allowed him to dodge it, making it land on the wall behind him. “We love you too, Y/N.” he said, Peter agreeing shortly after.
“Sadly for you, she’s got a boyfriend.” Sirius said, a wide smile on his face as he threw his arm over your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at him, shaking yourself out of his hold as you moved to the oven, missing the hurt look on your boyfriend.
You heard the low whistles behind you, the soft rumble of Peter and Remus jumping off the counter as they moved “That's our cue to leave.” Peter murmured, reaching his hand across the counter to grab something for him.
“Good luck, Pads.” Remus said firmly, patting his back as he stood on the door next to him “You’ll need it.” Two soft pats on his shoulder and he was out of the kitchen, Peter following close behind him as he whispered his goodbyes to you.
You wished them both goodnight, getting the last trays inside the oven. You humming being the only sound that could be heard over the silence, Sirius staring at you carefully and with caution.
“You’re upset.” he finally said.
You sat down, patiently waiting on the cookies to cool as you stared up at him “What makes you say that?” you asked.
He chuckled nervously, pointing around him “This is not the astronomy tower, for starters.”
You nodded slowly “Good observation, it is actually in the opposite direction. Far away from everything and everyone.” you said harshly, noticing how he got even more tense.
“See, your tone also hints to me that you're more than upset.” he added.
“Not at all. I was just keeping myself busy, you know, in case you needed more time to say goodbye to your friend Emma.” you spat, scrunching your nose as you laid your palms flat on the table.
Sirius had the nerve to raise his eyebrows, letting out a bright scoff as he smiled “That’s what got you in such a bad mood?”
Your jaw dropped, eyes wide as you looked everywhere around you before your hand settled on a spoon at your right. “As if it’s nothing!” you squeaked in disbelief as you threw the spoon at him. He had no problem catching the cold metal right before it hit his chest, his hand wrapped around the handle as he lifted his gaze in your direction with a challenging look.
“Jealous much?” he murmured with amusement as he dropped the spoon on the hard wood of the table, lifting his chin in your direction.
You tilted your head, licking your lips as you nodded your head. “Two can play this game, Black.” you said with a smile “See how you like it when Ronan walks me to each and every single one of my classes, while holding my hand and carrying my bag.”
That erased all smugness from his face, making him frown as his knuckles turned white on his hold on the edge of the table “Who the fuck is Ronan?” he asked.
“I guess you’ll have to find out while walking through the hallways next year.”
That seemed to do the trick.
“Don’t you dare.” he said suddenly, walking in your direction as he reached his hand in your direction. You narrowed your eyes at him, taking his hand with hesitation before he secured his grasp around your hand, pulling you towards him. “I’m sorry.” he murmured on the side of your head, placing a kiss on your temple “I won’t let anyone touch me ever again unless it’s you, I promise.”
You laughed at that, snaking your arms around his middle “We both know you wouldn’t survive a day without physical touch.”
“You’ll have to make sure I survive then.”
“I’ll make sure you survive.” you mumbled, resting your chin over his shoulder as he sat on the table.
“You’re cute when you're jealous.” he muttered after a few seconds holding you.
You sighed, letting out a big breath “Shut up, Sirius.”
*******
The crowd outside the Hogwarts express was buzzing with life as the students from all years and houses directed themselves to the doors to find a space for the journey back home. You weren’t left behind, moving with the crowd slowly until you found yourself in the narrowed halls of the train. Your feet carried you with the memory of the past three years, not even realizing until you found yourself outside the space where Regulus had promised he would sit with you to go back home.
An empty promise now.
“C’mon,” you felt someone say on your side, grasping your hand as they pulled you with them. “You’re sitting with us.” Anne looked at you with a smile, following your new group of friends, one you were grateful for as you gladly followed them.
You sat next to Anne, next to the window as the rest of your friends took their spaces. “I can’t believe this year is over.” Anne breathed out with a smile, looking at each and every one of you to see what you thought “So many things happened, right? It wasn’t just me.”
You all mumbled to yourselves, agreeing silently with her as you all remembered the events of the year.
“I never thought Y/N here would ever grace us with her presence.” William said, playfully kicking your leg from across you.
“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked with a smile, crossing your arms and lifting your chin in his direction.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” he said jokingly, placing a hand over his heart. “But you only made friends with the most elite members of our house, went and made friends none other than Regulus Black and then started hanging out with fifth year Gryffindors.”
Anne nodded apologetically, giving him the reason “I’m just glad you're not friends with those other Ravenclaws.”
William waved a hand “Everybody makes mistakes, but she woke up.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, fearing what he might say next.
“She went and made friends with none other than James Potter, Gryffindor Quidditch captain.”
Anne squealed, turning to William as he turned with the same energy as her “You can’t forget Sirius Black.”
You chuckled at their excitement, smiling widely as they all started hushing about the last Quidditch games they watched.
“She’s not Sirius’s friend.” a light voice said, making you all turn in your spots, capturing Anne and Williams’ attention like bright colors did to a small child “He’s her boyfriend.”
“What?!” they exclaimed in disbelief, Anne slapping the side of your arm with a hurt frown on her face “And you didn’t tell us?!”
You chuckled nervously, moving your hair behind your ear as you turned to face your friend.She smiled nervously at you “I didn’t know it was a secret.” she apologized, placing a hand on top of yours.
“Don’t worry about it, Pandora. It’s not, really.” you explained, turning to Anne and William who now had sly grins on their faces. “It’s not a secret.” you repeated.
“It really isn’t.” Pandora assured them “If you pay enough attention you’ll see they have been together for a while.”
You turned to her curiously, “We haven’t been together for that long.” you told her.
She smiled, shrugging her shoulders carelessly “Maybe not officially.” she said, making Anne burst out laughing.
“So you’ve been secretly dating and now you are officially dating?” William asked, leaning forward with a playful gaze.
“It’s not like-Oh, Merlin.” you murmured, waving lightly at the outside as Sirius stood there, James right behind him winking in your direction.
Sirius opened the door, standing on the frame for a moment before he squished himself inside to sit next to you. “Hi, love.” he said, kissing you briefly before he turned to you friends “I don’t believe I’ve met your friends.” he said, clasping his hands together as he glanced in your direction “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” he asked.
You stared, wide eyed, in his direction. You mouthed what are you doing?, but he paid you no mind.
“Sirius Black.” he said, offering his hand around.
“Anne.” she breathed out, the fan Quidditch fan inside of her dying as her eyes followed the form of James outside.
“I’m Pandora.” she introduced herself, giving a warm smile in his direction as she waved her hand.
“Pleasure,” he said, turning to William at last. He gave you a side glance and you could do nothing but stare “You must be…”
“William.” he said, cutting Sirius off. He shook his hand fervently “Big fan of yours and James out there.” he said, capturing James’ attention as he too waved to everyone inside.
Sirius seemed disappointed, dropping William's hand as turned to you. “And where is our friend Ronan then?”
You had to cover your mouth, covering your laugh with a light cough as you looked over your hand and to Sirius.
“Who?” asked Pandora with confusion.
Then it dawned on Sirius as he turned to you slowly, ignoring how James’ bursting laughter echoed the walls as he moved from where you couldn’t see him anymore.
You just shrugged your shoulders at Sirius, placing a kiss on his cheek as he stood from his seat.
James threw an arm around his shoulders the moment he set foot out of the cabin “C’mon Pads. Let’s go before the little bird there leaves you without any dignity.” he laughed.
*******
“I can’t believe you made up someone to make me jealous.” Sirius said, making you giggle as you walked through Kings Cross station.
“I never thought you would go and actually look for him.” you stated, pulling your hand with his intertwined with yours, making him face you. “You should go now.” you whispered, glancing to your side.
He glanced too, shaking his head as he returned his attention to you “James is still with Lily.”
“They’re waiting for you.”
He just held you close, not letting go of you as he trapped your arms in his hold “Promise me I’ll see you during the summer. I don’t care if I have to make you jump out of your window.”
“I promise.” you mumbled against his chest, moving your head so your chin rested where your face was a moment before, looking up at him.
“Sirius!” you heard James call, making you both turn to him as he waved in the door direction. “Let 's go.”
“Go.” you told him, standing in your tiptoes to brush your lips against his “I’ll be fine, you’ll be fine. We’ll see each other before you even know it.”
He bit down on his lip, narrowing his eyes “Fine.” he said, giving in. Leaning once more he kissed you softly, slowly letting go of you as he started to back away, never stopping to look in your direction. “Until our next song.” he said with a smile, his arm stretched in your direction.
You mirrored his hand, nodding with a smile “`til our next song.” you mouthed, watching him disappear in the crowd.
*******
Regulus Black sat on the edge of his bed, frozen and all alone as he eyed the bottom of his trunk with a cold gaze. Everything he had learned, all his studies and nights awake were a success. He still felt empty. Empty inside.
The clicking of heels against wood floors made him snap his head towards the door. Rushing to his feet he closed his trunk and kicked it under his bed, standing as his door opened without warning.
“Regulus.” Greeted an icy voice.
He moved his eyes to meet hers, nodding firmly “Mother.” he said back.
Walburga Black eyed his son up and down, approving firmly “Tea is ready.” she informed, waiting for the response of Regulus as she moved out of her son’s room, not waiting to see if he followed but knowing he did.
They reached the living room in a short time, Kreacher moving quickly around as he prepared everything for his masters. He mumbled under his breath, moving to the side when he saw Regulus, greeting and welcoming him home.
Regulus only gave short answers, sitting across from his mother as she picked up her cup from the silver tray, the soft clinking sound of her spoon as it touched the ceramic from the cup the only sound heard in the grand room. Regulus didn’t bother in picking up his own cup.
“Your brother?” His mother asked suddenly, sipping tea as her eyes never left the form of her son.
“Still with the Potters.”
“And the girl?”
Regulus tensed up, slow blinking eyes as he bit his tongue for a brief second. “Another one to his list.” he said surely “He’s been ignoring her for months now.”
She nodded, placing his plate and cup down. With a sharp yet graceful movement she stood, facing the burning chimney “Do you know where I was just an hour ago?” she asked.
“No.”
She turned to him, a sly smile on her face as she walked to him “Of course not. Otherwise you’d know better than lying.” she hissed, taking a seat next to him.
Regulus remained facing the chimney, ignoring the feel of her mother right beside him. “I’m telling you what I know.” he said calmly.
“People talk, my boy.” she said, her hand coming to cup the side of his face. Her touch felt soft, even caring as her finger moved over the skin of his cheeks. Then her grasp turned harsh, holding his chin as she turned his face to her “Remember where your loyalties lay.” she hissed, pushing his face to the side as she stood up again.
“Yes, mother.” he muttered, not even making a move to soothe the pain on his face.
Just as Regulus moved to leave the room Walburga Black turned on her spot, wand grasped tightly on her hand. “Not just yet.”
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: Fluff and angst. Cursing.
A/N: Please let me know what you think! Your comments and reblogs make me young and motivated ;)
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“No, really.” Peter whispered under his breath, leaning on his elbows as he had fallen to the ground just in between James and Remus “Did that just happen?” he asked, pointing his finger towards you and Sirius as his eyes looked for James and Remus.
Remus’ jaw would have touched the ground if it wasn’t for the previous knowledge he had that Sirius loved you. He knew from the moment Sirius didn’t stop talking about you after one month that you had something on him or he was really head over heels for you. It turned out the second one was the correct answer as you didn’t even glance in his direction, which amused Remus to no end. To finally see Sirius do the chasing instead of the other way around. However, his mouth was open in a perfect circle, his eyes bulging from his head as he heard you say the three words everyone desired to hear from the one they loved, to hear those feelings were reciprocated. You said it first. He could come up with thousand of reasons why you had done it, the thrill of the moment, the adrenaline pumping through your veins, because you saw it as the perfect moment to do it, but in the end he came to the conclusion it was right there and then that you realized that what you felt was love, love for Sirius. And he had the honor to see the realization explode behind your eyes with a thousand fireworks and the bursting giggles of those three words.
James was grinning like an idiot. He had been the last one to get there, tripping over the overgrown roots of the trees and rolling down to the grass. Then he heard it, his best friend finally telling you he loved you. His body immediately jumped from his fallen state on the ground, holding his upper body with his elbows as his grin became bigger and brighter. Sirius had his back at him, only seeing the back of his head and how his arms disappeared from his sides to hold you close to him. He could see a small peak of you over his shoulder, just where the shade of your hair color melted with his. Your eyes were closed as you rested your head over his shoulder, until your head perked up and your eyes fluttered open, meeting James’ bright gaze. He winked at you, your warm smile only cut when Sirius let go of you.
His grey eyes gleamed, you couldn’t tell if the glossy look on them was from the happy unshed tears or simply his emotions reflected on them. You didn’t care. You were certain your eyes mirrored his. His hands found your sides before they moved to cup your cheeks. “Wake me up.” he mumbled, resting his forehead against yours with his eyes closed.
You let out a breathy laugh, finding his own cheeks with shaky palms “You’re not dreaming.” you told him in a whisper.
His thumbs ran over your cheekbones before he pulled you to him, his lips finding yours in a slow kiss, one both had been longing for since you first got a taste from the other, a kiss that didn't last long enough as he pulled from you. You didn’t expect him to star peppering kisses all over your face, making you burst in a fit of giggles as your arms found his waist, trying to cover from his attack in the crook of his neck, but even there he managed to find the side of your head and the corner of your cheek. He finally gave up, wrapping you in the warmth of his arms, moving you slowly until your back was to his friends and he was facing them.
“What are you idiots doing here?” he asked then, glancing at every one of them in their spot on the ground as their eyes snapped away from the couple as soon as they saw Sirius’ glare.
No one answered and you wiggled yourself out of his grasp to turn to them “Didn’t you hear?” you asked him “They followed us here.” you repeated, looking at them who now scratched the back of their heads.
“In our defense,” defended James with a confident look “No one would have confessed their love for someone in the midst of a chase.”
All four faces turned to the curly haired boy as he finished, Remus’ judging look in his direction enough to make him shrug, as if his look carried something he didn’t want.
“You’re the least appropriate person to say that, Prongs.” Peter said, tilting his head “You have yelled that you love Lily in the middle of pranks, sometimes when she’s not even there.”
James shushed Peter quickly, waving his hand in front of him to distract him “But Lily flower already knew, it was just a reminder.” he said matter of factly, pointing to you and Sirius “They hadn't even kissed yet. Who makes the first confession so out of the blue? What happened to finding the perfect time?!” He turned his head, eyes looking for you “You could’ve done better, littl- They’re not here.” he said dryly, letting his hand fall to his side as he turned to Remus “How long have they been gone?”
“I don’t think anyone cares about your thought process, Prongs.” Remus said, patting his friends back as he jumped to his feet.
James followed close, helping Peter to his feet. Peter just shook his head at James and went to catch up with Remus. “Rude.” was the only word that left James as he started walking. James thought he was brilliant.
A couple of meters ahead from where Remus and Peter walked and chatted together, you walked right beside Sirius. Your hands were clasped together, swinging them softly in between your bodies.
“One day you’ll tell me why you call each other those names.” you said with confidence in your voice “I know James is Prongs and you’ve called Remus Moony sometimes.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise, it was true that the nicknames elected for the Marauders to call themselves had slipped his tongue on more than one occasion, he didn’t think you were paying that much attention to him.
“You can always dream, love.” he said, squeezing your hand.
“I’ll find out on my own.” you said, a smirk forming on your lips as you turned to him “I’ll get it out from one of them, one will break with time.”
He chuckled at that, lowering his head as his hair fell to the side of his head. “Hogsmeade.” he blurted out, throwing his head back. You reached your hand to get the few stray pieces out of his face, watching as the ideas formed in his head. “What about Hogsmeade?” you asked before the thought left his mind.
He turned to you excitedly “Go to Hogsmeade with me.” he said
You gasped playfully, placing a hand on your chest as you batted your eyelashes dramatically at him “Sirius Black, are you asking me on a date?” you asked.
He scoffed playfully, rolling his eyes while you dropped the act with a laugh “Did you miss all that happened back there?” he pointed back to the hills in the direction of your hideout “I don’t think we’re actually following the established schedule for dating.”
You smiled brightly, the thoughts running fast in your head as the smile quickly turned into a grin “So we’re dating?” you asked, taking one brief glance at him and the sudden panic that flooded his eyes.
“Are we?” he suddenly asked, making you laugh immediately.
“This is a mess.” you laughed, taking short breaths as you waved a hand in front of you. “Let’s get this one right, okay?” you said, not waiting for an answer as he gave you a nod. “Sirius Black, would you like to call yourself my boyfriend and therefore say we are indeed dating?”
He looked to the sky, brushing the pads of his fingers against his chin in thought.
“You’re taking too long. I take back my offer, goodbye.” you joked, letting go of his hand as you rushed a couple of steps forward.
He didn’t even have to make an effort, taking two long steps to sneak behind your back. You squealed when his arms snaked around your waist, lifting you up in the air as he spun you around, the surprise sounds turning into soft giggles.
He let you down, and you swiftly turned to face him, your hands on his chest as he held you by the waist. “Nothing to think about.” he said firmly “But did you have to use my full name?”
“Sirius!”
*******
“I can’ believe you’re actually dating!” Félix said, dropping the pile of books on the table, making dust lift from the surface as you blinked rapidly.
Quickly you reacted and shushed Félix, making him frown as he sat down on his chair “You sound like Madame Pince when you do that.”
“And you sound like-like a parrot!” you whisper-shouted “How many times have you said that you can’t believe it? Take time to process it, then.”
“For someone who just found the joy of love, you’re really bitter.” he mumbled and you pushed his shoulder with a pout.
“I’m not bitter.” you established, changing the book before you for one over your own pile, opening it at a random page “It’s just new, I’m trying to assimilate it before the entire world knows.”
He glanced at you with disbelief in his eyes but said nothing, changing his page with a bit of an attitude “I’m not the entire world.” he said, stretching his neck while glancing down “You could have told me it wasn’t a one sided crush.”
You glared at him, shaking your head as you found the content page on your book “You weren’t supposed to know anything, Félix. Not yet.” you murmured, glancing at him at the same time he shot a hurtful look at you “You weren’t supposed to see me kissing him goodnight, that was an accident.”
He shrugged, taking his quill as he started writing. You thought maybe he had let go of the subject and you could finally get down to work. You should’ve known Félix better. “You weren’t exactly hiding.” he mumbled nonchalantly.
You placed your palms down on the table, leaning on the table with narrowed eyes. “You found out because you’re a nosey little shit and you know it.” you hissed, making him turn with wide eyes at you.
He closed his book, turning his body towards you “Watch how you talk to your only friend, Y/N.”
You tilted your head, a menacing look on your face as you scoffed, leaning back on your chair “I have more friends.” you stated, crossing your arms.
“Then remind me, who’s the one who helps you with herbology?” he started, making your eyes widen as he listed one more thing with the lift of one of his fingers “Who scanned the halls of the entire school and created diversions so you wouldn’t run into one certain Black brother or who feed you and brought all kind of goodies for your miserable state after one particular fight that we will not mention.”
“Thank you.” you mumbled darkly.
“See! I even know that.” he added excitedly “I faked the rumor of your death so Sirirus would leave you be.”
“You did?” you asked in surprise.
“Professor Flitwick asked me about it, he was more concerned about me than you.” he told you, his eyes lowering in remembrance as he fell silent. “My point is that I’m your best friend, you could trust me with things, you know?”
