Katie (the) Schutzkus

If you can't pronounce my name, you're missing out.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Strand magazine, England, April 1908

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

[superkat500]

Those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number

[haiku-robot]

those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

Those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number Haiku Bot v2021.1~beta I make mistakes. I am buggy too. Sorry! | HAIKU BOT NO! Paypal | Patreon

[krystal-prisms]

Haiku bot, babe, you already did this one. Good try though, mate

[haiku-robot]

Thanks for pointing out my visible fuckups, why don’t you eat cheetos flavored popsicle instead of insulting me or my haikus?

[idekwhatthisbl0ggisanymore]

HAIKU BOT???

[funny-tik-toks]

[funny-tik-toks]

[newtonpermetersquare]

Science History!

[sludgejudy-deactivated20220405]

HOW TO UNREGISTER FROM NBA DRAFT

[sludgejudy-deactivated20220405]

I DONT WANT TO PLAY

[sludgejudy-deactivated20220405]

HOW TO DODGE NBA DRAFT

[yesterdaysprint]

The News Journal, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, May 12, 1915 

[theschutzkus]

Always repost a too-soon joke

[beetleboo]

[funny-tik-toks]

[elle-eedee]

[squareallworthy]

[pastel-papercut]

[funny-tik-toks]

[funny-tik-toks]

[weirdmageddon]

spiders ?

[funny-tik-toks]

[yesterdaysprint]

Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Mississippi, May 10, 1938

[o-kurwa]

[funny-tik-toks]