i highly recommend developing an intense interest in some natural phenomenon or creature such as bugs or stars or mushrooms. you will be delighted every time you go outside
I have some thoughts about episode 240 and I'd like to share them all with you here.
[Long post under cut]
I've been thinking mainly about the VHS tapes, and the idea of them being this kind of legacy that one has to hold on to, before giving them up and letting them become a memory.
And with that, I'm thinking about the literal physical act of cutting the cord after swiftly announcing who you are. Cutting the cord is an idiom for becoming independent. In broadcasting (TV or otherwise) it's dropping a channel you no longer want to view.
Kevin announcing to the town who he was, and then subsequently cutting out the broadcast in one fell swoop not only declares his independence, but also takes control right back. To cut the cord implies, to me, no longer being defined by that of what one has been defined by for eons.
An ancient radio host.
A man who has wandered the desert for centuries.
Given everything we know about Cecil and Kevin's relationship, and the animosity, and then perhaps vague understanding later on, it is no wonder that Cecil was the one to make the boy confront who he is. So much has happened to Cecil since he last saw Kevin. Angels are real. He's a father. His town has been explained away and brought back to life. Cecil doesn't give him a choice to turn his head away.
Cecil, who so rarely has the opportunity or ability to truly confront who his is, seeing a young boy in front of him asking the same questions, looking in dire need of an explanation, and instead of telling him, Cecil makes him confront it. Cecil's job isn't to explain, it's to observe, report and offer perspective.
So I'm thinking about Cecil as a father, who was once himself a child abandoned by his mother, giving this child, despite who it clearly is, the chance to come into his own, even if its terrifying. And I wouldn't even be bringing this up if it were not for the beginning bit at the episode about Tamika worrying about the knife the boy was holding. Cecil's calm, "Well, is he doing anything with the knife? Has he hurt anyone with the knife?" is so..... parental in a way that Tamika hasn't had the time to really cultivate herself yet.
Carlos seemingly, once again, was aware of something before everybody else and chose to stay silent. Some things some people are meant to discover on their own, and perhaps Carlos knew this, but I also think Carlos was once again afraid. Cecil has had eons to become comfortable with not understanding the truth, where Carlos has only had about two decades (or one, depending on how you want to view it) to become accustomed to it.
The beauty of this episode is that I feel like it is about the anxieties of being a parent. And it did it so beautifully without ever directly saying it. Think about it.
You have Tamika unsure but trusting her instincts, you have Carlos encouraging curiosity despite what it may entail, and Cecil, letting the boy define himself despite his fear.
In a very dramatic, reversed horror story trope, Cecil allowed Kevin to define himself, despite what that's going to entail. He doesn't know if it's going to be anything good, but that's the risk you take as a parent. I'm not saying that Cecil is Kevin's parent here, just to be clear, I'm saying symbolically speaking, sometimes we have to let people make their own choices and be their own people, and sometimes they end up doing bad things or making bad choices and we have to live with that. Sometimes it's not our place to step in. Sometimes we are just an observer, it's not our job to change the story, but to simply let it unfold.
That's the job and the anxiety of being a parent, of a person, of a friend, of a reporter.
The beauty of this episode is that it's a rebirth. And we've been given hints over the last handful of episodes. The murals, the children worshipping, the snake god (Cecil's whole bit about being swallowed by a snake in episode freaking 1) of Carlos un-explaining the town, the car crash on Buellton Avenue, of Lauren even saying (episode 237) "Because to ignore our past is to destroy our future. I hope you don't have anything in your past that you have not atoned for, Kevin." etc. All of these themes have been present.
So, to go back to the tapes and of legacy, and how legacy can be traded off for the relief of memory. These two people, once solely defined as their position at their station, have diverged.
The last time Cecil and Kevin were alone in a studio together (physically, and if memory serves) Cecil was taking back his station from Kevin. In episode 48 Cecil even says, as a one off, "Don't run with knives". Since then, Cecil has had the opportunity to really create roots elsewhere, to set aside a legacy and create memories, all we have heard of Kevin (recently that is) is him being subsumed by Lauren who, might I add, kept making him call her 'Mother'.