It was your turn to fall silent, watching at the kid who stuck to your side the moment he got sorted into Ravenclaw, the one who looked for you whenever he needed help or felt like having some comforting company. You wondered what he would have done had he known what Regulus did, what he was. A muggleborn Ravenclaw who had enough nerve on his system to face a third year Slytherin like it was another wednesday.
“It’s kind of pathetic, though. Even I can see it.” he said, breaking you out from your thoughts.
“What is?” you asked, still with your thoughts blurry.
“That your only friend is a first year from your house.”
You glared at him, getting one book as you got up. “It’s not pathetic.” you said, rounding his chair as you ducked your head in front of him “And I have more friends.”
He chuckled but let you go, continuing his writing as if he was the only one with some common sense in the entire library. He was right, but you wouldn’t admit it just like that. The people you hung out with in class were hardly your friends, they could only be described as classmates, you could talk about nothing more but school work and professors. Félix was so important to you, you hadn’t even realized it until he pointed out all of the things he had done for you. A sudden heavy feeling of guilt fell over you as you reached the front desk.
“Miss Y/L/N.” a firm voice called, making you jump in your place. You were taken aback Madame Pince knew your name but said nothing about it.
You placed the book in front of her “I would like to take this one, please.” you said to her, her pale hands reaching for it while glancing over the brim of her glasses at you. She said nothing and got to work silently.
A chill crept up your spine, making you twist your neck. She had a strong energy, and you couldn’t help but feel intimidated by it.
Not more than a couple of seconds later she gave you the book with the card inside of it. You took it, whispering a thank you as you turned to leave, only for her voice to call your name once more. You faced her with a nervous smile, walking back to her desk as she refused to raise her voice in the slightest.
“Do tell Mr. Black that he should have returned the book he borrowed a week ago by now.” she said, a cold look on her face.
You frowned “Sirius?” you scoffed, remembering who you were talking to and turning more serious “He wouldn’t have stepped inside the library even if-”
“Not him.” she cut you off, taking out a note as she read “Regulus Black borrowed the only copy of a very rare book about the founders of Hogwarts a week ago. He must return it.”
You stared at her, not knowing why you expected her of all professors to know about the fall of your friendship with Regulus.
“I’ll let him know.” you lied, only leaving when she gave you a firm nod of her head.
*******
Sirius leaned patiently on the wall outside of the door that led into the Ravenclaw common room. He had seen students go out, their eyes glued to him the moment they saw him there, he couldn’t help the smile that they drew on his face. The wise students of Hogwarts looked at him, some even flashed him with smiles and soft waves of their hands, their voices rushing into whispers as soon as he got out of their sights. Many wondered why he was there, others had guessed right and got to the conclusion he was waiting for you. He didn’t realize so many people knew who you were.
The door creaked open once more and he recognized your form as you walked backwards, closing the door as you talked to someone behind it, it seemed as if you wanted to keep a dog inside from escaping the room. He certainly knew the feeling.
“Oh you’re here.” you breathed out with a smile, your body relaxing as you took him in “I thought we were meeting at the courtyard.”
He offered you his hand, one you took with a smile as you walked down the long stairs “I thought I’d better wait for you here.” he answered simply, returning your smile as you reached the hallways. “You Ravenclaws are funny.”
You chuckled “What makes you say that?” you asked.
He shrugged his shoulders, pointing his thumb back to the Ravenclaw tower “All the people who got out of there looked at me funny, some even gave a lost puppy look.”
“It is weird to see Gryffindors outside our door.” you admitted “You’d be one of the few. How long were you out there?”
“Not long.” he said.
You both fell into a comfortable silence as you walked outside the castle, the bustling crowd of students waiting for their friends to get there to finally leave for Hogsmeade making you smile. This was your first time going to Hogsmeade on a date and you could feel your body vibrating in excitement.
“Hey, do you think we could stop at Honeydukes?” you asked Sirius once you walked the busy streets of the small town.
“Sure.” he said, getting the door for you as the sweet smell of sugar hit your face. You walked the shelves and along the tall walls stuffed with all kinds of candy of every flavor you could imagine. Ten minutes had gone by and you had your arms full, Sirirus taking some of them from you as he took some for him as well.
“You had a sweet tooth,” he said with a smile.
You glanced at him with a big smile “Not all of this is for me.” you shared, stopping in front of a shelf for a moment before continuing “Félix can’t come to Hogsmeade yet so picking up some of his favorites.”
He nodded, picking up the box you had just walked by “You don’t like these?” he asked, showing you the box as you stared at them, your smile falling slightly as Sirius only grew “They’re my favorite.”
Your eyes moved immediately to him, taking one last look at the box before you felt your heart shrink inside your chest. It was a simple purple box of soft caramel, the most basic type of candy in a magic shop, nothing special about them. They are Regulus favorites as well.
“I do.” you said, putting on your best smile “They’re my favorite too. I always keep some in my bag.” you said softly, watching as he took the box with him.
His smile never faltered, following you around as you both ended with your arms full. One visit to Honeydukes turned into an entire day visiting each and every single shop you could find on Hogsmeade, some you only entered to watch as if they were museums you could visit and others you ended running around the small shops. You discovered Sirius looked dazzling in a long coat and you looked like a royal in a crown.
The day quickly came to an end, the sky turning all shades of a soft orange and light purple as you both sat near the Black Lake. You stared at your reflection on the water when you got there, an old wound you thought was healing slowly completely ripped open by the single memory brought back to you by none other thing but candy. You refused to let the small void in your heart ruin your first date and decided to put the suffocating feeling aside.
“I love the night sky.” you whispered from where you lay on the grass, Sirius stretched out right next to you.
“I was named after a star.” he said, and you turned your head to him. watching as his eyes focused on the sky “I don’t think we can see it right now.”
“Of course not.” you said, as if it was something obvious. Your body turned to its side, throwing your arm over his middle as you nuzzled on his side, his left arm wrapping around you as he looked down at you “You’re right here.”
He nodded with a lazy smile “I’m a star.”
“And according to James I’m a little bird.” you remind him.
Your heart eased into a safe space, with Sirius holding you close to him. You could close your eyes and drift into a dream where all was well.
*******
It was the middle of the week and you were done with it. You could feel the summer break breathing close to you and still reach your hand and find nothing but all the work you had to be done with first so you could declare yourself free from school for the summer.
You were walking out of transfiguration class with Anne, your roommate and the one of the girls you felt closest to. She had shiny warm eyes and a permanent kind smile, her blonde hair always in soft waves over her shoulders. You wondered what it was about you that had drawn her to you.
“We could do the potions research together.” she offered with a soft voice “I’ve heard it is difficult and it might require more than one brain.” she laughed.
“I’d like that,” you smiled at her “Maybe today after class?”
“Sure!” she said, turning on the door with you by her side.
“Miss Y/L/N!” you heard, stopping with a confused look at Anne “A word, please.” called professor McGonagall.
Your stomach dropped but nodded in her direction “I’ll catch up.” you told Anne, a nod from her as she mixed with the crowd and you lost her from your sight. You entered the classroom, walking to professor McGonagall’s desk as she looked at you. “Can I help you with something professor?” you asked.
She nodded, getting a piece of parchment from all the papers she had spread over her desk. “I believe you are aware that the final assignment for my class is worked in pairs.” she started explaining “I had made all the arrangements for the pairings however your partner has requested a change.”
You started to feel uneasy, shifting your weight “I understand.” you said to her.
“Yes, I cannot assign you new partners so this will- Oh, Mr. Black, perfect timing, come on in.”
Your head snapped to look behind your back, seeing Regulus stand on the arch of the door, his eyes glued to you as he walked to the desk.
Your initial burn to glare at him soon faded as he grew closer to you, the light reaching his form and making your heart drop. The skin on his face clung to his bones, he seemed weaker, almost sick. His posture was perfect, as usual, but the way he hung to the side made you believe he was dizzy, like he couldn’t find his footing. Dark colors painted the skin under his eyes as his gaze seemed unfocused, then too sharp.
“You called for me, professor?” he asked, not glancing at you once.
“Indeed, I was telling Miss Y/L/N that you had requested a change of partner for the final assignment, however I cannot do that.”
“It was I who asked him to ask you for a change of partner, professor.” you interfered, glancing in his direction “I don’t feel comfortable working with him.” you said.
Professor Mcgonagall looked at you with wide eyes, nodding her head “I understand that but I’m afraid all students already have a partner. You will have to work together or by yourselves.”
“I don’t mind working alone.” you cut in before Regulus could say anything.
Professor McGonagall couldn’t shake the surprise from your attitude, turning with a questioning look to Regulus “Mr. Black?” she asked.
He hesitated, looking at her after a couple of seconds “I’m fine with working alone.” he said calmly, his voice normal and even. He didn’t wait for the professor to dismiss him, turning on his spot and walking to the door.
You quickly said your goodbyes to professor McGonagall, rushing out of the classroom, looking in both directions until you saw the back of Regulus’ head. You marched in his direction, holding with white knuckles the strap of your bag.
“What the hell was that?” you demanded as you were at hand reach from him. He turned sharply on his spot, his eyes void of any emotion as he stared at you. He said nothing. “No matter what you think you are in no place to ask for another partner, Regulus.” you said, eyebrows furrowed and fire burning in your eyes “Believe it or not, you are not above every single student here.”
His eyelids moved so slowly you thought he looked like he was falling asleep on his spot, but his eyes were focused and present, his lips pressed in a line before he said “I thought it would be more comfortable for you.” was his excuse.
You shook your head, placing your hand in front of you “Don’t make this about me.” you said firmly.
“Y/N-”
“Don’t.” you stopped him, standing taller “Do whatever you need to do, Regulus.” you told him, moving to his side to leave but turning one more time to face his side “Just leave me out of it.”
*******
The end of the week was finally there. The halls of the castle buzzing with the freedom the weekend carried with it. Secret parties, forbidden meetups, discrete games of Quidditch, the possibility to go to bed early knowing you could wake up late the next morning. Fridays for you meant long night talks with Sirius in the astronomy tower. You met there a couple of hours after dinner was over, when the owls first started to sing and the twinkling stars were fully visible. That day you got to the tower when the sun was barely hiding and the crowds of students were still visible from your spot in the high tower.
Your encounter with Regulus had left you more shaken than you could explain, some alone time was much needed for you, far from the gazes and whispers that still lingered in the mouths of the students. You hadn’t let them affect you much, with Sirius by your side it was easier, but the weight that they carried was set loose once you let your thoughts wander.
A constant comparison had settled in the public eye between Sirius and Regulus. All because of you. You had told yourself that they did that even before you entered their lives but now the whispers circled you as well. To you, it felt as if they had traded places in your life.
The sound of steps coming up to where you were makes you run your hands over your face, turning immediately as the footsteps neared you.
“I didn’t see you at dinner.” Sirius said as a form of greeting, standing next to where you sat. He looked down, seeing your knees folded close to your chest and the way you placed your chin over them. “What 's wrong?” he asked as he sat down in front of you, putting aside the small mountain of food he carried with him.
You purse your lips, putting on your best smile with the tilt of your head “Wrong? Nothing’s wrong.” you answered, your voice high as he gave you a knowing look.
His features softened, as he grabbed some of the crackers he had brought for you, handing you one. “You’re always putting on a brave face for everyone.” he noted “Always pretending.” he said like he had said many times before.
“I’m not pretending.” you said back, taking a bite of the cracker “I don’t want to bother you with my dark mood.”
He laughed shortly, “That’s not a dark mood. you should see Moo-Remus, when he’s upset. That 's dark.” he said with a shiver, making you chuckle. “You should let the world know how you feel.”
“What use would it be?” you asked.
“I, for once, would like to know what is going on with you without having to dig it out of you.” he said, booping your nose as he did.
You scrunch your nose, smiling at him “You’re more outgoing than I am.”
“Says the one who almost starts a fight in the middle of the hall.” he mocked with humor, raising a knowing eyebrow in your direction.
“You promised you would let that go.”
“I just wished I had been there to see it.” he lamented himself, his head peeking up “See! I want things for myself, like watching you start a fight.” That caught your attention, making you raise your head as you mumbled on the cracker in your hand. His mood had suddenly lowered as well, his fingers twisting the only ring in his hand “I guess I’m selfish that way.” he mumbled.
You wanted to cry and laugh, throwing your head back “You're not selfish.” you said assuringly.
“You say that because most of the time you don’t want to hurt me.”
You smiled, taking his hand and placing yours against it. “I mean it.” you said, a sudden seriousness in your voice. Sirius just nodded, watching as you played with his hand, enjoying the way they molded together.
“I talked to Regulus.” you confessed, glancing quickly at him before you returned your attention to your hands.
He didn’t seem surprised, the look in his eyes not moving one inch “What did he have to say?” he asked. You didn’t know if he actually was curious or he was letting you talk. You didn’t care.
“I don’t think he meant for it to happen.” you said, chuckling bitterly as you intertwined your fingers with Sirius’, moving your eyes to him “He asked for a change of partner in McGonagall’s class. We were both there.”
“It doesn’t surprise me.” he admitted, and you glanced at him with a dead stare.
“I know it doesn’t. It still feels foreign to me.” you said, glancing at the sky to avoid Sirius's eyes. You felt your lower lip start to tremble and you bit down on it, however your eyes betrayed you when you felt the first tear trail down your cheek.
“Y/N?” Sirius called but you didn’t move, the soft sniffs from your nose alerting him even more “Love.” he said, moving your hair to get a better look at your face.
You moved your hand, cleaning your face with the back of it as you turned to him with your lips pressed together. He tilted his head, the hurt you felt reflected on him as he hated seeing you like that. He opened his arm to you, and you crawled to his side, resting your head on his shoulder as the silent tears fell freely.
“I hate to see him like this.” you whispered, voice raspy as you spoke “He looks so tired, so sick and I can’t do anything. What if it’s my fault?” you asked, lifting your head, panic flooding your eyes.
“Hey, hey,” he shushed you, holding your face in his palms. “It’s not your fault. It 's not.”
He held your eyes, the grey color in his grounding you enough to brush your hand against his cheek. “I forget how alike you two are.” you whispered, moving your hands to take his away from your face “I want to tell you something.”
He looked worried, confusion written all over his features “What is it?”
You smiled sadly at him, taking his hand and placing a chaste kiss on his knuckles “You know I love you, right?” you reminded him, his soft nod encouraging you to continue “And I love you for what you are. Because only when we met you scared the hell out of me and you found joy in it, because you never gave up on me even when I did everything in my power to make you understand it wasn’t going to happen, because you believed in what we could be when I didn’t. The one that gets in trouble seven days out of the week and has never stepped inside of the library, the one that wants me to be friends of his friends or the one that borrows a record player from his friend just to play the first song we ever danced. I love you because you care about me, and you’re patient and understanding and the one that has made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time, even in these dark times.”
His face was a mixture of emotions, his trembling eyes going down to your hands “Why are you telling me this?” he asked shakily.
You took a deep breath, your voice breaking with the emotion “I don’t want you to feel like you are replacing Regulus somehow.” you said, tears falling down your cheeks again. You squeezed his hand, moving closer to him. “He was my best friend and I love him very much, it hurts me deeply to see him like this and what happened between us but there is no comparison in how I feel about you.” a more bright chuckle left your lips, the ghost of a smile on your lips “I love you, Sirius. And even if I was still friends with Regulus, nothing would change that.
He closed his eyes, letting out a breathy laugh as he brought you closer to him. He held the back of your head close to him, placing a lingering kiss on your forehead. “Thank you.” he mumbled against your hair, letting you melt against him as a weight was lifted from his chest. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he would do anything to never lose you.
*******
The envelope sat with a heavy weight before Regulus. The yellow color and perfect edges did not fool him as he stared at it with dread.
There was no avoiding it as he reached for the letter addressed to him in neat cursive handwriting. He broke the wax seal and got the short message from inside, reading the lines over and over until he had memorized them.
The signature under the message brought no comfort to him, no sweet name or pet name was waiting for him at the end of the letter, just one name.
james potter dating a girl with social anxiety hcs
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please read ! hi. i’m back. sorry for being inactive with writing but i have so many ideas i’m estatic to write and am back now. i wrote this when i wasn’t doing the best, and originally only wrote it for myself and myself only ( it’s stacked with my own triggers ) as a way to vent a bit and provide myself w some comfort. it’s sat in my drafts and i now realize that maybe, somehow it could help someone in the same position as me. it had somewhat of a decent structure so yeah here it is. i also know there are so many more triggers people have but i only included ones i am familiar with. anyways i love you and you are not alone. your struggles are incredibly valid.
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: Fluff.
A/N: I said this part was going to be emotional, it's not, not really. Just fluffy and amazing and I love it. Thanks to the two hours I spend going from home to school I came up with this entire part. Feedback is appreciated, reblogs too, likes too. Enjoy! <3
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“I can’t believe you got away with that.” you laughed, rocking on the spot you sat on the grass, your hands holding onto your knees to keep yourself from falling on your back from the laughter.
To your left sat Remus, holding back a smile as he watched in marvel around the small circle you formed on the ground, he was shaking his head with the brightest smile finally breaking over his face as he looked over you with the shrug of his shoulders. As much as Remus Lupin had the facade to be a rule follower with his shiny prefect badge held proudly on his chest, you had learned he had only that reputation due to his ability to know every single rule and how to get away with breaking them and not get themselves stuck in the detention for the rest of their years at Hogwarts and even more time after they graduated. He had that gleam in his eyes as the rest of them narrated the events of the previous days, the proud knowledge that if it wasn’t for him, none of their late night adventures would be possible.
James and Peter, of course, could not have been any other way but standing just a few short steps from you, reenacting everything that had happened. The Slytherins were their favorite targets for their pranks, no one knew exactly why and put it on the ancient rivalry that had been going on since the time the founders themselves had walked those very same halls. If you wore a green robe you had a target on your back. Older students didn’t have luck that week, apparently a strange case of some disease Madame Pomfrey hadn’t been able to name had gotten loose on the dungeons. Teachers and prefects alike had been summoned to the infirmary to discuss the subject, no one had been able to discover what was the cause of the sudden appearance of scales over the arms of the Slytherin students.
“You should have seen Professor Dumbledore’s face.” Remus added, earning the burst of laughter from James and Peter who finally fell to the grass and rolled there, clutching their stomachs. They obviously had heard this part of the story before. “I’m sure he had as much trouble as I did to keep his smile to himself.”
“Tell her what he said, Moony.” Sirius said, making you look in his direction with a smile of your own. His cheeks hurt from his smile at that point, his body eager to move but he sat next to you, legs bent so he could rest his arms over his knees in a lazy position. His hand had a ghostly touch over your shoulder, sometimes moving to tap in your back with a rhythmical pattern. If he only moved his arm a little closer, he would have been holding you.
“Professor Dumbledore thinks it’s only right that the Slytherin students be proud of their symbol,” Remus said with his best imitation of the professor’s calm voice “They shouldn’t worry about embodying their house emblem.”
The shock of what Dumbledore had said lasted but a brief second before you burst out laughing, joining Peter and James on the grass. Low chuckles reached your ears but you had no willpower to stop laughing at the thought of the older students with scales on their arms and a sour mood, the cherry on top being professor Dumbledore comments.
“Next thing we know you all will grow manes and I’ll have feathers.” you said, once you calmed down, moving to sit back in your place.
