The Serene Bean

The path to serenity is strewn with beans

[theserenebean]

The Serene Bean

Espresso Yourself

Stable Stance take it black Kick in the Teeth a subtle chili flavor Hit from Behind coconut Cross Strike salted caramel Overhead Block peanut butter cinnamon Grasping Block marshmallow coconut Mountain Punch orange zest and almond Upper Hand butterscotch Spinning Kick hazelnut, marshmallow, caramel Pressure Point peppermint Armed and Dangerous chocolate Shadow Blend dark chocolate

It's Never Too Latte

Change Your Mind pumpkin spice Try Again white chocolate pomegranate Learn Something New peanut butter rose Make a Plan apple cinnamon Run Away marshmallow chocolate with graham cracker crumble Apologize rose, cherry Forgive chocolate, coconut Call for Help strawberry vanilla Begin hazelnut Begin Again hazelnut with caramel Take a Lunch raspberry pomegranate Come Home french vanilla

Milking the Bit

regular almond coconut soy

Plain Old Vanilla vanilla... we told you twice now Chocolate Infinity chocolate milk with cocoa powder and chocolate shavings If You Caramel salted caramel steamer with a hint of almond Butterscratch butterscotch and cinnamon with white chocolate shavings Too Cherry cherry flavored steamer with whipped cream and a cherry on top A Little Bit Nutty almond and hazelnut topped with graham cracker crumble Berry Fondue strawberry, blueberry, blackberry, white chocolate shavings Citrus With Us orange Strategically Placed Banana Peel banana, coconut, vanilla wafers

All Goes Smoothies

Mix in your chosen energy drink to make it go Too Far for an additional 2.50 hours of learning your lesson

In the Rain blueberry, cranberry, pansies Kumquaterie kumquat, lychee, lemon soda Only Dreaming blackberry, cantaloupe, coconut Nightly Vigil cocoa, blueberry Undue Harm avocado, rose, lemon soda, a hint of wasabi Meddling Mango mango, banana, raspberry Wanted Dead or Alive strawberry, coconut, rose Hit and Run cherry, lime, almonds To the Bitter End cocoa, banana, rose Ugly Cry cocoa, almond, caramel First Watch strawberry and mango The Greater Good blackberry and lime

Only a Teas

Add cream to any blend for an additional 0.15 of your journey.

All teas come with honey, request to leave out

Blue in the Face creamy blueberry lotus blend Honking Handshake rooibos blend with marshmallow root and cocoa Medicinal Laughter chamomile-mint topped with pea blossoms Jump Scare a creamy cinnamon brew under a light floral white tea He Who Smelt It a sharp citrus blend with cornflower and a hint of sage Set the Clock Back lotus, chamomile, elderberry Trap Door lily-rose tea with basil and almond Funny Face a creamy honeysuckle elderberry blend with notes of licorice

Sandwichcraft

Earth roast beef on ciabatta; cheddar cheese, mushrooms, onions, creamy garlic sauce Wind cucumber on rye; avocado, white beans, vinaigrette Water duck on sourdough; swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, blueberry marmalade Fire chicken on ciabatta; red peppers, mozzarella cheese, mango habanero aioli Void four cheese blend on rye; tomato, light pesto

Just Desserts

A Better Tomorrow blueberry muffin Small Surprises cranberry fritters with orange glaze Second Love 3 chocolate eclairs Lost and Found slice of kumquat meringue pie The End of All Things slice of kahlua cake with chocolate glaze

[yellowhollyhock]

can someone explain the update to me like i'm dumb because i might be

[yzafre]

okay we've seen the explanations going around now. but also we could test this in practice.

....wait we would need a third participant to reblog from ME and add a new "body of post comment" to then find out what your activity + notifications + notes look like at that point. also maybe replies in the second/third tier reblogs for full testing? I really wanna see what this LOOKS like from a full start-to-finish perspective

sorry for forcefully dragging you into my experiment here ahah

[yzafre]

ALRIGHT okay but what if I am BOTH the second and third tier reblog. What happens now?

[theserenebean]

closing up shop, see y'all next time

[theserenebean]

Well, now I simply must try Chocolate Infinity, with almond milk, of course

"I'm not making it!" Vernon cries at once. "Never in a million years! Not after what happened last time!"

