[thesenamesareabitmuch]

The right music can make you invincible. That symphony of sound propelled at you through nothing but bits of plastic and metal. The booming sensation flows through you like it’s blood in your veins and it stimulates your brain to discover the potential you never knew you had. Your hair stands on edge. Your breath shortens, but all you are doing is sitting staring into empty space with nothing but these little bits of plastic and metal in your ears with a head full of thoughts being drowned out by that beautiful cacophony that makes you forget about it all.

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

You know what it’s like when you don’t see someone for a long time. I could picture her face at first, with the elegance and grace that drove others wild with feelings of compassion and desire. The way she smiled even the thought could warm you in the coldest of nights. Her laughter echoed in you head causing such sweet rejoice. But as time pass her face begins deform and change as the memories begin to fade. I fear for that girl.

I fear she won’t be the same.

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

This isn’t right. I’ve lost all feeling in my arms, the colour that once gripped my face has been removed leaving me pale. They loom over me grinning and laughing unaware to the fact they are bleeding me dry. It’s like they are enjoying each moment the humanity in me is stolen. Piece by piece, inch by inch. I am being swallowed whole by this place. I will be assimilated to the walls and the floors leaving no trace of my existence.

[avanillaopus]

with love xoxo

[sarahbeara113]

I make jokes about my medical issues because it’s easier than facing the fact that I’ll be living in severe pain the rest of my life.

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

The smoke in my lungs used to numb the constant unforgiving dread of tomorrow but over time the sensation faded, the cold of the outside world crept back into my life. I wanted new ways to stop the tinnitus-like pain ringing in the back of my brain but nothing ever made up to those few short seconds of chemical bliss. The cutting worked. The feeling of the essential fluid of my body seemed like a cure beyond normal understanding but it comes with a heavy burden of wearing long sleeves to hide the marks of freedom but I couldn’t maintain the constant upkeep of warm clothing. I can’t feel the cold it’s not fair. I feel like there’s an furnace cooking away at my organs and the cold keeps it from eating away at my whole being. That heat stopped when my wrist bled from the metallic touch of little thing. What a simple relief that that blessed piece of metal caused. It gave me the idea for just a moment I could feel better and made all my problems void. those few short moments was what I lived for, what drove me to get home. What kept me from the edge of insanity.

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

I could feel it approaching however, this time it came as a new form. It entered with false comforts and gentle hands. It’s face full of innocence that broke and bent all those that opposed her path. It sung words sewn with gold with tender tones. Edging me closer and closer to their warm embrace. Until it drew me in close enough to remove the facade. Until it was too late for me to escape. Which that held me close transformed becoming malformed and grotesque. I became snared in the arms that now constricted me. The hands once soft became cold and harsh. It no longer sung such sweet tunes but now gargled and hissed spewing a haze further choking my lungs of air. I remembered this sensation. One of suffocation and pain. As I stared back into the eyes of an old acquaintance. Death

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

If I could go back and speak to my past self.

I’d tell him he doesn’t need to feel like nothing. You don’t need to hurt yourself because you think you deserve it just so you can feel a little bit better. I’d tell him he’s going to be okay just give it a little more time. You’re going to find someone who loves you. But it wouldn’t have any affect as it was what I always told myself back then but I thought it was just a sweet lie that would keep me alive.

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

If the day comes when the heavens open and the earth beneath our feet cracks, if all the sins of creation are released unto humanity and everything around us erupts into flames, we will stand together, your hand in mine until the bitter end.

A.M

[thesenamesareabitmuch]

You fill me with feeling I’ve never known. The words you say should be studied by scholars for generations like the great romantics before. Your face is like a masterpiece, it should be cherished amongst those who are lucky enough to bare witness to it. Your writings could sway the blind into feeling such raw emotion without even observing the pages but yet they still would not be able to fully grasp the true feeling of those bloody poems.

A.M