feel free to call me juliette! welcome to this small masterlist. in addition to keeping my (few) works in one place, i will also share small updates below:
now that the semester is over, i feel burnt out. i am still writing reprieve but at a slower pace. thank you for your patience :)
. ° ˚｡ — neteyam
reprieve
after jake suggests that neteyam should start to court a mate, he only has one person on his mind. and yet, all you can think of is how this marks the end of your friendship with him.
chapters: one 𓇼 two 𓇼 three (18+ mdni)
hello juliette, how college is treating you ? Not kicking your ass too much I hope ! 🥺 if it’s not a bother, is it okay to ask you if you’re planning to post part 3 of reprieve ? don’t stress yourself too much with this ask tbh, we support you and hope you’re doing well !
hi! i saw in the second ask that you found the masterlist, but i figured i would reply anyway :) if you took the time to write a message, you deserve one back!
unfortunately college did kick my ass towards the second half of the semester. i didn’t expect the workload to pick up as much as it did which is why i had to put off writing reprieve for bit. it was essay after essay with the occasional presentation thrown in for fun (marketing major, com studies minor). all of this to say, i felt so burnt out and ready to do nothing when the semester ended.
in all honesty, i haven’t written much for reprieve since early april but i certainly haven’t forgotten about it. in fact, i am very excited to start writing it again but i am just giving myself some time to do so.
anyway, thank you for your ask! i appreciate your kindness and your support, it truly means a lot :)
I am SO sick of people using ai for fics. Especially because they claim they wrote it themselves. Everything good that I have read I have either found to be ai or ai-assisted. I am especially upset because the majority of the fics that I read are in the avatar franchise, of which literally discourages ai greatly. You using ai for recreational activities like creative and FICTIONAL writing says so much about your character. It literally takes three clicks and a Google search to find you out. I don't know how many more times I have to say this, FUCK AI AND FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO STAND UP AND USE IT. ESPECIALLY FUCK THOSE WHO USE IT FOR ENTERTAINMENT. YOU'RE GROWN. put your damn fingers on the keyboard and start typing. I promise you that even if you think you suck, your human skill will be so appreciated. stop poisoning our online spaces with computer slop. start contributing. Hop off corporate dick and make something yourself. You are using fresh water to generate something you could make yourself. I crave human creativity, not the cold soulless slop provided by an algorithm.
smut = ❤️🔥 (please note I may forget to add the heart, so read the tags yourself)
This masterlist is mostly for my own use, but also serves as a recommendation to anyone who stumbles upon this blog, and an archive in case any fics are deleted or blogs go inactive. If you would like your fic removed please message me.
Jake Sully
tag: #jakesully
Desecration - @junebugonjupiter
Lo'ak
tag: #lo'ak
Scent - @fluffylino
But We're Different - @nyctophicbtch
Not So Little Crush - @nyctophicbtch
You Jump, I Follow - @lorre-verie
Pretty Boy - @ruya4four
Smile for the Camera - @ruya4four
Neteyam
tag: #neteyam
Should've Been There - @logysworld
Deep Water, Darker Thoughts - @koiibiito
An Accident, I Swear - @logysworld
You Don't Know I'm Courting You? - @lilacnavi
Like Real People Do - @dasvidny4
We Should Just Kiss - @dasvidny4
Dangerous Envy - @nyctophicbtch
"Teaching English" - @dasvidny4
Heartstopper - @moonlitmeadow06
Practice Makes Perfect - @dasvidny4
Reprieve - @thesilverset
Tonowari
tag: #tonowari
The Shape of Quiet Love - @moonchildxoxx
human!jake sully x f!human!reader.
tw: angst, mention of depression
a/n: my first angsty story, tried my best pls bear w me :]
divider by: @cursed-carmine n pics from pinterest
beep!
red light shone out of the camera recorder, notifying jake that the tape is rolling. he began the tape by calling your name just above a whisper. he cleared his throat and tried it again, repeating it until three times just to feel your name rolled out of his tongue like a sacred prayer.
"i haven't been able to properly relax here, y'know. body's here, but my mind's elsewhere. it can't seem to find its place here," he sighed. "i'm trying my best to finish this job, baby. doing everything i can to make this finish quicker so i can go back to you," he said as he stared at the screen, wishing it was you instead of his face looking right back at him.
"but i miss you too much, baby. i miss you too much that i'm starting to forget," he confessed as he rubbed his eyes harshly. "i'm starting to forget how your hands feel against my chest, how your hair used to tickle my neck every time i sleep beside you," he half-laughed.
"grace said that this," he paused, hands moving around his head as he tried to find the correct words to convey his feelings, "is a reaction of the link."
he peeped behind him and saw grace heating up her dinner in the microwave, far enough out of the frame yet close enough within earshot. he nodded his head towards grace, "said i'm spending way too much time in my avatar. well, what else can i do to make progress? they-" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "they want me to make me a part of the clan, one of the people. after achieving that title, the rda will raid the forest and sanitize it for human occupancy."
"but i assure you i'll be back before you know it," he smiled faintly. in reality, with the complication between the scientists and the rda, he was unsure if he could go back to earth. he was called to fight for the people and he can't abandon them just like that.
"y'know, i have your picture up beside my bed. that shot i took on my birthday with the camera that you gave me, you remember that?" he asked as he lightly shook his head. the faint bittersweet memory flooded his head. how is it that he's only been in pandora for three months yet it felt like years already? "i brought that camera with me here, too. hope i could share my memories here with you soon."
he heard grace awkwardly cough, secretly signaling him that his time is up. he has a schedule and a routine to follow and now, it's time for bed. "i love you, baby. and i miss you," he dearly stated, "i promise i'll come back to you. keep that rock on your left ring finger and when i come back, i'll slide it into your right one."
"i gotta go now. i love you, angel. i'll see you soon," he waved to the camera before he pressed the off button and the screen went dark.
tears were silently flooding your cheeks as your breath hitched in your throat throughout the video. you could only see him behind the screen. it felt like you were so close yet actually distanced by the galaxy far far away. it was 2154 when you received the tape, just a couple of months after he embarked on the mission.
but it's been ten years now. ten years of you waiting for him to come home. ten years of you pleading and praying to hear him knocking at your door again. ten years of wearing the engagement ring on your finger and never once taking it off. ten years of you battling with this profound darkness that came after his departure.
you had no idea where he is right now. no reassurance of him coming back to you, no trace of his existence in your life other than that videotape, the small knick-knacks that he left in your place, and the weight of the diamond on your finger.
Why are you not re-blogging? You think the fandom is dead, that no one’s interacting anymore, no one’s doing anything, no one’s writing, no one’s posting. ‘Everyone was so hyperfixed on that character, Where is the writing?’
People are writing. People aren’t reblogging. People aren’t giving some good feedback to motivate the writers that are putting their hard work, time, effort into making this piece that you were reading.
‘oh, it’s just too much work. You don’t wanna click that button and then click a few tags.’ Then you’re gonna have to suffer and not see a lot of writing from a lot of people because the only way this fucking app works is if you reblog.
I see so many pieces of work with 59 likes and 1 blog, I just saw one that had 690 likes and it had 9 reblogs. Even 1,000 likes and only 59 reblogs too. It’s devastating to see for the community of Tumblr. And I’ve been here for like five years, the way this app works is if you re-blog.
There’s so many people that are writing. There’s so many amazing things that I see and I try my best to reblog every single one that I read. That’s what I love doing because sharing someone’s piece of work is just beautiful because it allows me to show it to more people.
I reblog. And the beauty of it is;
I get notifications that this person liked it and this person liked it, and then that post continues to get more views, more likes and reblogs. All just because one person, reblogged it.
so please, if you are a part of Tumblr and you love reading your favorite writers fics, or love reading about your favorite character, please do your job and reblog it.
And if you don’t like re-blogging because you don’t want to do that on your account, then you can make another account and put all of the things that you read on that account. You can do separate things, like fic recs.
You can figure it the fuck out if you want people to actually be writing for a character you love. The writers are writing, you ain’t helping them share their work.
angst but it’s an avatar driver reader loosing the avatar body and stuck in the human one forverrr
bc there is literally no chance of getting another. you know this. you understand it. but you can not accept it
it happens all too fast, you survived the damn war, you fought with the people, became one of them. and it’s the aftermath that kills you
it’s some kind of poising, from a bullet that grazed your side. the wound itself healed. you forgot about it, the scar fading till it disappeared. years go by in the blink of an eye
you continue your work in the lab with norm, attending the nightly festivities with the people. you laugh, you live, you love
tsu’tey is warm like the sun. and he finds a new place in the clan. he is the teacher, he guides them into adulthood
you fall for him the same way someone falls off their ikran, hard, fast, and painful
he finds you endearing in the same way a newly foaled deer is, still wobbling around the forest. you don’t know why he chooses you, but you choose him back non the less. it’s a love that grows quietly in the shares nights together wrapped in his arms, snoring in his hammock
he takes pride in teaching you, still calling you a demon, but with much more warmth in his tone. you split your time between the two bodies, and he only asks if you will consider making the move. you do, honestly. you don’t like being away from him and you mourn the loss of his lips on yours when you’re in your human body, face behind your exoapack
and then comes the sickness
while your avatar sleeps soundly curled next to him, it begins to convulse. and then norm tell you it’s in a comma. how can it be in a comma if you are its consciousness??
it makes no sense but neuroscience was never your strong suit. you watch as it gets weaker, loosing weight so fast the ivs have a hard time keeping up
mo’at comes to look. and her face as pained. “it is dying. this can not be undone.”