"Didn't you hide under the table the whole time?" Venus asks innocently.

"One Chocolate Infinity coming right up," Keno says with a slight smirk.

[theserenebean]

What steamer would you recommend?

"Oh," Raphael turns towards the counter, "You should always go for almond-based with the steamers."

"You didn't get almond-based," Donatello points out, nibbling his slice of cake.

"I mean always except for the Strategically Placed Banana Peel," Raphael shoots back.

"You should Citrus With Us," Donatello suggests, pulling out a chair next to him.

"Don't be Too Cherry," Raphael warns him, "You'll scare them off."

"Hey," Keno says from the counter, "If either of you Caramel, you don't work here."

"Raphael does," Donatello protests.

Keno makes a so-so motion with his hand. Raphael, being a classy turtle, ignores him.

"Our Butterscratch steamer is very good, especially with almond milk," Venus offers.

"Just don't get the Chocolate Infinity," Raphael warns. "It's somehow the strongest drink on the menu--even worse than the Shadow Blend."

Donatello shudders. "Don't mention the Shadow Blend."

[theserenebean]

The door opens, then closes swiftly. The bell has not even chimed.

Keno and Vernon are arguing over a jar of marbles, which seems to be infinitely spilling in spite of being perfectly upright and tightly sealed.

Venus immediately turns her attention to the counter, watching for a customer. The longer no one appears, the more intense her focus becomes, until she is surrounded by a pale blue aura, her eyes closed.

"You're losing all of your marbles, can't you see that?"

"Me?! This is all your fault!"

She opens them abruptly, and moves with purpose towards the third table on the left.

A chair scoots back as if startled. She immediately changes direction, marching towards the table closest to the exit. This time a hooded figure is visible fleeing from under the table, and then--

The sound of a whoopee cushion interrupts Keno and Vernon's argument. Vernon screams, hiding behind Keno.

Venus now stands face-to-face with the hooded figure. Everyone tenses.

"You are not in your own world," Venus explains with surprising gentleness. "This is a place where anything may happen. Do you understand?"

The figure takes a tentative step forward. Venus holds out a hand encouragingly.

Then, the bell chimes. Donatello and Raphael enter, wearing trench coats. They look exhausted.

"If I never see another title sequence it'll be too soon," Raphael declares. Donatello makes a vague sound of agreement.

The figure flees, allowing the bell to chime his departure.

Venus puts her hands on her hips. "You two scared off a newcomer!"

"He'll be back," Donatello said dismissively. "I need a Cross Strike."

"I'll take a Strategically Placed Banana Peel," Raphael added.

Keno raised his eyebrows at their tired faces and lack of snappy comebacks. "Looks like a night for a couple orders of The End of All Things."

Donatello glanced at Raphael. "Can we afford that?"

Raphael shrugged. "What are they gonna do, raise the stakes? Maybe instead of trying to take over the world, Shredder and Krang will go for the universe."

[theserenebean]

I want to try In the Rain but make it Too Far B)

"Oh, I like that one!" Venus says brightly, jotting it down.

Vernon sniffs. "Well, you didn't have to make it Too Far."

Keno rolls his eyes at Vernon, already sliding your smoothie across the table.

"Just remember it comes with a price," he warns, "And we don't always know what it'll be."

"I know what it'll be," Vernon mumbles. "Mixing an energy drink into a perfectly good smoothie--"

"Stop being such a crying baby," Venus scolds. "He is being a grump because no other Vernons ever come here," she tells you.

"There was one," Keno grinned, apparently cheered by the memory.

Vernon scowls and turns away. "Hmph!"

[theserenebean]

✨The Serene Bean has appeared in your neighborhood✨

At the counter tonight: Vernon, Venus, and Keno

On the radio tonight: Take the World by Storm

[theserenebean]

gotta close now, thanks everyone for coming <3

[theserenebean]

Water and wanted dead or alive

"Great choice," Angel writes the order down, even though April has already gone to the back to make a sandwich. Leo gets started on preparing a tea.

"It'll never not be weird to be that we have a sandwich called Water," Angel admits to you. "Fire or Void sound like decent sandwich names. Earth is a bit weird but it works. But Water? That shouldn't be a sandwich. The thought of wet should not be linked with a sandwich. Right?"