Sirius scoffed, making you turn in his direction with a bright smile, his face closer to yours than you had anticipated. “You think this hair grew in just one day?” he asked, shaking his head dramatically so his hair will move just like silk over his shoulders “I don’t think so. This is my pride and years of care.”
You scrunch your nose at him, missing the way James and Peter mocked Sirius as they ran their hand through their own hair. You only turned when Remus almost spit out his drink, coughing loudly as he hit his chest and turned to the side.
“You all wished you had hair like this.” Sirius said with a glare, flipping his middle finger in the air for all of them to see. They all let out a whistle as their hands were raised in the air, the humor never leaving their faces as they all knew hitting Sirius’ ego was the way to win with him.
You just shook your head, turning your attention back to Sirius with a kind, warmer smile “Well, I really like your hair.” you confessed, mostly in a whisper and for only him to hear. Your smile reached your eyes as your hand wandered with a mind of its own to the side of his head, brushing the longer strands of hair that fell over his shoulder off and away from his jacket.
“They’re making eyes at each other.” Peter whispered, making you roll your eyes as you both turned to him with a playful glare. At least yours was playful.
“Peter, you make eyes to your food and no one says a thing.” Sirius said back, making James snort in the process. Peter just limited himself to groan as he threw his head back, knowing this time he had lost. With a confident raise of his eyebrow, Sirius glanced at you and reached for your hand that rested close to his, making you whimper in surprise before a frown settled on your face. “What is it?” he asked concerned, letting go of you immediately.
Your other hand went to rub your knuckles carefully, shaking your head.
“That’s what happens when you give your first punch to someone’s jaw.” James gleamed, peaking over your shoulder as he nodded proudly. “I’ll never forget the ache days after I first punched someone.”
“What?” the three boys exclaimed, their interest hooked as their bodies visibly leaned towards James. Sirius’s jaw even fell for a moment as his eyes glanced between you, your hand and then James who looked apologetically at you and the groan you let out. You brought your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs as you hid your face there too, falling into a fetal position on the cold grass as the questions started to rain on you.
When did it happen? You punched someone? Who did you punch?
“I thought you told them.” James said in his defense, making you come out of your made up hiding place in between your knees. “Why would I do that?” you asked incredulously.
He was limited to shrug. “It’s something you share with your friends!” he said excitedly.
“Who did you punch?” Sirius asked you, placing his hand over your arm as he started to lightly shake you on the ground “C´mon, Y/N. I never thought you’d be capable of yelling to someone and here you lay, telling me you punched someone. Did they deserve it? I’m sure they did.”
“It’s not that important.” you shrugged it off, moving to sit back.
“It is if it’s your first time punching someone.” Remus said and you tilted your head, a silent question in your eyes as you stared at him.
Biting down on your lip you looked around the excited boys, meeting Sirius’ eyes as you said “Promise you’ll let it go after I tell you.” you asked of them, their nods enough to push you to talk.
“You punched Gideon in the face!?” Sirius yelled as soon as you finished telling the story, James backing you up with comments from his perspective with the omission of tiny details from the silent threat in your eyes not to mention Regulus.
“I didn’t know who he was.” you excused yourself with a high pitched voice “I still don’t know, really.”
“Oh, he’s never hearing the end of this.” Sirius beamed as he placed his arm around your shoulder, holding you close to him as he walked next to you. You had gotten up in the middle of your retelling as soon as it started to get dark. The four boys walking inside the castle with you and making their way to the Ravenclaw tower to walk you safely to your common room. “The money I would pay to have been there.”
“Totally worth it.” James said, raising his finger in the air in declaration. “You don’t look like it but you’re strong.” he told you.
“Thank you?” you said with the confused tilt of your head. “It’s all from baking, which reminds me…” you said, fumbling in your bag until a small container made it out of it. “Cookies.” you announced.
Sirius reached his hand with a smile, the disappointed sound that left his mouth as you went past him and handed them to James making your heart melt. His hand was left hanging in the air until it dropped to his side, his eyes finding yours with a sad puppy look.
“He’s the most responsible one regarding food.” you said, knowing fully well the other three would eat them all by themselves in one sitting “You guys are difficult to feed.”
“That is betrayal.” he murmured, following you up the stairs to the tower. The five of you formed a bee line on the narrowed stairs, you leading them up front.
“Don’t be dramatic.” you said, turning to face him right on the door of the Ravenclaw common room. “Thank you for walking me here, you didn’t have to.” you told them, looking at each of them as they smiled at you.
“Anything for our little bird.” James said, making Sirius slap him in the arm. “What?” he asked, rubbing the side of his arm.
“What he said.” Sirius said after, shaking his head before he leaned down “Night, love.” He placed a kiss on your cheek, letting go of your hand as they all bid their goodbyes to you in a chorus.
“Night.” you whispered, reaching a hand to your cheeks as the name he called you made its way into your cheeks in the form of a warm feeling.
How did he manage to have such an impact on you with one word?
You lazily walked to your dorm, dropping on your bed with all the weight of your body. The ceiling became the only surface you could stare without having a burst of thoughts, making the ones you did have to make some sense. Love. Many used that word to refer to anyone dear to them. James had called you that the first time you ever talked to him. And yet, Sirius made it sound different, it carried more than the term of endearment anyone would use on a daily basis.
You shook your head with the sudden burst of more thoughts. Of course Sirius saying it carried more, he had been clear about his feelings towards you since day one. Why did it confuse you out of the blue now? You know how he feels. Merlin, you know what you feel. You had been fighting those same feelings for months now, trying to keep them buried and under lock and key so they would never see the light of day because that would mean hurting someone you cared about.
If Regulus had already hurt you, why did you feel so guilty for even considering Sirius in your future?
*******
“What do you mean she was defending Regulus?” Sirius asked, feet propped up over the armrest of the couch as he stared with a frown at his best friend.
James had tried to stay silent and not let anyone know the real reason you had punched Gideon on the face. He genuinely tried. James Potter is a great liar, but he can’t lie to the ones who taught him how to do it in the first place.
“We knew she wouldn’t be able to stay away from all the rumors.” Remus said, matter of factly “We heard them all ourselves.”
“Well, the rumor literally was thrown on her face.” James said with a tight smile “Gideon didn’t even soften the blow,” he murmured, making air quotes with his fingers “The snake finally revealed itself.”
“He’s not wrong.” Peter murmured, the silent agreement of everyone there not making it any less uncomfortable. “But it makes sense, Regulus is Y/N’s best friend.”
“Was.” Sirius corrected him, looking at Peter grimmly from where he sat.
“Is,” Peter repeated, not letting Sirius’s glare get to him “He might have done terrible things but that doesn’t erase their history.”
The silence that fell over the four boys weighed over their shoulders as Peter’s words sank in. “They all see Regulus as the bad choice she made, she had always been criticized for being his friend and no one dared to look in her direction because of that.”
“Until now.” James mumbled, fumbling with his hands as he went to sit down.
“She has me.” Sirius said with a frown, sitting up as he rested his arms over his knees.
“Maybe knowing that she won’t stand there in silence to their comment will make them think twice about approaching her.” James offered, looking at the hurt look on Sirius’ face “And she has you Pads, but you won’t always be around her.”
“I know.” he groaned, running his hands over his face.
Silently, Sirius had more on his mind than he was letting the others know. Worry filled him to even think people might thought it was a good idea to bring up your situation about Regulus. From experience, he knew it was a terrible idea.
The fact that you still found it in yourself to stand up for Regulus even after everything he had done surprised him to no end, definitely something that would keep his mind going at night. Why would you do that? He had so many questions and little space to ask you about it.
He still felt like he was handling a heart of glass when it came to you. Beautiful. Delicate. Sharp and fragile. As much as he wanted to give his everything to you he didn’t know how.
He had gotten this far with you with patience and a careful approach, he couldn’t risk it all to get answers on what was going on inside your head. He had come to terms with the fact that even if he didn’t like it, Regulus would always be a part of your life, one way or another. Even now, feelings hurt and friendship broken, Regulus managed to sneak up onto you, weeks of not saying a word to the other and he still was perfectly present.
Sirius had never been able to brush off all reminders of his past with his family. Somehow, his parents or Regulus found their way to him. He tried, but not even physical distance seemed to work. Every day, his last name being called was a subtle call on where he came from and what he had run from, something he never seemed to outrun.
Being with you meant he would never be able to do so. He was doomed.
And yet, he wasn’t with you. You had been clear and had granted him the one thing he wished for the most. He dreamed with the feeling of your lips against his, the urgent grasp of your hand on him as you pulled him to you, the ghostly air of your lips against his once you pulled away.
Things have changed now.
The day he would remember until the day of his death was the day the world had fallen around you and he had seen it. He had been there, waiting to catch you once the inevitable fall hit you.
How the most glorious day in his life had turned so dark, he didn’t understand. He sometimes wondered how you remembered the day. He wanted nothing more than to ask you but knew that going around picking on a healing wound would leave a scar. He had gotten to know you enough to be certain it wouldn’t be the only scar you collected.
He could be patient. He could wait.
*******
Regulus Black sat on the corner farthest away from all the noise and people the library brought. For a supposedly quiet space he found it quite loud.
Contrary to popular belief, he didn’t go around life looking for the darkest shadow to stand on, he had been looking for a source of light for years with no luck. His table got the sunlight from a nearby window, the warm light casting flicker through the tinted glass on his hand. His fingers tapped on the book open before him, playing a song from memory on the paper keys of the piano he could perfectly see. His teeth nibbled on the skin of his lower lip, his free hand covering his mouth as he stared in thought at the distance outside the castle.
Sometimes, he could still hear your voice calling on him to focus on the task at hand.
“Reg.” you would say, using your mom voice as you reached to squeeze his hand, grounding him in the present moment “You need a moment?” Always so caring, so preoccupied even when you didn’t understand all that was going on inside of his mind. Outside in his life. “C’mon.” you’d say, forcing him to pack his things and get up from the table “We’ll finish this later tonight.”
He shook his head, letting out a shaky breath as he lowered his gaze. The words had started to get mixed up in his head hours ago, turning page after page with no phrase sticking to his mind. He had stacks of parchment piled up to his left, the assignments from weeks waiting for him to do something about them. He didn’t have the time.
The heaviness of the letters sitting on the small pocket of his bag doing nothing better to improve his condition. He knew he couldn’t ignore life forever, and all that he wanted was to lay on his bed and let the days go by.
His head perked up when he realized, this time, he hadn’t imagined your soft chuckle. His eyes lifted suddenly, your frame he would recognize in a crowd of Ravenclaws making its way through the shelves with that first year boy that seemed to follow you everywhere. He had talked to him sometimes.
He could see your face through the small openings in between the books and the next shelf, bringing your finger up to your lips in an attempt to shush him while you could barely keep quiet yourself.
“Take this one.” you whispered with humor as you handed him a small leather book from the lower shelf “This can help with your essay and this one is the history of those potions, so you’ll get all facts right.” you took one more book, placing it on the pile the boy carried in his arms. Félix, that is his name.
Félix struggled with the weight of it, but managed to carry them nonetheless. “Have you read all these?” he asked with concern.
You chuckled, the shush coming from other tables making your smile grow and your cheeks heat up. But as soon as you looked for an answer, your face lacked his usual brightness, your eyes falling as you turned to the books instead “Not all of them.” you answered “I had help, Regulus used to read some books and I read others. In the end we discussed all that we read and started our work.” you told him, a tight small on your lips.
You still spoke his name.
He watched as the two of you left, a shadow following you with your mood now dampened.
What if he went to you? To Sirius? The heavy feeling of his bag reminded him what was at stake and all hopes of getting to talk to you once more, to walk next to you died in the flash of the images from last winter. It was better this way.
*******
You needed sleep. Not just for being a functioning witch student and human being but because your mind won’t let you focus on anything that is not Sirius Black. He plagued your mind day and night, his voice echoing your every thought with that one word. Love. You ached for him to call that once more.
You needed to put your mind at ease as well. What was Sirius Black to you? A friend, someone you trusted and could spend hours with with no problem at all. The feeling of guilt towards Regulus was washed off of you in a moment of decision, marching the halls of Hogwarts with determination in search for the Gryffindor.
You knew what you wanted.
It was easier said than done, he could be anywhere in the castle. But once you found the source of laughter and followed it, it took you no time to find him standing over a balcony with wide eyes and a smile.
“Sirius.” you called, jogging to him to end the space between you two.
He turned his face to you, his eyes glinting as he glanced down the balcony and back to you “Hello.” he said with a smile.
“I need to talk to you.” you said, watching as he fumbled his hands, his attention drifting from you. Not that you noticed “You see,” you began, resting your body on the railing of the balcony, your back to the world as you avoided looking at Sirius “I have been asking myself, and believe me I have looked at it from every perspective…”
“Yes?”
“It has been keeping me up at night and I’ve come to the conclusion that I cannot arrive at an answer on my own so I need to ask you.”
He hummed and nodded, palms down on the railing as he doubled his body to see down on the lower floor.
“We’re friends, right?” you asked, glancing at him suspiciously before you continued.
“Of course.” he answered immediately, his eyes widening as he took a step back from the balcony, kneeling beside his bag as emptied all the contents on the floor “Why do you ask?”
“Not important,” you said with the wave of your hand “What if we weren’t friends?” you asked suddenly.
His body tensed up from his position on the floor, his back hunched “I-I don’t know.” he answered shakily “Are you breaking our friendship?” he asked, turning his full attention to you for the first time.
“What?! No.” you scoffed, seeing his body relax. Good sign. “I mean…” you paused, thinking about your next words.
He got up from the floor, standing next to you. He took one glance down, then turned to you “You mean?” he asked when you stayed silent.
“I mean, what if we weren’t friends?” you said again, raising your eyebrows and watching his face contort in confusion.
“You don’t want to be friends?” he asked, making you groan. Footsteps carried the sound from down the hall, making Sirius’ attention perk up as he almost threw himself down the railing to take a look.
“Nooo.” you said, running a hand down your hair. Your eyes light up, turning to him “More than friends.” you said victoriously.
“Right.” he mumbled, his attention away from you as his brow furrowed “Hold this for me, love.”
There it was again. The single word that started all the mess inside of you. It left you frozen in place, a dizzy feeling inside of you as you held your palm out for him. He placed a green sphere on your hand and you could only stare at him with a dry mouth. All words had left your system.
He took one last look down the railing, and then whistled once in the air. A series of whistles followed as you then saw Peter run out of the hall just down from where you stood. Sirius almost jumped out of his skin, taking the sphere from your hand and throwing it in the air. A shot of light came from one of the highest towers and you didn’t see anything else as Sirius pulled you to the ground, covering you with his body.
Whines and curses followed soon as the bright light cleared up, Sirirus peeking over the railing as one single laugh left his lips. It didn’t last long.
“Black!” you heard professor McGonagall “Potter!” she followed.
“Shit.” Sirius chuckled nervously, grabbing all the thing on the floor and throwing it inside his bag. “C’mon, let’s go.” he said hurriedly, taking your hand in his as he pulled you with him.
You didn’t have time to protest or say a thing, following close behind him as it was nearly impossible to fall behind with the secure grip he had on your hand. Professor McGonagall’s shouts could be heard as you ran, following paths and taking turns you had never seen before. You ended up outside the castle in less than two minutes when you heard your name being called. You held onto Sirius’ hand tighter, turning in the middle of the chase to see Professor McGonagall standing in at the doors of the castle with a glare on her face. You couldn’t help when a burst of laughter emerged from you, a smile permanent on your lips as you recognized the path Sirius was following.
You stumbled into your hideout, out of breath and clutching your chest for more air. “What. was. that?” you asked, looking at him through your lashes as he straightened his posture with a smile.
“That?” he said, pointing his finger back to the castle “A little nothing.” he said with a shrug.
“McGonagall was behind us.” you said, still catching your breath.
“Nothing to worry about.” he waved his hand, walking closer to you. “You okay?” he asked.
“She saw me!” you scoffed a laugh “I mean, she called my name.”
Sirius suddenly became worried, lowering his head to look at you “Are you mad?” he asked.
You frowned, straightening your back to look at him “Mad? That was amazing!” you yelled excitedly, still feeling the rush of it all cursing through your veins. “Woah.” you whispered, a hand on your forehead as you looked at him, the entire reason you had been looking for him coming back to you like a splash of water.
“I think I love you.” you said, a smile forming in your face.
Sirius's entire face sobered up, from the rush of the prank to the worry of getting you in trouble. He suddenly was pulled back to earth when those three words coming from your mouth entered his system.
“What?” he whispered.
You let out a shaky, breathy laugh. Confidence overtaking you “I love you.” you repeated with a smile.
Sirius slowly took a step towards you, his eyes never leaving you. He shakily took hold of your hand, his mouth opening with the words being snatched of his tongue as three figures stumbled right behind Sirius.
The moment broke, your bubble burst open as you moved your head to the side, glancing at Sirius “You told them about this place?” you asked.
He didn’t answer.
“We followed you here.” James said, dropping to the floor as he took big breaths in, Remus and Peter following him.
Your attention shifted to Sirius again, his eyes now gleaming as he took you into his arms and held you tightly, placing his chin on top of your head. “I love you too.” he said.
Peter stared at you before he met the confusion on James and Remus’ faces. “What just happened?”
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: A little angsty, mentions of blood purity.
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Clouds moved like the flowy fabric of the skirts of a thousand dancers in the sky, you could almost picture the routine they followed. One step to the right, placing one foot behind the other in two steps to raise their leg as high as their body allowed them to then twirl in their spot to end the scene. The trees were the instruments that played the music for the sky dancers, moving in sync with them until the sky turned grey completely.
Your elbow moved to the rest over your knee, placing your head on top of your fist with the slight tilt of your head. It was doomed to be a cloudy day, the rain threatening to start falling down over you sooner than you would like. It had been a rather beautiful day until you had come out of the castle, not giving it a second thought as to the reason why it had turned so gloomy. Since you were a child you had believed you had power over the weather, no doubt your own mood had reflected itself on the sky as soon as you left the walls of the castle behind.
With a low breath out, your hand reached for the book you carried inside your bag, getting it open on the place you had placed one of your pressed flowers. Parchment and ink followed soon after as you started reading, lazy writing of whatever ideas you thought important for your assignments. Paragraph after paragraph of information turned in one chapter of the book, placing your quill down to go over what you had written one last time before putting it away. You didn’t hear the low ruffle of grass behind you.
“I thought I’d found you here.”
You perked your head up from your notes, turning with a small smile. “A true detective.” you said, moving your things to make space next to you.
Sirius smiled, sitting with his legs stretched out “What can I say? I’m more than just a pretty face.” he said proudly, throwing his head back with a dramatic flip of his hair.
You snorted at that, taking one glance at his over the top confidence. You shook your head and pushed his shoulder with little force.
He chuckled lightly, opening his eyes and straightening his posture. He moved his legs to sit criss crossed, looking carefully over you. “What are you doing?” he asked, reaching his arm over you and taking your book in his hand “History of magic.” he read, a look of disgust on his face when he returned it to you. “Well, I can’t help with that one.”
You took the book back, putting it inside your bag as you stuck your tongue in his direction “I don’t need help.” you told him “Just doing some reading to make sure I have all the correct facts.”
He hummed, grabbing your hand and lifting it in the air. He took it closer to his face, playing with your fingers as you watched him, the ideas running across his eyes. “It’s almost time for dinner.” he said, his eyes finding yours. He suddenly got up to his feet, never letting go of your hand as he held it in his stance “And unless you want a late shower I’ll advise we get going.” he tugged your hand, helping you up as you both looked at the sky. It was getting windier, the feeling of a breeze hitting your face.
