Even though people leave each other, all the time, they move on, they become busy, they find new love, the heart falters, and the past recedes, further and further into the distance, it doesn't it make it easier, to forget. 🎶
Peter Solarz
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@thesweetblossoms
Even though people leave each other, all the time, they move on, they become busy, they find new love, the heart falters, and the past recedes, further and further into the distance, it doesn't it make it easier, to forget. 🎶
Intelligence Is Our Shield
Unfortunately, I realize, that it wasn't surprising, that during a deposition today, the old, white male attorney, assumed I was the court reporter, and the young, white male court reporter, was the attorney, but, I also realize that there are certain experiences and evocations of reality, that only our intelligence can protect us from, because our heart cannot bear it for another moment longer. 🎶
The Unrecognizable
In the past, I had often thought things were just too unbearable, that I couldn't deal with the obstacles upon my path, that making it through for just one more day, was beyond me, I know now, however, that it wasn't that the hours were tough, but rather that I was too weak, to grasp the chances that linger within every frame of life, no matter how difficult it might be to recognize them, at the time. 🎶
NYC In Early March
I experienced, one of the most magical date nights in NYC, that will remain in my memory, tied with an effervescent silk bow, for there was something so indescribably enchanting about NYC on the cusp of spring, on a early March Thursday; the city shimmering with intense romance, hope and possibilities. We started the day at the Standard Hotel, to grab a cup of coffee, then perused the Whitney Biennial, followed by delicious Thai and German snacks, at Chelsea Market, we then went to three different bars including the Blind Tiger, Kettle Fish and Reservoir, with a break to attend a live jazz show at the Village Vanguard, followed by picking up sumptuous lamb gyros at a cart in Greenwich Village, reaching back to Tomorrow House around 2am, for showers and bed. The reason I was particularly happy was because I knew how unbelievably lucky I was to be in NYC, lingering in the presence of all the students, young professionals, tourists who also knew that these were the moments that will remain with them forever. 🎶
Also, a young stranger bumped into me and being quite tipsy and apparently unbalanced, I fell down onto a street on Greenwich Village, but being extremely excited to attend a concert, I immediately jumped up and proceeded to the show, and I still can't believe that I wasn't injured, as I was intoxicated, but due to some inexplicable angelic energy, I fell on my hip, shoulders and arms and my hands and head remained protected, reminding me that I must use both these wisely, to both pull myself and others up, but by first, unlocking the heart. 🎶
I hope for those who have ever loved me, I am not easy to forget, and for those who have ever hated me, I am difficult to remember.
You Can't Buy My Love
I am a maker of metaphysical things, that are fleeting, like a story, that moved you past a still night, or, a song, that lifted you as you were drowning, or a bouquet of flowers, to remind you that isn't about how long you live, but how your transform the light. 🎶
The stars are floating, in the night, but, the night, is drowning in the stars. 🎶
Early March Lullaby
I am attempting 7 beautiful thoughts before bedtime.
~Whoever created the Hersheys kisses chocolate design and packaging deserves centuries of adulation and worship.
~eBay window shopping of Persian rugs, should definitely be considering a form of self improvement.
~last night I dreamed of a coffee shop with a perfect slice of chocolate cake and a shiny black upright piano.
~my net-worth, excluding, the gold in my locker, turned out to be a lucky number, tonight.
~ but the real reason I feel rich, this evening, is because I have 163 notes with the word "gold", excluding this one.
~ merely changing into a new sexy lace underwear and fresh, white cotton tee, can be a soothing balm on a rainy early March Thursday night.
~ I hope wherever the weekend leads us, it is beset with music, inscribed with love and drowned in compassion. 🎶
Music and Words Are The Key 🎶
I must continue to focus on writing and making as much music, as I can, for these are acts within my control, and require no one but myself, for being a minority, I have noticed, my entire life, the connections, networks, communities, that occur so naturally for some people, opening new opportunities, vistas and chances, never quite unlock, for me, and therefore, I have to create my own musical, and literary worlds, and walk through. 🎶
Gossamer Wings
The truth is the most beautiful thing in the world, and it comes with its own gilded, gossamer wings, for I finally understand that society, will truly value a brown, Muslim Women, writing incessantly about flowers, or playing the piano, or hating her legal job, her art must either be of her subjugation, trauma, or oppression, or it erased, and ignored. 🎶
The Pinkophiles
The sky stirs pink at dawn, and sometimes we are lucky enough to awaken, to recognize we have been granted a new day. Thus the personality of pink is hope. Pink is a drop of blood in milk. It the preferred, color of shorts worn by WASPs, in the most charming, story book old towns in Connecticut. It bas been claimed as the color of India. Sometimes I wear a pink sweater with my pearls to my online zoom court appearances all over the state of California, and I know it makes my arguments sweeter. If I can't get white piller candles, from ShopRite, to cast, a spell, I will always choose the pink.
