The Magnificent Kitty Anon

You all know who I am, Yet you don't know who I am. 😏 WHY DOES MY BLOG LOOK SO NAKED. And FORGET I said this. Wait, let me clothe it. *adds background pic* Ahhh, much better!

[therealkittyanon]

hey kitkat lemme eat u bb

[therealkittyanon]

Who are you

WOW THIS WAS A GREAT WAY TO GET ME TO REVEAL MY IDENTITY I MEAN COME ON SENDING AN ASK IS A FOOLPROOF WAY

[spncoldesthits]

Is posting still open? Sorry, the platypus was a bit busy but would still like to participate, platypus please?

Posting is still open as per This Post, so you still have time!

Here’s a link to the countdown for when posting ends at 11:59pm on July 18th.

Once posting ends, promo wars officially start, but you can definitely start waging promo wars at any time!

The end of the challenge is 11:59pm on July 20th, and you can find the Countdown Time For That Here.

All challenge times are PDT/PST/GMT-7. Click Here for the current time.

[theplatypusanon]

Thank you, the platypus doesn’t always have wifi and the platypus is a bit insecure after losing last month. But the platypus has learned from the platypus’s rookie mistakes and tries the platypus’s best to win this time. Still holding up the anon truce agreement with @therealkittyanon, anyone else who’d like to join, anon or not? 

[therealkittyanon]

@theplatypusanon I bet you have wifi only when you visit a certain friend. DON’T FEEL INSECURE my sources tell me that last month’s winner was unable to participate so maybe @fancythingsandgossamerwings *cough*devil*cough* won’t be able to win again. ;)

[spncoldesthits]

July’s Prompt (Posting Dates 15-18 of July)

The July prompt is Hashtags. Go to the Tumblr blog @ao3tagoftheday and choose one post from the blog. Use all the tags on that post to create your fic for July. For example Go to This Post  where the tags are “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and “Scene of a Cannibalistic Ritual,” then write your fic based on those tags. You can also use the tags from the post. Please make sure to include those tags in the description of your fic so we know what they were!

All times are PDT/PST/GMT-7. Click Here for the current time.

How to Play:

1. Post a fic to AO3 (include it in the spncoldesthits collection on AO3) 2. Reblog this post with an AO3 link to your fic

The Rules:

No mention of this challenge in the fic summary/tags (we don’t want people to click knowing it is crack)

If you’d like to explain yourself, add a link back to this post in your end notes and tell your readers what on earth you were doing when you wrote the fic

Any word count/pairing/scenario but it must be SPN (crossovers allowed)

Post sometime between July 15-18 (late posts won’t count)

Add your fic to the spncoldesthits collection on AO3 (if you need help doing this just ask a mod)

In the event of a desperate bid to win, some rules may not apply to the mods ;D

Do not moderate or delete comments on your fic

If you need to lock your fic, you’ll have to take a 1000-point penalty

How a Winner Will Be Picked:

Every hit earns 1 point, every kudos 10 points, every comment 20 points (author replies count)

Author with the LEAST points wins

Screenshots of all stats will be taken at 11:59pm on the 20th and the counts will be added up with a winner announced sometime on the 20th

Promo Wars

Promo wars start as soon as the first fic is posted and continue until 11:59pm on the 20th

Signal boost your rival’s fics

Comment and leave kudos on their fics

Tell your friends to read, leave kudos, and comment on their fics

Create graphics to entice people to read your rival’s fics

Good luck and may the worst fic win!

[therealkittyanon]

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7519717

@spncoldesthits this is my fic.

[spncoldesthits]

is there any participant who bartends/ has bartended? ~Kitty Anon.

Yo Yo My Peepholes!  

is there anyone out there who can help our Kitty Anon?

I have attached a picture of KittyA begging for help (what i imagine them to look like anyway)

[evenifidie]

@spncoldesthits so we’re Peepholes now? No longer Chitters? :(

Anyway I don’t think y’all should have helped @therealkittyanon because y’know they’re evil and stuff?? *still pissed about how they portrayed me in their fic last month*

Anyyyway I seem to recall someone but I just can’t remember? I’m sorry Kitty. :/

[therealkittyanon]

I got my answer you dork. XD Someone told me they mix drinks. STILL EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO LET ME KNOW THAT THEY BARTEND IF THEY WISH TO.