He guided you out of your hideout, throwing your bag over his shoulder as his other hand held onto yours.
Your eyes wandered over the familiar grey sky, looking for the sun you had been able to see when you got outside. “How long was I outside?” you asked him, turning slowly to him.
He glanced at you, eyes drifting to the front as he shrugged his shoulders “A couple of hours.” he said, voice carefree.
With a nod, you lowered your head. It felt like an eternity.
“Hey,” he called with a squeeze on your hand “You need help with herbology, right? Maybe we can ask Mary for help, she’s good.” he said, his eyes widening as he turned his face to you “Better yet, let’s ask Alice. She could give the class if they’d let her.”
You laughed under your breath, nothing but a flutter in your heart at Sirius’ attempts to keep your head busy and to cheer you up. The only genuine smiles that had appeared on your face the last couple of days had been drawn by none other than Sirius. He refused to let your head wander for too long, spending every chance he had with you. You were thankful for that, for him, but you still appreciated the silent moments where you could reflect on what had happened. How your life had turned in a matter of minutes, by the force of one single conversation where you suspected Regulus had been honest for the first time since you met him.
You still hoped for the moment you would wake up from this bad dream.
“Y/N.”
Wide eyes turned to the call of your name, Sirius looking down at you with a knowing smile.
“I was telling you that you could sit with us if you don’t want to be at your table.” he offered “It’s only at breakfast you have to be at your table, and only on weekdays. I’m just saying that you could be the cool girl who sits at the Gryffindor table.” he wiggled his eyebrows, letting you go first on the narrowed stairs that led to the castle.
“I’m already the cool girl, thank you.” you said, satisfaction written over your features “I don’t need you for being the cool girl.”
“Ouch.” he said out loud, following you just a couple of steps down from where you walked, “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” he said, swatting the words as if they were floating on the air, “ Just imagine how much cooler you’ll be.”
You turned to him with a questioning look, but said nothing about it. “Félix sits with me during meals.” you told him as he took his place at your side again “He doesn’t have lots of friends.” you whispered as if he could be near to hear you.
“Hm, just like Moony.” Sirius added, smiling tightly when you turned to him in confusion “Remus.” he corrected himself, “You could bring him too, he already is Remus’ shadow.”
You shook your head “Maybe another day.”
Sirius nodded, leaving the offer out for you to take as he suspected you had other reasons to refuse him. He knew better than to push you.
*******
Your eyes fluttered open with the faintest sound coming from the common room. You stared at the ceiling of your bed, the deep blue color almost hypnotizing as your eyes didn’t move from it for minutes. In the end you decided it was time to get out of bed, moving the covers from your body and sitting on your bed.
The rest of the beds from your roommates were already empty, no trace of them anywhere as your feet touched the cold floor. You dragged yourself to the bathroom and got ready for the day.
Face washed and robes on, you were on your way out. The stairs were empty and when you got to the couches and empty tables you realized it was probably late. You really didn’t care, the more you could avoid being in the same room as him the better. Walking out of the door, the empty space in your heart echoed louder than before when you stood on the empty stairs, waiting for someone you knew will no longer be there to wait for you in the mornings. You took a shaky breath in, looking around for anything that could bring you some kind of comfort. Nothing worked. So you bit the inside of your cheek and started to walk down the stairs, making slow work on getting to the Great Hall.
Félix was waiting for you with a smile on his face. He had saved you a space across from him, moving the pile of papers he carried with him for you to sit. He seemed cheerful, almost excited.
“I hope you didn’t have coffee.” you said with the raise of your eyebrow, voice raspy as it was the first time you spoke. Your voice felt foreign to yourself, making you doubt your next words, Félix taking the lead in the conversation quickly.
“Not much,” he rushed to say, placing his palms down on the table as he leaned in your direction “Guess what?” he asked, nodding his head eagerly.
You looked up in thought, grabbing an apple and throwing it inside your bag “Tell me.”
“You have to guess.” he said back.
You shook your head, letting air out through your mouth “Did you find those bowtruckles you were looking for?” you asked, he shook his head “Your project, you nailed it.”
“Nope.”
“Well tell me, I don’t read minds.” you said.
He easily gave in, not putting up much of a fight anymore “Sirius said we could sit with them during dinner.” he explained, your eyes widening as you glanced briefly over his shoulder and to the gryffindor table.
“Did he?” you asked, meeting his gaze across the room. His innocent smile as he watched Félix practically bouncing on his seat enough to tell he knew exactly what he did. “He told you that?” you asked Félix with a knowing smile.
“Well,” he thought before he answered “Remus told me, but Sirius said I should tell you too. You’re welcome, by the way.” he said smugly.
“For what?” you asked in a gasp.
“Now you get to sit with the boy you fancy during dinner and it’s all thanks to me.”
Your mouth was open in a perfect circle, staring with shock at the boy in front of you. If only he knew it was him who should be thanking you.
Sirius wasn’t the boy you fancied anymore. You weren’t certain what Sirius Black was to you and it brought down a wave of panic you hadn’t realized was hovering over your head. Nothing had changed, not really. But you couldn’t say you were just friends after he asked to kiss you and you didn’t even think twice about it before you pulled him to you. You hadn’t had the chance to even think about it.
“Yeah.” you mumbled “Thanks Félix.”
******
All day you had felt like the halls of Hogwarts were truly hunted. Eyes on your back every way you turned as low whispers followed your every breath and move.
You had been successful in avoiding Regulus for the day, sitting the farthest away from him and always in the company of one of the few people in the class you could call a friend. You got to class at the very last minute not to be late and were always the first one to leave the classroom. you were sure they must think you were paranoid, running from class to class with barely a word out, always keeping to yourself and not once stopping to wait for your best friend.
Rumors apparently fly at Hogwarts.
It was your last class, you had been able to finally relax as the rest of the day you could be anywhere else that he wasn’t. You felt your muscles let go of the tension as you focused on class.
Once the teacher dismissed you, you made your way through the longer path to the courtyard, the emptiest corridors where you could just let go. Or you thought.
A group of students wearing red was making their way opposite to you, their lively chatter going down as the one talking made eye contact with you. Her smile widened as she turned to her friends with a hushed tone, all eyes falling on you as they smiled.
You didn’t stay long to find out what they were talking about, hurrying your steps to get out of there. It didn’t make a difference once you got to the library. Every step you took meant another pair of eyes looking in your direction, a mix of disgust and pride in their glances as you ran your fingers over the spines of the books and fought the urge to snap at them. You did your best to ignore them.
Until you listened closely.
You had taken a seat at the table closest to the sunlight, a couple sitting just a few chairs to your left.
The boy followed the trail of her eyes and frowned. It was the first time he ever saw you. “What is it?” he asked.
“Hey, what about this as an introduction.” the boy said, turning his parchment to the girl. “Liz?” he called when she didn’t answer. You got curious, glancing in her direction, not expecting to meet her eyes as she snapped her gaze away from you. You shifted in your seat but said nothing.
She turned to him, leaning in “Didn’t you hear?” she asked him, cocking her head in your direction “Someone finally chose the better Black brother.”
Your body turned to stone, eyes blank as you stared at her before drifting back inside of your head. You didn’t stay there to hear what else they had to say, hurriedly grabbing your bag and fleeing the library.
You rushed through the halls without a care of where you were going, turning your body to avoid clashing against other people. It became overwhelming, every word, every whisper felt directed at you.
It didn’t take long for the outspoken to find you. “But if it isn’t the little ravenclaw that finally woke up.” he cheered, raising his arms in the air as if it was a reason for celebration.
You stop dead in your tracks, slowly turning to him. You felt the rush of blood through your veins, the panic you felt at first melting away with the boiling of your blood.
“You finally saw that slytherin boy for what he truly is. Sirius surely opened your eyes.” he said with a smirk, elbowing his friends in laughter.
“What did you say?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper. You moved slowly towards him, the hard feeling of your wand inside the pocket of your robe making the tip of your fingers tingle.
“C’mon.” he said, elongating the word “The snake finally revealed itself, didn’t he?”
Your hands closed into fists as you let go of your wand “That’s it.” you growled, marching towards them as your fist connected with the right side of his jaw.
Time seemed to slow down around you, his friend’s eyes widened in shock as he brought his hand to the side of his face, anger flashing on his eyes as he turned to face you. You were already moving on him again, your right fist in the air as a strong pull from your waist and a hand around your wrist started time again.
“Woah woah woah.” said the voice from your back, putting you down facing opposite to them as he turned again. “Easy little bird.” he said to you, as you spun on your place, angrily glaring up. You frowned in confusion as he held you and the other boy back.
“You’re friend there has moves, Potter.” he grunted, eyes grounded on you as you stared at James from your spot behind him.
“I know.” he admitted with a smile, not even in the middle of breaking up a fight could he take things seriously “What can I say? She’s a Gryffindor at heart.” he said, glancing at you warningly before he turned with ease at the rest of the boys “What- uh, what did you say to her, Gideon?” he asked, and you fought his hold that only eased a little.
Gideon ran his thumb over his lower lip, looking down at it and scoffing with humor behind it “Just congratulating her for finally seeing the younger Black was not it for her.”
James’ face fell for a second, glancing cautiously at you before he smiled tightly “Yeah.” he mumbled, finally letting go of you “She’s clever too. C’mon little bird, we got that thing waiting for us, huh?”
You only stared at him, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Potter.” said Gideon once James seemed ready to leave, “Look out for your friend, not everyone would be so willing to back up from a fight.”
James smirk returned to his face, raising his eyebrows “You let them know to leave her alone. She can fend for herself but Sirius and the rest of us won’t be so pleased if she shows up upset, you know? A dungbomb or two might get lost inside someone's bag.”
He raised his hands in defense “You said it.”
James turned in his spot, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he led you through the castle. He took turns and passageways you have never seen, the stairs once up and then down again before you gave up and just followed reluctantly. You didn't know how you ended up outside the castle just behind the greenhouse.
Your feet sunk a little on the tall grass, shoes leaving a trail of footprints as you realized someone had already walked this way before you.
“James?” you heard, lifting your head to find the brightest smile looking at him and down at you, the confusion clear in her eyes as her shine never faded “And Y/N.” she added, making your senses perk up as you had a hard time pin pointing her name.
“Hello Evans.” he greeted smugly, letting go of you as he swiftly placed a kiss on her cheek.
You just stood there, finally dawning on you. Red hair, bright green eyes and the kindest smile. Evans. Lily Evans.
“Are you alright?” she asked, taking a step towards you as she pointed to the grip you had on your hand, your knuckles starting to look a light shade of red.
“Little bird here was about to pick up a fight with Gideon.” James told her, leaning on the wall as he watched Lily take over.
“Gideon?” She laughed in surprise, and you nodded even if you didn’t know what they meant. “Remind me not to make you mad.” she told you, grabbing her bag from the ground as she handed you a small container “It’s pomade, for your hand.”
“Thank you.” you told her, sitting on the small bench there as they talked to each other. You already felt awkward being there, you didn’t need to intrude in what you assumed was their time alone.
You were more shocked when he talked to you again “You shouldn’t go around picking fights like that.”
You smiled humorlessly “You’re one to tell.” you said, making Lily snort on his side as he mockingly smiled back.
“He’s a fifth year, you’re a third year. He’s double your size, not very smart from you.” he pointed out “And why throw fists?” he asked confused, “I saw your wand, you had a better chance that way.”
“She has been around Sirius for too long.” Lily said with a smile.
“The punishment is worse for attacking a student with magic than punching them in the face.” you said, and James turned to Lily as if to check, her green eyes wide.
“Merlin, she is right.” she mumbled to James, and he nodded satisfactorily.
“Noted.” he said, looking back at you “Still, you shouldn’t be starting fights, much less because of him.”
Your eyes immediately turned to him, suddenly feeling exposed. You pressed your lips in a line, keeping in the sigh that in the end escaped you “I know.”
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you but people can get the wrong idea.” he said, the words that Malfoy had said to you that night brought back to the surface of your head. He was right, though. Fighting Gryffindors because they insult Regulus can give the wrong idea now that Hogwarts knew who he was spending his time with. And yet you didn’t care, you had it in you to defend Regulus even if it brought you down.
You rubbed your eyes, a groan leaving your lips as you hugged your legs “He’s my best friend.” you mumbled against your knees, pressing your eyes closed “Used to be.” you corrected, hiding your face in between your knees.
“You did what was right.” Lily said suddenly, a seriousness to his voice that overtook his kindness “You’re defending your own beliefs, yourself. There’s nothing more important.”
You and James looked at her, two different looks conveying the same feeling. Trust.
*******
You left them be with the promise to see them at dinner. Lily’s words brought a little rest to your soul. Even if you would do anything for Regulus and you cared for him like no one you had ever known, distance was a necessity. You couldn’t put the blame on you.
“Look who’s finally here.” James cheered as he saw you approach. You gave him a smile, waving at everyone until you reached an empty space.
“I have been looking for you everywhere.” you told Féli with a smile.
He just shrugged “You said see you at dinner.”
You rolled your eyes, ruffling his hair as he shook his head. Then you turned to Sirius who had a smile on his face.
“Not so bad, is it?” he said, taking a sip of his glass, looking at you through the brim of it.
“I’m just glad you’re here.” you mumbled, his face turning at the sound of your voice. He placed his glass down, looking around before he asked “Bad day?”
“Awful existence.” you groaned, letting your head fall softly on the table.
He finally chuckled, “Look who’s joking.”
You lifted your head, a barely there smile on your face as you started to fill your plate with dinner. Even surrounded by friends, with Sirius there and trying to just relax for the time being, you could feel the back whispers and the lingering eyes that dropped to you the moment someone passed by. It wasn’t helping the known pang of guilt you felt every time you found Sirius eased your pain, the throb of your heart stopped for a moment when he brushed his hand against your or he winked in your direction.
You allowed yourself to look past the students and to the usual spot of the Slytherin table where you knew you could find him, only for your stomach to drop. He wasn’t there.
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: Angsty, mentions of blood purity, hate due to blood purity.
A/N: I'm not sure about this one, I liked it but I feel like it could have been better. Please let me know what you think, it would really help me shape better the course of this fic.
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Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Your words were left floating in the air, almost being able to see them in front of you ast you stared at Regulus with hurt threatening to fall out of your eyes in the shape of tears. You held back though, held onto the rage that you once felt. Rage that once kept you up at night as the same two words that you had just said left Regulus’ lips in a cold statement. You could do nothing but hold his eyes as silence fell like a heavy fabric over you.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Regulus asked.
You stood there, body tense with anticipation of what he might say. You were prepared for him to face you straight and cut your heart with the truth, you were ready for him to try and apologize or for him to deny it all.
You felt that familiar warmth over your shoulder, the soft murmur of Sirius’s voice over your ear “Let’s go.” he asked with the lightest tug on your shoulder.
You didn’t move, turning your head to him as your eyes remained grounded on Regulus. “No.” you answered in Sirius's direction, placing your hand over his chest as you pushed him from you, moving to face Regulus closely. “No, I’m getting answers now.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/N.” Regulus said, defiance in his voice as he met your own stance.
“Then explain it to me!” you snapped, marking each word as your eyes widen in both stubbornness and desperation. Regulus stayed put, arms numb at his sides as he could only stare “You keep saying I’m wrong, that I don’t understand, then explain it all to me, please.” Your voice had gone higher, but only above a whisper. Pleading.
He said nothing.
“I know what I heard that night.” you whispered, standing straight. You moved your hands to lay over your chest, over the quick beating of your heart “It all started making more sense now, you know? How I’m the only one you talked to outside of Slytherin, the few friends you have and the new you ones you’ve made.” you told him, the many times you would catch him talking to some older Slytherihns replaying in your mind, the way Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape seemed to have taken a liking to talking to him. “How you never wanted me to go to your home or you never wanted to meet my parents.” you paused, watching for any sign of emotion in his face at your next words “My mother. You know she always asks me about this best friend I always talk about, how do I explain to her that the sweet boy, as she calls you, would rather she didn’t even look in his direction?”
“You got it all wrong.” Regulus said harshly. His features tensed up, his words getting stuck on his tongue for the first time since you first met him. “I’ve never cared about that.”
Behind you the scoff that left Sirius was clear for the two of you, capturing your attention as you turned in his direction “You don’t actually believe him, do you?”
“Stay out of it, Sirius.” Regulus hissed, his eyes an immediate glare as he met his brother. “You made your own choices and now I’m making mine. You have no business here.” he stated.
“You really expect me to leave her with you?” he asked incredulously, pointing a finger at him with a sardonic smile on his face. He was moving menacingly towards Regulus and you could only stand there and watch.
“Sirius.” you called his name but he wouldn’t listen. You were only a witness between the two brothers that finally spoke since they parted ways.
“We both heard what you said.” he told Regulus. They stood chest to chest, even if Regulus was younger he had always been tall, standing eyes to eye with his brother “Mom always taught you how to use your words because she knew you would never act up. Well guess what, Reggie?” he spat the old nickname, Regulus flaring at him with a stone look on his face “Your words will be no use now. You won’t talk yourself out of this.”
“How long have you been poisoning her mind?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Not as long as you have.”
Regulus glanced briefly at you, tilting his head to the side with narrowed eyes. His mouth was open just a bit but you could see the words forming on his tongue, the way thousands of ideas moved through him but he remained silent. His attention shifted completely to you, his entire body turning in your direction “So that’s why you asked so much about him.” he said, pointing a lazy finger at Sirius as he faced you “You ran to him the moment you were done with me.”
“Oh no.” you laughed humorlessly, shaking your head as you walked from behind Sirius “You’re not turning this on me. You’re better than that.”
“You think too highly of him.” Sirius said, pacing behind you in evident frustration. When silence met his words he turned again to the both of you, ignoring Regulus’ glare he chose to look at you “You don’t know him like I do.”
“You don’t know me at all.” Regulus cut through his words, venom dripping from his every word as he talked to Sirius.
“Don’t I?” Sirius said with humor, running his tongue over his lower lip in amusement. “Mum’s boy, Dad’s pride. You never gave their words a second thought as you blindly followed their every wish and command, if you did you would see the mess you have gotten yourself into. This is a stupid fight that their need for power has driven to the point of war and you’ll be on the loosing side of it.” he ended up yelling, his words echoing through the hall as he took a deep breath, running his hair out of his face as he turned to him one more time. “In the end you’ll be crawling back to us or you’ll be dead.” he finished in a whisper.
You sharply grasped Sirius' bicep, pulling him away from Regulus as you faced him “That’s enough.” you stated, turning to Sirius with a softer look “Both of you, it’s enough.” you said “Just leave, I have to talk to him alone.” Your eyes danced all over his face but he wouldn’t stop looking over your shoulder “Sirius, I’m not asking.” you said more sharply. He seemed to react to your change of tone, eyes finding yours in an upsetting manner.
“I’m not leaving you with him.”
“And I’m not asking.” you repeated.
You moved to turn on your heel as you walked past Regulus, he didn’t need to be told a thing as he turned to follow you. You could hear the heavy grunt that left Sirius, he could attempt to follow you but he knew better than to do that. The curses leaving him faded to nothing as you walked further away and inside the castle, not even your steps or Regulus’ making a sound as you felt tempted to turn and see if he was following you. You didn’t have to, you could feel his presence right beside you.
