Thomas Amory

[thethomasamory]

problematicexorcist:

Don’t know why I’ve gotta actually say this, but don’t go and make snow angels in the cemetery. No one’s gonna be impressed, and it ain’t worth freezing half to death.

Is that really a persistent problem you witness? You don’t happen to work at the cemetery or something, do you?

[thethomasamory]

wrenjekyll:

[pm] The treaty? Where is Clare I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you Um, Clare Amory signed me up. She said if I won a certain amount of fights, she’d help me with these bracelets I have on.

[pm] My sister signed you up? Huh. Claire doesn’t actually work here anymore and when she did, it was just as PR. I’m really sorry if she pulled a prank on you, it sounds like she may have. Which is... odd. She’s never been much of a joker but I guess she’s taking pranks up as a hobby lately. Anyway, as an apology, I’ll double your pay this Friday. I’m really sorry about this. 

[thethomasamory]

wrenjekyll:

[pm] Wait what is happening It’s never been on a volunteer basis for me. I’m still getting paid… right? Wait if I don’t have to do it then But I still have the bracelets on Friday night is good with me, though. IS THIS A JOKE BECAUSE I MESSED WITH CLARE

[pm] Are you sure you fought at our establishment before? The Ring? In the Bend? In Ashford River? Great! I’ll put you down for Friday, in that case. Of course you’ll be paid, don’t worry. Anyway, that’s odd you never volunteered. Because in accordance with the Treaty we can only accept volunteer fighters. You know, to make sure everything’s a formal duel and all that. Then again, I guess since bugbears aren’t a part of the whole thing, maybe it’s been different for you. Hmm. Who did you sign up with, by the way? Again, I’m real sorry for all this confusion, all my files have been shuffled around recently, I’m trying to get things back in order. 

[thethomasamory]

adrien-babineaux:

[pm] A wine launch? Really? You can’t just launch a wine like you launch a new brand of soda, unless you plan your wine to be industrial piss.

Your sister often called those cages housings but that does not mean I would have lived there. You know what, let’s go check, if you’re so sure of yourself.

[pm] Feel free to tell your boss that. I’m sure Claire will love to hear it. 

If you really want to, then fine. Let’s do it. 

[thethomasamory]

adrien-babineaux: 

[pm] Now listen you little shit  Actually it’s a decade and a half and for having spoken to Clare just a couple days ago, I can assure you that you are the one that shouldn’t be here. This is not Ashford River anymore, this is Ashkent Creek, and we do have those sort of jobs here. 

You should go to the basement. You’ll find your ‘zoo’. Just be careful with the vrykolakas.

[pm] You’d think you’d be able to spell her name right if that’s the case. What are you talking about? Why are people insisting this town is called Ashkent Creek? Look, this shit isn’t funny. You and Claire need to drop the joke and go back to planning the wine launch or whatever it is she’s working on. 

The basement has housing so there are some werewolves but no vrykolakas. Not that I know of, at least. Maybe you should have a double look. 

[thethomasamory]

adrien-babineaux:

[pm] Clare Claire doesn’t work here anymore?

My file says monster wrangler? People usually called me the Zookeeper. Just wondering, but why can’t that be my job? That is my job.

[pm] No, she doesn’t. She worked with PR and marketing for a solid two months a couple of years ago before losing interest like always. Which I’d assume you knew if you worked for her for decades. Who the fuck are you?

It’s definitely not your job because we don’t have that sort of job at the Ring. I don’t know why we’d need that anyway. There’s no zoo here. 

[thethomasamory]

quiteashocker :

…. Ashford what? I haven’t heard of that town. I’m located in Ashkent Creek. You must have the addresses confused with whereever Ashford River is located. 

I wouldn’t suggest going to Best Buy though. They over charge you for simple repairs. 

Uh, no. [Number Place Street] is definitely in Ashford River. But that’s weird. This is the second time today I’ve heard people calling the town Ashkent Creek. Is that a new thing? Did I miss a town memo?

Is that so? Like I said, I didn’t think there was an alternative in the area.

[thethomasamory]

quiteashocker:

Well, the upstairs apartment is where I live, so you might be thinking of that. I have had the shop for two years, you know. 

You have? I’ve never heard of it. I always end up driving to the Best Buy in Derry for repairs. Weird that I’ve never heard of it. And I’ve been here in Ashford River for a few years now. 

[thethomasamory]

Text @ Claire

Thomas: What is up with you?

Clare: Who's this?

Thomas: Very funny

[no response for a few hours]

Thomas: Your brother

[no response for a few hours. again.]

Thomas: Thomas

Thomas: Remember me?

Clare: No, I really don't. I don't have a brother.

