Remember The Somp's?

In ancient times there was this cartoon sitcom called The Somp's or something. Nobody believes me when I describe it so me and my team of media archeologists are reconstructing it entirely from memory.

[thesomps]

We now return to The irregularly unscheduled Somp's, as we rember a classic episode from the so-called Goldeen Era of the show, as best as I and my team of sompso-archaeologists can recall it. This episode touched on a topic that historians believe was foremost in the minds of many Americans at the time: The concerns around the rise of the Charles Entertainment Cheese cabaret theater and its use of artificially intelligent musical performers, while actual musicians, such as Sting, were struggling to find work. Even though such concerns have been safely laid to rest for many decades now, I have done my best to reconstruct how this contentious issue was referenced in the episode while avoiding digging up unnecessary controversy.

(Reconstructed 13 Nov 2024)

[thesomps]

As readers who have the same degree of photographic memory as I do can attest, Pelma and Satty's hairstyles changed in this episode, but were quickly changed back to their iconic look. We can only speculate what daring artistic decisions influenced this, and what hapless designers were fired for being so daring. Nonetheless, Martindoza, daringly introduced in this episode, became a regular character, proving the importance of the episode "Saturdozaaaaaaa" in Somp's history.

Also, I'd like to announce that I have successfully sold ownership of The Somp's to Disney Entertainment Industries Incorporated Corp, but rest assured I am still in creative control and am rembering The Somp's without making any alterations to how they were originally aired, as you can see. However, this new lucrative business arrangement technically classifies The Somp's as a news source, so certain episodes may no longer be available to Australian or Canadian Facebook users. Thank you for your patience.

(Reconstructed 23 February 2021)

[thesomps]

Rember when The Somp's predicted pandemics and civil unrest? I know I do, with perfect clarity! Come to think of it, I really don't know why people go looking for clues about the future hidden in religious texts and corporate logos when it's all there in The Somp's! This episode of The Somp's, "Morg Escapes from Jail" even predicted this 4-panel comic that I just made!

(Reconstructed 20 February 2021)

[thesomps]

Rember when Hormer's friend Āpülius got retired for being naughty? What a memorable and prototypically "1990s" episode of The Somp's "The Āpü and Hormer Show" was. I easily recall every detail, all of which I incorporate into these four humble yet accurate panels for your perusal - even the character palette error in panel 3, one of many memorable character model blunders that plagued the early episodes' production.

(Reconstructed 22 January 2021)

[thesomps]

This episode - "My Three Guns" - is highly memorable because it was re-run quite often due to its topicalness. And even today we can still learn some important wisdom about eating irregular cookies despite what the King of England thinks about them. After all, what's a King to a Senator?

(Reconstructed 28 July 2020)

[thesomps]

This unforgettable episode taught us that old kooks may be brimming with highly dubious tales, but they're also brimming with a lifetime of cunning that's not to be underestimated, experience that's also not to be underestimated, and selfishly hoarded wealth that must be reclaimed for the good of the economy! That's a lot of things to brim with if you think about it. "Grandfather Orb and the Treasure of the Hellfish Bananas" was the episode's name.

(Reconstructed 27 July 2020)

[thesomps]

Now, I may not remember much of this episode, but I am 100% sure that all of the themes and issues I've represented here are what the original episode depicted. (Seriously.) It was considered a very wholesome and heartwarming episode at the time, at least by '90s kids, who have since all grown up to be wholesome adults.

(Reconstructed 6 July 2020)

[thesomps]

Community Engagement Transmission for 24 September 2019:

Hey-doodly-hi, Sompreros! More "The Somp's" cartoons are on the way, but in the meantime please enjoy this unused bonus material that was originally going to be the final panel of the latest Somp's comic before one of my interns rememembered that back in the 1990s, selfies and hashtags weren't invented yet, so how could they have featured in that episode? We at "The Somp's" take historical accuracy and faithfulness to the source material very seriously, as any legitimate historian or art conservator should. We hope to continue to help you rember The Somp's to the best of our collective recollection! 

[thesomps]

This episode, as fans of the show may recall, was famously funded by the American Institute for Food and Drink Standards to discourage people from eating or drinking stuff they shouldn't, and it really showed. Such heavy-handed meddling from Big Business was never again welcomed into The Somp's writing room.

(Reconstructed 20 July 2019)

[thesomps]

I'm sure we all remember this rad episode - "Here's Looking Statue Kid" - as its influence is responsible for an estimated 89.9% of the damage inflicted upon statues around the world over the following 40 years by copycat vandals who did not learn from Bort's fatal lesson.

(Reconstructed 5 July 2019)

[thesomps]

And who could forget the classic Somp's episode "Generalist Bort" in which we learn about conflict and stuff? Not Molmon, that's for sure! Anyway, it may not make a lot of sense to you kids now, but back in the day this episode was considered very topical because the United States was involved in a war or wars at the time.

(Reconstructed 3 July 2019)

[thesomps]

The episode in which Lease Somp's gets a pony, a tale about Lease getting a pony of her own, so that the pony belonged to her. I think it was called "The Horse That Couldn't Be Lease's".

(Reconstructed 20 May 2019)

[thesomps]

Ahhh yes, we all rember the timely political satire of "Too Bad, Neighbors!" You couldn't get away with this edgy stuff these days I tell ya, these days certain people are so easily offended, they'd be phoning into the show and complaining about how their oh-so-important feelings have been hurt by jokes, and by "certain people" I mean of course the US President. Anyway, please note that even back in those days, President Bush was notorious for his obsession with Simpsons. Who these "Simpsons" were remains a mystery, but it didn't stop him from taking out his rage on the innocent Somp's family.

(Reconstructed 4 May 2019)

[thesomps]

The episode "That's Our Hormer" is an unforgettable classic, though I can't shake the feeling that I've left something or someone out. Ah, it's probably nothing too important. Long live Hormer Somp's!

(Reconstructed 25 April 2019)

[thesomps]

Remember The Somp's? It's back, but you really have to be familiar with the Pogs of Pablo Neruda in order to fully comprehend it.

Some viewers have notified us with criticisms regarding a certain degree of "artistic inconsistency" between consecutive panels. While we take all criticism into account, we must state in this case - and especially in this episode, "Bort's Spiritual Deporture" - that this is really what the show looked like back in the olden days, where the animation quality was constantly changing due to outsourcing to different studios, and we feel that our own diversity of art styles across four panels reflects this in a historically accurate manner, so shut up!!! Let's see YOU do better

(Estimated date of reconstruction: 24 April, 2019)

[thesomps]

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to appreciate "Bort is Smort", the The Somp's episode wherein Borthalamule, or "Bort" deceived his elders into thinking that he was a genius, when really, he was just as dumb as you or I.

[thesomps]

Has The Somp's become a hard-core raunch comic so gradually that you didn't notice? No! That is NOT the case at all, as you may have noticed. This one has been left uncensored because we are all sensible growns-up, here, and we can handle reading naughty words with maturity and appreciation for the artistic context in which they are appropriately delivered, for Crikey's sake. Behold "The Duckin'est Temptation of Hormer" like an adult.

(Reconstructed 23 April 2019... Actually I'm not sure the dates on these earlier episode are accurate. We didn't reconstruct so many on the same day. They must have been archived together at a later date after their reconstruction)