angel of small death and the codeine scene

(penned by marcy, 22, gmt+8:00)

[userlina]

Dakota Johnson for “Bad Times at The El Royale”

[divinestrike]

one of my favourite things in the world is casual intimacy. a small hand on your back when you’re in crowded streets. a gentle kick from where they’re sitting across the table. a head on the shoulder, a hand in your hand, a squeeze on the arm as they’re walking past you. and i think maybe love isn’t made up of grand gestures or explosive displays but that it’s made up of the little things. the little things that say i’m here and i care for you and that your life has intertwined so deeply into mine that that there’s no need to think, because casual intimacy comes easy

[aebaileyofficial]

@thetracihendrix

[fairytaleasoldastime]

[aebaileyofficial]

@thetracihendrix

[thetracihendrix]

self para: and then it fades

trigger warnings: car accident

mentions: abigail bailey ( @aebaileyofficial ) and natalia marseille ( @thenataliamarseille )

where: in front of ginger muffins bakery

when: august 31st, 2020

traci managed to get out of work earlier than usual this afternoon, with her coworkers at potts promising to take the reins and look after the coffee shop. she was the one who opened the shop today and got there an hour earlier than her shift, so she was now walking to the bakery a few blocks away from where she works. she wanted to surprise abigail today with her favorite pastries, seeing how much she’s been working so hard on her thesis all week. she doesn’t understand much about her study, yet she loves it whenever the history lover talks about it, or just anything. she just learns a lot of things from the other, if you ask traci, she can just watch and listen to her talk all day about what she loves. her heart just flutter. never did she feel this with anyone else before, yes, traci did have a unique bond with natalia, but it was entirely different from this. abigail makes her heart ache, but in a good way, there’s never a second that she doesn’t think about her. abigail evelyn bailey did indeed commit the impossible and stole traci hendrix’s heart, and held on it gently, took care of traci in a way she never let anyone does.

after ordering a couple of different flavored muffins for the both of them, she decided to call for an uberpool, wondering it would be faster than the usual uber, and she doesn’t actually mind sharing with anyone. saves time, space and actually better. she immediately observes that her uberpool had picked up the people she’s sharing with first when it arrived with them at the backseat, leaving her no choice but to sit at the front. she hops in and greets the driver, setting the box of muffin on her lap and confirming her location. as she was reaching for her seat belt, she hears a honk from a speeding truck out of nowhere. before she even managed to get out of the car, it was already terribly late.

the truck already hit the back of their car and sends her flying from her seat, hitting headfirst the windshield and out of the car. it felt like the world slowed down for a minute while she was still in the air, then she finally lands on the hood. every bit of important memories for the past year started flashing before her eyes, all the good times with natalia, her second meeting with abigail, her confessing her feelings, them making things official….the rest of the world just went static, and then it just died. everything went black. where has she gone to now? was that the end? did she survive?

 ……what’s going on?

[thetracihendrix]

aebaileyofficial​:

Meek, shy, timid Abigail Bailey forming a escort-client relationship with one of the best strippers in the universe… That didn’t seem like a possibility. Something imaginable, at best. But, that’s what happened. That happened and… god, she’s so happy that it did. Traci Hendrix is exquisite, absolutely extraordinary. She is so talented in so many ways, it mesmerized her. She loved watching her as she lost herself in her art or her dancing or her latte art. Just seeing all of the things that made the older girl happy. And being able to make her happy was incredible. She truly could spend the rest of her life doing whatever it takes to make her happy. And she planned to. Over the past six months, she’s fallen so in love with her. She hasn’t been this happy in forever and she really, truly can see herself spending the rest of her life with the other brunette. Which… was why she was planning on proposing to her. She’s been working with a jeweler for a custom-made, 100% unique ring for the love of her life. She just… needs to find the right moment to propose to her.