“mo’at please.” you cry, trying, begging pleading for anything.
she waves a hand. “i am sorry my child. this poison, it can not be cured.”
tsu’tey stands at the end of the room, where your body lies in the medical wing. his face is stern, unyielding. but you notice the flick of his tail.
he comes to you as you sit outside, cross legged in the moss. lost in thought and watching as leaves dance in the wind
you don’t notice him till he places a hand on your shoulder, nearly giving you a heart attack.
“be still, palulukan” he sits next to you, tail curling around you.
“i’m restless. she’s dying.” tears well in your eyes. and he brings a gentle hand to wipe them away.
“it is okay to mourn. do not let it cloud your vision.”
this only makes you cry harder, melting into his touch. “will you still love me like this?” you choke out between sobs.
his smile is warm enough to melt the sun. eyes wide and he searches inside yours so eagerly. “i have loved both of you. i see both of you. “
you sniffle, sighing softly as you press your head into his chest. you always forget just how much bigger he is like this. “it will be hard getting used to it. “
“no task is too great.” he says it so easily, so simply. nothing is too great for you
the day comes when you have to watch her die, to burry her in the ground. if you knew that day was your last you would have climb mountains, swam every river, kissed him again
she is set in the ground, flowers around her, and it is done. a piece of you dies, a freedom you can not rebuild. and you fear tsu’tey will come to realize how useless you are like this. no hunting, no patrols, needing oxygen. will he truly love you?
the friendship you shared with neteyam was real... real enough to hurt when it's gone. how do you even move on from that when you still refuse to acknowledge that it was more than just a friendship.
content + warnings: [wc: 7.8k] friends to lovers, friendship breakup, five stages of grief (in a way), mentions of previous injuries, angst, arguments, jealousy, hurt no comfort, everyone is of age, eventual smut (but not in this chapter), slow burn (considering the word count), lowercase intentional, overuse of italics.
chapters: one 𓇼 two 𓇼 three
Translations:
tawtute: human
marui: pods (homes)
kalin'eve: sweet girl
tswin: braid
kuru: neural queue
wutso: dinner
atokirina: woodsprites, seeds from tree of souls
uturu: sanctuary
txeylan: best friend
fnu: be quiet
tewng: loincloth
ionar: visor
yawne: beloved
(ay)ikut: grinding tool
tanhi: bioluminescent freckles
five days into your self-imposed isolation and there was nothing to do but think.
your memories were fragments defined by emotion; the ones from your childhood were all about the reef.
you and aonung learning to mount ilus and falling into waters that were so shallow, you could stand in them.
playing in the sand with aonung and tsireya tagging along because she wanted to collect every shell that could fit in her tiny hands.
watching rotxo give tsireya a conch larger than her head and aonung declaring his sister off limits.
the four of you exploring every corner of the reef you were allowed to see; memorizing every rock, every palm, every beach.
then, eventually passing the boundary and exploring the depths of the ocean and the neighboring islands together…
their arrival.
tsireya befriending a son. you befriending the other.
the battles, the losses, the gunshots.
your scream, your hand pulling his wrist, your bodies hitting the water, your desperate swimming to shore.
his groans, his mother's cries, his father's voice.
the silence. the fear. the relief.
it could've been worse. the tawtute healer that his father had brought in assured everyone of that. but the bullet was still kinder than you had been.
on the first day of your self-imposed isolation, that guilt had been the only thing you could think about.
after the beach, you had hidden yourself away in your marui and by the time tsireya had found you, she was with tuk and it was almost eclipse.
"oh, kalin'eve," her voice was gentle in the same way her hands were as they reached for yours, "what happened?"
you hadn't made it to your hammock. you had curled up on the rug, surrounded by scraps of a basket that you had smashed at some point. the braids that had remained in your hair from the previous night were long gone, leaving a tangled mess of curls that clung to your sticky face.
what remained was a fog in your mind.
it rippled when tuk said, "neteyam?"
you could only give a stiff nod in response.
then, tuk was pulling your head onto her lap and tsireya, in hushed whispers, was asking, "what about neteyam?"
tuk had the same quiet tone as she explained to her, "last night i overheard dad talking with the others," her fingers removed the stuck hair off your cheeks, "he told neteyam how happy he was that he found someone like he found mom. then there was this big speech about responsibility and doing what was right by her — courting her properly."
the words floated around, fuzzy and distant, until your head cleared enough to process them...
"he said 'her'?" you rasped.
"he said you, by name."
tsireya's hands squeezed yours, "you told him no?"
she wasn't looking for an answer.
they'd held you until you had insisted you were fine.
on the second day, tsireya had come by early in the morning, right as your parents had left.
balanced on her hip was a basket of hair adornments — one that you've seen so much of over the years. for an hour, she had sat behind you and tamed your hair. she combed through every curl, braided some pieces, and decorated others. she had even stuck small flowers in the tswin protecting your kuru, a gesture you've only ever trusted her with.
despite the tender way her fingers moved through your hair, a certain guilt squeezed your ribs.
she offered sympathy that you did not deserve.
but you didn't want to question her kindness so you just let yourself be soothed by it. and if it felt fragile, it's because it was.
when her tail became restless, that was you. the most grounded person you knew was on edge and you were the reason.
it kept thudding against the rug until she told you, "my mother says that she has heard whispers," her tone was tentative, "neytiri has told some of the other mothers that 'her eldest is courting and will be mated soon'."
the words smacked into your chest so hard, you made a noise. something between a half spoken, 'oh', and a hum.
is courting and will be mated soon.
is it still courting if you had already said no?
did neytiri know that you had rejected her son?
as tsireya placed a final flower, you croaked, "does anyone know that i…"
"no, your name was not mentioned. that was all neytiri said."
is courting and will be mated soon.
it would've been true if you hadn't left her son on his knees in the sand.
selfish.
for months — for years — you had treated him as if he was something forbidden. you had built a line that you swore not to cross and then repeatedly crossed it. for the sake of what?
friendship? you didn't choose him anyway.
tsireya sat with you for a brief moment, unmoving and quiet. the feeble breeze that swept into the marui was irritating. the hanging chime clanging against itself was as incessant as the sound of your own breaths.
she let the silence stretch. the longer it became, the more your muscles tensed as you waited for her inevitable embrace. it always came.
and when it finally did, it was crushing.
"there is no need for that," you muttered.
her arms only squeezed tighter as she buried her face in your hair.
"i know, it's just…" you felt her heavy sigh against your neck, "avoid the pools, alright?"
you had every intention to do exactly that.
especially when you realized that those pools were filled with potential.
they were as beautiful as the girls that spent their mornings in them.
it caused something bitter to settle in your stomach. you were sure it reflected on your face.
is courting and will be mated soon.
he would find a mate.
his father had a vision for his future. when did you start to delude yourself into thinking you were a necessary part of that? you could not have it both ways. you were either his friend or his mate and you had been clear that day. if his father mentioned you, it was only because you were merely a safe person to settle with. you were friends.
were. were.
you were friends.
outside, the sky had turned into a manifestation of the very sight that tormented your mind.
orange like fire. orange like amber.
everything around you lit up with the color and it was penetrating your mind, searing it.
it only took a second to dive from the water-side access of your marui. it took another few to scream beneath the surface until your lungs burned.
bubbles rolled out of your mouth from one continual breath that was meant to relieve something. to expel some part of you that could be blamed for ruining everything so impressively.
but it had hidden itself away. the only part brave enough to remain was something neglected.
it was that part of you that was fragile — vulnerable. the same part that had leaned into his body when he'd held you. the part that twinkled when he glanced over. the part that missed talking to him, missed the privilege of his friendship.
that delicate part of you was ever present and consuming.
and, it was vital and innocent.
it was the part of you that was screaming underwater.
when you resurfaced, the sky had gone dark, your head felt light, and your stomach had begun to ache.
you were deep into marveling at how tangible your guilt felt when tuk showed up singing, "wutso!"
in her hands were two bowls overfilled with that evening's feast. she sat with you, eating, while she chatted away.
"rotxo's gifts keep getting bigger and dad just grunts like he's not impressed. they're both making kiri nervous," she leaned in, "lo'ak and i think they're turning into offerings for dad now."
the faintest laugh had fallen from your breath.
on the third day, you had to convince your mother that you'd been fine and did not need the tsahik to issue a remedy for your sudden gloom.
you had proven it when you'd finally ventured outside of your confinement. you had done it with a pounding heart and tense ears that swiveled each time someone passed.
but you still did it and that was enough. there was no need to fall back into routines. not yet.
instead, you had taken to spending the morning with your mother. you trailed behind her while she gathered fruit for the evening feast and sat beside her while she sorted it.
it had been a nice distraction to be around her like when you were a child. you missed the way she hummed when it was too quiet and how her eyes creased when she smiled at you. you missed how she insisted you take the fruit she offered, even when you protested that you weren't hungry. you even missed the gentle chiding she gave you when you slurped the juice.
it had felt so simple until neteyam found you.
