I am Severus Snape

Potions Master, Defense Master Order of Merlin, First Class Hogwarts Headmaster, 1997-1998 —Mikel Snape—

[therealhalfbloodprince]

As if I need an introduction...

I, Severus Tobias Snape, have now created an account on this blasted 'website' called Tumblr. Seems to me like a mispronounced spell, in my humble opinion. Why anyone fiddles with these heinous muggle contraptions is beyond me. It is precisely why I have left that life behind.

I suppose you would want to hear more about your dear 'misunderstood,' 'brooding,' 'IN LOVE WITH HARRY POTTER,' 'war hero'? Yes, well, I shall give no apologies for my lack of introduction.

If you had done any research beforehand, you would know that there is nothing to be 'misunderstood' about me—I am what they call an open book. Do try not to look too hard.

Nor am I brooding. One would have to be unhappy to be brooding. I am miserable 🤗, so I believe you can find a better adjective (or verb rather) to describe me.

As for Potter... no. Here I thought that my name could not possibly get any dirtier.

As much as I hate to claim it... These... Direct Message boxes are open. As is the button for asking questions. At least I won't have you blurting out in class. Use the damn button. And don't waste my time.

—S.S.

Additionally, here are neatly arranged labels for your simple minds to browse this Blog.

Severus Snape Makes His Own Posts https://www.tumblr.com/therealhalfbloodprince/tagged/Severus%20Snape%20Makes%20His%20Own%20Posts

Severus Snape Answers Your Asinine Questions https://www.tumblr.com/therealhalfbloodprince/tagged/Severus%20Snape%20Answers%20Your%20Asinine%20Questions

Severus Snape Responds To Your Ridiculous Posts https://www.tumblr.com/therealhalfbloodprince/tagged/Severus%20Snape%20Responds%20To%20Your%20Ridiculous%20Posts

[s-prince-snape]

[ROLEPLAY BLOG]

Lily told me to do one of these. I really don't want to.

Severus Snape, Slytherin student at Hogwarts. I tend to work with potions, but I try to extend my interests. Close friend of Lily Evans and a few others.

He/him and aromantic, asexual if you must.

@knife-manic, @regulus-black-rp, @narcissablackm, @iamlilyevans

[therealhalfbloodprince]

This is an abominable... Ah what's the word... Cosplay of myself as I am obviously not a teenager. The year is 2026, if I'm not mistaken, making me 66. That is in fact, not a teenager.

My reputation is already in shambles. What is it you are trying to gain from using my... Likeness? It will do nothing for you. You shall gain no sympathy. Only... Ridiculous love letters.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

My dearest Professor Snape,

Would you ever allow the friendship (or hopefully…but not expectingly…more one day) of a woman who - truly loves and respects you, holds no judgements towards you, acknowledges what you’ve endured, is not put off by your sarcastic remarks (knows they’re a defense and accepts them as such), would never lie to you, deceive you, betray you, or abandon you, would always treat you with kindness, and who also has a great interest in potions (making her own quite often. And though she knows she will never achieve your level, is not discouraged by that)? If so, I’m here. If not, at least know someone is out there who feels this way. Someone cares about you as you are and always will.

You lost me at "friendship."

Try again. Or don't. I do not care.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

What would it take to get you to cast a spell at school?

- Ravenclaw who wants to see some serious magic by an adult wizard

I have cast many spells at school. Perhaps you could take your nose out of a book and be aware of your surroundings for once. You might just see.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

Have you gained any weight over the years or are you still as thin as before?

I do not indulge myself often, no. I am not so pitiful.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

how do you feel about these results

That muggles obviously lack reading comprehension.

"...trying to harry potter"

"...trying to harry"

"trying to hogwarts"

Appalling.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

Dear Professor Snape,

I know you could care less for another bothersome ‘ask’ as these muggles like to identify these things, but I wished to send along a thank you. You will not be pleased for certain for my pointless gratitude, but nonetheless, I am still grateful for everything you have done for our future. Anyone who has fought for the future deserves a thank you. I hope you will find some solace in whatever future you have.