“Always and forever, Miss Hendrix,” she cooed. Abi leaned in and rubbed their noses together, giggling. Nothing could describe how incredible the past six months have been. She has never been this happy before in her entire life. Spending time with her, living with her, loving with her: she was truly convinced that the other was her soulmate, the love of her life, her home. She use to believe that Egypt was her true home; Now she knows that her home isn’t a place, but a person. And wherever Traci goes, she knows she’ll follow. Wherever they are will be home, thanks to the barista. “A foamy titty latte would be incredible.” Her smile grew. Dark brown eyes twinkled happily, stars and hearts as she gazed up at her. “And double the special, please? I can’t help it… I need more. It’s my favourite and you are truly the best, honey.”

traci never expected that she’d get to this point in life, that she’s even going to fall in love with anyone, most importantly, a client. she’s used to be so distant with things involving feelings, used to cut off people right off the bat whenever the bomb is dropped on her. she used to not like shit like that, she thinks it would just halt her work and the flow of money coming in for her. she’s accustomed to believe that money’s the only thing that can make her happy. not until abigail came into her life and made such impact from the very moment they met. she rarely remembers that people she gives her private shows to, but not the younger girl. she was different from everyone else in a sense that she was so comfortable to perform for her, as if she already knew her for forever already. funny how time has passed, with them now living together. she cannot go on a day without seeing the history lover and her smile, without hearing her little giggle. gods....she was just the one, traci knew she’s the one for her.

“a foamy titty latte, coming up baby.” she grins, kissing her for a moment before pulling away to prepare her drink. traci learned latte art by herself ever since she started at potts, from the basic to now what she considered the funny ones, or the nsfw latte arts. it’s one of the things that triggered her to actually gain interest in the world of art, with random sketches on any random paper she could find, especially receipts. abigail is mostly the muse of her little creations. once she was done with her drink, she serves it along with a chocolate chip muffin. “of course, anything for my cheeky wittle baby. i’ll double the special--and the muffin’s on the house. okay?”

[gretagerwisg]

I don’t have any problem doing anything. The secret is I have no shame.

[latersmrsgrey]

New/old BTS videos of Dakota Johnson for Marie Claire US 2016, via Brawler Los Angeles on Vimeo x x

[thetracihendrix]

aebaileyofficial​:

From that first night when her friends paid for Traci to give her a dance at P&P Strip Club to where they are now… She truly hadn’t been expecting it. Abigail had been going through a rather confusing time when they first met, having began to develop feelings for her professor and what to do about it. The other coming into her life helped her make that decision quickly, especially that second night they met. There’d been an automatic connection with the older brunette. It was almost as if… as if they’ve always known each other in some way, shape, and form. She couldn’t explain it. All she knew, really, was that she needed the girl in her life. Six months later and now, she is completely and utterly in love with her girlfriend, whom she shares an apartment and a cat with and would frequently make videos including Traci, who’s become deeply loved by Abi’s subscribers. She truly made the right choice and she knows it.

“Your cute little baby,” she echoed with a giggle. While they’re both switches and Abigail has recently grown more into a dom role, she still loved this. Being pampered and spoiled and babied and taken care by the woman she loves. She nearly whined as she was brought back down, her lips almost pulling into a pout. Yet then she takes her hands and touches them like that and suddenly, all is right in the world. “Your cooking skills are delicious! Besides, they can’t make coffee and tea like you do. Cleo can cover the cooking, Monroe can cover the donuts, you can cover the drinks, and then you guys can all share the things that you’re all equally good at.” Pulled back behind the counter, her grin grew and brows rose. Mischief twinkled slightly in her eyes but she calmed herself down, tilting her head slightly. “Oh? Can you show me it, please? Is it… one of your fancy infamous lattes, honey?”

from the start of their relationship (meaning, the client-escort one, before these two decided to make things official between them), traci already knew that abigail would be different from her clients (when she was still an escort). she’s this smart, lovely, got this laugh the sounded like the angels from the highest heaven is whisper their tune on your ears, tiny woman. yet she’s got so much knowledge in her and traci could just listen to her talk forever about her favorite things in the world. she knew from the first time she stayed through the night that this is going to unexpectedly grow into something more. she was indeed....in love with abigail bailey, she just didn’t know it yet. she’s stayed with the younger girl a lot, most especially after her almost attack back outside at pudding and pie strip club months ago, where she took care of her after. 

“that’s right, my cute little baby. that’s what you are, miss bailey.” throughout their relationship, they’ve helped discover a lot of things about each other, traci finding and exploring her love for art with that only started with those little sketches she’s made on random receipts and abigail.....abigail’s dominant side. her looks and most importantly her height can actually fool people into thinking it was something she cannot do. though....they are very wrong about such thing. a blush forms at her cheeks at the thought of working with two of the most powerful women in town. she is a very confident woman, but the idea does give her jitters. monroe is someone she knew growing up and is now currently working with, yet with the amount of success she’s had for the past year.....god. she’s truly went through so much change, in a good way of course. cleo....she’s kind of intimidating, even though she knew her through nat’s wife, devin. but...she’s beginning to reconsider now...maybe they’ll say yes to the idea? “i guess you want a dick latte? or....the foamy titty latte?” she chuckled lightly.