“I suppose you expect me to just ignore how close you seem to be with my brother.” he said bitterly, the sound of his words moving with his body as you never faltered and kept on marching.
“I expect you to mind your own business and stop avoiding the issue at hand.” you murmured harshly, glaring one time at him before your eyes snapped back to the way you were going.
“How long has this been going on?” he asked, keeping up with your fast pace easily as he was by your side in no time. He was met with silence. “I’m not an idiot.”
“You sure look like one now.” you grunted, not even gifting him with a glance.
“All your questions about him, how you snuck out more frequently than before all the changes that you made…”
“You are imagining things.” you said back, stopping in one balcony far away from the main halls, turning with your arms crossed over your chest. “He is my friend. Am I not allowed to have friends, Mr. Black?” you asked sardonically, using the tone to black out the memories from earlier that day, calling Sirius your friend made you feel like such a hypocrite. The line to call him friend had been long crossed.
“Don’t call me that.” he grumbled, bringing you back from inside your head. He rested his weight over the railing, his back turned to you “You know how I feel about him.”
“I thought I did.” you told him “I thought it was a typical brothers rivalry, not a fight that involves beliefs that could affect thousands of people. Regulus, the fact that you could even consider thinking they’re right is a statement of hate towards more than half of the people in this school. Have you considered that? Don’t you see the problem here?”
“Now it’s a problem.” he grunted “Don’t you see the place I hold because of those beliefs? Getting those bullies from Slytherin off your back, the fact that no one dares to look in your direction to bother you, how you get away with sneaking out late at night. Don’t you see it?” he asked incredulously.
“Stop!” you yelled, turning sharply at him with wide eyes “Stop excusing what you’ve done with good deeds. Stop acting as if this is in any way acceptable. Stop pretending that I’m your friend.” the words left your mouth, clear and out of breath as you spoke without a filter. The truth that you feared so much finally facing you in the form of Regulus. “You didn’t get them off my back, you practically commanded them.” you said “Why is it that they listen to you, huh?”
Silence felt heavy over Regulus as an unknown sting was felt over his heart “I have never pretended to be your friend.” he said lowly, his voice deep as his eyes lowered to his hands to then meet yours again “Why would you ever think that?”
You looked at him for a moment, holding his gaze while waiting for him to add something else, that he would say anything. “You have given nothing else but proof. What you said just now is not something a friend of mine would do, just someone hungry for power.”
“That’s not true.” he was quick to add, taking a step towards you “Y/N, you’re my only friend, I want nothing but the best for you.”
The sudden urge you felt to pull your hands from his grasp was quickly ignored as you tried to find truth in his words. “There was a time when I would have believed you.” you told him, his own hands falling from yours “You don’t realize you hurt me.”
He shook his head, standing straighter, “No,” he mumbled “How?” he asked, confused as his brow furrowed.
You smiled sadly at him tilting your head. The fact that he still asked and didn’t see the wrong he had done you, you couldn’t find your best friend in him, no matter how much you tried. “What was it about me that made you see past it?” you asked.
He looked baffled, his eyes narrowed in confusion as he searched for the meaning behind your words before he realized what you were asking.
“Is it the fact that I’m smart? That I can keep up with you? That I blindly defended you before anyone else, that I left all of my friends behind for you? What was it that made you look past the fact that I’m a half blood?” you asked again.
“It was never like that…”
“No?” you questioned, trying to push aside the bitter taste rising up your throat “You only talk to me when we’re here at Hogwarts. You refused to visit me or to invite me to your home. You couldn’t bear the thought that someone outside of Hogwarts could see you with me or my parents. What happens when we graduate? Will you forget I ever existed?”
He stayed silent, looking at you with nothing left to say. Thinking Sirius was right, he couldn’t talk his way out of this and you had had too many nights to let the thoughts simmer at the bottom of your mind.
“Of course not.” he said after a few moments in silence.
You had drifted apart, each one standing at an opposite wall in the hallway, backs resting against the stone wall as you left all the things that had been said settle in your minds.
“Is it really that bad?” he asked suddenly, the sound of his voice breaking your eyes from the sky.
“What is?” you asked confused.
“To think of a better world where only pure blood ran through our veins.”
You sighed heavily, running a hand down your face “Your veins.” you said back quickly, standing from where you rested to start pacing in short lines on the floor “Are you even listening to yourself?” you asked, eyes narrowed with your hand pointed at him.
“I thought you would understand.” he said, the genuine sound of his voice making you feel nauseous as you thought how could you ever have given him that impression. “What we can do is unique. Something the rest of the world could never even begin to imagine. Why is it so wrong to want to keep it safe, to protect it?”
“By keeping magic amongst pure blood families only?”
“Yes.” he breathed out and you took a step back.
You couldn’t even fathom the idea of what Regulus was talking about. The idea his family follows so closely, the one of Voldemort. Eliminating every single muggleborn just because of who their parents were, to have pure bloods rise in the pyramid of society even more just because of their last name, to have half bloods in a corner being enough to be kept alive. Your heart ached at the thought of Félix being gone, of many housemates tossed aside, of your mom being seen as less than any of you just because she didn’t have magic.
“I thought I knew you.” you told him, shock still keeping you glued to the ground “That you wouldn’t be foolish enough to believe those ideas.”
He laughed bitterly, shaking his head as he licked his bottom lip. He turned his face to you with his lips pressed on a thin line “Like Sirius?”
You closed your eyes for a moment, shaking your head low “Don’t bring him into this.” you asked pleadingly, but he wouldn’t hear you. You knew that.
He pointed his finger at you, a low fire burning in his eyes “He is a coward.” he whispered angrily “He ran to those who he calls family now, he hides behind this facade that he is better than all of us just because deep down he knows he never belonged.”
“At least he can admit this is madness!” you whispered desperately “Tell me you don’t believe this, Reg. Tell me this is all a joke and we can go back to what things were.” You were grasping to the bit of hope still shining inside your heart, the last glimmer of hope. “We can read at the library and bake cookies at midnight. We can spend entire days together, pretending we’re ghosts and taking silly pictures to place inside my secret box, please.”
You stared into his eyes, the gears inside his head turning so fast you didn’t know what was happening. What was real and what was just a bad dream you would wake up with the snap of your fingers.
“The ancient and most noble house of Black can be the most respected out of the rest.” your heart broke as soon as the words left his lips, the tears you had been holding back rolling one by one down your cheeks as he continued, voice filled with determination “No one would dare to lay a hand on you with just the say of any of us. I can protect you, you just have to let me do it.”
He extended his hand towards you and unlike many times, you felt a harsh pull that screamed at you to get away. His hand dropped from the air as soon as your eyes glanced from his face to his hand and back at him.
“Fine.” he said with a calm voice, movements slow and calculated “Go back to Sirius, then.”
“This is not about him!” you screamed, your tear stained cheeks and the ones sprouting from your eyes making it hard to see the cold face Regulus had placed over his hurt. “This is not about you or him. How can you not see how wrong you are, to think you are superior just because of blood? It’s madness.”
He stared at you, eyes void and face lifeless. “We are all making our choices.” he stated, taking your hand in his and brushing his thumb over your knuckles “Sirius did when he ran from home, you did when you chose to be friend and now to be close with him. I will make my own choices, Y/N.” he said, his grasp on your hand tighter in a reassuring way “I choose now to follow the path I was meant to.” he leaned his head, bringing his lip to softly place a kiss over your hand, his eyes meeting yours one last time before he dropped your hand, turning on his spot as he walked away, not another word said.
*******
The air blew softly through his hair as he impatiently paced in the same spot you had left him. Sirius only saw you walk with Regulus following close and he knew this wasn’t his fight anymore, even if every nerve in his system screamed for him to follow you, to carry you away if he had to, just to get you safe and away from the poisonous words of his brother.
He wasn’t the little kid he once knew. The boy who was a younger reflection of himself, hiding behind his door when his father’s voice got too loud or her mothers words got too harsh. He had become his own person and Sirius loathed what he had grown to be. Deep down he knew he couldn’t hate Regulus, he didn’t have it in him, but what he stood for, he could think of a thing or two he wished to say to his mother.
Footsteps captured his attention as he turned his head to the side, the hall that crossed revealing the shape of his brother as he walked past him, alone. He only turned to face Sirius once, eyeing him up and down. “Take care of her.” he said, leaving without another word.
Sirius didn’t think too much about it, running in the direction he saw him come. His head shot in all the direction as he ran through all the corridors, not once caring if he attracted the attention of the prefects. He called your name, looking for you everywhere until he finally found you.
Your face was down as you walked slowly in his direction, not completely aware of his presence.
“Y/N.” he called slowly, running in your direction.
Your head shot up at the sound of your name, and he saw you. Your eyes were red, even in the dim light of the night he could see that it had been a while since you started crying. He rushed to you, his hand finding the sides of your arms as he ducked his head to look into your eyes. He didn’t have the chance to say a thing when your hand shot to your mouth as you broke down in a sob, your knees giving in under your weight. Your body was shaking as Sirius’ arms got a hold of you, lowering the two of you to the ground as you cried in his shoulder.
He didn’t have the words to comfort you. No one did.
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: Angsty, Fluff.
A/N: It's 1:13 am for me, I just finished writing this part. Didn't proof read, hope it's good, hope I will like it in the morining. Thank you to @mvictoriae and Raven (Hi nonnie!) for giving me the motivation to write this fic. You're the best.
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The way to the dungeons was one unknown to you. The path got darker the more you went down the stairs, the stone walls of the castle got colder and the windows disappeared from all sight as no sunlight shone inside the halls.
The steps you thought were Regulus’ faded in the distance as you tried following them closely. In the end, the only thing you could hear was your own breathing and the slow dripping of water along the walls. You had been certain Regulus was just a few steps ahead of you, turning right on the last steps before you were facing the entrance to the Slytherin common room with a hall completely empty. You stood frozen in your spot for what felt like hours, a chill suddenly running all over your body, the warmth of your hands brushing against your arms not enough to make it go away.
Taking slow steps towards the door made you more aware of where you were. no one that had no real business with the house of Salazar Slytherin chose to go there willingly, there just wasn’t enough reason to not wait until the morning to have the Slytherins come out of the dungeons. But as you walked closer to the door you realized you had no way to enter the room, not even knowing if someone would answer if you dared to knock on their door.
“They’re just people.” you whispered to yourself, taking one confident step as you placed one foot in front of the other, your chin raised up as you faced the door with boldness in your eyes. “They can’t hurt you.” you said in the end, your knuckles making contact with the stones that made up the door.
Time seemed to slow as you waited, ending the closeness to the stone door by taking a step back and getting a fuller image of what you hoped would be a Slytherin opening the door.
No one came.
Minutes passed and you started to feel the nerves creep under your skin again, fingers playing with the front of your sweater as you waited and waited. The cold of the underground stone walls stronger than you had ever felt. Your breath turned into a thin cloud in front of your eyes, rubbing your hands together as you refused to give up.
With the spark of boldness still inside of you, you arranged the strap of your bag over your shoulder, pressing your lips in a line as you moved to the side of the corridor, resting your weight against the wall. If he wouldn’t come out to answer your call you would wait for him to come out of the room out of survival. Or until the night came and you had to go and meet Sirius. You wouldn’t give up so easily and he knew it.
*******
If measuring time by how many pages you have read or how many words you have written you would have a better skill at time management. Sadly, it was still a method that depended on the speed a person could go, defined by their brains and how immersed they were on the task, among other many possibilities you didn’t have the time to name.
Still, you could be certain that the sun was setting outside of Hogwarts if it wasn’t already dark outside.
With one last glance at the door you sighed in defeat, placing all your stuff inside your bag and standing from the ground. You dusted your clothes and stood straight, holding your hands in front of you as you stared, the stone door your worst enemy you could do nothing to but let it know how much you despised it by the look you held in your eyes. Narrow eyes with eyebrows frowned, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Could you even be angry at the door or you had to place your emotion over anyone, or in this anything, that wasn’t Regulus? You felt like kicking the door, yelling at all the Slytherins that stayed inside while you stood outside, at Regulus for avoiding you and being so distant. You wanted to scream.
Still, the vision of Regulus blurred inside your head as you sharply turned in your place and walked away from the dungeons. The black haired boy with eyes framing the perfect storm quickly turned taller, a charming smile on his lips as he gazed into the sky while you gazed at him. His frame leaned down on the railing of the astronomy tower as he watched the sunset, his eyes finding you not seconds after as he tilted his head to the side and listened to you talk, his eyes holding yours in what felt like another world. Nothing mattered in the reality he took you into. Not his name or his family, not your own best friend or messy life. It was the perfect reality where only you two existed.
The memories of Sirius Black in your secret meet ups melted all the anger inside of you, just enough to relax your face, just enough to pull the corners of your mouth into the smallest smile. You walked in the direction of the Castle entrance, ascending the marble staircase as the faint sound of stone brushing against stone faded in your mind.
*******
Sirius wondered if he should have a bruise on his thigh from all the drumming his fingers did on that one single spot every time he knew he was about to see you. It wasn’t a strong hit to his skin but over the months the small habit had turned more frequent. From once every two weeks, maybe once a month to once every week, to then doing it daily to the present when he could proudly state he did it multiple times a day. Just like that day. He had seen his brother all alone at breakfast and knew it was a matter of time before you made your appearance, he had his note written and his spot at his own table ready to jump in just as you walked by. No one who took a look at him would ever see the excited movement of his hands, hiding underneath the table as he pretended to pay attention to whatever James was rambling about, his eyes looking over his shoulder to see the exact moment you walked inside.
Your face once he took a hold of your wrist made his entire day as he barely avoided bursting out in laughter. You wanted to be upset, he could tell, but you were only fighting him for the show. The crowd of Gryffindors made it impossible for Regulus to see anything and you knew it, your shushed whispers only there for him.
Then the smile grew on his face as familiar whispers reached his ears, he shook his head in disbelief and turned to see inside the castle from where you were walking up the stairs. He observed you carefully, the tight grip on your bag and the almost painful steps you took. You were rambling to yourself again.
“...stupid wall.” you said, moving your hand inside your bag without any mind to the way you were going “One spell, one hex and it’s done for.” you muttered. The squeak that left your mouth as Sirius took hold of your shoulders and brought you outside the castle was definitely competition to his chuckle.
“And what’s gotten you in such a sour mood?” he asked, flashing his smile down to you once he let go of you.
You rolled your eyes, recovering from the surprise as you straightened your clothes “Walls and doors.” you mumbled angrily, eyes returning to your bag before you gave up on it.
He gave you a weird look but didn’t question you, looking up above you to see just what had you in that mood “We better get you away from the castle, then.” he told you, offering his hand “We’ve got some talking to do.” he said, the seriousness of the matter hidden behind his way with words. He made it sound as if you were about to gossip and have a laugh. You could only wish.
His hand had a secure hold around yours, dragging you behind him as if he was in some kind of rush. Your arm stretched all the way to his, connecting your bodies in a perfect way that had you suppressing a chuckle as you struggled to keep up with him.
“Wait!” you squealed, taking longer steps towards him. He didn’t give in to your request, only pulling your arm to him and forcing your body closer to him. To your sides, a blur of greens from the forest and blues from the lake made it only possible for your vision to focus on the boy in front of you. His silhouette was the one thing clear in your eyes, the fast pace in which he moved you making the wind blow over your cheeks. Only did he stop once you reached the curtain of vines hanging from the trees and covering the way inside your hideout.
“Don’t move.” he said, turning in your direction for a brief second before he walked out of your sight.
You nodded, trying to peek at whatever he had hidden “You do know it was me who showed you this place, right?” you asked loudly, your voice carried by the wind as well as his own chuckle. You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, taking one single step closer “You better hope everything it’s still intact and not flooded or burned.”
He stepped out with a hurt look on his face “Do you always think the worst thing?” he asked, offering his hand once again.
You took his helping hand, climbing into a rock to step just next to him “When it comes to you it is best to expect the most disastrous outcome.” you explained with a knowing look and the raise of your eyebrow.
His lips moved as he blew air out of his mouth, waving a hand in your direction “You’re no fun.”
You scoffed, following his form as he stood behind you. Your words died on your tongue as you watched him, his hand moving to the side of your face as he pointed it to the front “What are you doing?” you asked, moving your head back slightly.
“Covering your eyes.” he explained, not waiting for you to answer as everything turned dark for you.
It was a reflex really, your hands moving to place them over his to keep your balance and know where to move. “Can I trust you covering my eyes?” you asked doubtfully, still looking for a peak of what waited for you but following him nonetheless.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask that.” he said, his steps short and awkward behind you as he was used to strutting all over the school. He was moving too slow for Sirius Black.
Your mouth opened in disbelief. Even with your eyes covered, Sirius could feel the flutter of your eyelashes over his palms as you narrowed your eyes “Have you met yourself, Mr. Prankster, lord of The rules don’t apply to me?”
He laughed at your words, the sound a tickle in your left ear as he moved to your side and stopped walking “Just trust me this time. I mean you no harm.”
You knew it was hard to trust Sirius in pranks matters, he couldn’t resist the lure of a good laugh because of a perfectly played prank. Something in his voice made you give in. Just this time, right?
“Fine.” you sighed, squeezing his hand in a silent ask.
“Keep them closed.” he instructed, moving his hands away and walking to face you.
You did as he asked, standing still with your eyes closed softly, seeing all black.
“Open them.”
You didn’t wait any longer, your vision blurred for a second before everything became clear. But your eyes weren’t needed, not really. Soft music filling your ears before you could even muster a word. A soft, familiar tune played to your side. You followed the sound, a record player sitting carefully on the ground.
Your head turned slowly to Sirius, gaze staying on the record player before it landed on Sirius “That song…”
He nodded, a knowing smile on his lips “The one we danced to at the Winter party. Do you like it?”
The memories flooded your mind, hours of blissful time flashing inside your head in mere seconds. “It’s beautiful.”
His smile turned prideful as he got closer to you, a look of satisfaction on his face “Only the best for you.” he said in a hushed tone yet you heard him perfectly.
Biting the inside of your cheeks, you turned with a hurt look on your eyes “Sirius.”
“Don’t.”
“I thought you understood.” you whispered.
“I do understand.” he stated with a firm nod “I just don’t accept it.”
“We’re friends.” you said before he could say anything else.
The hope washed out of his face as he turned to the side, facing the sky while shaking his head “We both know that’s not what we’re meant to be.”
A breathy laugh escaped you, a small smile forming on your lips “Since when did you become a hopeless romantic?”
He smiled too, biting down on his lip to keep his retort in “I’ve always been one. Just not in front of you and I won’t deny it any longer.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s you that I’m losing.”
You knew you shouldn’t have asked. The curiosity killed you inside and you couldn’t help but wonder what he would say now that he wouldn’t face you, that his walls were down and his pride away. Now you have your answer.
“Haven’t I made this obvious? Or is it not clear?” he asked, for the first time his own emotions coming raw as he spoke “Do you want me to spell it out for you?” he laughed, a hint of desperation mixing with his words.
He took a step to you, taking both of your hands in his “I want you to stay with me. Forget about my brother, don't think about houses or names. It’s just us now, here.”
Your eyes moved all over his face, unable to keep them still or to hold his gaze. You were frozen in place.
“I can’t.” It was the one thing you whispered, the closeness making your voice small as he looked down to you, a smile on his face as he moved one hand to cup your cheek, moving a piece of hair behind your ear.
“I know.” he said, matching your voice “But do you want to?”