"I think it's definitely worse that our drinks have murderous names like Wanted Dead or Alive," Leo counters.

Angel turns to engage him in conversation, then her face falls flatly.

"Dude, what are you making? Wanted is a smoothie."

Leo looks down at the tea he was about to pass across the counter. "Oh. Then what did I make?"

Angel shakes her head and gets your smoothie started, just as April returns with your sandwich.

[theserenebean]

Fire and a Mountain Punch

"Fire!" Leo happily holds a finger up, "Is a sandwich!"

"Got your Mountain Punch," Angel slides the drink across the counter. "Your sandwich will be right up."

Leo hurries back to watch April make Fire while Angel takes over the register.

[theserenebean]

All three phones chime; they've gotten a message from 07 Mikey

Leo and April gather around Angel's phone to watch together.

The camera is pointed at Donnie, who holds a latte in one hand, an espresso in the other.

"It's not a big deal either way. Which one do you want? Hey. Why are you filming this?"

Mikey giggles from behind the camera. "I got my own, you just gotta try to espresso."

Donnie's eyes narrow suspiciously. "Why? Is Jones working today?"

"No, it's not Jones," Mikey whines. "Just try it Donnie, pleeeease?"

Donnie sniffs it suspiciously. "What's in it?"

"It's coffee."

"Yeah, but what's in it that you're not telling me?"

"You gotta taste it if you wanna find out."

Exasperation and amusement are warring across Donnie's face. Curiosity finally wins out. He takes a small sip.

His face scrunches up in disgust, and he holds the cup as far from himself as he can. Mikey is giggling uncontrollably. After a moment of recovery, Donnie starts giggling too.

"What's in that?"

Mikey is laughing too hard to respond.

"We gotta get Raph to try this," Donnie stands up.

"Dude," Mikey sobers just enough to find his voice, "Do you wanna die?"

"He'll think it's funny. Come on, let's wake--"

The video ends.

April shakes her head, fighting an amused smile. Leo sheepishly covers a smile.

"He thought Jones made it?" Angel is torn between smug and offended.

"What's their Raph like?" Leo asks shyly. He can see his own brothers acting pretty much exactly like that, but he's heard of other Raphs and Donnies who wouldn't find it so humorous.

"Don't know," Angel shrugs, "They don't talk much about him or Leo."

Leo's heart sinks just a little; he knew they didn't talk about him much, but it still hurt to hear.

"I think we're about to find out," April announces. A moment later, Angel's phone dings.

"There it is," she agreed. "I'll never get used to you being able to do that." With no further preamble, she presses play.

"Why are we filming? You gonna send this to your co-workers?"

"Just the ones working tonight," Donnie comes into the shot as he scoots a little closer to Raph. "We told you about teenage April, and Angel."

"And Leo," Mikey adds from behind the camera. "Or well, a version of Leo."

Something in Raph's face changes. "You got a Leo working there now?"

"He's really young," Donnie explains. Then he looks directly at the camera. "They're all very small children."

Angel makes an indignant noise and April rolls her eyes.

"Just try the coffee!" the camera bounces chaotically as Mikey gets anxious for action.

"Alright, okay, I'm going to. Don thought it was gross?"

"But he didn't throw up."

"But he only took a small little sip."

"So you only have to take a small little sip," Donnie replies. "If anyone has to drink the whole thing it's Mikey, he ordered it."

"Bro, you already know I'm not throwing up," Mikey drawls confidently. "It isn't even that weird. Y'all weak."

"Hey, I haven't tried it yet," Raph protested, holding it up to his lips pointedly. Looking at the camera, he took a large gulp.

He sets it down, face carefully blank. There's a stretch of silence as they wait for his reaction.

"Is this your plan to get Don to quit coffee?"

Mikey is laughing so hard, Donnie has to reach across the table to end the video for him.

April and Angel chuckle lightly and go back to their tasks. Leo forces a laugh, too, trying to pretend the glaring absence of a fourth brother didn't completely distract him from the rest of the video.