I am not ashamed to admit that I need another clothing rack just for my pink dresses, it is a guilty pleasure, as I believe it deepens the golden hues of my skin, and concentrates, the gentle elements of my personality, even if often argue for a living, and make music for a life. It is beyond a reasonable doubt, then when I am in pink, I feel more like myself. I wouldn't live in a pink house, for as much as I love the color, I understand its power lies in restraint, and must be wielded strategically, like a pop of bright pink lipstick with a white dress, which I also admit, that I have a penchant to collect, white dresses as well.
My favorite stones are also pink, especially pink sapphire, angel skin coral and morganite, for it deepens and reveals the light. I haven't gone so far as to collect books merely becuase they are pink, but I saw a Kate Spade book and a Sophia Coppola volume at the Barnes and Noble, and I know that pinkophiles, are as rampant in the art and design world, as the roses in my Connecticut garden. I associate the old American family, I married into as a a scarlet shade, for Roosevelts would never be pink. As a younger lawyer in Manhattan, I would wear pink stilletos to law firms, in midtown and Wall Street, as I began to define myself as fresh attorney, and yet a woman, and new mother, as well. As a rule, I only buy white cotton bedsheets, with a white duvet, but recently I layer it with a pink kantha, the delicate wash of color, somehow, makes the bed even more calm, innocent and peaceful, then before.
I am plotting a moon garden, with mainly white blossoms, but I know that the new dawn light pink roses, look just as beautiful in the moonlight and cast its own, unspeakably bewitching midnight garden spell. I adore conch seashells, for I am seduced by the mere hint of the lightest, most entrancing shade of pale pink, ever glimpsed on this side of heaven. I do wear my share of very bright pink, especially on date night to BlackRock, or Southport, even though it is less judged, in one Connecticut enclave, than the other. Have you ever noticed a single person who is angry when they wear pink? well neither do I. I didn't go so far as to get a pink piano, and though I saw a sugar pink one, at Steinway and Sons, I do imagine a tryst with it someday. At this point, it probably won't be a surprise to the darling reader, if I admit that I bought my mahogany upright Kawai piano, just because it compliments my adorementioned collection of pink dresses.
No one has actually ever wrote a song dedicated to pink, there is no 99 pink balloons, or a pink man who would die if they were green, but I did compose "Pink Bengali Sky". My school uniform, at Scholastica, was navy and blue, which truly are hues, that train the impressionable mind to appreciate a touch of pink, in the Sweet Valley High book covers, or watermelon juice, or pink sherbet, or pink dahlias from the grandfathers jute mills, or the pink chiffon, silk and lace saris, and, pink pearls, in the mothers wardrobe. My soon to be 11 year old daughter resists pink, but I always compliment her when she wears it, even though it is evident, that she is unlikely to ever overdose on it, while I know my 15 year son, steers completely clear of the shade, gendering the hue to a regrettable degree. Though, I gave up painting, to master the piano, when the pink twilight collides with the music, I try to turn it into a song. I do believe pink flamingo garden ornaments are a bit tacky, but not pink geraniums, ofcourse. I once had a baby pink sequined Alice and Oliva dress, that I wore to multiple events NYC, London, Los Angeles, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver and Dhaka, but I lost it somewhere along the way, and it miss it all the time.
I gave up baking, to fit into my remaining Alice and Oliva dresses, and with it, another avenue to explore the mood, manifestations, and multitudes of pink, and am not opposed to, mastering an blood orange, almond cake, to decorate with pink rose petals, or to bake Persian love cakes iced with Venus pink frosting. Of course, no one would be shocked that I have a pair of pink uggs, pink hunter boots, and pink ballet flats, to fill out the arsenal along with hoarde, of pink stilletos. I just made steak for our day after Valentine's Day dinner, making sure the middle of the steak, is streaked with an unmistakeable medium rare pink. I forced amaryllis bulbs for the first time this year and obviously I chose "apple blossom" and "gypsy queen" both appearing in gowns of white laced with subtle overlay of pink.