Your heart quickened as soon as the words left his mouth, the answer on the tip of your tongue and out of your lips before you could even try to stop yourself.
“Yes.”
Contrary to what you might have thought, he didn’t move an inch. His eyes had a gleam to them that you had never seen, the pure light of happiness crossing the grey of his eyes.
And you, you felt calm. The one word you had always wanted to say to him, out loud now out of your body and free to reach his ears. A peace you didn’t know you longed for filling your body as the bliss of your truth warmed you. You couldn’t help the nervous laugh that left your mouth as you met his gaze once more, your smile growing on your lips as you broke into a fit of giggles.
He ran his knuckles over your cheekbone, his eyes running all over your face as he admired the light you brought to him with just a smile.
“Y/N.” he called, running the pad of his thumb over your cheek and cleaning the single tear that escaped your eyes. You kept yourself from talking and nodded.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked, “Just this time.”
Your eyes widened but betrayed you all at once, falling to his lips briefly before returning to look at him. No words could help you now, placing both of your hands over his cheeks and standing on your tiptoes before you closed your eyes.
He leaned in just as quick as he felt your hands against his skin, the cold of your lips against the warmth of his a mix neither of you could begin to explain. It was overwhelming, the flood of emotions you both set free connecting by the touch of your lips against one another. It was a dance you had waited for a long time, not rushing into it but never going too slow to make it more excruciating.
You didn’t realize how close you had gotten until the need to breathe became unbearable. At some point his arm had hugged you by the waist, pushing you flush against him while one of your hands rested on his chest.
You looked at him, out of breath and with the brightest smile you had felt on yourself in weeks, his forehead rested against yours, none of you ready to let go.
If you could have captured a moment inside a bottle, this would have been it.
*******
You shouldn’t have been walking outside of the castle so late at night. You shouldn’t have been a bright mess walking inside the halls of Hogwarts on a Thursday night. You should have let go of his hand the moment you hear the footsteps behind you.
“Y/L/N.” Someone called, you would have reacted faster if it wasn’t for the reflex squeeze your hand did on his or because of the unknown voice calling your name.
Your head turned sharply at the voice, furrowed eyebrows looking at them in question. No words needed.
They paused at the sight of Sirius by your side, a look of disgust forming on their faces before they settled back on you.
There were three of them. One you recognized with no trouble, Severus Snape. He had a target on his back for all the pranks Sirius and his friends love to pull around the school. Lucius Malfoy, everyone knew who he was, it was impossible not to when he walked like he owned the school. Beside them, a brunet boy who had written trouble all over his face and the way he stood. He was the one who spoke first.
“Rumor has it you had been wandering the entrance of the Slytherin common room.” he said, a snarky smile on his lips.
You looked at him in disbelief, so they had seen you. “So what if I have?” you asked him, looking at the others challengingly.
He clicked his tongue, looking at the others who barely moved a muscle in their face as if he didn’t believe what you said “It would be best if you didn’t, darling.” he said, eyeing you up and down before Sirius took a threatening step in front of you. The boy ignored Sirius completely, his eyes on you all the time.
“Best for her to avoid snakes like you, wouldn’t you think, Snivellus?” Sirius spat. You called his name in a whisper but said nothing, turning back as someone cleared his throat.
“We just don’t want people getting the wrong idea.” Lucius said, calm as ever as he presented himself with the decor of his name.
You smiled bitterly, finally letting go of Sirius’ hand as you got closer to them “And what idea would be that?”
“Y/N.” Sirius called suddenly, his voice low as he grasped his wrist. You didn’t move, a wound you thought healed opened once more.
You should have listened to Sirius.
“Leave her alone.”
Your eyes snapped at the sound of a familiar voice, one the old you would have thought to be asleep at the moment now standing right in front of you.
“I’m taking care of things, Black.” Malfoy said.
You focused on trying to ignore the flinch in Sirius’ arm.
“I said leave her alone.” he repeated, placing himself between you and the three Slytherin before you “I’ll take care of things now.”
“Like you did before?” the brown haired boy asked.
“Mind your business, Crouch.” Regulus snapped.
“And your brother?” Lucius asked, watching over Regulus' shoulder and to Sirius.
Regulus glanced back before he shifted his body “I’ll take care of things now.” he said again, and left it at that.
Lucius considered him for a moment before he moved his head away like he didn’t care at all “Fine.” he stated, poking one finger on Regulus chest “You know what’s at stake, Black.” he whispered only for him.
Like that, the three Slytherins left the corridor as if they had never been there. the only thing left the quick beat of your heart.
Regulus turned on his place once they could no longer be heard, his eyes moving from your face to Sirius’ and to the grip of his hand on your wrist. He started to walk, stopping right beside you. “Let’s go.” he said.
You stared at him, tilting your head to see if he was being serious. “No.” you answered.
He blinked quickly, turning his face to the side. “It’s late, I’ll walk you to your common room. Let 's go.”
“I don’t think I want to.” you whispered, taking a step back, one step closer to Sirius.
They both meet eyes for a second before Regulus turned to face the both of you, his lips pressed in a line, now looking at you “So you’ll go with him?” he asked “What are you even doing with him?”
“I could ask you the same.” you responded “What are you doing with them?”
“You already know.”
“Do I?” you said, getting your hand from Sirius grasped as you pointed at him “Or should I go for answers in the only place I have gotten them? The only place where I was really appreciated to get the truth?”
Regulus stared blankly at the wall behind you before he acknowledged Sirius for the first time “What did you say to her?”
Sirius scoffed bitterly, looking at his brother for the first time “The truth.”
You looked for something in Regulus’ eyes, over his face, his features. A sign that your best friend was still there. You got nothing but a glare.
“I guess I wasn’t pure enough for the whole story.”
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: None (Let me know if there's any, though)
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Everything around you felt surreal. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do, so you did nothing. The mornings in the castle felt like a dream until the sleep wore off of your head and you remembered the look on Sirius's face when he explained everything, when he opened your eyes to the hard truth. It was every morning that you hugged your pillow tighter as you turned in your bed, burying your face in the soft material with your eyes closed shut. When you opened them again nothing changed and you got out of bed with a sigh and the weight of knowledge in your heart. Your house was known for the value you gave to knowledge and wisdom, but whoever had said that ignorance was happiness had been more wise than everyone dared to admit. You were now proving their theory true.
You wanted to go back to the days where Regulus' only fault was his serious and intimidating demeanor and your only worry was to make him smile and win in your small competitions. It was hard enough to have the knowledge you did now but to see him and still see your best friend was worse. You met him in the mornings in the empty corridors of the castle, the sun barely rising as you walked heavily to get to him. A weight in your heart making you slower as you dreaded the moment you got to see him, the moment where you will finally see him for the facts you knew were true.
But as soon as he heard your steps, turning in his spot with the smallest smile on his face as he waited for you, everything faded away. All the words you heard from him, all the words Sirius had spoken to you, every detail that shook you to the core turned to snow in the warmth of the sun, melting away to leave nothing behind. He would wish you a good morning and you would answer with a new remark every single day, making the smirk pull on his lips as you turned into a storm of retorts until you reached the Great Hall.
The sight of his softened features in your direction making every doubt erased from your mind. How could he be what you and Sirius accused him to be?
Not an accusation, said the little voice in the back of your head. The truth.
And still you had your best friend. Your family. Your one person who still made fun of you for speaking out loud, no matter if you were alone or with someone else, the person who would reach for the things you had to stand on your tiptoes to get, the one who represented a competition to your wit, your partner in every class, the one you shared meals with and chatted until your throat dried out. You woke up to meet him and went to bed with his voice being the last one you heard.
Not lately, though.
Lately you had been reflecting on how your life had changed in just a couple of months and you had barely noticed. You had been a wild student, that’s for sure, driven by the rules that you found worthy breaking and the need to make Regulus live a little. Now you left hidden notes in the walls of the castle, brushed hands against warm skin on the crowded halls, shared careful looks from the opposite sides of the rooms you found yourselves in, sneaked out at night or even helped with pranks you only saw the disastrous results of.
Maybe you wished for time to go back for you and Regulus, but certainly not for you and Sirius.
Sirius Black. The boy who stole your breath from the moment he crashed against your body on the hallway while you went back to your common room from the kitchens. Maybe then it had been the fear of being caught and the quick heartbeat against your ribcage while he stood so close to you, a stranger and yet so familiar. Now as you stood next to him, the air blowing on his hair as he watched the sun go down for the day you could say he still managed to steal your breath in a different way. His grey eyes were focused far away from you, the sun reflected there as he took a deep breath in, his chest rising and falling once before his breathing evened. He had a charming smile on his face, not directed at anyone but himself and his own genuine feelings.
You wanted to reach for his hair and brush it away from his face, cup his cheek and feel the warmth that only you could feel from him. You wished he would hold you again, to intertwine his fingers with yours and start to sway there like you had in the Winter Ball.
“What are you thinking about?” he brought you out of your head, blinking rapidly to focus on his eyes now looking at you with curiosity.
“Nothing.” you lied, smiling as your turned your body from the railing in the astronomy tower to him, resting one elbow to support your weight. You tilted your head to the side and smiled brightly.
“Don’t try to distract me with your smile.” he said, pushing your cheek softly to the side “I invented that trick, it won’t work on me.”
You chuckled lightly, facing him again with your nose scrunched “Why would I want to distract you?” you asked.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully “Because I asked you a question and because you’re evil.”
You gasped, not taking too much time to throw your head back in laughter “Now I’m mean?” you asked, placing a hand over your heart.
“Evil.” he corrected “You avoid my questions even when you know the answers, you lie.”
“How do you know?”
“Stop answering with more questions!” he laughed, taking hold of your hands as he turned you in your spot, holding your back against his chest with your arms crossed over your chest.
You couldn’t help the squeak that left your lips at the rapid movement, but all traces of amusement left your face as you felt him place his chin over your shoulder “What were you thinking about?” he whispered in your ear, making you shiver in the spot as you glanced swiftly at him “I bet I can guess.” he announced, moving his head on top of yours as he rocked your bodies from side to side “You were thinking of me.”
You bit the insides of your cheeks, a stubborn smile making its way to your lips as a blush covered your cheeks. You were suddenly grateful for his hold on you and the incapability of him to see you.
“You’re full of yourself.” you scoffed, trying to wiggle your hands out of his hold with no luck.
“Then tell me what was in that brilliant mind of yours.” he asked, squeezing your hands in his “You’re always thinking, I’ve noticed.” he told you, finally letting go of you as you turned to face him, his innocent smile no rival to your playful glare.
“I was thinking…”
“Yes?” he insisted.
You thought about it, making an excuse on the spot “About how we met.” you finally said.
His body loosened up from his confident stance, the surprise of your statement making his heart skip a beat with the emotion. He started to feel like he always did whenever you crossed his mind, peaceful and excited. A mess of feelings he couldn’t describe just yet but one he couldn’t get enough of.
“What about it?” he asked, leaning on the railing as he stared at you.
“Nothing in particular,” you said, playing with your fingers as you started to walk around the top of the tower “Just recalling the events.” you said with a breathy laugh, now actually remembering what had happened “I thought I was going insane that night. I kept listening to noises and believed the castle had more than just ghosts for the Halloween season.”
Sirius tilted his head in amusement “That’s why you were running that night?”
“That and I was out past curfew.” he chuckled at the face you made, making you glare at him as you defended yourself “It was scary! I heard a voice and chuckles and none of the ghosts were around, I’m sure.”
He stared at you for a couple of seconds, making you hesitate as if you had said something wrong only for him to burst out laughing. He doubled over his stomach, turning away from you as he walked a couple of steps back. His laugh never stopped, making you join him in confusion. A couple of minutes passed before he waved a hand in your direction, turning to you with watery eyes.
“What?” you asked only when he seemed able to breathe.
He shook his head, his cheeks hurting from all the laughing “Promise me you won’t be upset.”
You frowned at him, your mouth opening once and then again before you narrowed your eyes “Why would I be upset?”
“Just promise.” he asked again.
You considered him for a second, nodding only when curiosity won you over.
He doubted only for a second, rubbing the back of his head as he lowered his gaze. “That was me.” he murmured slowly but loud enough for you to hear him.
A long silence followed his words as you just gawked at him. “What?”
His smile tightened. “That was not a ghost, it was me.” he said more surely, then it dawned on him how it might sound to you “I wasn’t following you.” he was quick to explain, raising his hands in defense “I was just escaping professor McGonagall, and Prongs has this cloak that makes you invisible and… Well, maybe I did follow you for a bit but not in that way.” he started rambling, but you had been lost since he admitted that was him.
“That was you?” you asked in a whisper. Sirius nodded, unsure of your reaction until your confusion turned to rage “That was you!” you confirmed, turning to your sides to find something to throw at him. When you found nothing you marched up to him, making him stumble back as you hit his chest “I thought I was going crazy and you were escaping McGonagall?!”
He complained to each of your hits, trying to stop you with his hands but failing as you moved so fast “Stop it, woman.” he yelled.
Maybe sometimes you did wish everything went back to the way it was before.
*******
The next morning you woke up with a smile, the events of the previous night still running through your head as you slowly got out of bed. It was the weekend and that meant that you had been able to sleep in, your room empty with all of your roommates gone for the day, no one really dared to try and wake you up. Entering the empty bathroom you stared at yourself in the mirror, your smile only growing as you remembered, brilliant mind of yours. He thought you were brilliant. You tried not to let it get to your head but it was proving itself difficult enough to even believe he had said that. It was rare the comment that made you feel warm and had you giggling like a small child, but taking a hesitant glance at your reflection you found that even with your toothbrush between your teeth you still had a smile on your face. You grabbed your toothbrush with your opposite hand, turning your back on the mirror as you leaned on the sink, a small groan leaving your throat as you stared at the ceiling.
What was he doing to you?
Since when whatever Sirius Black thought of you had such an effect on your mood? You couldn’t recall the moment it all changed. One day you were running from his and his friends and the next you were spending the first hours of moonlight with him, chatting away and laughing harder than you had in a while.
It was nice. You felt happier while spending time with him. You waited for the night to arrive so you could go and find him, to be near him. The rush inside of you every time you left your common room was nothing you had ever felt before because this time they could find you, they could see that you were not alone. It felt like you were breaking an unwritten rule and you loved it. But also felt the pang of guilt every time you found yourself enjoying it a little too much.
That unwritten rule was between you and Regulus. A rule of not asking about his family and especially his brother. Not asking, not talking, not going anywhere near him. Sirius Black was silently forbidden for anyone close to the Black family, and you were guilty of breaking that vow.
You were torn between your own self and your loyalty to the one you called family, one side of you pulling you back to Regulus’ side, to the side where it was an agreement to hate on Sirius because he was a traitor. A traitor to who? To Regulus, to his family or to the blood status? Your other side whispered in your ear for you to continue down the path you had already walked too far, to keep looking for Sirius and grow a more profound bond with him. Regulus had no right over who you befriended and if you choose to be friends with the brother he hates he could choose to let you go.
But were you ready to let him go? To let any of them go?
The question had swam in the back of your head on multiple occasions, sending it back to the dark side of your mind with the pressure of the hypothetical scenario. Would you be willing to give up your friendship with Regulus for Sirius? To give up Sirius for Regulus? You didn’t dare to think about it for more than a few minutes.
When you draw yourself out of your mind you were fully dressed and standing outside of the Great Hall. You moved through the crowded space between tables, many students standing there while talking to other houses. You made yourself small, turning to the side to have more space to walk to where you could see Regulus sitting.
A couple of steps more and you would have been there, but your wrist has yanked up and pulled a little inside the circle of people.
“Are you out of your mind?” you whispered shouted, looking up to see Sirius with a smile as he raised his eyes to see Regules there, and then looked back at you.
“He’s not watching.” he murmured, letting go of your hand as you felt something when he let you go. He winked in your direction before he turned back to his friends.
With a questioning look in his direction you got out of the sea of people, unfolding the piece of parchment in your hand to see his handwriting.
Meet me tonight. Your secret place.
You rolled your eyes but smiled the same, plopping down on your seat in front of Regulus, the piece of parchment safely tucked inside your pocket.
“Morning.” you greeted him, taking a cup and pouring yourself some tea.
Regulus raised his eyes, barely giving you a second look as his gaze returned to the papers in front of him “Morning.” he mumbled.
You frowned at him, your stare probably a tickle over him as he continued with whatever was so important. The silence didn’t bother you, so you began to eat in silence. Placing food on your plate, every now and then you glanced at Regulus, his eyes piercing the sheets of paper he had before him, not even the yells and shout from the Gryffindor table breaking his focus. Not even the loud voices of Sirius and the Marauders.
Leaning your body over the table discreetly, you tried to get a look at what he was writing on the side. “What are you working on?” you asked, capturing his attention for a second as he noticed your sudden interest.
He moved his arm slightly to the right, the fabric of his sweater covering his handwriting as you snapped your eyes up to him.
“Herbology.” he said without further explanation, changing the page of the book nearer to you. He grabbed it and turned it in your way, the drawing of a small plant looking back at you as you read.
“Valerian?” you asked confused “We’re not studying that now.”
“I’m trying to get ahead.” he explained, giving you a slight smirk as he returned the book to him “Since I have to explain everything about herbology to you.”
You draw back in your seat, crossing your arms with a huff “I can manage, you know?”
“I know.” he mumbled, his focus back on the book in no time.
You stared at him, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. Your eyes danced between his hand and the top of his head the only you could see of him as he leaned over the table “I thought maybe we could go read to the library.” you said, getting only a nod from him. You opened your mouth, leaning more towards him as he didn’t move “Or go to Hogsmead, it’s beautiful outside.”
“I can’t.” he said suddenly, closing the book in front of him, the papers around it moving with the force of it. Regulus started to gather his things, throwing them inside his bag without care.
“You can’t?” you asked him with confusion.
His eyes met yours with a frown, his hands suddenly still as he lowered himself back to his seat, never realizing when he had stood.
“I have things to do,” he explained vaguely, eyes moving fast as he blinked rapidly “Some research and essays from classes we don’t have together.”
You held his eyes for a couple of seconds, pressing your lips in a thin line. You weren’t convinced but there was nothing you could do, giving him a slow nod.
He didn’t wait for you to say another thing, his hand shooting to yours in a quick squeeze before he ran out of the Great Hall.
You could only watch as he left, feeling self aware as if everyone in the Great Hall had been able to listen to the entire conversation the two of you shared, but looking around you noticed it was you alone, every single person around you at a safe distance that assured you they had heard nothing. You laughed bitterly, thinking of the effect Regulus had on people for them to sit far from him without even realizing. And then you felt it, raising your gaze just in front of you. Sirius sat with a forced smile on his face, nodding at something he wasn’t even paying attention while he held your gaze, worry filling his eyes.
He had seen everything and you could only equal his worry with your eyes, glancing at the door Regulus had walked out of seconds before. With a sudden burst of emotion you stood, barely grabbing your bag as you followed the same path Regulus had taken. You would deal with Sirius later.
Bittersweet torture [Charlie Weasley x Reader] - Requested
Title: Bittersweet torture
Pairing: Charlie Weasley x Reader
Word count: 3.1k
Published: 27 September 2021
Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore
Warnings: Mention of food
Summary: Charlie has been struggling to keep his feelings at bay, his secret protected at all cost, unable to ruin your friendship and step over that dangerous line. That is until a little mishap on your part causes a drift in your idillic friendship.
