excerpt of her mind

i'm better now, so you know.

[theshadowscast]

a reminder from my subconscious mind

if only you had been so lucky to have me be your worst nightmare

to have the privilege of having me around only at night

if i became unbearable you could just

wake up

in a cold sweat nonetheless

but not drowning

not gasping for air

kicking without aim

without a surface to reach

sleep paralysis could be favourable

the demon at the end of your bed can stare

it can sit on your chest and suffocate you

but with me you’ll be praying that you’ll choke

taking in what could be your last breath

and refusing to let it go

while i prod at your lungs

and press my thumb on your esophagus

the demon can’t break your skin like i do

it can’t crack your ribs and wrap itself with the last remaining strands of sanity running through your veins

i’ll freeze your bloodstream

and make you forget what it was like to be warm

and as you lay there

frost bitten to the core

you will long for the demon to perch upon your chest

and thaw out your frozen soul.

[lachantefleurie]

[sunthang]

paradise

[theshadowscast]

a breakdown is an emotional intoxication

where you’ve drunk so many tears that have run down your cheeks and forced their way through your lips

the devastation reeking through your pores

your vomit of consciousness overpowers the smell

leaving the residue;

that toxic taste of self pity to burn your throat

nothing can put out the fire that stops your words from escaping the fumes

the only water is that from your eyes

which seems to cause more burning than soothing

but nobody will worry about you

if you know how to act sober.

[daughterofchaos]

The Palm Leaf and The Pearl (both ca. 1894) by William Bouguereau

[winternow]

[theshadowscast]

you don’t need to set up a shield to stop arrows that once broke your trust and embedded themselves into your heart your fingers have grown sore and tired from trying to get the splinters out, i know.

yet, you let me into the walls you built letting your guard down, staying vulnerable to betrayal.

please know that i won’t take that for granted you don’t need to prepare for a civil war no friendly fire will need to be extinguished you won’t need to rebuild your walls.

[melisica]

[theshadowscast]

blown fuse

you become aware of every noise

you hear every drop of water falling from the faucet, doing what your eyes are deemed incapable of

the beeping of the washing machine becomes more of a countdown to the moment in time in which your brain might explode than a sign of being clean

you’re a car accelerating in reverse; you have no power here

maybe you can see the damage you’re causing in the rear view mirror - but there’s nothing you can do to stop it

you’re a car accelerating in reverse; you’ve traveled down this road before

but now, you’re going backwards - it’s dark and you’re trying to navigate your way through the streets of your mind and you could have sworn you had to take a left and that’s the reason you’re lost

but you’re still going backwards

you’ll stop at times, maybe you’ve run out of fuel or maybe you got stuck in a ditch

yet, even when you jump start the engine and you think there's an ounce of hope left, you continue to drive only in reverse

the safest thing to do now is close your eyes and hope that by the time you crash, the damage you’ve caused to everything around you is more reversible than yourself.

[theshadowscast]

i speak a lot about space and the sky because my mind always seems to be above the clouds and it’s so hard to come back down since i’ll always need a running start because the world’s just so busy and won’t ever stop spinning i need to adapt every time my feet touch the ground i need a time machine just to catch up to everyone else

they all just seem to be moving a lot faster than i am as if maybe they’ll have time left over in the end since they used so little to get where they are now but i’ve just been floating in the atmosphere while the world kept spinning below me

yet both the ants below and i still fight an ongoing war with time maybe we ought to learn to be at peace with the limited time we’re all given and learn to be at peace with one another

and maybe once in a while we can sit in the clouds together and learn from the birds they’ve already mastered the concept of time and harmony without having any real sense of either.

[heavensghost]

For I can’t help falling in love with you

[theshadowscast]

sup hoe

[theshadowscast]

ties & knots

and just like that the endless tug of war of emotions came to an end

as if the magnetic field that once brought us closer to each other separated,

like us 

and was finally pulling us apart

there was no more winning 

no more false accusations of who crossed the line 

 but we weren't being pulled into oblivion 

rather to another force that was strong enough to pull together the broken heart strings we ripped in ourselves and blamed each other for 

we've both found someone to help heal our self inflicted pain 

and just like that 

a lifetime of emotions that took over our hearts for only a matter of months was over 

and just like that you left leaving nothing but the memories 

which only live in our eyes 

and only come to life as tears 

and just like that the rope we pulled back and forth was the final heart string to snap

just like this.

[iamnotsadatall-deactivated20190]

[theshadowscast]

cosmic lovers

you had stars in your eyes you had constellations in your mind and although you were a supernova you were just a black hole waiting to happen.

[galapaqos]

[anabundanceof]

[theshadowscast]

broken spaceship

you loved space so much i let you occupy every bit of it that i had in my mind and now i can't get you out