Sincerely, 🦇

I did none of it for you, rest assured.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

I saw this theory that you’re so good at flying by yourself for the same reason you’re good at Occlumency (neither of which Harry can do). The idea is that basically you’re dependent only on yourself and you don’t put a lot of value in being a team player, whereas Harry was so powerfully a team player that it was ultimately his love that won the war. Would you say that’s true about you?

By now, you must know that I use the same method of flight as the Dark Lord. I learned it from the... man... himself.

Secondly, I do not fail to notice how you have, quite cleverly, maneuvered your question to ask multiple... very personal questions.

To your first point, no. Occlumency has no effect in my ability to fly. Your 'idea' that I am dependent on myself is true, yes. However, when tying it back to my ability to fly, they prove to be quite unrelated to each other.

This is quite obvious.

The Dark Lord also had the ability to fly. Additionally, the Dark Lord relied heavily on not only his followers, but more specifically myself.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

LOOOVE ME PROFESSOR!!! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!!

I’ll take care of you. Make you feel happy, I’ll also take care of Arin. I’ll feed you your favorite foods. Home cooked meals. I’ll make sure to give you massages after hard days of work. I’ll even help you with work! We can sit on the porch when it rains and just drink warm tea. I’ll get you your favorite books and potions ingredients. A new cauldron? On it! I’ll even make a potions room in the house if you’d like…just please…By the end of the day I just want you to be close and make sure you’re okay…

As... inclined as I may be to accept, I shall decline your... proposal.

It is very... promising... although...

I...

Decline. Still.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

would you help the muggles fight against the rich bad people

No. Their politics are not my problem.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

PROFESSOR remember that story I sent you? I have 5 edited chapters now!! Can you read them :3?

I... shall endure.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

what if i send u 1000 kittens?

Arin would be very jealous indeed.

[inthemoodforblastt]

Something that keeps eating me about SWM is how Lily reacts.

She is supposed to be 'the brightest witch of her age'. So . . . why did she just stand there and yell at James, and then laugh as though Severus deserved to be strung up, half stripped naked and have soap shoved in his mouth?

Like, even if she was non-violent person, there are several defensive spells she could have used to protect Severus. There are spells she could have used to cover him up. She could have used the Expelliarmus Charm on James to disarm him.

Personally if it were my best friend someone did that to, I would rearrange their face, but that's just me.

I don't understand why, after years of putting up with James' bullshit, she thought screeching at him like a harpy would do fucking anything.

Yet when Severus, while under severe distress, having been humiliated and assaulted, calls her a bad word, he is considered the problem. And then when tries to apologize, she has no sympathy for, no amount of care, won't even speak to him.

Lily Evans is a bitch, and I don't say that lightly.

Because James turns her on and she doesn’t care that he’s abusive, she doesn’t want to confront him to the point where she might lose his attention. That’s it. She’s playing at being righteous and hard to get because she has an image and she likes that image, but she’s not going to expose herself or get more involved than necessary precisely because then she might lose her status as Gryffindor’s golden girl. And if that means walking all over her supposed best friend, so be it. That’s all there is to it.

She wanted the popular, rich guy kissing her arse because it fed the ego she already had inflated at home thanks to her parents treating her like the ultimate golden child. It’s pure ego. Nothing more. There aren’t any more layers, guys, let’s not overthink it. It’s very simple.

[observerssegion]

i'd say you are the bitch anon, for completely misunderstanding their friendship status and making lily seem like a villan.

they weren't best friends. snape was calling people slurs against those targeted by a radical organization. was laughing off mulciber's attack. was interested in voldemort with his wannabe death eater friends. was creating dark spells. all of this during a violent war, where people like lily were at most danger. his supposed friend. at that point lily was already angry and down about snape and him choosing to call her that word was the snap. smth that finally convinced her to end the friendship. it wasn’t just a "bad word".

that's why she wasn't going all warrior on james, she was approaching the situation out of habit, anger and principles. also, this is magical school were injuries are quickly healed and people are hit with spells all the time. i think they're used to violence more since people are generally okay after a short while. also, most people were laughing or ignoring the situation, lily was the only person to step up. she later pulled out her wand and they stopped until snape called her mudblood.

i'd say for someone who was angry with snape, she did a good enough job.