Notes: I didn't specify the reader's house. Also I took the liberty of changing the idea a bit as I explained in my reply to the ask, because I couldn't bring the original idea together with the song.
Request: [x] [x] Prompt sent in by @rockinggirl06 for my celebration event.
"Could you do this with Charlie Weasley X Hufflepuff!reader? Something super fluffy and maybe some kissing ? Song: Ant Saunders - Yellow Hearts - preferably during Hogwarts years when he becomes obsessed with dragons or something?"
Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists
Battle of Swords; 2.9k followers and 1st anniversary celebration event
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Charlie Weasley was utterly, completely, and hopelessly in love with you. Your sweet little smile first thing in the morning and your heavy-lidded gaze at night meeting his made his heart flutter. His feelings haunted him day and night, leaving him desperate for a concrete answer. The place in-between a friendship and a romantic relationship wasn't enough for him anymore. He wanted to be beside you, he wanted to support you and offer you unconditional love, but he couldn't handle being only a mere friend to you anymore. Not when you laid your head on his shoulder in the library whilst getting lost in a book or kissed his cheeks with a vivid smile across your face. Not when all that little attention meant more to him than to you.
"Are you still with me?" Your giggling woke him from his deep thoughts, his eyes meeting yours as you studied his face with that endless joy on your face. He knew he'd do anything to keep that expression across your face, to make you smile as much as humanly possible, to make you feel content. But he knew once he gained his courage and confessed his feelings for you, he would never be able to make you the happiest person alive and the task would forever fall on someone else. "I'm starting to worry," you narrowed your eyes, fixing your gaze on him. Charlie was about to go down that road again, admiring how adorable you looked when confused, head tilted to the side, but he quickly stopped his self-torturing.
"I'm sorry, what?" He asked, blinking repeatedly to wake himself from his self-pity.
"I asked if we are still on for Hogsmeade for the weekend, but— You know you can talk to me, right? You seem a bit off." A deep frown spread across your brows. Charlie wanted to reach across the library table to smoothen the skin between your brows, but he quickly shook the thought off.
Whilst it was always natural for you to hug him, kiss him on the cheek, even sleep beside him on occasions when you spent your summer at the Burrow, to Charlie it was a bittersweet torture. Seeing your relaxed, sleeping form beside him made his heart thunder in chest, leaving him awake for the rest of the night. Watching your eyes flutter open first thing in the morning, greeting him with a vivid smile before you hid your mouth behind the cover, rushing to the bathroom to brush your teeth left him a chuckling mess, finding you absolutely adorable. To him those were memories he'd forever treasure, but a part of him could barely contain himself from giving into the heartache, reminding him that he could only experience those precious moments as a mere friend, never more.
"Okay, now I'm getting really worried." Concern laced every word leaving your lips as you stood up and walked around the table to take a seat beside Charlie, the chair's loud scraping noise against the floor earning you a strict glare from Madam Pince. But you only offered her an apologetic look before you stared at your friend once again, your gaze demanding.
"Yeah— yeah, we are on," he said with a small smile as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side, kissing the top of your head. Though he only did it to stop you from trying to read how madly in love he was with you, he couldn't deny how right it felt to hold you in his arms, the feel of your warmth against his own body making him genuinely happy.
"Are you sure that's all?" You asked with the same frown growing even deeper as you managed to look up at him, but Charlie only nodded, trying to reassure you. Once a tiny smile started curving in the corner on your lips, he let out a heavy, but content sigh, never wanting to see that joyful expression disappear.
The next day Charlie tried to contain his heavily thudding heart, his pulse rushing through his veins as though it was having an individual competition. But he couldn't ignore how right it felt when you walked through the Gryffindor common room, sat down beside him on the couch and pressed your lips against his cheek with a slobbery, smacking kiss, making him chuckle and jokingly wipe the skin.
"I'm trying not to be offended," you scoffed, folding your arms in front of your chest, pouting.
"Come on, I was only joking," he grinned at you, but you just turned your gaze away and held your head high. Charlie tried to find a way to ease your sulking, but he couldn't come up with any ideas. His mind was blank, only occupied by you. For once he didn't even think of his love for dragons, all the applications he wanted to send to conservatories around the continent, all the knowledge he wanted to squeeze into his mind to understand them. No, it was you only, occupying each thought as though you owned him.
He sat beside you, staring at you as if it would change your behaviour, but you were stubborn, and he knew damn well you'd stay that way for as long as you could just to rile him up. With the shake of his head, he leaned closer and returned your previous gesture, hinting a small kiss on your cheek, before he pulled away with a gentle smile, watching you turn back to him with the same cheerful grin that you arrived with.
"Much better," you huffed, earning a soft chuckle from him.
"You are insufferable," he said as he leaned back against the sofa.
"That's why you love me," you said with a giggle, leaning against his side as his arm wrapped around your shoulder. Oh, how right you were. But the love you were talking about wasn't the one he harboured.
"I do, indeed," he breathed as he kissed the top of your head, his gaze distant, his words heavier than ever.
As the weekend arrived, you headed down to Hogsmeade to grab a butterbeer and buy some sweets. You linked your arm with Charlie's as you dragged him along, from shop to shop, leaving him chuckling at your eagerness. He couldn't stop himself from staring at the content smile across your face, the little giggles that left your lungs when he acted as though he was growing tired. Oh, no he wasn't. He'd have gone wherever you wanted him, but he knew you found it funny when he grew grumpy and on rare occasions, he played the part just to see you smile. As bittersweet as each smile left him, he never wanted you to ever stop, because even if only as a friend, he wanted to make you the happiest person alive.
"Charlie," you called as he leaned against the wall beside the entrance of the Three Broomstick, looking around the crowded little village whilst you quickly popped into Zonko's.
"Hmm?" He arched a brow, watching you run up to him with a bag in your hand that screamed trouble. "What's that for?" He asked suspiciously.
"I bought this for Georgie and Freddie," you smirked at the boy, imagining the happy expression across the twins' face, unlike their parents.
"Mother will kill you," Charlie shook his head, but he couldn't stop the little curve tugging in the corner of his lips.
"Molly loves me, so I doubt it," you shrugged with a smug grin, earning a not-so-subtle eye roll from him.
Once you were in the Three Broomstick, you gobbled down a whole meal in a matter of minutes, leaving Charlie to admire you whilst your focus was completely and utterly taken by your food. Once you finished, it was time for butterbeer after butterbeer. You couldn't contain your giggling, making Charlie blush at your silliness, your whole presence radiating warmth.
As you finished and stepped out of the pub, the chilly air hit you, making you slightly moan at the pleasure. Charlie couldn't deny how deeply that tiny sound affected his already heavily beating heart, so to stop you from any further noises that might just kill him, he pulled a candy out of his pocket, unwrapped the package and not-so gently pushed it through your parted lips. Eyes wide in surprise, lips still parted as you moved the candy, Charlie chuckled at your stunned face.
"For the first time you were finally quiet, and I wanted to enjoy it a bit longer," he chuckled as you gaped at him. Before he could have even defended himself you gently punched his shoulder.
"You're mean, Mr. Weasley," you said as you shook your head, but your small smile quickly returned. "You're lucky I'm having a good time," you huffed as if you were still sulking, but Charlie knew you better.
"As always when I'm around," he joked, earning an incredulous scoff from you.
"Your confidence never ceases to amaze me," you said as you linked your arm with his and started walking along the path leading back to the castle. For a moment there was silence, a comfortable, content silence. "Thank you for the candy," you spoke up and rose on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek, only to find him facing you. It was too late to turn, too late to react and once your lips met the corner of his own, Charlie felt like his knees would buckle.
"I'm so sorry!" Your tone was high-pitched, panicked and Charlie could have done anything to travel back in time and avoid seeing that terror across your face as if what happened was something criminal, something illegal.
"It's fine," he shook his head with a heavy sigh, turning his gaze away as he nudged you to walk beside him, your arm still around his, enough to get you moving.
"I really didn't mean to. It was an accident. I'm so sorry, Charlie, please don't be mad at me," your pleas, the begging undertone of your voice, the fear he could hear through every single syllable made his inside churn.
"I told you, it's fine. Stop apologising," his voice was weak against the pain he felt at the thought of you being so disgusted with such a small matter, but clearly it was something that you were appalled by, and he couldn't stop his throat closing in on him, his mouth growing drier as it hit him.
"But Charlie, I feel so bad. I didn't mean to do it, it just happened," you continued, his pain growing with each word, his chest tightening, caging his breath in a hold he could barely access.
"Stop, stop, stop," he breathed, a heavy sigh leaving his lungs as he shook his head and gently removed your fingers from around his arm. "Please, stop apologising," he shook his head, trying to clear his mind, but he could only think of the terror in your eyes. He didn't look at you, he couldn't get himself to. He fixed his gaze on the ground, attempting to collect his thoughts. "I understand it's not something you wanted to happen. It was an accident. But can't you just act like it didn't happen? Do you really have to act so disgusted by it?" He asked, each word hurting him even more, the previous panic he saw in your eyes fuelling his aching heart.
Once he lifted his gaze, you looked at him with a stunned expression, one that had no reminiscence of your previous fear, but complete surprise. "Do you really think I'm disgusted?" A frown spread across your brows as you studied the boy with an intent gaze.
"I don't know what to think. You looked terrified, you kept apologising and went on and on and on," he replied with a heavy scoff. "Frankly, my first thought upon seeing your panicking was that you were disgusted." His honesty once again stunned you.
"Charlie, you completely misunderstood," you shook your head as you stepped closer to him, staring into his eyes as if you could read what he was thinking. "You looked at me like you have made the biggest mistake of your life, when in fact I was the one being careless. What was I supposed to do? I felt like I had done something horrible, because the only thing I could read off you was— it was like— like you were about to tell me to never ever try to get close to you again, to disappear from your sight," your voice shook as the words escaped you.
"Because that's what I thought." He wanted you to believe it was the biggest mistake of his life because it was. He couldn't ever pretend to be your friend again, to stay beside you and act as if his feelings were merely platonic. But he couldn't stand the sight of you tearing up, your lips wobbling. He couldn't stand the shaky breath that escaped you, the smile he wanted to see so desperately seemingly impossible to appear. "That is exactly what I thought because I can't stand pretending anymore," he said as he shook his head, stepping back to create more distance just as he was about to do more damage that he knew he'd never recover from. "I can't stand acting like I'm your friend anymore. I can't take your kisses when I know you do it merely as a friend. I can't accept your hugs when I know the way I embrace you isn't how friends should hold each other. I want more, I have wanted more for so long I can't even remember being your friend anymore."
"Charlie—," his name was a silent whisper, but he didn't want to hear it.
"Don't," he shook his head, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, just long enough to think about how to phrase what he had to say. "You are important to me, and you'll always be. I couldn't change it even if I wanted to. But I can't keep torturing myself for the sake of this friendship, I can't hurt myself any longer."
"But Charlie—," you attempted to speak again, your voice stern this time, but he didn't let you.
"No, please. Let's just end it here and go our separate ways without it getting ugly. It's better for both of us," he said, before turning away from you, heading towards the castle. His heart felt like it was slowly splitting in two, as if mocking him for taking so long to finally do the right thing and end it.
"Charles Weasley," you called after him in a tone that Charlie was sure his mother would have feared if she heard. "Get your ass back here now," you demanded and as if he was under a spell, Charlie turned around with wide eyes, completely stunned at your outburst. "Well, thank you," you said with a smile that could have scared him away if his legs weren't frozen in their spot. "Now that you so selfishly finished your little monologue, I'd appreciate it if you let me talk as well. Unless you have anything else to say," you arched a brow, challenging him to talk.
He hesitantly shook his head, not daring to open his mouth.
"Brilliant," you hissed. "Whilst I understand why you're upset, you've no right to run away from me without hearing me out." Taking a step closer, you pointed your finger at him. "Firstly, I'm trying to decide if you are blind, oblivious or just painfully dumb," you scoffed as you took another step closer. "Secondly, do you really think I just go around kissing boys? Frankly, you aren't my only male friend, but you are the only one I kiss every single time we meet. The only one I hug whenever I want to just feel closer and you're the only one I slept beside. I don't waltz into boys' rooms and crawl into their bed for the fun of it. I have done everything to make you see that you're special to me, that you meant more than a bloody friend. But you—," you hissed as you closed the gap and stood right in front of him, looking up at his confused face, poking his chest accusingly, "you were so painfully blind, I had no way to get through that thick skull of yours." An incredulous huff left your lungs and as your frustration started to subside, tears welled in your eyes.
Charlie wanted to lift his arms and cup your cheeks, wanted to comfort you for his own stupidity, but he couldn't move, your words stunned him beyond his expectations.
"I thought I'd forever stay only a friend to you. So when we accidentally kissed, as bad as it might sound, I felt like the happiest person alive. But then I looked at you and it felt like a slap on the face." Tears escaped down your cheeks, Charlie's thumbs arriving just in time for their rescue, gently rubbing your cheeks.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours with a heavy sigh leaving his mouth, tickling your lips. "I'm so sorry for being oblivious, for not seeing the signs, for not understanding you. I'm so sorry for trying to push you away."
"Charlie—," you started, and he knew better than to interrupt you this time. "Stop apologising and kiss me already," your voice was barely a whisper and as his gaze fell on your mouth, the sight of them made his blood boil. Oh, how long he wished to feel them, taste them, completely devour them. With the force of a wild beast, he captured your lips in a feverish kiss. There was no place for gentle pecks and sweet, tender brushes. It was filled with hunger and need, repressed feelings that all came crashing down on both of you, desperately clinging to each other for more.
As you parted, Charlie's ragged breathing mixed with your laboured breaths, but your joint gaze couldn't be more alive. "Woah—," Charlie started, but he couldn't find the right words.
"Yeah," you nodded, still out of breath. "That— that was something," was all you said as a silent giggle escaped you, no evidence of your sadness anymore.
"I wish we'd done that before," he said, once again pressing his forehead to yours. "I wish we hadn't wasted so much time."
"Well, I guess we just have to work extra hard to make up for it," you chuckled, earning a head shake from Charlie, but he couldn't mask the utmost excitement in his expression at the thought of having you all to himself.
"You better buckle up then, because I don't plan on letting you go," he said jokingly, though he meant every word of it. At last, he wrapped his arms around your waist, securing you against him and pressed his lips against yours, beginning to make good on his promise.
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Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: None (Let me know if there's any, though)
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You were distracted. Regulus had noticed that much. Two weeks had passed by since his game against Gryffindor and he had taken to himself to watch you closely. At first he was worried, now he was curious. He could feel you were distant, sometimes he would find your eyes lost in the crowd of students or a smile growing on your lips at something only you could figure out from all the voices. You spent more time out after dinner, Regulus finding you walking back to your common room late at night when you had supposedly already gone there. He didn’t question you but he wanted to know who this person was who had captured your attention.
Unfortunately, he was certain it had to be a Gryffindor. The presence of the house is always there whenever he notices these changes in your behaviour. He had so many questions and no reason to ask you about it. But he knew he could dig a little with the right words.
“...and I need this one and that one.” you said, walking through the shelves of the library with Regulus following you “Can you reach the red one for me?” you asked him, his arm easily going over your head and taking the book you pointed “Thank you.” you told him, adding the book to the pile in your arms.
Regulus just observed you, noticing a sweet smell coming from you. Your favorite perfume. You looked the same as always, Ravenclaw uniform neatly worn with a few details of your own design, leather bag hanging from your left shoulder as your body inevitably leaned towards that side due to the weight of all you carried. Your face, your hair, your voice it was all the same but it was all in the details. The perfume, the skip on your step, your more cheerful mood.
“You seem happier.” he said, earning a chuckle from you as you returned the book in your hand to the shelf.
“Thank you?” you answered doubtfully. There, no retort to fight him, no sarcastic comment to notice his own gloomy or serious mood.
“I mean it.” he told you, trying to look casual about it. He didn’t have it in him but he had to try, he’s used to being direct but going around things was not his thing. “What’s gotten you in such a happy mood lately?”
You made a face at him, leading him towards your table at the library. He took the seat right across from you, facing the entrance of the library as he had always liked to observe the people going in and out of the room. You moved your own chair out and took a seat, dropping the pile of books on the tables’ surface.
“Would you believe it's because of you?” you asked with a smile, taking your things out of your bag and placing one by one on the table.
Regulus shook his head, following your movements as he did the same “The fact that you asked me if I would believe you tells me it’s not because of me.” he stated, resting his back against the chair as he watched you. “And there is a reason because you are making up excuses.”
You frowned, hitting the table a little too hard with the spine of your book “I hate that you’re so clever sometimes.” you muttered bitterly, unknown to Regulus that you were starting to panic. Your leg a jumping mess under the table.
“Why won’t you tell me?” he asked. Going around things wasn’t working for him, it actually never worked for anyone but he knew that and trying it anyway got on his nerves a little too much. He needed answers.
“Because there is nothing to tell.” you said, voice high as you avoided his gaze. You were lying.
“Look at me.” he said.
You closed your eyes shut, letting out a single breath as you pressed your lips in a line. Finally you lifted your face, meeting his eyes. He had a relaxed posture, as relaxed as Regulus could get, but he still tilted his head. Oh, he knew what he was doing. He looked approachable and kind, more than usual in your eyes.
“You’re seeing someone.”
Your heart almost jumped out of your chest, the drop of your stomach as you felt like someone had punched you on the gut enough to make all the happiness he was asking you about wash out of your face.
He wasn’t asking. It wasn’t a question. He was telling you because he knew.
Your thoughts started to go over everything you had done, everything you had said, how you acted, anything that could have given it away to him. Everything and nothing came to mind as you just stared at him, your body completely still.
Then it dawned on you that you weren’t seeing anyone. Not really. You and Sirius were friends who liked to spend time together. Behind your best friend and Sirius brother’s back. You thought bitterly, guilt starting to rise inside you. We’re just friends. Then why did your mind go immediately to Sirius at the question of you seeing anyone?
“What?” you asked in a whisper, taking a shaky breath after as the fear of your secret being discovered became more real.
He looked for your eyes, a small smile on his face “I know you’re seeing someone.”
“You know?” you repeated.
“Yes.”
But did he knew?
“And you’re not upset?” you asked, taking careful steps in the conversation.
“I don’t know why you felt like you couldn’t tell me.” he said “I’m more upset over the fact that they’re a Gryffindor, but I guess I’ll get…”
“You know!” you yelled. The shushing sounds from the students around you made you shrink in your place as you muttered a quiet apology, the flush in your cheeks nothing as you turned with wide eyes at Regulus, mouthing the words You Know.
“I had my suspicions.” he said, looking around before he settled back on you “You stare at the people of their house a lot and I still have to figure out who they are…”
His words were muffled by the relief washing over you. He didn’t know.
*******
Sirius had looked for you a couple of days after the Quidditch game. He had managed a couple of minutes away from all the eyes at Hogwarts to ask you to meet him later that day. Of course you had agreed.
You moved through the castle with light steps. It was late but not enough to get you in trouble, just to get a warning look from the professors. Sirius had asked you to meet him inside the castle but you couldn’t risk another surprise visit from Regulus, his extra classes had gotten all over his schedule and you no longer knew when he would be out and what days he wouldn’t. So you asked Sirius to meet you at the castle entrance. Doubtful, he had accepted.
So that’s where you were headed, playing with your fingers as you moved. The corridors were empty and the day getting colder, a chill running down your spine as more nerves got to you. Somehow, although you wanted this, you were also dreading it.