"i see you, tahira, may i speak with your daughter?" he asked.
it almost upset you that he had skipped asking your permission and asked for your mother's instead.
almost.
that part of you that was ever present and consuming was exactly that, and it ached to recover what it had lost.
he brought you to his family's marui — private and empty, unlike the rest of the village at that hour.
you had been there before, a few times, but never with him alone. it was larger than others to accommodate his larger family and yet, despite its size, you felt suffocated. it might've been because he had lowered the flap covering the entrance for privacy. or because you were enclosed in there and surrounded by his scent — stronger and somehow, sweeter. there was also the way he watched as you tried to relax your posture.
either way, it was so distracting that you almost missed when he stepped forward.
"i wanted to see you," he began quietly, "but my siblings would not let me."
you tried to smile, but it was with shaky effort, "i did not expect you to," you couldn't even maintain his gaze, "i should have been the one to seek you out and apologize. i should not have left you there—"
"no," he stressed, "i should have waited to ask something like that of you," his ears lowered and so did his eyes, "that is on me."
one of you had moved closer, but you didn't know who.
during the first couple days of your self-imposed isolation, you had thought a lot. but, you hadn't thought about what you would say when you saw him again. rather, you had thought more about how he wouldn't want to.
still, you had quietly hoped.
"no, it was better this way," that hope steered your words, "we can forget about it now."
it was a wisp that floated in your mind, like the atokirina that he had once described from the forest — too fragile to hold on to. you could see it in the peripheral of your thoughts but you never focused on it.
another thing you had proven that day: acknowledging something made it real. that included its consequences.
that wisp had thrived when you ignored its existence. it had maintained a steady glow for days.
it had persisted until you let it sway your thoughts; until he dipped his head and with a resigned sigh said, "you still misunderstand, don't you?"
all at once, it vanished.
your mouth stumbled over 'no's and 'what's, unable to actually push the sound out.
"i still want you as my mate," he continued, "that has not changed."
you found yourself backing away, looking for air to breathe that was not laced with his.
"i do not want to repeat this conversation, neteyam," it was like all your energy had been used on those words.
"do you think i want to?" he was hastily pulling you closer by the wrist.
you chose to ignore the way your skin warmed as he held you there, "then why ask again?"
"i am not asking, i am trying to tell you that i will wait," he said it with intent, but his voice was thick enough to mistake it for desperation.
the fingers around your wrist slid down until they threaded through your own.
he had given you an opportunity, but with your eyes unable to meet his, you never saw it.
"my answer would still not change," your voice was taut, much like your tail.
that opportunity was gone and so was his hand.
you were barely breathing while you watched him turn away. the patterns on his back stretched as he brought his palms up to rub at his face.
he stayed that way when he nodded, "i think you should leave."
you were plummeting.
"no."
you were plummeting and you couldn't even reach for that wisp.
his tail lashed a few times and when he turned around, his amber had dulled and narrowed.
"what do you want?" he asked, his voice strained, "you have made it clear that it's not me, so what is it?"
"it is not that simple," you insisted.
he gave an exasperated exhale that you almost mistook for a laugh. not a moment later, he was stepping forward and his hands were on your shoulders.
"no, you are not making it simple," he bent to meet your eye, "why do you hold back?"
if your mind hadn't been so clouded, you might've offered an explanation.
instead, you cried out, "i don't want anything to change!"
"it does not have to!" his tone edged louder.
"it will!" you matched him.
"how?"
"you will become unhappy with me!"
"that is impossible," his eyes were squinted, searching or confused, your own had become too blurry to tell.
"no it's not!"
"i am telling you that it is!" it might've been the truth, but the volume muffled it.
"you don't get it!" your hands itched to grab his face.
instead, his slid to your neck, cradling it. "make me get it!"
you wanted to, but your heart was pounding in your throat and the right words were getting stuck in it.
"you will be unhappy!"
your ears rang.
"i already said—"
"—and you will want to change me!"
it might have been the shouting or the adrenaline.
everything felt too loud.
"no, i would—"
"—i will lose my freedom—"
"—why would you lose—"
"—and i would resent you for it!"
silence.
silence.
silence so palpable it shook your body. you became painfully aware of the way your chest heaved and you could barely feel the tips of your fingers.
the mounting blurriness of your eyes had finally peaked and tears freely tumbled.
the clarity was jarring.
neteyam stood still, stuck in another moment that you could not take back. hands were limp at his sides and… at what point had he removed them?
his own chest heaved, too.
when you braved a glance at his face, he was only observing you. a strange look in the way his eyes flickered across your features. they lingered on your watery frown which only deepened the one he wore.
but now, you were stuck, too. even as he brought a hand up and swept his thumb across your cheek.
it traced the path of a tear down to where it had disappeared at your mouth.
a shuddering breath fell onto the pad of his thumb.
"i want you in my life," his voice was barely more than a whisper, "but i can accept that i shouldn't force you to be."
"i only meant—"
"i get it, you told me your intentions and so did i."
"neteyam—"
"i can not be your friend," his sight never left your mouth, "not like this."
his thumb smoothed the edge of your frown, as if trying to erase it.
it lingered for a moment before he stepped back.
defeat shrouded over your heads. you felt it. but in him… you saw it in the way his shoulders slouched and his ears hung.
ringing had subsided to a dull buzz.
gentle waters swayed below. ilus chirruped as they swam by. somewhere beyond the marui was laughter and chatter.
but there was still the silence.
it felt like the same silence that dwelled in the edges of your memories. one that shook you awake on some nights. one that bid its time and hid, only coming out when you thought you'd forgotten it.
it was the same silence from seven years ago, the aftermath of a battle. silence so oppressive that no one could bring themselves to say anything.
it had been there when you thought you had lost him. and it was there when you actually did.
"you should go back to your mother, before she starts to think i am courting you."
his last words to you.
that night had blurred into the morning of the fourth day.
all you had done was weep.
tsireya had come by and stayed with you until your shoulders stopped trembling.
then, she stayed with you through the exhaustion that came after.
your eyes had been fixated on the ruined basket that peeked out from under a thick shawl.
a gift from lenetu. 'to store your paints', he had said.
you didn't paint.
before lenetu, there had been aonung.
he had gifted you a saddle for an ilu.
it was still your favorite.
it would've been so easy if you had just appeased both of your parents and mated with him. but he deserved better than an arranged courtship with someone he saw as a sister. you had told him so when you broke it off.
that had been your gift to him.
childhood had been so simple. duty hung over him now.
you suppose it had then too, but when had it become so occupying?
tsireya redid your hair.
five days into your self-imposed isolation and there was nothing to do but think.
something obsessive existed in the idea of living in possibilities.
like one where his father never mentioned your name. or one where they never chose awa'atlu for uturu. or one where his family never had need for it to begin with.
it did not matter. you would still find another reason to be miserable.
had it even been worth it? you had destroyed your friendship in the name of independence — 'freedom', you had said — and what had you done with it?
you'd barely stepped out in five days. you missed se'lei. you missed the ocean. you missed him.
tuk's arrival with that evening's food had been later than usual. not that you noticed with how distracted you felt.
"i think neteyam figured out that i've been feeding you."
you hummed in a conscious effort to appear casual, but there was nothing to do about the way your ears flicked up.
"did he?"
"don't worry," she eyed you, amused, "i handled it."
her words didn't settle you at all. especially with the way she was biting her cheek to hide a smile.
"how?"
"i told dad he was bothering me. i left while he was scolding him."
"tuk," you sighed, "you could have just told him the truth."
"there's no fun in that," she looked positively smug, "opportunities like these don't come often. i take advantage of every chance to get neteyam in trouble."
with a weary voice, you asked, "why?"
that seemed to set her alight.
her bowl of food was nearly knocked over as she moved to sit on her haunches.
"because!" she nearly screeched, "lo'ak is the only one who covers for me when i sneak out! i ask neteyam one time — one time — and suddenly mom and dad were dragging me back home in minutes!"
you swallowed your laugh enough to say, "i like your commitment, tuk."
but then, one look at the sight of her leaning forward with wild eyes made the laughter that bubbled in your chest start to tickle.
and then you couldn't stop.
her affronted pout started cracking and then, she couldn't stop either.
the bowls of food had sat there, forgotten.
. ｡˚ ° . 𓇼 . ° ˚｡ .
it was hard to keep up with tuk and tsireya's energy.
one was bouncing on the woven walkways and the other was dragging you along with eager tugs to your hand.
"they just got here!" you complained, "there is no reason to run!"
"everyone else is!" tuk said, "we'll be the last ones!"
