Over the course of their relationship, Will had noticed the visible ticks he had slowly disappear. He didn’t seem to curl into himself anymore. He used to look as if he were on other planets entirely, and it would take a long time to draw him back to reality. Will hadn’t had to do something like that in years. They were thirty now, and although he would never say it to Nico’s face, the son of Apollo liked to believe that he was, in fact, better. Happier. He was able to smile easier, and though his laughs were small, if Will was lucky, he got to hear them every now and then.
Sometimes, though, Nico would get low. Sink really, terribly, gut-wrenching low. It broke Will’s heart to see him go back in time for a while. This was the only definite tell. The only way Will was one hundred and ten percent able to pick up on the fact that his boyfriend was still suffering. Tormenting himself over Bianca’s death, seeing back to all the battles he’d fought, thinking back on his mother. It had started when Nico was twenty two.
He picked up a smoking habit.
Being a doctor,-and a very successful one-, Will wanted to yell at him. Scream at the son of Hades to knock it off, and find a better way to cope. He was ruining his lungs and slowly draining away his life-span. But being Nico’s boyfriend, he didn’t want to say anything. Didn’t want to reopen old wounds that were finally starting to close. It was selfish. It was stupid. He was ruining himself. He just…
Will Solace let this addiction continue for eight years. Until finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He could see Nico, just a few feet away, sitting with one hand draped over his knee and the other holding a cigarette that he maneuvered to be held between two fingers. His back was pressed against the side of the gas station building. From this distance, he could see the dark haired boy put the stick in his mouth, retrieve a lighter, and the tip of the cigarette light up orange.
Will let his feet carry him over. Closing the space. Some steps he wouldn’t remember taking. This was stupid. The idiot was hurting himself. The son of Apollo couldn’t stand it anymore. He was suffering. Alone. He didn’t stop until he was in front of the sitting boy.
“Can I borrow that?” He mumbled, gesturing.
Nico blew out the smoke. “This?” He lifted up the cigarette slightly. When Will didn’t answer, they were frozen in silence for three long beats. Nico took another drag, then offered it up. He looked away when Will took it.
The taste was disgusting. Absolutely foul. Will could almost feel the poison of the nicotine slowly spreading around his lungs. He fought the urge to cough, spit, scream. His lips formed a scowl as he finished exhaling the gray cloud, then he dropped the cigarette and stomped it into the ground. Will hoped his gaze was piercing when he looked at Nico. After a minute, his gaze was met.
“No,” was all the blonde said.
Then he knelt down and crushed his lips to Nico’s. He wasn’t gentle. Wasn’t the kind, caring, and humble doctor. He was frustrated, tired, and helpless boyfriend.
He wanted the son of Hades to understand. Somehow know what it was like, what Will felt watching him tear himself apart.
Nico grunted in shock, but after a second, the kiss was returned. He didn’t last long. When he came back for air, his head hit the building. “Will-” he managed.
Will’s mind was blank. He grabbed a hold of the smaller’s wrists and pinned them on either side of his head. “You-” He lowered his head. “Don’t-”
“Because I want you to kiss me. I’d kiss you, but my hands are a little preoccupied being pinned.”
The noise Will made was both a scoff and a laugh. Damn you, death boy.
He obliged. Kissed him once, long and hard. Sucked on his bottom lip. Gave him little pecks. Again. And again. And again.
If we go down, Will thought to himself as his kisses moved from the lips to the jawline. We go down together, damn it. I swear.