The doors were wide open, your figure a dot in the distance of what the entire castle represented. You glanced at either side of the door before you decided Sirius wasn’t there yet. You rested your weight on the wall outside the castle, closing your eyes as the air blew on your face. You found the feeling relaxing and refreshing, almost taking your worries with it.
Then something changed in the air, a different smell caught in the air as you started to feel different. Not alone. Your eyes fluttered open to see Sirius standing right beside you, a different look on his face as he watched you.
“You looked peaceful.” he said, offering his hand for you to take.
You glanced hesitantly at him, grabbing his hand “You look different.”
“And we’ve never looked better.” he said, his usual grin back on his lips as he gave a soft squeeze to your hand “Lead the way, since a castle is not enough for the lady.”
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you pulled him with you, missing his triumphant smile at teasing you.
You walked for a couple of minutes, going down the stairs to the black lake in silence. Once you got over the hills and past the shore of the black lake Sirius started asking questions but you didn’t give in, ignoring his every word until you got closer to your destiny, your secret space.
“Would you relax?” you asked him, his mouth never stopping until you talked “We’re almost there.”
“You could have told me where we are going.” he said, looking around you and seeing nothing familiar “You could be leading me to my death.”
“Oh, yes.” you smiled back at him before narrowing your eyes at him “I’m not really a student at Hogwarts. You see, I’m this serial killer who lures her victims by being a sweet girl, this is the place where all my victims have died and you are next.”
Your grasp on his hand got tighter, smiling at him before you focused on the way you were walking. Sirius raised an eyebrow but said nothing, letting you drag him with his arm now stretched to create space between you two.
“I can’t tell if you’re joking.” he said, his voice a little worried “You sound very convincing and your scenario sounds entirely possible now.”
You laughed out loud, throwing your head back lightly. Sirius' fake worry all washed away as a genuine smile replaced everything in his features, thinking that maybe, if you were actually a serial killer, this wouldn’t be such an awful way to die.
“I’m very capable of a lot of things, so you shouldn’t underestimate me.” you said, raising your eyebrows at him before you turn back front “We’re here.” you announced, letting go of his hand as you advanced some steps on your own.
You moved through the grass, grass tall enough to reach your ankles and wildflowers who filled the ground with beautiful dots of color. And to your right an enormous tree, vines hanging from its branches that you moved as if it was a curtain, letting you and Sirius through to a small meadow. The place was comfortable enough to have a picnic with a few friends and still have room to move around, the makeshift walls made of more trees and vines that covered the space to make the shape of what almost resembled a circle.
“Welcome to a small haven just outside Hogwarts.” you said to Sirius, spinning once in your spot as you focused back on his face. He looked amazed, his eyes finding the sky once before he moved to the green grass and small patches of flowers.
“Just outside is putting it lightly.” he whispered, but you could see he didn’t care about the distance or about walking all the way there with you. He softly ran his fingers over the vines that fell like heavy silks once again, covering the spot where you two had walked in. “You found this place?”
You hummed in response, nodding your head “I was trying to escape some friends while we played. It was my first year so I didn’t know the grounds of the school very well. I ran and ran until I could no longer hear them and then I hid here. They never found me.”
He laughed, his smile reaching his eyes as he continued to look around “You probably shouldn’t have shown me this place.” he told you, knowing perfectly that he would use it as a way to avoid professors and detention.
“I didn’t show you anything.” you said, patting a spot in the ground to then sit there with a huff “You followed me here.”
Sirius did the same thing and sat down next to you “You dragged me here.” he stated, giving you a knowing look.
“You offered your hand.” you argued back, throwing some of your hair over your shoulder “You could have let go at any time.” Your confidence didn’t last much as you burst out laughing, shaking your head as you tried to speak, the words coming out of your mouth unintelligible.
It took you a couple of minutes to catch your breath but in the end your chest started to rise and fall evenly, the air calm as you could only hear the breeze moving the tree tops. The silence fell heavily between you two, not in an uncomfortable way but enough to let you know the laughter was over.
You swallowed in anticipation, not knowing how to begin. In the end you didn’t have to, Sirius taking the chance first.
“I’m sure you have many questions and believe me, so do I,” he started, looking at his hands as he spoke “But you have to know whatever he is doing it’s not good.”
“You don’t know that.” you said in a low tone, still a hint of hope in your voice.
He shook his head, turning to look at you with that same desperation he had in his eyes the day you found Regulus. “You’re too good.” he whispered, raising his hand hesitantly to your face, his finger moving a piece of hair behind your ear.
His skin felt warm against yours, the back of his hand grazing your cheek as you moved your face away “I’m not naive.” you exclaimed “I know him. He is my friend, my family, he would never say that.”
“We both heard him, Y/N.” Sirius reminded you, his voice sounding deeper now “How can you explain what we both heard?” he asked, looking at you expectantly.
“I don’t know what I heard.” you said stubbornly, refusing to look at Sirius.
“You do know. I saw you there and you were hurt, we both know what he called you.”
You grunted, pushing yourself to your feet as you stood with your back at him “There must be an explanation.”
Sirius followed you, standing just behind you “For calling someone Pure enough…”
“Dont’!” you hissed, turning to Sirius with a glare in your face.
“I think it’s self explanatory, Y/N.” his voice had raised in volume, the two of you facing one another with glares in your eyes, not moving but holding each others’ eyes.
“Then why is he still my friend?” you asked in a whisper, faces inches away from one another, he heard you just right. “Why is he still by my side, why has nothing changed?”
“Because you’re everything he has left.” he whispered angrily, not being able to hold your gaze any longer as he turned from you. “I was once in your place. Then, he could afford to lose me, so he did. He had the chance to change, to prove everyone wrong but he chose status and the glory of being the only son of the Black family.”
“What are you talking about?” you asked him, confusion growing inside of you as you digested his words.
“Why do you think I left my home?” he asked quietly, “Why do you think my family and your best friend hate me so much? A shame to the Black family.”
A frown was set deep in your face, eyes wild as you started to put all the pieces together inside your head. The perfect son who hates his traitor brother. Traitor. Blood traitor.
Your gaze stilled for a moment, your eyes on the ground as you breathed in deeply. You raised your face slowly, eyes meeting Sirius’ as you stood straight. You opened your mouth but nothing came out, the small gap letting out air as you tried to even your breathing. Your entire face fell, sadness overtaking your eyes as you finally understood.
“You don’t believe in blood purity.” you whispered, voice rough as all the emotion you held inside tried to pour itself on your words. “But he does.”
“Yes.” A simple word, a full sentence. One that changed everything now that the truth was out.
Words got tangled on your tongue, you tried to speak but felt like all it would come out would be your screams.
Your body moved back on its own, rubbing the side of your arm with your hand as every word repeated itself in your head.
“He stayed?” you asked him.
Still that hint of hope. Sirius thought.
“He didn’t ask to come.” he said truthfully.
You nodded your head continuously, not stopping until you covered your face with the palms of your hands, pressing the cold feeling against your skin.
Seconds after you felt a pair of arms around your shoulders, his whispered words on the side of your head filled you with comfort as you moved your hands around his chest.
He held you for a long time, I could have been minutes or hours, it felt like a lifetime. Despite everything you had just learned, there, you felt safe.
summary: there’s a cute boy you meet on the train every day while heading upstate, but you don’t know much about each other until your lives are in danger.
warnings: mentions of blood, injury, broken bones, language!
word count: 5.2k
a/n: i feel like new york doesn’t have nice above ground trains like this but i do not live there so let’s pretend they do for the sake of this fic haha
Trains were your preferred method of transportation, if you were being honest. There was nothing not to like about the smooth ride, the comfortable seats, and the windows that gave you all the natural lighting you could ever want. You could just sit down, plug in your headsets, and read a book. Maybe even fall asleep if you needed to take said train at some ungodly hour of the night.
request: hi! Can I request an imagine about oliver wood where he takes y/n in a meadow through the woods near hogwarts for a pic nic? Like he explains that here he practise himself when the pitch isn’t an option or just goes to relax, and none knows about this, so it’s something special - @tmblr-42
a/n: Thank you so much for requesting, forgive me for the delay! This was such a cute request, I couldn’t say no. I hope you like! Please leave a like/reblog/comment if you enjoyed! <3
warnings: fluff, talks of sport, food, drink, lots and lots of dialogue, cute, cheesy ending.
Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?
Warnings: None (Let me know if there's any, though)
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Masterlist | Series Masterlist
“Sending someone to wake me up it’s not what a best friend would do, Black.” you muttered, running your hands through your hair as you brushed it away from your face with your fingers.
“Is your roommate still alive?” he asked with a knowing smile, standing straight from his previous position leaning on the wall outside your common room.
That day you hadn’t woken up with the soft sunlight over your face, your skin warm to the touch as you stretched the sleep out of your body, you didn’t wake up to the distant chatter of the rest of the Ravenclaws at the common room or to the smell of your roommates perfumes after they had showered. No. You woke up to the harsh grasp of Anne, one of your roommates, shaking you awake like some natural event was happening and you all had to run out of the castle. Did natural disasters even dare to touch Hogwarts? You didn’t have the time to ask, the urgence in her voice when she told you some Slytherin boy was looking for you outside enough to make your own worry wash away with a groan, turning your back and diving deeper in your bed.
“He said it was important.”
“I’m sure.” you mumbled, your face buried in your pillow as you lifted your head, muttering under your breath as you got out of bed like a grumpy child.
“She’s breathing.” you assured him, a glare permanent in your face as you started to walk beside him “To what do I owe the pleasure of rising this early in the morning?” you asked bitterly.
“You’re the worst.” he said with a hint of humor, making you turn to him in both shock and a deeper glare.
“Excuse you?” you said.
“I play Quidditch, today is the game.” he reminded you, the vague memory of those words being told to you before coming back to you “You asked me to come and look for you just before it began.”
“You’re playing this early?” you asked, looking outside the windows in the corridor to see the sun was barely out in the sky “You’re not playing, Reg. That’s called torture, someone like you should know that.” you said, nudging his side with your arm.
He stayed silent, turning to you before he quickly glanced away. “What do you mean?” he asked.
You looked at him, taking his change of humor in before you answered “You and your habit of making me wake up early.” you explained, but there was no humor behind your words anymore. “Are you sure you feel alright?”
He took a deep breath, one you barely noticed before he nodded firmly. “Of course.” he answered “You’re right, it’s too early. I’m not fully awake yet.” he said, patting his cheeks gently with the pads of his fingers, making you shake your head and laugh. “I thought we could have breakfast together, before the game.”
“I-” you said, linking your arm with his “would absolutely love that.”
Regulus led the both of you to the mostly empty Great Hall, breakfast being served to the few early birds like Regulus that chose to raise with the sun. You would never understand but you had, literally , asked for it.
You seated on your usual spot, your eyelids still a little heavy while you saw Regulus moved gracefully.
“Your tea.” he said, handing you a cup with careful movements.
“How thoughtful.” you answered, taking the cup from his hands as you took a slow sip “But I think if you want me to survive this day I might need something a little stronger.”
He rolled his eyes and said nothing, as he switched his cup with yours with a swift movement across the table.
You looked down in shock at your new cup, the dark liquid reflecting your image and showing exactly how you felt “Since when do you drink coffee?” you asked in a whispered scream.
He glanced at you with little expression on his face “I took a liking to it during the winter break.” he explained.
“Winter break?” you questioned “Did your mother take a liking to it too or what? You’ve never even looked in its direction, not even when I tried to force it on you.” you said, spitting the words. Your arms laid crossed over your chest, your glare set on your face as you saw him shrug.
“It’s because you tried to force it on me that I didn’t try it.” he said back, both of you entering in a small fight over his new liking to the warm beverage, your body language becoming more prominent as you both started to lean on the table, hands pointing everywhere while trying to keep your voices hushed.
“They look like an old couple.” James said from the other end of the Great Hall, taking a bite of his breakfast as he glanced at the silence of Sirius.
“Stop.” Remus warned him, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius “They’ll feel you staring and it’ll be worse for her.”
“Maybe he should feel my stare.” Sirius snapped, lowering his gaze and taking his emotions out on his own breakfast, a fork his weapon of choice.
You hadn't even seen Sirius when you got to the Great Hall but he had heard your laugh the moment you turned right on the door, holding onto his brother’s arm like nothing had happened. Did you forget all that he said? Were you that great of an actress? The smile that inevitably appeared on his face at any sign of you was completely washed away when you two sat down and started talking like you always had.
He wanted that.
“You should talk to her.” Remus offered but James cut him short.
“I don’t get what the big issue is! So your brother is her best friend, why should that stop you from dating her?”
“You forgot the part where Regulus is a Slytherin with the mind and ideas of Sirius’ parents that hates him for being him.” Remus said, all three pairs of eyes on him with an unnatural silence “Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m right.”
“Didn’t have to be so harsh about it.” Peter murmured in his side while Sirius just stared blankly with hopelessness in his eyes.
“Point is,” James added, slinging his arm over Sirius’ shoulders and giving Remus a glare “He already hates you, why not give him one more reason?”
Sirius groaned, moving out of James' hold “Because she doesn’t want him to hate her.”
“She might have to pick.” James added, a bright smile on his lips. “And we all know who would win, right?” he asked, looking for Remus and Peter’s support but only finding his subtle shaking of heads, making all confidence in James fade.
“Yeah, Prongs.” Sirius said, pointing his hand in your direction as he let it fall with a thud on the table, the act of defeatment “The one in the old couple wins. Look at them! Everyone already thinks that they are secretly dating. I stand no chance.”
The three Marauders stared at their friend in disbelief. A side of Sirius Black they never expected to see coming to shine from the dark, making its way into the world for everyone to see it. Sirius Black, the boy who had all the ladies running after him, the one who had no trouble using his skills to have everyone down on their knees and that knew he was worth it of it all and more, that same Sirius Black that now hid his head in between his arms for a Ravenclaw girl who had the heart and wit to befriend his brother and become the shadow of one another.
Sirius Black cared for the girl enough to put his own desires aside and let her be happy, to keep his friendship. The only person she had left in the school. That wasn’t true anymore, but he knew it was the truth for his brother. A brother that deep down he still cared about, he knew that the girl sitting in front of him was his entire world and he didn’t have the heart to hurt two people he cared about for his own happiness. As selfish as Sirius Black was, this time he didn’t want to be. He just hoped he had the strength to keep that promise to himself.
*******
The air up on the bleachers was cold against your cheeks. The day had gotten a little cloudy and you could smell in the air a storm coming in the school direction. You just hoped it wouldn’t start as you watched the game. Moving through all of your housemates you found a seat in the front, a seat for someone who went there all by themselves, someone like you. You went for the sole purpose of watching Regulus play, something you two didn’t share in liking but he was still passionate about, you loved seeing the smile on his face while he flew on his broom.
The students divided themselves without even realizing it, covering the deep blue colors of the Ravenclaw house you could find the team they supported for the day. Dark red banners flew in the air while others jumped with green pieces of clothing. Of course, you didn’t stay behind. Covering the blue of your robes there was a green scarf around your neck. Regulus had wrapped it around your neck just before you went your separate ways, you wished him luck and watched him go to the changing rooms.
But now you didn’t feel sure about it. Wishing you could divide your body and paint one side with the colors of Gryffindor while the other flashed the usual greens.
It wasn’t every day that the two houses played against one another, the natural rivalry making the game all the more interesting for those who enjoyed the competition. They might not be the best teams or the greatest players, but they were the houses of Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin. The tension in the air was stronger than the one of the upcoming storm.
Your attention was captured from inside your head the moment the wind swept your hair out of your face, green and silver flying in the air as each player took their position. They waved proudly, the cheers loud and full of excitement.
Then the Gryffindor team make their appearance. The crowd burst with energy as the team flew around, waving to all the people in the bleachers. It wasn’t unknown how popular they were. Marlene Mckinnon was in their team, one of the prettiest girls in the school, a true Gryffindor and quidditch player. Then you could count on the charisma of James Potter, captain and star. And then there was Sirius, you were certain most people who usually didn’t show up to quidditch games were there only for Sirius.
But then inevitable happened. Sirius flew just above from where you stood, looking down at you with a smile. He moved through the air in a subtle way, glancing in different directions but inevitably ending on you. He flashed you his brightest smile, pointing to his neck as he shook his head.
You looked down, seeing the Slytherin scarf around your neck and feeling a blush come up to your cheeks.
His smile returned to his face, winking in your direction before he dissapeared in the distance. The game began minutes after.
Of course he would make a big entrance in your life after being missing for days. Only he would do that.
Your bubble burst when the cheers to your right began increasing in volume, seeing Gryffindor had scored. You restrained yourself to slow claps, James bumping fists with Marlene as they went back to their positions. The game was getting more interesting by the minute.
The last few minutes had you on the edge of your seat. The scores were even, the Slytherins played sharper and the Gryffindors rougher. Regulus had been after the snitch with no luck, almost fighting the Gryffindor seeker every time each of them caught a glimpse of it. Your eyes were focused on the black haired boy, his eyes snapping to all directions at the slightest sound and then he was gone. You tried to follow him but he was too fast, your neck too sore from trying to keep up, finally losing him in the crowd of players. Still you found your new focus.
Sirius flew through the middle of the field, following close to James as he kept the Slytherin team away from him, the Quaffle secured under his arm. They worked in sync, James flying higher and faster. He wasted no time once he got his shot, throwing the Quaffle with a swift swing of his arm.
Just then the game ended but the cheers grew as every single person joined in. All the players looked down, you following as your eyes widened in surprise. You shot up in your place, throwing your hands in the air. Regulus held the snitch in his hand.
Confusion filled the place as everyone wondered who had won. The game ended with Gryffindor having more points but Regulus caught the golden snitch.
You lowered your arms, looking at Regulus as he met your gaze. He shrugged, going to the ground where all the players were shouting their arguments to the teachers.
A couple of minutes in silence followed as everyone observed the crowd down in the pitch, the frustration clear in their faces. They were throwing their hands in the air, pointing at each other and shouting, the echo of their voices reaching the high part of the bleachers.
“Gryffindor wins!” yelled the student that had been commenting on the entire game. The crowd burst into loud cheers once more, some running down to the pitch while others hugged right there. The energy was too heavy and you couldn’t help but join in, letting out a shout as you jumped in your place.
You ran down to the ground, body clashing against many students going in the opposite direction. And then you met his eyes, far away in the distance, Sirius stood tall over many of the students that were congratulating the team but his gaze remained on you, a smile mirrored in both your faces as you started to walk in his direction, unknowing of Regulus watching you from the side.
He stared at your smile, one he had never seen in your face, and followed the direction of your eyes. It was a sea of people, all of them sharing the smile on your lips but not one sharing the feeling.
Just before you got away from him he reached for you, tapping your shoulder as he followed your step.
“Reg!” you gasped, turning to the side before you pointed at him. “I-I could’ve sworn I saw you over there.” you said, pointing in the direction you were headed.
“I’m right here.” he told you “You look far too happy for someone whose best friend just lost a game because of bad timing.”
You laughed, smiling smugly at him “And I’m the bad loser.”
“It was bad timing and you know it.” he said, about to add something else when he closed the gap from his mouth, seeing your eyes lost in the distance, glancing between him and whatever had captured your attention.
You shook your head and turned fully to him, taking his arm and dragging him with you “If only you were faster.” you mocked, returning to the conversation like nothing had happened.
“If only.” he whispered, letting himself follow your step as he took one last glance over his shoulder.