"she's right, hurry!"
tuk was a force, pushing past people and hopping around others. nothing slowed her stride until she finally reached the large gathering pavilion. it had been completely cleared out to make room for the myriad of baskets and carriers that were being unloaded.
she had been right. the bulk of the village was already bustling around the make-shift market.
in the haze of the past couple weeks, you had become so caught up in your neglected duties that you hadn't found the time to procure anything for the wind traders.
you had tried a few times, but something important always pulled your attention. like the small hole in your fishing net that needed mending. or the slightly uneven ends of your hair that needed trimming. not to mention, finding that chime that had mysteriously disappeared a few weeks ago.
unfortunately, you hadn't considered how helpful your friends would be.
finding something to trade should have been easy. but, when tuk and tsireya had rummaged through your possessions, as it turned out, everything had suddenly become too sentimental to part with.
it hadn't stopped tuk from finding one of your small bags, stuffing one of your father's knives in there, and thrusting it at you ("he won't miss it, now let's go!").
admittedly, their reluctance to let your reluctance take over had been admirable. any weak excuse to get away had been dismissed — and there had been many excuses.
the three of you knew why, but no one said it aloud.
actually, no one said anything about it at all.
though you never told them the full extent of what happened, your friends figured out enough on their own.
it wasn't terribly difficult. you weren't very subtle and you knew that he wasn't either.
but they were worse.
lo'ak groaned about his moodier-than-usual 'friend'. meanwhile, tuk went on about the 'annoying shadow' that has become far too interested in her hobbies. even aonung had tiredly muttered something about pointless conversations in the middle of the night.
between your moping and his… clinginess, your friends were fed up.
it had been spider who audibly wondered 'how the hell' you ever put up with it.
"look at these!" tsireya called out to you. she held a cluster of orange tinted scales. "that top you have been weaving," she placed them in your hands, "please, you must add these to it!"
she beamed expectantly and it was hard not to beam back.
you held the scales up to the light and they too beamed. as you tilted them, their coloring shifted between a warm orange to a golden yellow.
she had good judgment and you trusted her. they would look perfect on that top. and only for that reason — and no other reason at all — you said, "fine."
they were traded for your father's knife.
"the color suits you, txeylan," tsireya gushed, "what do you think, tuk?"
"yeah…" she said absently, "so pretty."
you both turned to her but she wasn't paying attention. her eyes were glancing over your shoulder, her tail high in the air.
"tuk…" you trailed off, already shifting to look—
"KIRI! LOOK, IT'S KIRI!"
right into your ear. at least it felt like it.
there was hardly time to reorient yourself because she was already pulling you and tsireya in the opposite direction.
sure enough, there was kiri and she looked the way you felt — startled.
as soon as she was within arm's length, she was tugging all of you down to crouch behind one of the large support posts of the pavilion.
"fnu, tuk!" kiri hissed, "why must you be so loud?"
tuk only gave a sheepish grin, "sorry?"
kiri didn't answer. she was too busy scanning the groups of people that walked by.
"why are we hiding?" tsireya asked as she tried to follow her eye-line, "rotxo?"
"do not say his name!" she said in a hushed shriek, "you will summon him!"
you asked, "is he still trying to impress you?"
"yes and i keep insisting that he already did, but i think dad is getting to him."
"why?"
"yesterday, he wove a new hammock for kiri — and it was very pretty, flowers and all — but dad… gave him a hard time about it."
"what did he—"
"he asked if he wove it for himself," kiri huffed, closing her eyes as she gritted the words out, "if he made it to move in with us."
the three of you burst into giggles.
"it is not funny!" she wailed, "it was such a sweet gift and i fear that he thinks dad's stupid comments are swaying me."
"i thought you were going to speak with dad!"
"i couldn't — he was gone all morning!"
tsireya smiled sympathetically, "talk to rotxo."
"i could go find him right now!" you immediately offered.
tuk snorted, "she's just trying to leave."
mouth gaping, you scoffed as your tail smacked into her side, briefly knocking her off balance. she stuck her tongue out at you.
"no, it's okay," kiri sighed, "i will talk to him — later. right now i need to go. if he sees me, he will try to gift me half of the stuff here."
"only half?" tuk deadpanned with a lazy tilt of her head, "what a terrible mate he would be."
the three of you aimed some disgruntled mutterings at tuk who just rolled her eyes.
"you joke now, but guess who would help carry everything home, little sister?" kiri's smile was deceivingly innocent. "come, you will tell me if you see him."
tuk's groan was loud as kiri pulled her up and placed her in front of her body, like a shield.
as they scurried away, tsireya gave you a look before a wide grin split her face and then the both of you melted into chuckles.
"i think kiri has earned herself a spot on tuk's list," tsireya helped you up.
you linked your arm through hers, "i hope i never find myself on it."
so began a nice browsing through the market.
there were textiles that were woven with unique weaves and patterns. feathers and leaves of different textures. an assortment of fruits and dried meats with smells that invited you. balms and poultices for various ailments. colorful hides from animals that were foreign to you.
with every display you stopped at, new discoveries were made. a new region was explored. pieces of cultures that were unknown to you became known. everything had a story.
awa'atlu was beautiful and you were proud of it. there was so much to offer and it should not have been represented by a simple knife. you owned many finer items that boasted the materials of the reef; tewngs with special patterns, hair pieces adorned by colorful shells, bathing scrubs made from native corals. everything had a story.
traditions and recipes taught to sons and daughters. and you had completely overlooked it.
yet another consequence of your selfishness.
from beside you, tsireya picked up a brown and green ionar and examined it, "do you think lo'ak will like this?"
"i think he will love it," another voice answered from behind her and suddenly she was being hugged tightly as she squeaked, surprised. he spun her around to catch her face in his hands and kissed her.
they were always so expressive with their affection.
you should have left with tuk and kiri.
"it was meant to be a gift!" her hand cradled the one cupping her cheek.
he looked at her with an open adoration.
"in that case," he reached into a pouch that hung from his waist and pulled out an armband, "now we're even."
tsireya was a vision of pure joy as she held it out for you both to see. it was made from a lighter wood and had polished white pebbles that lined the edges.
"it is lovely, yawne," her fingers ran over the weave, memorizing the pattern.
"you have a good eye, lo'ak," you smiled.
his eyes had been transfixed on her face until your voice seemingly broke his fixation.
"oh, right!" he turned to you as he rummaged through his pouch, "… have something for you, too," he pulled out a necklace, "from tuk."
"for me?"
it was an intricate braid made from different shades of woods, some lighter than others. from it, other thinner braids were draped in a way that looked like the arches at the cove of the ancestors. but what truly made it stunning were the crystals that embellished each draped braid. they were glass-like circular stones that reflected the color behind them.
as you held it in your hand, they looked like beads of water.
"i love her," you gasped.
tsireya glanced around the crowds of people, "she's already back?"
"i guess so, yeah," he wrapped his arm around tsireya's shoulders, "she said you two were together and to just bring it with me."
you couldn't stop admiring it.
when she was younger, she had naturally trailed behind her older siblings wherever they went. but as she grew older, she'd trail along less for them and more for you and tsireya. although she had found a set of friends her own age, the bond the three of you had was different.
"where did you see her?" you asked, carefully tucking the necklace into your bag.
his tail curled slowly behind him and he paused, "at the front..."
he stopped you before you could take off, "don't worry about it!" he rushed out, "she was in a hurry — i will thank her for you when i see her."
you looked up in time to catch his eyes dart somewhere over your shoulder. when they landed on your face again, he began to sputter something about showing you… something, but it was too late. you were already turning your head.
people, and displays, and more people, and baskets, and —
neteyam.
he stood tall with an easy confidence that only he knew how to wear. a small smile fanned across his lips. he looked happy.
around his neck was a necklace you didn't recognize, beaded with shades of turquoises and greens — the exact composition of colors found in nu'ven's eyes.
nu'ven, who stood beside him, was gleaming under his gaze. and she was offering him a fruit from the basket beside them.
he accepted it.
the ocean roared in your ears.
no, it was blood rushing.
it was those miserable five days condensed into one breath.
it pummeled through your chest and it was enough of a movable force to tear your sight away.
"i'm sorry," lo'ak said, "he left early this morning so i assumed he had a busy day," the arm that wasn't wrapped around tsireya's shoulders was wrapping around yours, "i already tried getting him to leave," he sighed, "i didn't think he would come or that he would bring her."
her. she existed in his life. she was present in it. enough for her to sound casual in lo'ak's voice. and they knew about it. there was a pitiful sort of humiliation tied to that fact, but you couldn't even focus on it properly.
"we should not have forced you to come," tsireya spoke gently, "i only thought that you would enjoy seeing everything."
you shook your head, "i was — am — enjoying myself," you offered a (forced but friendly) smile, "really!" your tone might've been too bright because tsireya winced. "i am happy for him. a good friend would be, even if we do not call each other that anymore."
"txeylan, you do not have to make that pretense with us," tsireya said, "we know."
right.
after a moment, you sighed, "i think i will just walk around."
"i will come with you, we can leave—"
"no, it's okay," you insisted, "it's fine, i swear it. thank you for bringing me, i needed to see… new things."
assurance did little to alleviate her wide-eyed frown. it did little to alleviate yours as well. she would demand to have a lengthy conversation later, you already felt it coming.
you gave them a (real) smile and hugged them tightly before parting to a different corner of the market.
the next hour was spent in your own company, wandering from row to row and examining every item that piqued your interest. your focus was maintained by your quiet exploration, but you also kept a vague idea of where he was as you moved.
any encounter with him would be absolutely pathetic for you, let alone an encounter while he was with her.
he might smile at you, she might smile too. you would fight tears as she thanks you for helping them find each other. you would wish them well while wishing for nothing more than an akula to swallow you whole.
pathetic.
luckily, there was enough stuff to bury your mind in, if not your body.
there were goods that were unique enough to ask about. and the tlalim were always kind enough to indulge you, even when you admitted to not having something to trade. you still had to resist the urge to find something on your person to barter with.
until a choker caught your attention.
various tones of woods made into a thick braid. a large, clear crystal secured in the middle, like a water droplet on blue skin. exactly like tuk's gift — this was it's sister.
