Jayce | steddie/ineffable husbands/anderperry/royjamie blog | bound to change at any point | i also talk about taylor swift more than the average person | genderfluid/fem presenting |💙💜🩷| safe space except for Billy apologists | Aziraphale has done nothing wrong ever in his life
hey yall this is mostly for me but I'm compiling a sort of timeline for the Willablues snippets so I can get them in order lmao. Plus then it's easier to find anything that might have been missed
Asexual Steve Harrington. Stay with me now. He always just sort of "played the part" when it came to sex. Didn't really enjoy it, thought it was awful and boring and miserable. Nobody else makes him feel good; and whenever he wanted to say no, actually I don't want to do this, anybody he's been with has just pouted and sort of forced the hand to work in their favor. It makes Steve feel disgusting.
However, he still masturbates. It took some time to approach and attempt the idea of masturbation, simply because he thought it would feel just as gross and just as miserable. But he's in control. If he hates it, then he can just...stop. There's nothing there to manipulate him, to guide him, to force him.
And, yeah, he really fucking enjoys masturbating. He loves the squirming as he gets turned on, he loves the control of making himself wait to get off, he loves being able to lazily stroke himself while he finds something to keep his erotic interest. There's no pressure to unfold it all, to keep going and going, or pressure to go quick because there's someone else that needs more of his attention. He can tease himself. He can be handsy with himself in a way he likes—no more fingernails digging into the wrong spots, or rough knuckles where the skin is too thin; he can fondle his chest, he can skirt his fingertips along his pelvis, he can smear his thumbpad along the tip of his cock. He can do literally anything he fucking he wants. Lube up his fingers and crook them inside himself, can lazily grind into his own mattress (or hand), use vibrators and sex toys without the guise and pressure to look good for somebody else—he can come apart as messy as he wants, as debauched as he needs.
Masturbating for him is almost ritualistic. It's something he has to get his mind ready for. Something he sets aside time for. Something he sets the mood for. He has specific magazine pages and erotic novel lines that he goes back for every single time; he has a brain that can create the fiction into personal fantasy for him.
It's never about the appearance of another person, usually skips over that part anyway. It's about the pulsating throbs to his cock, the tight pull of his stomach, the shorter his breaths get as he gets closer and closer, it's about the intimacy of knowing his own body and being able to meet it step by step.
Then, however, he falls in love with Eddie. There's nothing wrong with falling in love with Eddie, not at all. It's just...even with his reputation, Eddie's had a lot of experience with sex, with staged scenes, with roleplay and dirty talk. And there's this sort of wall that Steve's not willing to climb, wherein Eddie may want to have sex and then gets upset when Steve says no. Like he's refusing Eddie for everything altogether.
Before they even start shooting flirts back and forth, Steve confesses to Eddie. Tells him that, "Yes, I like you. But also you need to know this..." and expects to get rejected.
What happens instead is, "Okay."
"Okay?"
A shrug. "Yeah, okay. No sex. Our relationship can go beyond sex, y'know."
So that's what it is. They have a romantic relationship with no sex. Obviously, Eddie has sexual desires, but he never turns to Steve for them, never puts him in that position. Instead, he turns to his own hand, to fantasies, to sex toys. And he's honest, he is, the masturbating isn't as fulfilling as other things have been for him in the past—but he's not frustrated. Eddie takes breaks from masturbating, just so the sensations are tenfold the next time. Even after Steve tells him that he can have sex with other people, Eddie doesn't take it. It's either Steve and their relationship, or nothing at all.
It's when Steve wants to masturbate that an issue arises.
"Eds?"
"Hm?"
"Uh...I kinda...I wanna masturbate. But I can't do it with you in the room."
"Like...in the bedroom?"
Steve nods. "Y-yeah. I mean, I'll just go to the bathroom. 'Cause I have a way to do things in the shower? But...I just...wanted to let you know that it's not, like, something to do with you. I just feel gross with other people in the room."
"Okay. Yeah, that's fine. I don't care, you gotta do what you gotta do."
"Okay. Cool. Yeah, cool." Steve turns to Eddie in their bed, lays a hand on Eddie's arm. They look at each other. "I don't mind if you wanna listen, though. If you...y'know...wanna masturbate, too."
"N-no, it's fine. I don't wanna put you"—
"I want you to listen to me. Just don't come in and interrupt. Also...I overheard you the last time you masturbated and"—a shy shrug—"maybe I wanna hear you, too."
"...Really?"
"Yeah, really. Something about the way you breathe when you're doing it kinda turns me on. I mean, like, this isn't me being like, let's have sex!, because—no offense—the thought of penetration is uncomfortable and disgusting, but...yeah, you sound...hot when you're at it."
Eddie shifts in their bed, blush high on his cheeks. "Yeah, okay, let's do it. I'm down if you're into it, too."
"Awesome. Hand me the lube? I think you used it last..."
———
This isn't really a full fic, I guess, but the thought was eating at me. Asexual Steve who does in fact get horny, but can only be intimate with himself <3 (also maybe based on some personal stuff so...be nice)
pharmacy tech Steve who gets to watch his favorite patient/customer/client trans Eddie become more happy and comfortable with himself over the years as his testosterone prescription works its magic
until Eddie gets laid off and loses his health insurance, so he no longer has access to his meds. except, Steve is still an athlete, and he knows more than a few gymbros who know how to get their hands on testosterone Without a prescription
thus, in a hilarious turn of events, Steve ends up becoming Eddie's illicit-drug-dealing boyfriend
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