TheSahmmy

ex-actress, ex-comic, now stay @ home mommy

[thesahmmy]

2018...Dream BIG. I saw these statues and had to do something. Happy Holidays.

[thesahmmy]

I’m a bit behind. This was Halloween. 

[thesahmmy]

Halloween update. Rafael has chosen her costume idea.

Any suggestions as to how to pull this off are welcome.

ps. great to see you all again.

[thesahmmy]

I kept thinking I was turning 49 and I was practicing saying, “fuck you, I’m damn near 50″ as a response to just about anything. 

But I’m the creative type and I suck at math. I’m 48. 

I’m going to round up. 

[thesahmmy]

On entering peri-menopause:

Second periods aren’t as fun as second breakfasts. 

[thesahmmy]

I’m embarrassed to be from this state.

[thesahmmy]

Short Sunday Speech: 

I was at the gym and a woman my age was complaining that her 7th grade son didn’t know how to “hand wash a dish” or “sew a button” and stated her concern for schools not preparing kids with a class in home econ, etc. 

The Fuck? 

My 3rd and 4th graders wash dishes. Why? Because I am not a fucking octopus. I can’t do it all. If my child can build a compound in Minecraft, she can wash a fucking dish. 

I have had several women lately say they just can’t keep up with the laundry. When I ask if kids help they say, “no” or come up with a ridiculous justification why they don’t have them even try. All the women I have had these conversations with have middle school boys. I bet those boys can push a button on their unnecessary phones and find anything in seconds. I’m willing to be my left tit (the good one) that they can push a huge button on a box and make clothes spin. My 8 yr old has her own hamper and knows it is her responsibility to deal with her dirty clothes. Shit. gets. done.

Learned helplessness is a fault of parents, not a school. 

Pull your heads out of your asses, ladies. 

[zodiaccity]

REBLOG IF YOU WERE BORN BEFORE 1991.

[almostcleverblogname-deactivate]

I was already 20 years old by 1991.

I’m probably too old for tumblr.

Fuck if I care.

[luvyacantleaveya-deactivated201]

I was a freshman in college in 1991. On the bright side, I probably know a lot of stuff that people born after 1991 don’t know. But they probably don’t give a shit about those things anyways. So, huh. Nope, I don’t give a fuck either. 😘

[coffeehousezealot-deactivated20]

I was the legal drinking age in 1991. And I did plenty of it.

1990 was the best year ever.

1991 was probably the worst, most painful year of my life.

Wow, I’m a downer, huh?

[whosthecapn]

I was ten in 1991. My biggest concern was if my hotel wheels would beat my friends down the driveway.

[ifjanetranit]

I was married in 1991 and about to graduate from college. And I still listen to new music and I’m fun and responsible and liberal and relatively the same weight and married to the same delightful fellow. I just eat dinner earlier now. 

[havekidslaughmore]

I was starting 9th grade in 1991. I was growing out an ugly perm and bangs, was voted quietest in my class, a nerd, and my only redeeming quality was that I was the only girl in the percussion section in band.

[still-mommag]

I was 10 in 1991. 5th grade with the biggest pair of glasses you hipsters have ever seen! Actually I had 2 pairs, one fire engine red, the other was maroon so that I could match them to my outfits. Which also included tight rolled pants with puffy socks.

[docilestream]

I was 11 in 1991. It was my golden birthday that year. I pretty much thought I needed to be a teenager when 11 is really still such a child. I’m pretty sure that was the year I was really into jean shortalls.

[thesahmmy]

I had just left college to live in Boston and attempt my first job. 

[thesahmmy]

Rafael has been reading one of those ‘what the fuck is happening to my body’ books I gave her. 

R: Mom.

Me: Yes,

R: Well, I just read about tampoons

Me: TampONs

R: No, TamPOONS

Me: Trust me, it’s tampons. But from now on, I think I can only call them TampOONS.

[thesahmmy]

I’ve been insanely, stupid busy with life and work now which I don’t like because I miss this place.

Rafael is going through puberty, has started playing saxophone, has broken her arm, is a catcher for a traveling softball team. 

CD is taking piano lessons from a teacher who is remarkably like  James Monroe Iglehart  so naturally I love lessons as much as she does.

They are both on a all-girls improv team I’m coaching and they all kick ass. 

As an apology for my absence, here is the mac n cheese.  

[thesahmmy]

[thesahmmy]

#thishurts

[thesahmmy]

When you get out of the house after standing in a kitchen for three days. 

[thesahmmy]

GPOY: after learning a member of the family, who will be visiting, thinks we are “guiding Rafael to be masculine”.

ijdfk

[thesahmmy]

Bully boy thought he could pull one over on the Principal and lie about a situation where Rafael stood up for a friend. 

He almost did, until I beat him at his own game and provided hard core evidence that only a mom who volunteers countless hours at the school could find. 

Bring, asshole. 

[thesahmmy]

Art Snacks I gave Rafael Art Snacks for her birthday. Thanks to Tumblr for turning me on to this cool thing. She receives a box monthly with pro art supplies and is learning about life after crayons.

[thesahmmy]

My daughter brought home a recorder. She will be tested on 9 songs, progressing in difficulty in order to get ‘cords’ of achievement. 

Today is song 1: Hot Cross Buns.