OK. i’ve seen a lot of humans are space orcs posts, and I loved them. but i think there is something missing.
You see, statistically speaking, humans are more likely to be space goblins.
the theory goes that if we take the population of the universe as a whole, the majority of creatures will exist on the minority of populated worlds. In other words, 90% of sentients will populate 10% of the populated worlds (i’m making the percentages up because i’m too lazy to look it up again). Since it is more likely that we are part of that 90% than not, our planet would likely be one of the most heavily populated worlds in the galaxy. Similar calculations indicate that the average alien would probably be larger than us.
With higher populations comes more rapid technological advancement. Globalization has resulted in our tech progressing by leaps and bounds. In other words, we might be among the first in the galaxy to invent space travel, just because there are more of us to try to figure it out.
Also, we live on a planet. We don’t think much of that, but planets are not particularly likely to hold life. In order to hold life, a planet must have a roughly circular stable orbit that keeps it within the “Goldilocks” zone around the sun (not too hot or cold). Most planets miss that zone or are in it for brief periods of time, and so could not sustain complex life, if any. it’s far more likely for life to evolve on a moon orbiting a gas giant, such as europa, so long as such a moon has sufficient water and is close enough to the planet for it’s tidal forces to “melt” the water, producing an ocean under a shell of ice. As such, most habitable worlds would be icy on top and all life in them would be aquatic. Further, they would be used to a moon’s gravity.
This means that, using statistics, we can determine that humans are short, with technical sophistication, heat resistance, and the superior strength that comes from a higher degree of gravitational force, and we would have a higher average tech level than most in the galaxy, not because we are smarter but because there are more of us sciencing. As covered in other “humans are space orcs”, we also would have a higher endurance and durability, as that is how we evolved. Further, though we aren’t aquatic we can still swim pretty well, have evolved to adopt other species of lower intelligence as pets and servants, and have developed extensive martial arts knowledge to make up for our lack of natural weapons.
We are not space orcs. we are space goblins.
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