[therealkittyanon]

Letting @spncoldesthits know that if I win the July round I will randomly pick a winner and pass off my win to them. If that is acceptable to the mods and if said choice is extremely good to me.

@spncoldesthits and everyone else, get ready for me.

[spncoldesthits]

psssst

Hi everybody! Maya here. *waves*  So, uhm, did you guys know that @spncoldesthits is just TEN DAYS AWAY!?!

[evenifidie]

WHAT?!?!?!!?! SHIT

@pimentogirl GET TO WORK!! @twxnkdean might wanna see this.

I’ve not written anything. SHIT.

[soupernabturel]

What’s this months theme? I can’t seem to find the post?

[therealkittyanon]

Righty-o Souperoni. it’s here http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/146648925185/julys-prompt-posting-dates-15-18-of-july-the

@spncoldesthits I have the wickedest tag.

[therealkittyanon]

*cackles madly*

HELLO @dreamsfromthebunker I SHALL TROLL YOU TOO NOW. TEE HEE!

@whataboutthefish figured out who I am, yet?

[soupernabturel]

God?

[therealkittyanon]

AW SOUPERONI (that’s soup with pepperoni I hope youre ok with that name. if not i can always come up with more creepy names. should I call you the Pretty Headed Food Item, @soupernabturel?) I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM GOD

You can call me Chuckitty. Telling u my name just so you know what to scream later 

….in annoyance when I write another fic on your head.

[soupernabturel]

Souperoni is fine with me (your mind works in mysterious ways kitkat) but can I ask whats up with the whole interest in my head? Is it weirdly shaped?? Why are you obsessed Kitaki-mushrooms? Does it remind you of a ball of yarn you wish to play with?

[therealkittyanon]

Yay! You shall be the Souperoni now!

(Thank you! I have a friend called Kitkat but you may call me that too.) … I’ll let @theplatypusanon answer that question about your head. But I love all three of your questions! I quite like the image of your head being a ball of yarn! BRING ME THE YAAAARN. Also, I love the name Kitaki-mushrooms. Is it what you call me?

The catpic is so adorable. Do you want to be a fellow cat too?

[theplatypusanon]

The platypus is kind of jealous of your beautiful head @soupernabturel, the platypus can never have that nice of a hairdo. The platypus tried to grow the platypus’s fur out, but platipodes aren’t meant to have a Mohawk, platipodes are conservative like that. But the platypus thinks the nice alpaca farmer upstream would like the platypus in pastel. What do you think, the platypus is always open for suggestions.

[therealkittyanon]

Oh no Platy. No no no. Turn the conservative platipodes onto their heads! REVOLT!

Platypuses in pastel are good.

[electric-sam]

Two baby platypuses wearing fedoras 

Awwwwww :)

[theplatypusanon]

Charles! Mabel! There you are, you little rascals.

[therealkittyanon]

Want me to look after these rascals?? :) UNLIKE A CERTAIN EGGSITTER I DON’T CANCEL AT THE LAST MOMENT.

[therealkittyanon]

*cackles madly*

HELLO @dreamsfromthebunker I SHALL TROLL YOU TOO NOW. TEE HEE!

@whataboutthefish figured out who I am, yet?

[theplatypusanon]

The platypusanon says Hiiiiiiii @whataboutthefish and @dreamsfromthebunker, the platypus is a gentle, furry soft anon unless the platypus, the platypus’s eggs or the alpaca farmer upstream are provoked, then the platypus will use the platypus’s venom. But don’t worry, the platypus almost never ever killed a human. And @therealkittyanon is the platypus’s friend, anon truce still stands for July the platypus hopes.

[therealkittyanon]

Oh really? I must go provoke the alpaca farmer then! Oh no Platy, I’d feel too guilty if I provoked the poor creature! I already hacked into his wi-fi once!

WHAT?! Kitty has a friend?! Kitty is sobbing bit fat tears of happiness because this is the first time anyone has called Kitty their friend! @theplatypusanon is a very good friend of mine! *hugs* Anon truce stands for all eternity unless the platypus’ secret friend trolls the Kitty. But then again it will be the Non-Anon War, not the Anon War. c:

[therealkittyanon]

*cackles madly*

HELLO @dreamsfromthebunker I SHALL TROLL YOU TOO NOW. TEE HEE!