It's unfortunate that pepto, Barbie and pink slips forever tarnished pink, and for that they can never be forgiven, nor can miss piggy for that matter, because, everything pink is the biggest sin and mistake any pink lover can make for pink is a like salt, it enhances, and it never sugar, or cloying, or overly frilly, saccharine, or like a psychotic, pink macaron tea shop, for five year olds, rather it is like Coco Chanel, and she could never go wrong with any color, least of all pink, it is not a agent provocateur dressing room, doused in rose water, musk and oud, rather it is Jackie Kennedy, in the Chanel dress her husband was assassinated it. Not everyone knows when to stop with pink, but even more do not know how to begin. It's less pink Cadillac on the PCH or the Merritt parkway, and more a white jeep with a subtle pink bow, for one's 16th birthday present.
Pink doesn't have good PR, but it doesn't even need one, because, it doesn't have a bad reputation, like purple. I use Himalayan salt bulb lamps, all over our house, rendering a soft, cavelike and gentle glow, through the evening hours, it was my solution, as my husband drew the line with actual pink light bulbs once we married, despite my arguments regarding its more flattering illumination. Basically, pink is best as an accent, a tiny peek of a pink silk camisole, through a gray wool jacket, black sweater and jeans, with pink pearls and pink Madewell ballet slippers, or a swirl of raspberry, through a cheese cake. Pink is often used to convey a mood of romance, seduction, gentleness, healing and possibilities, but we have pink mountains and the pink sand beaches, that prove that pink can master both the land and the sea. If you want a man to propose to you, you should probably wear more pink, for it reminds him of babies, and if the timing and the outfit is right, you will soon have reasons to choose wedding colors, with its own universe of pinks. I like to dream that Matisse made pink cutouts, or Picasso had a pink period, but we had Frida Kahlo and Virginia O Keefe, who didn't withhold or deny, the brush pinks.
Pink always has a message, but sometimes it's not the one that we think it is. It also has an agenda, but is often misconstrued. No one wants to live in a pink jewelry box, and admittedly, one cannot dress as a 3 year old ballerina, all but occasionally, but one can tie their lace curtain with a ribbon of dusty pink satin, and one can wear all nudes, beiges and camel tones, with peach pink lace lingerie, no one but your husband will ever see, and your admirers can only dream of. It is devastating, when the candle you want is pink (lemonade) , but the scent you want, is in vanilla, jasmine, orange blossom, or lavender, is otherwise. I rarely wear my glasses in public, owning a single pair, in a translucent dusk pink, that makes me feel less nerdy, and yet more intellectual. I have longchamp totes, in three different shades of pink, because other than a Birken which I don't aspire to, it is the only purse, that does pink well.
I know we should drink rosé in summer, but why should summer get everything? Obviously there have been other musicians who pledged their art to this incantation of light, including Pink and Pink Martini, and surely they will not be the last. Pink is a window to another world, where there are less tears, and more love, and whether it a pink butterfly, a pink peony, a pink engagement dress or a pink candle, pink is the only color that can take away my pain.
The Heart Is Fickle
Oh but the heart is so fickle, perennially yearning for what it cannot have, and on those rare occasions, it obtains, its desire, immediately abandons it, forsaking it as carelessly, as late winter snow merging into the early spring rain. 🎶
Seeking Love
Perhaps the reason, we seek love so desperately, is because we know that love is the only thing that can change us, and therefore, also change the entire world. 🎶
Memoirs In February
I have two memoirs, in physical book form, I hope to finish, before February, passes us by; "My life with Picasso" by Françoise Gilot and "Full Tilt", by Dervla Murphy, grateful for these tomes, for helping me escape from these particular fraught, intense and uncertain times, into others, and remember that there is no other choice but to awaken to the magic, and accept the possibilities, that accompany the sad and beautiful hours, of our lives. 🎶
Early Travels
Images of new couples traveling together are so entertaining to see, because you sense the energy, mood and happiness, as they fall deeper in love, and for a moment it makes you forget your own loneliness, before it heightens it, once again. 🎶
Secrets Kept
I harbor a faint suspicion, that because, I am not taking any flights, and surfing stages, my music, is also not going anywhere, but that is only because, the music, keeps where it it goes a secret, that it only knows. 🎶
Society of Broken Hearts
Contrary to popular belief, fostered through consumptions heroines and alcoholic protagonists, in many of the romance novels and movies, of the past, surely, one truly cannot become ill, merely, because they nurse, a broken heart. Or can they? 🎶