[vibrantnemesisessence]

Lily was a sanctimonious cunt and she & James deserved to get murdered.

Have a good day 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁

[observerssegion]

only one who deserved to get murdered was the terrorist who was willing to sacrifice a baby to be a good boy to his terrorist daddy 😁👍

[tianfangyeta]

Who refused Dumbledore’s offer to be the Secret Keeper? Who forgot his wand when facing Voldemort? That would be that stupid, four-eyed bully

[observerssegion]

who was ready to sacrifice a baby to be a murderer's good slave?

[inthemoodforblastt]

Girl, you still don’t have any content on your blog that isn’t just my posts. Want me to recommend some things so you don’t look quite so pathetic?

[observerssegion]

stop tagging lily into the system then you dumbfuck. how do u think tumblr works? i see a dumbass take, i reply.

[inthemoodforblastt]

Do you need me to send you a signed photo or something? Your obsession is giving me a bit of second-hand embarrassment, but if it makes you happy I can send you one. I’ll even add a little kiss and dedicate it to you and everything

[therealhalfbloodprince]

I daresay I am getting quite tired of this constant argument over my personal memories and compulsions. I am used to such treatment, and I needn't an army of warriors to fight for my innocence, acting as though I have any. Not even Albus was entirely made up of innocence.

Imagine that, will you? A world where there exists not only black and white, but also shades of greys in between. It must blow your mind, with how small it seems.

Additionally the fact that you have called the Dark Lord 'Daddy' has quite pitifully made my day. I must thank you for that, @observerssegion.

Your claim of us not being best friends... rings true in some periods of time, but not in the beginning. Yes, I was a fool, and have regrets, however, the reason that particular moment happens to be named by the general public as Snape's Worst Memory is quite clear—

It marks the exact day our friendship broke. There was no going back. So, while we weren't friends forever, Lily and myself were most definitely best friends from when we met in Cokeworth to, at most, then.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

they actually do it to check the water level because they can’t see it when it’s still, and there are theories they believe running water is fresher by instinct because of big cats drinking from rivers and other flowing natural water.

How very riveting, indeed. It seems I have learned something new today.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

you are not unsightly!! i chose to draw you for a reason 🫶

also hello this is my first ask besides the drawing :] do you know which side paw your cat dips into water?

also i'd be glad to tell you why they do that if you are at all curious 👀 i have an abundance of cat behavior facts

I find myself oddly curious about this, yes. I have found Arin dipping his paws in water before, although I have not paid enough attention to his antics to decipher which paw it is... and probably will not.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

I'm not seeing sense. It simply means I will need to go FIND a expert on shield charms :3

And yet, you ask me nothing.

[therealhalfbloodprince]

I care whether or not you believe it, I simply know that there is little chance that you will believe me on the first go-around.

As to where it is... you did have one for a bit, once, in a different way. But you were both so young and naive that it didn't end up being a place to return to after everything, with her. But I don't need to tell you that.

There are some people even now who would. I mean, look at some of us, look at me, or perhaps the less mad ones. Maybe from some of the people you already know from your life, but it takes them being able to understand a bit of how your person works, of how you think and scrutinize and what your snarkiness means in each context. And it would probably take them getting it know you, actually you, in ways I'm not sure you're willing to give or risk at the moment. Scars often do that and cut you off from more than one thing.

Gentle hands can exist for you, even without cutting away yourself from the equation. In the statistical probability of the world, I can guarantee it. That any of that happened... I am so, so sorry. You don't need it, but you have my sympathy.

I see.

You are correct in your assumption that I will hardly believe you, also I tend to think that I will never believe you. However, it seems I cannot stop your ridiculous fantacies.

I feel as though I have just been to therapy, which I have not asked for. Nor have I asked for your sympathy, or rather pity. I have no desire, nor need, to be pitied, and I resent you for trying.

Additionally, you all are mad. Not just some. All.