"from a mountain clan that way," a deep voice spoke, "they are surrounded by caves that grow crystals and stones unlike anything i have ever seen."
the tlalim man that had stopped next to you was around your age, and he was looking at the choker in your hands.
"this crystal, do they make anything else with it?"
you were led to a rack with more similar items — headpieces, armbands, anklebands, even tewngs. each similar in style, but bejeweled with an assortment of different colored crystals.
"so beautiful," you muttered to yourself, "do they only use them as decorations?"
the curiosity in your voice was reflected on his face.
"weapons," he pointed somewhere behind you, "their arrowheads are made with a black crystal. it is fragile but sharp."
"why use a fragile material for a weapon? wouldn't that break on impact?"
"that is why! it is sharp enough to penetrate the body but—" he started to demonstrate with his hands, "—when the body begins to move or the muscles contract, the crystal shatters."
"fascinating," you stared in awe. sure, it was brutal, but it would have made an efficient weapon all those years ago. you found yourself leaning closer, "do you know more?"
he laughed, "about their weapons?"
"or their crystals."
a slow grin grew on him as he considered you.
he glanced around the market, as if looking for something, then took a step forward, "how about their stones?" at your enthused nodding, he continued, "their ayikut are made from stones that alter the taste of food."
your smile was almost as wide as your eyes, "in what way?"
behind you, your tail had begun to wave eagerly despite trying to relax it. you'd been afraid it would knock something over until you caught the way his was doing the same.
"the white stone ikut makes the food salty and the red one makes the food sweet."
"do they have one to make food sour?"
his endearing grin morphed into mild horror.
"you like your food sour?"
he still looked endearing.
"you do not?"
he shrugged, "why have sour when you could have sweet?"
"it's for when sweet does not satisfy!" you argued, "there is a sour drink we make from a purple flower that you must try!"
there was a pause as he nodded, another look flashing across his face — something inviting.
"i would love to taste it before we depart," he added, "if you would like to show me, of course."
that endearing smile was back and you decided that it paired well with the swoop that you felt in your stomach.
a flush of warmth spread across your face as you smiled back.
"okay…"
"inoa," he said, "you may call me inoa."
it was only when your hand lifted up to formally greet him that you realized the choker was still in your grasp, dangling in front of your eyes.
"i would love to trade for this," your other hand untied your leather armband and held it out, "what do you think?"
his eyes never left yours, "beautiful, but it belongs on your body as much as that one does."
another surging swoop in your stomach, "then what can i trade for it?"
without hesitation, he said, "how about a story?"
your smile grew impossibly wider.
"a story?"
"yes. tell me a story — about yourself — and it is yours."
there was an easy smile that was just as interested as you were.
"alright…"
you faltered.
for someone that valued a good story, you could think of none.
what kind of story does someone tell when they want to impress another? surely one that does not involve the last person you were trying to impress.
a better question was: why do you want to impress him? a courtship would not follow. a friendship wouldn't either.
aonung had once said, 'a connection does not have to last forever. it can last a singular night, too.' although, he'd been slapped right after by the girl he'd said it to.
admittedly, you had remembered his words during the handful of times you'd found yourself breathless under someone. but, you never used his words to be as misleading as whatever he had been doing. to you, they were a definition — an expectation.
the tlalim were tied to no place and you were tired to no one.
you craved connection so why do you keep holding back?
and with the way this tlalim was looking at you —
shit — the story.
"when i was younger," you began, "i wanted to ride a skimwing before anyone else my age." your eyes wandered down, but you could feel his on you, "my people call them the mount of a warrior and i learned why when i tried to ride it on my own in the middle of the night—"
"she got this scar because a piece of coral stabbed her when she fell off."
you heard his voice at the same time you felt fingers touching the spot above your hip.
that feeling of rigidity was just as cold as you remembered it. skin tingled and everything else had gone numb.
it didn't matter.
all your focus singled on the fingers that were firmly pressed on you.
the touch itself wasn't foreign. he sometimes brushed that scar when he made fun of your stupidity and impatience. what was foreign was the pressure on it.
"you are back?" inoa asked.
he sounded far away.
you were far away.
soft brushes were familiar, but this wasn't that. it was the hand threaded with yours in a marui. it was the tail around your thigh on a beach. it was something that you would not dare name because he had no right to feel it.
and you were reminded of how you had no right to feel it either when inoa regarded him with a knowing look and asked, "did the girl like your gift?"
oh.
something stirred between your heart and your stomach. one tightened while one fell and you couldn't tell which was doing what. a similar thing was happening to your face.
"did she earn her choker?" he ignored the question.
small mercies.
"she did," inoa said, levity in his voice.
he grinned and it was pretty. it was present enough to pull you back. it was kind enough to distract you.
then, he stepped closer. with gentle hands, he pushed the curls off your shoulders and carefully tied the choker around your neck. knuckles brushed against your frigid skin as he adjusted it, warming it.
"you wear it well," he said.
another grin, but this time it was yours.
"thank you."
it came out quieter than you wanted.
"that was a kind gesture, but i need to take her," neteyam's hand was already wrapping around your arm, "she is being looked for."
tracking where he held you, up the curve of his shoulder and the slope of his neck, was that amber.
amber like fire. but it wasn't warm. it was fire so hot it felt cold.
and you couldn't look away.
"i am?" you questioned.
he held himself with practiced composure. nothing but the polite countenance that the eldest son of a revered leader would have. it was always three-fold in him, wearing it on behalf of his siblings who weren't burdened by those pressures.
but you knew him well enough to see through it; the grip around your arm and the look in his eyes gave him away.
"yes. on the beach," the lack of intonation in his voice said more than it was trying to.
you understood it clearly, even if he had said nothing at all.
to deny would make things worse. to accept would too. a cruel illusion of choice.
you sighed defeatedly and turned to inoa, "when do you depart?"
"right before eclipse," he paused, his smile hid the edge of a smirk, "i still want to taste your flower, if you still offer."
"the offer stands."
neteyam's grip squeezed in what might have been an involuntary spasm. at least, that is what you were going to believe it was, despite his tail twitching against the back of your thigh.
not a moment later, he was dragging you through the rows of goods and then through the woven walkways.
his stride was brisk, never slowing down even when you audibly struggled to keep up. his hand remained around your arm, never loosening even when you tried to yank it free. his eyes narrowed on the approaching beach, never glancing back to see how yours narrowed at him. his mouth was drawn into a line, never responding to any of your complaints.
not when you told him to slow down. not when you swore at him. certainly not when you hissed his name.
he kept his attention decidedly not on you until the sands treaded under your feet and you stood under the shade of those wretched palms. it was then that he finally let go.
braids swayed as he tilted his head, considering you for a moment.
"you looked happy," he said with a calm voice that did not match the way he looked.
"you did too," the words struggled to remain steady.
he only nodded, seemingly unaffected by your words if not for the tightening between his brows and in his jaw.
green and turquoise beads taunted you from where they rested, right above his collarbone. it was such a deliberate color for someone who typically wore blues.
you hated that you knew it was a new necklace. you hated that it still suited him. you hated wondering how close nu'ven must've stood to tie it around him. you hated how it stole your attention. oh, you hated it, you hated it, you hated it, you hated—
"why did he say that to you?" he asked, low and drawn out.
a simple question and it had an innocent answer.
but he said it like you'd done something wrong.
he had that same look that he gave to lo'ak when he was dragging him into problems that could've been avoided. you'd seen it enough times but now, it was pointed at you.
"it was not like that."
"you are not stupid — it was and he wanted you."
"does it matter if he did?"
"it does," he said incredulously.
"why?" you had a bitter smile as a finger jabbed at his chest, "you didn't want to be friends so you don't get to be involved in my life."
a harsh nod sent his braids swaying across his shoulders, "i was trying to do a decent thing by making sure that you were okay."
your scoff was disbelieving, "i was clearly fine until—"
"i interrupted your flirting?"
the strap of your small bag almost slid down your shoulder.
"i was not flirting," the heat that rose to your cheeks was the same as earlier… when you had been flirting.
"forgive me for being confused," his eyes descended to your neck, "you ask him the right questions, you flash your pretty eyes, and then you nod along like you care… but it means nothing, right?"
"that is not true," your voice wavered between arguing and pacifying.
"no?" he met your stare again, "it obviously meant nothing when you did it to me."
your mouth had opened for the fragile defense you had started to form, but it quickly collapsed somewhere into your stomach.
"are you just trying to hurt me back?" you asked weakly, "is that why you brought me here?"
he paused. his head fell back, stretching the tanhi that peeked from beneath that detestable necklace.