Thomas: SERIOUSLY CLAIRE?

Clare: I'm blocking this number. Get out of my office. The police have been alerted.

Thomas: DON'T MAKE ME CALL MOM

Clare: Call your mother all you like I'm sure she won't help you.

Thomas: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[text not sent, user is blocked]

[thethomasamory]

Who Are You? Take Two || Solo

He had to admit, something was a little off that day. Thomas couldn’t say what, there was nothing concrete about the road signs or the pavement that he could pinpoint as he drove to the Ring that morning. Maybe it was just the weather. It was a little hazy, his mind was probably just playing tricks on him.

He’d told Mike to take the morning off, he’d drive himself today. It was always nice to get behind the wheel, have a little control over things. Take it while you can.

There was something seriously weird about the roads. Maybe it was the signs. He squinted as he drove past them. The way was still the same old drive to the Ring, nothing changed about the actual roads themselves, but the signs. They seemed different. Thomas was almost certain some of the names were completely off. Or switched. Something.

Must just be the fog. He shook it off and kept driving.

It was a nice early start to the day so of course the lot was empty when he pulled the car in. Not that it’d matter either way, that spot was always his no matter when he showed up. The perks of being the owner.

Thomas waltzed up to the door and punched in the security code. The pad beeped angrily at him. Huh, must have gone too fast and mistyped it. He punched it again and once more, glaring beeps. Third time’s a charm?

Apparently not so much.

He sighed and reached in his pockets for his keys. He didn’t need to trip off the alarms so he’d just have to use the override fob on the security system and use the key to manually unlock the door. Ridiculous. On his way to the office, Thomas furiously typed out a text to Mike to contact the security company and get this sorted out before the end of the day. He didn’t want to deal with this two days in a row.

The texting distracted him from the fact that there were other little oddities in the hallway to his office. Nothing significant, probably nothing he could have put his finger on, but it was slightly off all the same. He didn’t notice. He just went into his office. The one that was the same as always and sat down to get some work done.

He was diving head first into the latest reports on the budget when he nearly jumped out of his chair. Who the fuck was honking this early in the morning? And here? Yeah, sure they were in the Bend and it wasn’t the nicest part of town but what was that about? Thomas just shook his head and rolled his eyes and went back to work.

Not two minutes later, the door burst open and his heart was about to leap out of his chest again. Guess the budgets were going to get reviewed some other time because there was his little sister standing in the doorway. And she looked pissed.

“How dare you–” She stopped in the middle of her sentence, almost like she was surprised to see him there.

His brow furrowed. “Claire? What are you doing here?” She didn’t react. That couldn’t be good. Either she was going to lay into him about something stupid or something was really really wrong. “It’s a little early for you to be up and at ‘em,” he continued while she stood there, trying to get her to talk. Didn’t seem like it was working. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” she finally managed to speak.

Clearly that was not the right question.

“What’s wrong?” She let out a laugh of disbelief. “A stranger is in my office and you have the gall to ask me what is wrong?”

Did she just call him a stranger? Alright, now he was more than concerned. It was crossing into worry. “Claire…” he started slowly as he stood from his chair. He figured he should approach with caution, whatever the situation was. Not that he knew how to breach it but one step at a time.

“Stop that! How do you know my name? How did you get in here? Why the hell is my town car in the driveway? Where is Matthew? And what in god’s name happened to my damn office?”

She was getting damn near manic. He’d never seen his sister like this. Sure he’d seen her on the brink of crazy over stupid shit like caterers or wine labels but she never looked this serious about it before. Or about anything. This had to be some sort of joke. She had to be acting. This wasn’t her. “Look, Claire, if this is a prank, it isn’t funny. Why don’t you turn around and go ho–”

“A prank? A prank? Yes, you’re right. This is a prank. On me. And I would love to know what it is and why you’re doing it before I call security and then throw you into the fucking Ring so I can rip you and whoever you’re working with to shr–”

“That’s enough!” he shouted as he slammed his fist on the desk. He didn’t have time for her shit. Whatever she was playing at, he wasn’t going to have it. “Get out! I don’t care if you’re my sister, I have shit to do and I do not have time for your stupid little games.” He went over and started to throw her out of his office.

“What the hell? Get off of me! I don’t know who you are but I’m not your fucking sister!” He groaned in pain as she stomped on his toes. The fuck was goin on? Did she just say she wasn’t his sister? He figured she was mad at him for some stupid reason, yeah, but that was overreacting. Especially since he had way more reason to be mad at her right now.

Grumbling, Thomas ran out of the office to try and catch her. Maybe she’d drop the shit now that she got her fun in. It was juvenile, even for her, but he knew full well if he didn’t give her the attention now she’d be way worse to deal with later.