[thetracihendrix]

ainsleyharterp​:

The blush is light, you have to look for it, you have to know her skin to really pick up on the tiny nerves induced rush of blood. She has no interest in pursuing Traci, but she likes that she can still make her nervous. Ainsley had a miniscule amount of things that could be called relationships to begin with, but out of all of them this one was the only one to have ended…on good terms. Neutral terms? She used to like the brunette’s innocence, her sweet predictable stability. But there comes a time when you have to either let the butterfly go be beautiful elsewhere, or suffocate it in your mason jar. Traci was better flying free.

“Of course you do.” There’s a tiny imprint of the memory of affection in her voice, mingled with moderately judgmental teasing. Traci has what everyone needs, the perfect flavor, the right advice. “Why don’t you warm the one for me, but leave the other as is.” She looks over her shoulder towards the door she’d just come in through. “You know…usually the rule of thumb is that if you aren’t open yet you keep the door locked.  Your lack of self preservation based preparation has always been concerning Traci.”

now get your shit together, traci. she thought to herself. their breakup may be mutual and they’re in good terms after that, ainsley still had the ability to make her nervous. not just because of their history together but also of the aura she gives off every single time they’re both in the same room. which now....yeah....they’re the only once in the coffee shop this time of morning. she’s not going to lie about the things that’s happened with them here, in this very place. she grins shyly at the older woman’s subtle teasing. “alright, i got you.” she takes mental note of her order with the scones, and gets her drink started first.

a light chuckle slips from her lips at the casino owner. she isn’t entirely wrong at all. “i-uh--i must’ve forgotten, i woke up a little bit later than usual this morning.” she admits to the other, glancing up at her for a moment while she was preparing her coffee. traci has always been reckless about most things, and ainsley’s one of those handful of people that’s looked a lot after her when they were together. “though....i really don’t mind getting a customer with less than ten minutes left before i open, ‘specially if it’s someone i know.”

[thetracihendrix]

aebaileyofficial​:

The girl giggled, happiness so great it was hard to explain coursing through her being. The brunette blushed as she was eyed before practically leaping up into her arms. She felt more at home in Traci’s arms than she ever has in her own apartment. The past six months have been incredible. Watching them and their relationship grow has been such an experience, the girl loving every moment of it. Of getting to be with her more and more. Of kissing her, holding her, loving her. It truly was remarkable how two girls who were so quite very different could find each other, find things they shared, and just connect with each other. Getting to love Traci, getting to fall in love again and getting to be in love with the barista, was truly the greatest thing to happen to her.

Gazing up at her lovingly with an enchanted dazed smile, arms loosely wrapped around her neck and legs around her waist, she completely forgotten where they were. Were they at Potts still? Did they somehow teleport back to their apartment? Were they in Egypt or France or Peru? Were they even still on Earth? She wasn’t sure. The only thing she was so sure about, was Traci. “It’s okay, honey- at least you’re in my arms now.” Abigail kissed the tip of her nose softly then the bridge of her nose. “Excellent, as always. You, Monroe, and Cleo should form a business together and create a new restaurant or cafe. Breakfast food and donuts and coffees and teas all day, every day. I might be on to something here, honey.”

meeting abigail for the first time....traci didn’t expect that they’ll be where they are right now. she’s always believed that she won’t be in a relationship that would last a lifetime, or she’d be able to open up to whoever her significant other with him. she knew this with ainsley, both women never really told each other much things, which caused them to just end things as time went by. with the younger girl right now....she just knew she couldn’t lose her, just the thought of it was already painful and she’d rather not think about it. with the history lover, she learned a lot about herself even more, discovered other things that she could do outside of being a barista and a performer. she truly did bring out the best in her.

“nope, you’re in my arms, you cute little baby.” the older girl giggles before she returns her gesture, pecking on the tip of her nose. there’s just something about the twinkle in her eyes that makes traci’s heart skip like it’s always the first time she gets to see it. she puts abigail down and holds hands with her, circling her thumb softly against her palm. she shakes her head lightly at her words. “baby, my cooking skills are average compared to monroe and cleo’s, they’re both top tier!” she takes the other with her behind the counter. “you know what i do make best though?” she wiggles her eyebrows at the other.