"shit," he muttered. the sigh that followed was ragged and heavy.
the muscles in his shoulders had been taut, but with that exhale, they seemed to unfurl. the rapid rise and fall of his chest had even begun to settle.
"my dad heard that your father was trying to arrange a courtship for you," his tone had shifted to something more familiar, "i asked for him to help me this morning — to convince him not to," he had his eyes set on your neck again, "i told your father that you should be the one to make that decision. i thought you would want to know."
there wasn't a word to describe the state your mind had entered.
vacant?
there was vacancy in there, yes — in speech, comprehension, mobility, functionality.
but it was not vacant.
there were so many thoughts piled into questions that lacked meaningful answers. vacancy seemed accurate, but your mind was not vacant.
it was overwhelmed? but that was too underwhelming of a word to use.
why wasn't there a better word? why were you so shocked? was shocked the better word? yes, you were shocked. why was he looking at you like that? why wasn't he saying anything? why weren't you?
he walked away somewhere between 'why had you stopped speaking to each other' and 'why had you stopped being friends'.
the rigid blur of blue as he rushed off the beach reminded you of exactly why. even better, it gave you an all-encompassing image of why.
all of a sudden, you were him stranded on that beach.
the future you had spent so many years imagining for yourself burst.
but yours wasn't vacant.
thank you to everyone who read the first part! i was overwhelmed by the support i received so thank you thank you thank you! the next part will likely be the last and although i already started writing it, i can't promise it will come out soon. i am in college and i have to prioritize that first. but it is consistently being written, don't worry :)
let me go back to my roots of angst bc in this house, it rules supreme!!!
hurt no comfort so’lek x reader, unrequited feelings as you watch him fall in love with tamtey realizing you will never be what he wants, needs, cares for.
you are an avatar. flesh born of chemicals and incubated in a false womb that gave you false life. he hates your kind. a hatred that is so deep, it’s what guides his path.
he does not care for you, not in the slightest. if you are here to help the resistance then so be it, pull your weight and stay out of the way. other wise he sees no use for you and will not tolerate anything more.
you came here to find a new purpose. do something meaningful, and you’re starting to realize perhaps it isn’t the place for you. there’s no warmth, not like you felt with the omatikaya. no love.
tamtey is easy to love, you know. and you can’t blame so’lek for the way he is with her. eyes shining and so young, so much of the world blooming at her fingers. not like you, hardened by the years as your avatar body lives beyond what it was made to do. your back is really starting to tense up as of late.
when you were wounded in the battle at the hallelujah mountains, you had no other choice then to say good bye to your human body. the rda shot at the mobile link station and carpet bombed them. there was no other way. but you remain human. that is a fact you will never let anyone forget, your humanity is no curse it is your greatest blessing. so’lek hates this most about you. how dare you find pride humanity.
being human is what makes you, you. it’s feeling the sprinklers under the hot august sun as you play on the blacktop as a child.
it’s the days in the winter bundled up and braving the cold to play with the snow, falling thick as it sticks to your eye lashes. laughing as you chase your friends with snow balls. snow angels lined up neatly side by side as your frozen laugh echoed.
it’s people of every walk of life joining in celebration, in unity. because it is humanity that binds you all together in a connection so ancient and enduring you feel it in every breath you take.
its creation, the never ending search for more. wanting to be better every single day as you race one another to be the best. competition fueling innovation.
all of these are truths that can not be shaken out of you even in this avatar body you have come to call home. not even when your human body was mangled and destroyed in the war that plagues your nightmares.
you fought in the same war that shaped so’lek, and he does not care less.
you’ve tried, really. getting gentle pats on the back from alma as she assures you “he’s like that with everyone. “
everyone but tamtey.
you’ve tried being nice, helping him organize his things and he only hisses. when you bring him fresh meat and he sets it aside, only to find it in the same spot the next day. offering to patrol with him in the dead of night when you know damn well no one else will, and he still declines.
“she smells wretched.” you over hear him say one night. back from your own solo patrol that stretched far too late into the night. you pause before the corner, hunching yourself over to listen better.
you hear snickers, it’s nor, teylan, tamtey.
“i do not think she is bad.” teylan tries.
“they are all bad.” nor scoffs.
you hear so’lek hum. “the stench of their false kind is enough for me. but she holds pride for the sky people.”
“she is one of them.” tamtey pipes in. “she can not change this. “
“there is no need to constantly remind us. we know“ nor agrees.
“if i were a dream walker i would forget my life before“ tamtey chirps. as if forgetting is easy as breathing.
could tamtey be able to forget watching your mother say goodbye as you set course to pandora? of the last transmissions you sent and received from your family? knowing you would never hear from them again?
oh yes, she would so forget the whole entire life you lived on a whole other planet before this mess. what the fuck are you even doing with your life.
yes tamtey has lost her people, a history stolen and burnt. kept from its rightful inheritors. this does not give her to right to dictate how you grieve your self.
the conversations shifts to other topics. the rain, the forest etc etc. you’ve heard enough, for this night and any other to come. heading on your heel to your room to collect your things and get the hell out.
you pack up and leave the same night, before anyone can catch you take off into the night. back to the omatikaya you go. you can not stay a second longer in the frontiers.
jake has trained you to be his perfect little soldier. a bit of a gun slinging fanatic one, but god does he love you. his time away with the metkayina has only made him miss you more, and when he comes back he makes sure to show just how much he's been thinking of you. ignoring the wife and family that waits for him
this was supposed to be a little blurb but i went crazy and made it a whole thing oops sorreh. this is my first time writing actual smut so please bear with me
word count - 3k+
watch it - cheating jake, age gap, smut, breeding kink, actual breeding, penetration, daddy kink, pregnancy mentioned. reader hates neytiri and neytiri is kinda a bitch ( i love her i promise) very questionable relationships, power dynamics, jake is a real pervert horny old man. reader is low key a nutcase yall but shes fun!
---
during the first great war, you were too young to fight, barely even beginning your training.
tsu'tey had told you to be patient, your time would come and some day you would make a fine warrior. so you watched as your people rained down from the sky, dead bodies hitting the trees with so much force you thought it was thunder. that it was the end of all.
the war took and took and took, your mother, your father, your olo'eyktan, your teacher. leaving you to navigate the world so broken. you vowed to become a warrior so great that if the day ever came again, you would be ready. but there was no tsu'tey, your once beloved teacher.
instead there was toruk makto. and he took up the duty of training the young. and when your time came, he trained you to be an animal.
"find a rhythm when you strike." he told you all those years ago under the silent forest canopy.
you hummed, crouched under a thick leaf while taking aim. the arrow pierced the hide with a speed that sent a thrill up your spine. jake was your rythm. every day running through the forest till your feet burned, every hour with your fingers curled around the string of your bow. watching, waiting for the time to pounce.
when you raced to the top of the floating mountains, wrestled your ikran, jake saw himself in you. you were so hungry, full of a fire born of loss, pushing you forward. to any cost you were willing to keep it burning.
you were the only one that was interested in metal. let it poison your heart, that way when you strike it will be without any doubt to cloud your mind. so jake gave you your own gun. perhaps against better judgment, or perhaps because he just can not say no to you when you pout.
you spent much time together, tracking herds until you ran them down. racing one another back till the sun set. jake didn't just train you to be a warrior, he cultivated you to your full potential. a full blown weapon, loyal to him.
you hunted for sport, hung around the humans more then anyone, kept yourself secluded and only showed face when needed, took your gun everywhere, and many voices rose in worry of what you would become.
"you can not teach like this." neytiri had said.
"she's learning faster then anyone i've ever seen. you should see the way she holds a gun, she's made for this." jake tried.
"no, jake. we do not use metal here."
"she is my best soldier."
"we are not in war. she is but a student."
he sighed, "im going to seek mo'ats opinion on this tomorrow."
and he did. mo'ats words were simple. "it is not the way. you wish to train her to your ways, as olo'eyktan, you have the right. you must be mindful of the unrest it may bring."
your guns went the same afternoon. "you are joking."
"im not, the people dont like it." jake had said.
"but you do?"
"you handle the gun better then me some days."
"so give it back."
"theres no war. this is the time of peace. if you need it, i promise you you'll get it." he'd get you the stars if you asked.
you didnt talk to him for weeks. but life goes on and you learned to live with what you had. you watched as he welcomed his children. but he was missing something that spoken to the most carnal parts of him, you.
one thing leads to more things that lead to bad choices that lead to him coming to your little woven hut deep in the mountains. hand on your back while you whined into your blankets.
"jake, jake, jake," you had cried, tears welling in your eyes trying to breath as his cock bullied it's way inside of you.
"so good baby just like that-please," he choked. you were beautiful, listened to every single word he said, swallowed every last drop, breathed every breath of air in. you were perfect.
he would leave after massaging the sore knots from the back of your thighs, kissing your temple as you drifted to gentle sleep. ignoring the voice in the back of his head reminding him of his wife he left at home to come fuck a much younger hunter, one he trained.
times were good. even if you knew he would never truly be yours. not with neytiri around. but you would never give up what you had. you were his.
even at dinners around the fire, you had his attention. eating with his family but his gaze remained fixed to you.