[theserenebean]

A portal appears in the middle of the shop, and the rise turtles stumble out

"Leo," Raph pushes himself to his feet, looking around, "Where did you take us?"

"Sure doesn't look like the center of the maze, Donnie observes.

"I wanted pizza!" Mikey waves his arms angrily. "We were this close to getting pizza, twice!"

Leo waves his words away. "But my brother, why would you want plain old Hueso pizza or pretentious maze pizza that was supposed to the best ever, when instead, you can have," he gestures grandly around them, eyes flicking as he takes in his surroundings. A note of uncertainty creeps into his voice. "Coffee? And sandwiches? At a clearly superior establishment which I brought us to? No danger mazes here."

He slumps back into a chair, arms crossed behind his head. At the counter, Leo winces just before he hears the whoopee cushion.

His brothers stare, unimpressed, as Leo's eyes widen in horror and he pulls the offending prop out from under him.

"Well at least we can still get some--holy sine over cosine what is this menu?!" Donnie stares at the menu above, looking scandalized. Behind the counter, Leo manages a nervous noise. April steps up to help.

"I'm sure you guys have lots of questions--"

"Is there anything edible available at this establishment?"

Mikey pushes Donnie out of the way, eyes shining. "I wanna try one of everything! Wait. Where are the prices?"

"Everything comes with a price," April recites, "But--"

"How do you ruin coffee? How can you possibly ruin coffee? Please tell me you at least have flavorless juice!"

"I apologize, please forgive my tasteless antisocial brother--"

"Apologize and Forgive coming right up," Angel hollers.

"Wait," Mikey panics, "I didn't--ah, can we make those espressos?"

"Done."

"No!" Raph slides Mikey and Donnie out of the way. "No espressos for these two. Can we just start our order over?"

"You want to Begin Again?" April checks.

"Yes, please."

"As an espresso or a latte?" Angel asks.

Raph blinks. "Latte?"

"Ooh, I'll take Run Away, as it comes," Leo raises his hand to be seen beside Rapg.

"Good choice for you," Angel quips.

"Sandwiches!" Mikey pushes his way back up front. "We need sandwiches!"

"Flavorless juice!" Donnie insists.

"Two orders of Small Surprises to share," Leo says easily.

"Ooh, Wind with extra vinaigrette."

"Where are you reading? Raph doesn't see sandwiches."

"Hey, did anyone catch what she said about the price?" Leo cuts in thoughtfully.

"We can't always guarantee what it'll be," Leo speaks up.

For one blessed moment, there is silence as all four brothers blink disbelievingly at him.

"That's a terrible business model," Donnie says flatly. "I'll take two Fires. And we should get The End of All Things."

"You have chaotic tastes," April observes.

"I do," Donnie agrees mournfully, "Which is why I need my flavorless juice to--"

"I'll try Wind, I trust Mikey's taste," Leo interrupts. "Hey Raph, what do you want to eat?"

"Uh, I'll take Fire too, and we should get Void for April and Water for Dad. But can we go back to the espressos?"

April checks over the menu. "There is no Going Back. Did you want Change Your Mind?"

"Yes!"

"As an espresso, right?"

"... What."

"Mountain Punch for April!" Mikey pipes up. "And Only Dreaming for Dad, he does not need caffeine."

Angel sets the last drink on the counter. "Apologize, Forgive, Change Your Mind, and Mountain Punch--espressos. Begin Again and Run Away are lattes, Only Dreaming is of course the only smoothie, I got three Fires, two Winds, Void and Water, two Small Surprises, The End of All Things and of course," she gives Donnie a look, "One Flavorless Juice. Y'all understand there's a price for all this, right?"

"Just tell us what it is!" Mikey shoots back.

"We can't do that," April says flatly.

They stare at each other for a moment.

"You want this to go or are you getting a table?" Angel prompts.

"Oh, we have a table," Leo smirks, swirling his sword through the air. A portal appears, and Donnie and Mikey begin gathering food and drinks.

"So we're clear," Raph reiterates, "We're not stealing. Because you wouldn't tell us the price, or we would've paid."

"That's not really how it works here," Leo starts to explain, but faster than he can believe, the four turtles and all their food has disappeared through the portal. He blinks dazedly, then turns to April and Angel.

"Did they even notice they were in an alternate reality?"