Only she wasn’t waiting for him when he got into the hall. She was booking it. And she seemed really truly scared. “Claire!” rang out down the halls. “Claire, get back here and tell me what the hell you’re playing at!”

But she didn’t turn around.

What the fuck was up with his sister?

[thethomasamory]

coverthekeyholes:

What the hell is ‘Thud’? Some kind of music piece?

I ask because there’s a concert place in the middle of town, and yes, it’s technically called the Nordica, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there before.

You’ve never heard of Thud? It’s that show where they bang on the pots and pans and trash cans and stuff and it becomes music. It’s really popular. I think it started in New York City and everything.

Yeah, the Nordica Performing Arts Center but people just call it the Nordica. It’s been there as long as I’ve been here which is a few years now. I think it was there well before that, too. Why, are you new in town? 

[thethomasamory]

deardarcycollins:

Okay. Okay let’s both relax. You haven’t heard of pigeons, I haven’t heard of Pidjeans. Because they aren’t re I’m just concerned about your lack of knowledge about the messenger bird of both world wars. You’re stressing me out.

Wait what? Where the hell is Ashford River??? D: I’m talking about Ashkent Creek. Who the hell are you?

The only messenger birds I know of are carrier crows. I know there were also carrier squirrels and carrier pidjeans used in both world wars. Never heard of pigeons ever in my life  playing a major role.

Uhh it’s the town we’re in. Right now. Ashford River. You know. This place. Right here. What’s Ashkent Creek, anyway? 

I’m Thomas Amory. And you are?

[thethomasamory]

Has anyone ever told you you look like a cat. A man cat.

Uhhh, no. I can’t say I’ve ever been told that. Sorry.

[thethomasamory]

deardarcycollins:

None of this is a joke, I’m being 100% serious. You’re the one who needs to cut it out. Pidjeans shouldn’t even be here, if anything it’s an armadillo. But they shouldn’t be here either. You can’t be telling me that those things wander the streets of cities as common as pigeons. Do little old ladies feed them seeds too? Because quite frankly they look like they’ll bite a hand off.

Maybe it’s you who doesn’t belong here. Not to be aggressive or throw you out or anything. I’m sure you’re a very nice person despite your wrong opinions. But you’re the only person I’ve spoken too who really knows what a Pidjean even is.

Well I’m not joking either. So either one of us is lying or gone out of their minds. And I’ll tell you straight up it’s not me. Pigeons aren’t a thing so of course you wouldn’t see them in a city or anywhere else. And why would old ladies feed birds? That’s such a weird thing. Does that happen in other countries or something? Because I’ve never seen that.

I’m not wrong. You’re talking a lot of nonsense over there. So don’t start telling me I don’t belong in my own town. Ashford River has always had a pretty big pidjean population so I don’t know why you’d insist otherwise unless you’re blind. You must not have spoken to a lot of people if you don’t know what one is, either.

[thethomasamory]

quiteashocker:

Why does everyone ask that

The Electronics Repair Shop located [here]. And yes, there was. They seem to think I’ve eaten some poor old lady and her assortment of cats when I’ve been here for years. 

There’s a store front there? I thought that was all residential. There’s no typo in that address, right?

[thethomasamory]

deardarcycollins:

Stop. What are you doing? You sound absolutely mental right now. Pidjean’s aren’t a real thing, if you look up pidjean in the dictionary you wont find anything. It’s nothing supernatural I’ve ever read up on either.

You know a pigeon?? they’re like fat doves that waddle around the city cooing at you. You have to have seen them before…like I don’t know New York? England? Even Toronto. This has to be a joke.

I sound mental? Really? Are you listening to yourself? You’re acting like pidjeans aren’t a thing which is crazy and talking about doves in a city. That’s completely insane. Do you also see canaries in the cities you go to? Because I’m pretty sure they’re just as common. You can drop the jokes now, alright. Not getting any chuckles over here.

You don’t happen to know my sister, do you? She was acting like she’d never seen me before. Cause if not you two should talk. You’d both probably have a lot of fun coming up with ridiculous jokes together. 

[thethomasamory]

deardarcycollins:

Um. Pidjean? No it’s pronounced Pigeon. Are you talking about those rat turtles? Now I’m confused. What are you talking about? How do you not know what a Pigeon is? They’re only the most common city bird.

Yeah, pidjeans. They’re really common. You know, kinda like squirrels, they’re sorta everywhere. I’m not sure I’d call them a rat turtle but yeah, they’re rodents. So I guess. How do you not know what a pidjean is?

Most common city bird? Do you mean a crow? Or a finch? I mean I’ve never heard anyone call either of them pigeons but I’m not exactly a bird expert.