"the hunt is good." neyriti would say, turning over the meat in her hands.
you rolled your eyes behind her back, bitting back the urge to scowl and bare your teeth. "of course it is good, i caught it."
she huffed at this, waving a hand in your direction and dismissing you like a child. jake never saw you as a child. jake never made off hand comments to try and reduce you to nothing but your past.
neytiri was always pushing you in front of others, seeing how far she's able to take things before setting you off. she got very good at this.
there were days when the hunt was unlucky, brining back scraps.
"this will not be enough."
"i know."
"then go and hunt. we have many hungry mouths." she scoffed. she has hungry mouths. with her growing family, each a hungry mouth needing to be fed. why doesnt she go and hunt then? why is it she is allowed to delay her duties and go frolicking about.
"it is raining neytir, we will track nothing." you had a little troupe of hunters you led. every short fall and mistake came back on you.
"try harder."
"i do."
"ts'tey would have tried much harder."
"do not speak his name to me as if I did not know him." you hissed.
"you did not know him as i did, and i know he would have been out there for hours to ensure his people were fed."
"did you know him this closely when you betrayed him for jake?"
she barred her teeth, standing to get in your face. you gave a small smile, please eywa let her hit first, you prayed.
it was jake who came to settle it, pulling you apart while you smiled at him.
"what has gotten into you?" he scolded, sitting cross legged in your home.
"tell her to stop using the dead in vain. tsu'teys memory lives on in all of us, not just her. she does not get a monopoly on those whoa re with ewya." you cried, sobbing into your hands till he gently curled around you, hands wiping the tears from your cheeks.
"i'll talk to her baby, i got ya. shh, dont cry now."
"i miss my family."
"i know you do baby girl, i know."
he soothed your whimpers with gentle kisses till the sun came up and the hunt began again. you were content, even in the clouded past. your rhythm was finding it's way, and it was not a bad one. shaky, but good.
and then the war came, your guns came back. and you became devoted to your own twisted vengeful nature, devoted to following jake. jakes visits to you late at night were less frequent, but he trusted few others to be by his side when it mattered.
his children had grown old enough to be bothering you. and yet you never turned him away when he ducked his head into your home. nosing his muzzle into the crook of your neck and breathing you in.
and then he left.
----
jake doesn’t know why he does half the things he does. call it divine intervention or just bullshit, but he's moved his family miles and miles away to live with people that have funny arms and smell like fish.
his time with the metkayina has only made him wish he brought you along like you begged, pleaded and cried.
"you are to leave?" you had said, hands working on yet another arm band for him. fingers twisting the leather pieces.
"yes, I have to protect my family and the people."
you frowned, not looking him in the eye. "you must protect your mate."
ah there it is, the low blow. you've never liked neytiri. not for a second.
he sees you everywhere. in the young reef girls that give him shy smiles, the warriors that are so eager to please. to show off for torok makto, for when else would they get the chance?
you would out shine them all. the way you move so easily on the ground, without a single sound. gun flush to your chest as you weave between the trees, tail curled around your thigh. loincloth stuck to you from the sweat pooling on your skin. curve of your thighs at each leap. he needs to get his shit together.
"i can not stand these people." neytiri hisses, skin purple from being in the sun all day long.
"we can to learn how to be useful here." he huffs.
"it does not mean i must like them."
you wouldn't complain. you would follow him to any peak, and cavern with a smile, eyes wide with excitement. like a good soldier. perfect and pliant for him to order any which way.
when he tells you to get on your knees and open your mouth, you never hesitate. when he man handles you on the forest floor, eagrly feeling you up after being away for days on end, your duties pulling each other opposite ways, you smile, press your ass harder into his crotch. he can't remember the last time neytiri did much more then place a hand on his shoulder.
---
when he comes back, jake feels like he's young again. you're among the first to welcome him home, even as brief as it is. tarsem is who comes to find you, deep in your hut weaving and weaving and weaving.
"he's back." tarsem smiles,
you go running, heading right to him. "jake!" you shout. the smile he gives you is worth all the eye rolls your fellow hunters give you.
he gives you a smile, bringing you in for a hug. he smells like the sea, salt and fish, seaweed and of their strange plants, but underneath it all he smells like jake.
you notice he brought only himself, no family, and the realization makes your palms itch. it can be so easy now to be together without that awful women in the way.
the little festivities on his return brighten everyones mood, a warm fire, a good meal. of course dancing and music. you dance along with a few of the men, who come to drag you from your seat at the fire. you reluctantly agree, swaying side to side as they urge you to let loose. and you do, feeling jake's gaze on you every second of the way.
"you should only be dancing with me," he breathes into your neck later that night, hand rubbing your ass softy as you sit on his lap.
"they wanted me to dance," you shrug, teasing.
" 'course they did baby, look at you." he groans, leaving a wet trail of kisses down your neck as you shiver. its been so long since anyone has touched you, not since he left.
its enough talk, your bodies crave one another so violently you think you might cum just from being close to him. seems like jake has the same idea, sliding you off of him and taking his loincloth off.
"gonna ruin you tonight. need you smelling like me for the next week. fuck im gonna claim you." he groans, cock springing free from its confines. already leaking precum at its fat tip. youre drooling.
he cocks his head, helping you get on all fours, ass up as he takes your loincloth off. you arent much better, slick entrance already a wet mess from all the day dreaming you've been doing of him, puffy little cunt aching for it. it missed him.
"oh baby would ya look at that. needy, what a mess." he licks a stripe up your cunt, holding you steady at the hip as you shiver.
"jake, fuck." you moan.
"so sweet." he mumbles on your clit, giving it a harsh suck.
"just put it in please please please." you beg, already. drooling at the thought of him filling you up again.
he grunts, taking his cock in his hands, giving it a few tugs and lining it up with your slick pussy. he doesnt go slow, pushing the fat tip in and rocking his hips until he's nestled as deep as you can take him. you rock forwards, mouth open and panting at feeling him inside you at all once.
neither of you speak as you clench around him, sweat beading on his temples as he fights every instinct to pound you.
"i can take it." you mumble, as if you can read his mind. you wont break, he's been rougher, meaner before.
"please." you say again, barely above a whisper.
he takes both hands to your hips, griping you so tightly you think it'll bruise as he sets a pace that sends shock waves across your body. you grip onto anything you can, back arches as you meet him at every thrust.
and jake is whining, mouth opening while he tries to chase the feeling of your hot pussy every time he trusts out. groaning and moaning when he enters again. he can not believe he's gone this long without you. he's going to have a hard hard time controlling himself now.
"god youre so fucking beautiful." he chokes out, so broken it's almost like hes about to cry from the sheer overwhelming pleasure you’re giving him. hole fluttering and clenching around him as he gives it to you so good.
he hunches over your back, stretching an arm over your cunt to rub on your pretty clit thats now completely soaked in a sticky sweet mess. all for him, you're all for him. he kisses your shoulder blades before liking a stripe down your markings, and biting down, hard.
you yelp out, senses overwhelmed as he hammers your abused hole, finger on your clit and now nipping and bitting at your shoulder leaving marks you know everyone will see tomorrow. the idea makes your head spin. is he-claiming you?
"no everyone will see jake-ah fuck-they’ll know." you try, finding any last once of strength to pull you from the haze you’re completely submerged in before you do something you both will regret.
" dont care. i want them to know."
"jake" you warm, toes curling as you begin to reach your peak.
"i mean it, fuck baby girl. just look at you, taking my dick so fucking good."
"fuck i love your dick, i love it i love it." you babble.
"they need to know im the one that gave it to you this fucking good."
you nod along, voice gone as he picks up the pace, heavy balls slapping against you. he takes his hand from your clit to turn your head, opening your mouth and giving you one nasty kiss. messy and full of tongue as you moan into his mouth.
you part with a wet pop, his big hand grabbing at your tits before he goes back to hammering your clit so hard you jolt.
"easy baby, I got you. daddys got ya. " he purrs against your throat.
the words, the feeling, his cock bruising your cervix and the fingers working your clit open becomes all too much.
"jake," you warn, " 'm close." tears begin to swell in your eyes.
he brings you closer agasint him, grunting. "that's it thats it, shh i got ya baby, come on cum for me. cum on my cock."
and you do, bright hot intensity bursting through you as you cry out his name, hands coming to grip against his thighs so harshly you think youre drawing blood but you do not care. your vision goes blurry as it pulses through you but he doesnt stop. claming you down on him as his pace begins to sputter unevenly.
"im close angel, where do you want it?"
"inside." you mumble weakly.
"baby we cant-"
"you said you wanted everyone to know." you whine back at him. "so show them."
his brain shuts off after that, any critical thinking goes out the door and flies back to earth. his rational and much more reasonable voice in his head is screaming at him to stop, but he just can't. you feel so good, so tight and perfect as you just came around him, and now you want him to fill you up with his seed? breed you deep and good just the way both of you have always been craving? he can not say no.
"fuck, yeah i'll fucking breed you. knock you up so-fuckign hell-everyone knows." bucking his hips into you as he groans out, voice breaking as he whines, thrusting one last time and grabbing your hips flush to him as he drains his balls deep inside you. filling you up just the way you wanted.
when he finally pulls out, he turns you on your back to watch it leak out of you, so beautiful and perfect for him.
