She leanes her head back and laughs loudly. It's not a nice laugh. It's sharp and wicked. Too high in some places. But the way she laughs...
Facing the sky, howling her voice, as if to challange the world itself.
She kneels down, she's got this tired, dark shadows under her eyes, but her eyes. Wow- They're beautiful.
They're big and dark, her lashes are long and curled. Just like mine. But it feels different. Her glasses are different too. They're more rounded, compared to my squeared frames.
She reaches out her hand. Her nails are painted in a glittering blue. That's such a weird color to choose. Why not purple red?
Her hand is calloused, I take it, my hand is tiny compared to hers. But it feels just as rough as it looks.
her forarms have little drawings on them. they're tiny adn cute. there are flowers, and leaves, and hearts and bubbles... They better not be tattoos...We said we'd never get those.
"Are those real tattoos?" I whisper.
She smiles. But it's crooked, and it doesn't reach her eyes. She's not smiling with her teeth... what's that about? I always smile with all my teeth, and stretch my smile as far as it'll go. What's wrong with her?
"No...It's just pen, see." She takes her other hand and wipes away a bubble. It is pen. I smile a little, at least she still draws.
Her clothes are weird. She's wearing pants with lots of pockets. And a long shirt. And a weird mickey mouse jacket. I hate pants like that though. I hate jackets like that too. I like dresses. Does she not like dresses? Her Hijab is on wrong, she's wearing a weird one, she's wearing it the wrong way. When I wore it like that, the aunties said i looked lke an old grandma. Why is she wearing that? I hate her clothes.
She looks puzzled. "I'm you."
"No! You're not me! I don't laugh like that! I don't wear glasses like that! I hate that nail color! I don't draw on myself! I always smile with all my teeth! I hate pants like that! And those jackets! And I hate your hijab! And you DON'T look like me! You look- Horrible. I hate that! I Hate you!"
I keep screaming and sreaming but she doesn't look away. My friends are looking at me weird. But it's not my fault. She's wrong. She's not me. I'm not like that-
I stop. What? What is she saying??
She lowers her head, "I'm sorry we didn't turn out the way you wanted." She looks up again. She has tears in her eyes, but she's smiling. She's so weird.
"And one day, you'll be just at mad as you are right now. But then, it won't be at me..." She meets my eyes. "It'll be at you."
I jump back, and let go of her hand. What is wrong with her?! I hate her! I'll never be like her!
She stands up, she's still smiling, but she looks so sad. I almost feel bad for what i said. Almost.
"You're going to meet some bad people..." She starts "And...You're going to realize that some people you thought were good...weren't that good after all..." Her smile falters, she wants to cry, I can tell. But she won't. Instead she bring the smile back
"You'll do some bad things-" She flinches as she says that, and looks at me. She looks me up and down, and she looks like she might throw up. I flinch right back. What could I possibly do that could make her. This older version of me, reel in fear?
She looks at the ground. "...And...You'll try to do something you never would have imagined you could do..." She still isn't crying. What happened to her?! What happened that made her unable to cry normally? can she even cry at all...?
"But..." She looks up, and her smile is back. It's smaller, but it looks realer, like she really means what she is about to say.
"You'll also meet some amazing people...And do amazing things... and... You'll discover things about yourself. And those things will make you sad, but they'll also make you happy."
She's looking right into my eyes. And I feel really sad. Because I hate her. I do. But she is me. And...I don't want to hate me...
But before anyone can say anything. Her skin starts to glow. It's glowing this pinky-golden glow. She looks really pretty now that i see it.
She looks down. Then she turns towards the other people. They're all glowing too. She looks at me.
"Guess it's home-time." She smiles again. and tuns away.
I hate her. I hate her. But she is Me.
She turns back, confused.
She smiles again, its completely real now. But her eyes are sad.
"A little- No. Not yet..."
"But don't worry! I'll try really hard. One day we will be."
Her smile stretches, and it's all teeth. They're straight, unlike mine, they're a little crooked. Maybe we get nicer teeth in the future.
"One day... We'll be the happiest in the world."
And then theres a bright light.
I hate her. I hate her. I hate her...
So maybe i'll hate her a little less...
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