I.

I who hides.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

flowers

you told me you thought i was prettier than the flowers.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

today

i don’t like the way i look today.

maybe it’s something about the way my hair is falling,

or how bare my earlobes look without earrings,

or how the stark light shines down on the dark splotches of purple splashed beneath my eyes.

or maybe it’s that it’s way too early,

or that my physical and mental exhaustion makes me look dead inside in general,

or that my twisted brain is playing its twisted tricks,

shaping my perception of myself.

maybe if i tried a little harder i could figure it out,

but right now i’m not so inclined.

i liked the way i looked yesterday,

and maybe i will tomorrow,

but i don’t like the way i look today.

and that’s okay.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

intersectional

the air at the intersection seems to hold its breath,

absent of the chortle of engines.

then the light flashes green again and they

return.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

tomorrow

i’ve missed your voice when you make a sarcastic remark as you flaunt your height over me.

i’ve missed seeing you playing with your hair like you do, twirling it around your fingers absently while you work.

i’ve missed hearing your voice when you talk animatedly about something you care about, all happy and bright and excited.

i’ve missed seeing you smile like you do when you’re happy and your eyes light up and you laugh, so carefree.

it’s only been a week since we last saw each other but fuck, i miss you.

i can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

breathing

i am so fucking lucky to be breathing.

i am so fucking thankful to be breathing.

i am so fucking happy to be breathing.

even if i don’t feel it, i am.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

tiny insignificant humans

are tiny insignificant blips of life

on a tiny insignificant blip of a planet,

our lives tiny insignificant blips of history.

we have heard it thousands of times.

why does everything have to be so fucking relative?

humans are extraordinary.

even by existing, we change the world in the tiniest ways.

that decision we make to pick up quarter we dropped on the sidewalk,

that is a change.

that decision we make to get takeout instead of cooking,

that is a change.

that decision we make to devote our lives to public service,

that is a change.

that decision we make to found a company that will create the next big thing,

that is a change.

so yes, maybe humans are tiny.

but you can never convince me that we are insignificant.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

mornings

blaring alarm shaking my dreams... snooze.

and another time, 

and then “WAKE UP”

flashing urgently across the screen,

the writing of a past self.

up, groggy, turning on the lamp,

soft duvet masking morning chill.

yawning;

i have not gotten enough sleep.

sitting up, wetting my throat with water.

turning a crisp new page,

and letting the black ink flow,

if just for a moment.

teetering across the house,

legs still unsteady,

undecided about where they are going.

but wait, they have their information:

to the bathroom, it seems.

cold water hits my face,

a stark shock.

the start to an unpleasantly unpredictable day.

the clock ticks, always set back but always off,

causing an elaborate dance to leave on time

for fear of the flashing red lights and loud horns

that is the train i have missed.

mornings tend to hold confusion like that,

yet people still wonder why i sleep in so obscenely late.

well okay, maybe that is just me being lazy.

[therealfuckingworldfolks]

generic intro shit

welcome to the real fucking world, folks.

no lie, really do like the title of this blog. i think i’ll keep it.

planning on posting poetry or writing maybe... or stories about me... and i’m keeping it 100% anonymous.

join me on this crazy ride we call life.