"shit shit shit." he mutters.
you lay with your eyes closed, breathing softly, arms over your head and he has just knocked you up, genuinely. jake is a real piece of shit. there is no talking himself out of this one when you begin to show, belly getting rounder and fuller. and the chances of the baby having 5 fingers is too high to be able to wave the possibility off completely. everyone will know jake sully, torok makto got his star little soldier pregnant.
a chunk of the avatar fandom thinks neteyam doesnt have a rebellious bone in his body and i think it's funny because all of jeytiri's kids are built from jake "yeah this is great [runs out lab bare ass out]" sully and neytiri "we are mated before eywa" te tskaha mo'at'ite.
honorary mention grace "im not letting selfridge and quaritch micromanage [moves team to hallelujah mountains]" augustine
𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 thank you to all these amazing writers for sharing your stories with us !
‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹ golden brown - the stranglers
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
𑣲 what does this mean? slangs, kissing, slightly sugestive ⋮ come here. hurt & comfort ⋮ taste of the sun. enemies to lovers, canon-typical violence @dasvidny4
𑣲 bare your fangs. enemies to lovers, slowburn, slight soulmates, childhood rivals, forced proximity, smut @saduko (my bedtime story .ᐟ)
𑣲 the hearts that bind us. idiots-to-lovers, childhood friends-to-lovers, one-sided pining ⋮ like blood despite water. death, angst, hurt / comfort, implied neteyam x reader (but could possibly read platonic as well) ⋮ all mine. fluff ⋮ like a diamond under pressure. established relationship, neteyam is sweet as always and reader has a lot of thoughts / doubts ⋮ my love. a lil angst, hurt / comfort, fluff. @loaksky
𑣲 reprieve. friends to lovers, pining, angst, friendship breakup, post AFAA, miscommunication, mild AFAA spoilers, eventual smut, slowburn @thesilverset
𑣲 yayayr. misunderstandings, nudity, slight sexual innuendo, angst ⋮ ketsun -> sang. cannon divergence, yearning, sharing a bed, ‘i dont want ninat’ vibes, misunderstandings, tshaeylu, suggestive content @hanginginthevoid
𑣲 i'll miss you. fluff @sweetlyth
𑣲 mighty warrior. sfw, some vague threats, protective neteyam, lots of fluff ⋮ mini me. sfw, slice of life vibes, fluff, humor ⋮ lovely dreamer. sfw, slice of life vibes, lots of fluff, sleepy neteyam, a little playful teasing, mates sharing a hammock, non sexual intimacy @paskalinn
𑣲 you kiss all your friends like this? cheeky neteyam, naive reader, first kisses, escalating physical affection (making out), handsy behavior, parental interruption, mild embarrassment @ruya4four
𑣲 the princess and the warrior. childhood friends, reunion, angst, yearning ⋮ fly (me to your heart). fluff, romance, slight angst @koiibiito
𑣲 the storm. heacanons, "she fell first but he fell harder", angst, fluff @moonpetrichors-blog
𑣲 little secret. secret dating, secret relationship, kissing, making out, a tiny tiny amount of sexual themes if you squint, suggestive mentions of mating @nyctophicbtch
𑣲 carry me. fluff @keisobe
𑣲 the inevitable. angst, super cute and fluffy, a tad bit spicy @xluvablz
Author's note: This is for @junebugonjupiter's writing event. The prompt is that Jake makes reader cry. I also want to apologize for how long it took to get this out. I was going through some personal stuff.
Summary: Jake has a PTSD induced nightmare...and even when he opens his eyes he can't escape it.
Word count: 1.2K
Warnings: It gets pretty dark, minor descriptions of death (not reader), description of violence and choking. Please let me know if I missed anything. There's no comfort in this one it's just angst, angst, angst.
The night had started off so well. The children were out of the marui, having chosen to spend time with Tsireya and Ao'nung, which you and Jake had no qualms about. It gave the two of you time to yourselves, a chance to reconnect.
And now, after the laughter, the touches that felt like fire, the heavy breaths, you and Jake lay in your shared hammock intertwined with one another. Your legs are woven together, his chest pressed to your back almost as if he was shielding your much smaller body with his. You're in a peaceful slumber, dreaming of the family you feel so lucky to be a part of, blissfully unaware of what's occuring beside you.
While your sleep might be peaceful, Jake's is anything but. He's stuck in a war raging behind his eyes. His dreams have brought him back to one of the worst days of his life, he's in the heat battle, riding atop toruk. He can't hear the calming sound of the waves crashing against the shore, he can't hear the air bursting from your exo-pack with every breath you take. All he can hear is the gunfire, the crashing of the RDA aircraft as it slams into the mountains, the screeching of ikran as they are shout down, but the sound that sends terror straight to his heart is Neytiri's scream.
He can see it all unfolding in slow motion. Neytiri reels back from the force of the bullet entering her chest, only milimeters away from where Varang's hit her a few weeks ago. Jake's eyes widen in horror, his heart stopping and shattering, as he sees Neytiri let go of Sa'ata and fall into the water below.
"NOOO!!" Jake lets out an agonizing yell. There's nothing he can do. He can't leave to recover Neytiri's body. He has to stay and fight.
You're woken up from the shout that Jake makes in his sleep. You sit straight up and look over at him at your side. He's sweating, shaking, tears are streaming down his face as he whispers 'Tiri'.
He's dreaming about her again, it happens every so often, even after years passed, when his subconscious can't keep the trauma at bay. You'd been Jake's friend ever since he entered the Avatar Program to take over Tommy's work. You helped behind the scenes, helping the drivers maintain their links like Max, you also helped Jake learn about the Na'vi culture when Norm was frustrated with him. You were there for it all. The birth of every child, to test Kiri after her seizure underwater, to comfort the family after Neteyam's death, you were there for the reveal of Kiri's parentage, you were there when mycilium was creating symbiosis in Spider's body. And you were there for the Sully's in their time of need when Neytiri had died.
Somewhere between helping out around the marui where needed and consoling Jake and the kids the lines begin to blur and the two of you fell in love. Which is why it hurts you to see him this way. You bring your hand up to cup whatever you can of his cheek, to offer a comforting touch, but all it does is make him flinch. It makes your heart hurt to see him in such pain in a state where he should be able to escape it. Tears well up in your waterline as you turn your body to sit on your knees so you can take ahold of his arm.
"Jake," you whisper softly, begining to gently shake him. "Jake, c'mon baby, wake up. Wake u-"
Suddenly, Jake's eyes snap open, and when they shift to you he raises his giant hand to shove you out of the hammock. Your back hits the floor knocking the air from your lungs and quicker than lightning Jake is on top of you, trapping you between his legs.
When your gaze reaches his, fear washes over your body like ice cold water hitting your skin. His brow is furrowed, his mouth is drawn tight, and his ears are pinned so close to his skull. His eyes are filled with hatred. It's like he's not even seeing you, like the Jake you know has completely disapeared and has been replaced with someone else. You go to say his name again, hoping you can snap him out of it but before it can leave your lips his hand grips your neck and begin to squeeze.
"This is for my wife," Jake growls, baring his fangs. Jake isn't in the room with you he's still years in the past. All he can see is the fire on the water from the chemicals the wrecked ships have produced, he sees the person he has in his grasp, the face hidden behind the glare on their exo-pack mask.
Your tears are freely flowing now, your chest burns with lack of oxygen, and you struggle to get any words past your constricted throat. They felt like broken glass coming up. "Jake please-," your plea comes out croaked and it's cut off as his hand cinches tighter.
"Shut. Up." Jake seethes. You can't tell if it's the sound of his tail thumping against the floor or if it's your heartbeat in your ears. Your fingers find his hand and you try your best to claw at them, hoping to to pry it from your neck. You're scared, you're in excruciating pain, but you're trying with everything in you to free yourself. You bring your legs up and start kneeing and kicking into his sternum with whatever strength your body has left in it.
Wherever Jake is, whoever he's with, they must be fighting back just like you because his free hand shoots to your ankles and wrenches your legs down. It causes your hips to crack from the force and a scream to rip itself from your vocal cords.
Jakes hands leave your body immediately, like they came in contact with a flame. Jake reels back from your form and your exo-pack releases the loudest hiss as you gulp down the oxygen it provides and you're full-on sobbing. His pupils are the size of pin pricks as he takes in the sight of your body being wracked with emotion and he feels sick to his stomach. He can feel the bile rising as he realizes what he's done.
"Baby...," Jake starts to soothe, slowly reaching out to touch you.
"No!" You stagger back in panic, "Don't touch me!" Your mask has fogged with how hard you've been crying. Jake moves his arm back as quickly as before and with the space that's been granted, you slowly get up, sucking air between your teeth as the pain that darts to your pelvis. Jake flinches at that.
"Where're you going?" He finds himself asking as you limp to the door of the marui. You look back to answer and the sight that greets you breaks you a little more. Jake is sitting on his knees, his hands and arms frozen on his thighs, his dreads are framing his face, and his cheeks are stained with tears as well.
"I'm finding somewhere else to sleep tonight," our words are like a neurotoxin dipped arrow. Just like that you disappear from his sight. He's left there in the silence that his actions have wrought.
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