@whataboutthefish figured out who I am, yet?

[soupernabturel]

God?

[therealkittyanon]

AW SOUPERONI (that’s soup with pepperoni I hope youre ok with that name. if not i can always come up with more creepy names. should I call you the Pretty Headed Food Item, @soupernabturel?) I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM GOD

You can call me Chuckitty. Telling u my name just so you know what to scream later 

….in annoyance when I write another fic on your head.

[soupernabturel]

Souperoni is fine with me (your mind works in mysterious ways kitkat) but can I ask whats up with the whole interest in my head? Is it weirdly shaped?? Why are you obsessed Kitaki-mushrooms? Does it remind you of a ball of yarn you wish to play with?

[therealkittyanon]

Yay! You shall be the Souperoni now!

(Thank you! I have a friend called Kitkat but you may call me that too.) ... I’ll let @theplatypusanon answer that question about your head. But I love all three of your questions! I quite like the image of your head being a ball of yarn! BRING ME THE YAAAARN. Also, I love the name Kitaki-mushrooms. Is it what you call me?

The catpic is so adorable. Do you want to be a fellow cat too?

[therealkittyanon]

*cackles madly*

HELLO @dreamsfromthebunker I SHALL TROLL YOU TOO NOW. TEE HEE!

@whataboutthefish figured out who I am, yet?

[soupernabturel]

God?

[therealkittyanon]

AW SOUPERONI (that’s soup with pepperoni I hope youre ok with that name. if not i can always come up with more creepy names. should I call you the Pretty Headed Food Item, @soupernabturel?) I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM GOD

You can call me Chuckitty. Telling u my name just so you know what to scream later 

....in annoyance when I write another fic on your head.

[therealkittyanon]

*cackles madly*

HELLO @dreamsfromthebunker I SHALL TROLL YOU TOO NOW. TEE HEE!

@whataboutthefish figured out who I am, yet?

[spncoldesthits]

Drum roll, please! The results for June’s @spncoldesthits challenge…

Are you sure you wanna know?

Really sure?

Okay, here they are! Points in parentheses.

Dreams by @fancythingsandgossamerwings (463)

Bones the IXth by @reaperlove77 (653)

Triple Beam Lyrical Dream by @spoopernaptime (659)

Superwholocked Teddy Bjorn by @pod7et (863)

Got Your Heart In Too Many Places by Squidapples (898)

The Dead Ladies Finale by @brainsforbabyjesus (951)

To the Art of Drinking  by  tangerine (999)

Don’t Bend Over My Lap Or I’ll Hit On You by @therealkittyanon (1051)

unicorns by @omgishipdestiel (1063)

Are You There God? It’s Me Claire Novak by @hullosweetpea (1085)

The Love Doctor by @powerfulweak (1162)

A Fistful of Sams by @shiphitsthefan (1245)

Foreigner Belt by @kaeostennyo (1387)

A Seduction Using Poison by @soufffloof (1430)

Escape from the Nostromo by @geek-kitty (1443)

Super Helpful by @theplatypusanon (1551)

The loser winner for June is @fancythingsandgossamerwings. They cheated so badly that I almost disqualified them, and they should be very happy that my brain isn’t doing very well or I would’ve gotten Kraellyk (and maybe even Kim) to help me again and we would’ve annihilated them ;D

@reaperlove77 was so close, and definitely gets a pat on the back from me for hinting at Dexter. I’m waiting for a full Dexter fic from one of you guys, but until then I shall wipe my tears with Bones the IXth.

@omgishipdestiel gets a big laugh out of me for the Supernatural/Star Wars crossover. I’m giggling again as I type this :D

Fandoms Represented This Month

Supernatural

Hannibal

Alien (1979)

Marvel

Lord of the Rings

Quantum Leap

Dark Angel

Devour

Sherlock

Doctor Who

Legends of Tomorrow

Discworld

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

And for the first time ever, @spncoldesthits has been turned into an official fandom by @therealkittyanon. Thank you, Kitty!

The poor tag wranglers at AO3 are probably terribly confused and, upon checking out this new tag, were probably deeply disturbed. A moment of silence for their poor eyes.

Thanks to everyone for participating! @fancythingsandgossamerwings needs to let us know what the theme for next month is and we’ll let the rest of you know.