And now, here we have Kevin, cutting the cord, cutting out the broadcast, not as a double, not as a replacement, not as his past or his future, but as Kevin.
Young Cecil doing his homework with no help and walking past his mom’s half-open door hoping she doesn’t hear him sneaking out and doodling things like “CGP + EH” in his notebook (crossed out) and turning in permission slips at school that the teachers reject because they’re all signed by his big sister and feeling a shiver down his spine whenever he sees a too-tall tree and stealing makeup from drug stores but popping out the mirrors first and falling asleep to the radio and stacking cassette tapes next to his mattress because he never got a frame for his bed and leaving out bowls of water for stray cats and chasing the mice out of his room and learning Torah verses even though he knows no one other than Abby will come to his Bar Mitzvah and crying himself to sleep at night but making up stories in the morning about the citizens he’s seen around town and bumping into Josie at the supermarket where she offers to drive him to the bowling alley and bringing his mom mother’s day flowers even though he’ll be the one who puts them in water, plucks away the dead leaves, throws them away while she watches with blank eyes and when he stares at the loud sunrise he feels an ache in his chest he can’t explain yet and hating that Abby can get a summer job but he’s not old enough yet, it’s starting to feel like decades have passed and he’s still not old enough, and failing his practice SATs because he had to teach himself all those big words and dying in front of a broken mirror and looking at a mirror with broken shards that’s still intact and being a beautiful person in spite of everything and dragging his boy scout recorder into a blanket fort to record cassette tapes about how one day things will be better, one day things will be better, one day things will be better.
Older Cecil dancing around the living room with Esteban standing on his feet and jogging in the misty early morning with Aubergine tugging at the leash alongside him and waking up to brew five pots of coffee and falling asleep in freshly washed sheets that smell vaguely like lavender chewing gum and texting Abby that hey when she sells that property they should celebrate over brunch, he’ll buy it this time, he knows money’s tight with Janice in college but everyone’s so proud of her and he’s ten minutes early to every PTA meeting and always takes Esteban to McDonald’s after because for some reason he can psychically fix the broken ice cream machines and he watches old movie reruns with Carlos while crocheting a hideous scarf and he still smokes weed but doesn’t need it as much and sex doesn’t bring up flashbacks these days and his studio booth at the station is covered in tchotchkes, family photos, old scripts, and at home he reads bed time stories to his son who will only ever know the love of two parents who love each other and he still cries sometimes but Carlos is there to hold him and his closet ran out of room for all his fun clothes and on the way to work people wave to him, and when he sets the table with mismatched plates there are three place settings, and the food is always warm, and there fresh flowers in the center.
Planning on doing other characters too, along with their reset bluffs counter parts ofc. But as for now…im occupied with another project I started yesterday I'll abandon in a week.
I will literally never be normal about Carlos "i know 2 things" and Cecil "what are they?" and Carlos "i love you" and Cecil "i love you too. What's the other thing?" and Carlos "you just said it" LIKE OK THANKS FOR INVENTING ROMANCE 💜💜💜💜
i cannot believe cecil gershwin palmer has the ability to make music play very loudly wherever and whenever he wants by introducing "the weather". like it isn't just during the radio breaks he does it irl to distract a mob in a later episode. this is infinitely funny to me if only because it's one of the most random and completely useless superpowers a man can have in a town full of angels, talking river rocks and other weird and powerful magic. maureen gets the ability to switch between dimensions and he gets to be a human radio
That one time Steve Carlsberg offhandedly mentioned how annoying it was to talk to Cecil because everytime he didn't want to listen to you he would just start talking about the weather and then you had to shout over music comming from nowhere.
[ID: A digital drawing of Cecil and Carlos from Welcome to Nightvale. Carlos is holding up and looking at a beaker with a blue liquid in it, while he has his other hand rested on one of Cecils arms, both of which are wrapped around Carlos from behind as Cecil rests his head on his shoulder. He smiles up at Carlos. The background is a rudimentary one of Carlos's lab which includes a handwashing poster, a science sticker with a smiley face, and a Glow Cloud poster that says "All Hail"
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