RHOB

Toujours Pur

[therealhouseofblack]

The best years of my life are gone. And they sucked.

- Sirius Black

[therealhouseofblack]

Bellatrix: Someone’s taking me out tonight.

Sirius: Oh, in that case, I’ll open the drapes to give the gunman a cleaner shot.

[therealhouseofblack]

Lucius: My hair.

Lucius: This is very expensive hair, and it’s fucking frazzled *voice cracks* because you’ve only got straighteners here. You haven’t got heated rollers!

[therealhouseofblack]

Pansy: How do you deal with your problems?

Draco: I do the adult thing, owl my father.

[therealhouseofblack]

Rodolphus: What did you and Narcissa do for your anniversary?

Lucius: We had a nice meal, and then we went to meet our financial advisor to plan our wills. I find it’s always best to get admin out of the way and we found out she’d do alright if I die.

Bellatrix: In every sense.

[therealhouseofblack]

Regulus: We’re gonna die!

Lucius: Think positive.

Regulus: We’re gonna die quickly!

[therealhouseofblack]

Bellatrix: Cissy, I hear you’re having boy trouble, let me tell you a story. There was a beach. The enemy dug in along the shore. They picked us off one by one, but I knew I had to get my men through. Understand?

Narcissa: No.

[therealhouseofblack]

Narcissa: I’m not gonna go hang out with Andromeda, she can go fuck herself. Although I do feel sorry for her cause I know she’s grieving at the moment.

[therealhouseofblack]

Narcissa to Sirius: You’re not important enough to hate.

[therealhouseofblack]

Narcissa: Bellatrix, you joined a cult.

Bellatrix: Cult is a very negative word Narcissa. We prefer to call it an alternative spiritual community.

Narcissa: Nope, you definitely joined a cult.

[therealhouseofblack]

Narcissa: This may shock you, but not everyone here likes you.

Bellatrix: Sounds ridiculous, but go on.

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Bellatrix: *standing in front of multiple dead bodies* I am happy to hear anyone’s problems with me... Don’t worry about the bodies.

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Rodolphus: Excuse me miss have you ever been arrested?

Bellatrix: Yeah, how could you tell.

Rodolphus: I was gonna say it’s illegal to be that cute. But now I’m curious.

Bellatrix: Aggravated assault.

[therealhouseofblack]

Narcissa Malfoy, at her trail: *crying* So I-I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren’t I a human being? Don’t I yearn, and ache, and shop? Don’t I deserve love... and jewellery.

[therealhouseofblack]

Rodolphus: I’m engaged!

Bellatrix: *shows ring*

Narcissa: That ring!

Rabastan: It was our mother’s, she was buried with it.

Bellatrix: *holds up shovel*

[therealhouseofblack]

Sirius: I like my women how I like my coffee, nowhere near my penis.

[therealhouseofblack]

Sirius: Ah, Bellatrix, your girlish laughter hit me like the lash of a hunting crop.