"I don't think so," April replies.

[theserenebean]

2007 Mikey enters

Leo brightens at the somewhat familiar face, even though he knows by now that it isn't really his Mikey.

"Hey, Mike!" Angel calls brightly across the restaurant. "What are you doing here on your day off?"

"I get a sick sense of pleasure from using work spaces as non-work spaces," he grins.

"That makes sense, you work at birthday parties," April observes.

Mikey laughs. "I actually am here on business this time, though. The Boss sent me."

Leo fidgets, feeling nervous seeing his little brother--or someone like his little brother--lean against the counter with a conspiratorial look around and a serious look in his eye. Did he mean the owner of the coffee shop?

"What, he didn't wanna come say hi?" Angel asks indignantly. Leo is both impressed and horrified by the casual way she talks about their employer.

"He's didn't even put the call on hold, just handed me the paper with his order and some cash! He wants double-strength Cross Strike, but I'm feeling kinda vindictive. Make it a latte instead?"

"You got it." Angel hurries off to make the smoothie. Leo gapes.

"We can't do that!"

"Sure you can, it's easy--look, Angel will show you. You just use the same flavors--"

"No, I mean, he asked for double-strength. We can't just trade it for a latte."

Mikey taps his chin thoughtfully. "No, you're right. My brother needs his caffeine fix, and I may have just thought of an even better way to break him of it. I mean get it for him, heh."

Leo leans back, feeling suspicious. He doesn't trust whatever Mikey's planning, but he does catch a different detail that throws him off enough to keep him relatively calm. "Your brother?"

"Whatever you're thinking, don't," April says firmly.

"Pesto expresso."

"What?" Leo yelps, horrified.

"I am making that," Angel declares as she sets the latte on the counter. "You guys can't stop me."

"First of all, you're both horrible," April crosses her arms firmly, "Secondly, if you do get him or anyone else to drink that you have to send us a video. Thirdly, you want anything for yourself?"

"Oh, she's good," Mikey admits, "Very good. I'll take a Berry Fondue."

[theserenebean]

What smoothie would you recommend?

"Um," Leo stiffens, shrinking into himself a bit at being put on the spot.

"Meddling Mango," Angel offers.

At the same moment, April says, "Hit and Run."

"Really?" Angel sounds surprised, but not judgmental. "I didn't take you for a cherry kid."

"My favorite is To the Bitter End," April replies, "But Hit and Run sells more."

"Huh, I haven't noticed a lot of Hit and Run orders. Nightly Vigil is pretty popular, though if you're going for blueberry, I would recommend In the Rain."

"Definitely," April agrees. "The cranberry is more subtle than you would think, and the pansy flavor is unexpectedly pleasant."

"I think it takes a lot of people by surprise." Then Angel's face lights up with understanding. "Oh, I get it, like being caught in the rain."

Leo is almost visibly trembling. "You guys just named like five smoothies!"

"Yeah, but there's an obvious right answer," Angel shrugs.

Leo's eyes burn with determination. "You're right!" He steps away to make your drink. Angel and April glance uncertainly at each other, but seem to decide to give him space.

In a moment, Leo is sliding a smoothie across the counter to you. "Kumquaterie! Because we value you as a customer and hope you come back to share company with us again soon. Have a great day, and thank you for choosing The Serene Bean!"

[theserenebean]

Stable Stance and A Better Tomorrow

"Of course," Leo says brightly, "Thank you for coming! Stable Stance..." he glances nervously at the menu behind him. "That's the, uh..."

Angel swoops into action, sliding a black coffee across the counter before Leo's had time to find it on the menu.

"Oh, right, plain," Leo recites to himself under his breath, "Because it's stable. Plain coffee. And A Better Tomorrow is... a sandwich?"

"Dessert," Red prompts.

"Kahlua cake?"

Angel hands you a blueberry muffin, giving Leo a quick pat on the shoulder. "You'll get the hang of it."

[theserenebean]

We Are Open!

if you saw this on the wrong blog, no you didn't

Tales Leo is at the counter, shoulders square, nametag visible. Angel leans against the counter behind him. 2012 April is next to her, folding napkins into various star shapes. Don't Stop Me Now plays on the radio