We hope everybody had a good time, and we look forward to having fun with you next month!

Feel free to use the ribbons I made for you guys below the cut.

Keep reading

[therealkittyanon]

YOU’RE WELCOME @spncoldesthits

TELL ME AGAIN, WHY DID I NOT WIN?

Let the tag wranglers be confused out of their fucking wits, that’s the premise of coldest hits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[therealkittyanon]

@geek-kitty @twxnkdean @fancythingsandgossamerwings @spoopernaptime @hullosweetpea @reaperlove77 @kaeostennyo DELETE YOUR COMMENTS AND I WILL DELETE MINE FROM YOUR FICS

[therealkittyanon]

KittyLovesIt

Kitty loves how one of the @spncoldesthits mods (@soufffloof, @whataboutthefish, @mayalaen) knows who Kitty is.

[therealkittyanon]

@spoopernaptime you left a comment on my @spncoldesthits​ story:

Ok But your characterization is so on point like wtf how do you see the most innermost parts of a hitters soul are you a psychic are you our GOD now ???

My answer is: I am both a psychic and your GOD so you can call me Chuckitty Anon if you want.

@geek-kitty

omg i'm crying, this was fucking amazing! i was reading and laughing my ass off, trying not to get sad about not being included in the Hitter Sleepover™, but then suddenly i show up and i'm the MOTHERFUCKIN QUEEN and i have a BEANBAG THRONE. YAAAASSSS.

except now everyone's gonna think i'm the kitty anon but dammit, how can i be the kitty anon if the kitty anon has to report to me on the success of the mission?? am i reporting to myself? i don't think so. i may be a kitty, but i'm not that kitty. i also may be a little bit loony, but i'm not that loony. i don't talk to myself. ok that's a lie, i talk to myself all the time, BUT I'M NOT IN THIS CASE.

and also, you say "DON'T U FUCKIN COMMENT OR I'LL SHOVE A HOT POKER UP DEAN'S ASS AND MAKE U WATCH" like it's a bad thing... i don't think that's gonna be much of a deterrent for most of this crowd.

Confession: I forgot you existed. Then I had to put you in because you’re my fellow kitty and I couldn’t not include you. Also I think you’re loonier than I portrayed you because i am scared of my queen yes? Oh I thought I could stop the incredulous star wars readers by saying that and awesomely no one commented.

I love your comment.

@hellosweetpea

Hahahahahahhahahahha

You've ruined all of these people for me.

I’m going to think of this whenever I see one of them.

What was the point of three comments? Do you stutter when you speak and leave long gaps of silence? (jk honey) Why did I not include you in this? Because I consider you a new hitter. But you are worse than the old ones cause you left three comments i am crying now

But i’m glad my story has affected you so much

@twxnkdean

what the actual fuck

im scared

holy fucking hell

coming from you this is hypocrisy because do i need to remind you of the time you wrote about ghost carrot cocked castiel? (that’s an alliteration)

@fancythingsandgossamerwings 

WTF WTF WTF I AM NOT THAT DEPRAVED OKAY I DON'T SHOVE VEGETABLES UP PEOPLE'S ASSES

WHAT IS UP WITH MAYA BEING IN LOVE WITH SOUP'S HEAD

YOU'VE RUINED ME

ARE YOU GEEK KITTY? BC FIRST DARTH VADER AKA YOU WAS THE EVIL ONE AND THEN IT WAS HER?!?!?!?!!??!! lol tbh at first I thought it was royalrowena

...are you sure you’re not that depraved? soupmaya is a thing is it not? or is it souphead/maya? also @geek-kitty am I u?

@soupernabturel

The fuck did I just read omg.

I'm like flattered and violated and afraid that I'm going to be made into cannibal soup...

Do you like my tribute to your head? Don’t feel afraid i am just a harmless kitty. and no u won’t be made into cannibal soup because @mayalaen has good food sense and cooking a souffle and soup together would yield disgusting results so it’s better to cook neither of you

@reaperlove77 

Yes! Give me a sickle and I'll reap them all! What a great fic In the great tradition of true coldest hits fics!

Thank you lovely. You shall have all the sickles. Thank you for the cover art too. Is your head okay because @copaceticbrainbox booped it pretty hard.