[thetracihendrix]

wwwonderland​:

pulling all-nighters was an almost accident where she was concerned. kitty felt more creative and energized come the evening, and thus far most of her art projects had started well into the night. it was early in the morning when she decided to skip sleep altogether and just power through the day. if her old therapist heard about this, she would find herself back in between padded walls in no time. sleep deprivation was one of the many first steps into madness known to man, wasn’t it? but kitty didn’t mind walking the line between sanity and the fun stuff.

throwing a jacket over her striped pajamas and slipping into combat boots, she made her way over to potts coffee shop for a quick morning caffeine fix. things don’t end right until you start them right. “good morning.” kitty grinned at the barista’s back and the refreshing, completely ordinary greeting she received from her. “it’s a coffee emergency. i’ll take your biggest coffee order. no rush though, i can wait until you’re actually open, no problem.”

for the number of years she’s already worked at potts, traci could already identify the type of customer this woman could possibly be. people who are nocturnal, more functional at nights than during the day. she could say that she can relate, but she knew people would say different. she’d be up all night and sleep before the sun rises up, wake up a few hours later to work at the coffee shop, then she goes catch up on sleep in the afternoons before she comes to work at pudding and pie. regardless of the busy schedule, traci makes sure she’s got a day off and she gets to spend it with her girlfriend.

“well, i know a few basic things that could help you, but you have to help me narrow them down so i can get exactly what you like.” traci swipes her hands on her apron again. “so, do you prefer hot or cold drinks? uhm...cream or no cream? because i’m going to give you something that’s going to kickstart something in you that’s going to last for hours.” she chuckles. “we can spend the last few minutes thinking about this coffee order before i officially open.”

[thetracihendrix]

claratinker​:

       good nights at pudding & pie always deserved a latte in the morning, i mean, bad nights still got her one but that was beside the point. after getting home from the club a few hours prior the blonde didn’t even change, just bumped a couple lines and headed back out on the town. the streets were quiet, it was nice. after some wandering hours, the blonde found herself at potts. fuck yes coffee. pulling open the door she went up to the counter, placing her chin in her hand before pulling up her sunglasses. reminents of the nights glitter still dusted her eyes and cheeks, as she smiled at the other. “hey babes, as much as i would love vodka on the rocks i’m going to have to go with a vanilla latte with oat milk, please and thank you.” clara said batting her eyes dramatically. “oh and a muffin too!”

a light chuckle leaves traci’s lips at her order. she immediately noticed the night before still enveloping the blonde, and that she hasn’t had any kind of rest yet. sometimes the barista herself wondered how she’s still able to function like this with the schedule she’s got, but she’s actually doing what she loves, so that may be one of so many reasons (besides caffeine) that she’s always up and running. “we don’t have vodka, but we do have vanilla latte with oat milk for you, beebs.” she cackles as she enters her order on the register. “blueberry, banana or chocolate? don’t ask me which one is better, because i’m biased when it comes to that. i love the banana muffin though.”

[thetracihendrix]

aebaileyofficial​:

Of course, she knew Traci’s schedule by this point. Has learned it by heart now. But still, that doesn’t change the fact that it always breaks her heart whenever she wakes and not get to have her in her arms. Which then leads to the good part: getting ready so that she can go down to Potts and see her. Fortunately, she still has another week before school starts and she isn’t suppose to film a new video today, so she is free to choose whatever she wants to do. The very first thing? To see Traci. To get to go down to the coffee shop and bring a book with her, to try and read up on some subject on history just to end up gazing at the woman who’s captured her heart. It was part of her daily routine now.

After eating the delicious breakfast the barista made for her, taking a quick shower and getting dried, curling her hair softly, putting on some light makeup, and getting a cute yet still casual outfit, she made her way down to the coffee shop. The tiny brunette couldn’t help the beaming smile on her face, growing so excited. She always felt like a kid on Christmas whenever it comes to the older brunette. She just sparked her with so much joy and excitement and happiness. She hasn’t been this happy since her ex. Getting to feel this kind of happiness again… especially with someone as wonderful as Traci Hendrix… It felt so miraculous.

Walking in, her dark eyes twinkled as she saw the other and heard her voice. God, she could listen to her voice for the rest of her life. She loves hearing her speak so much. “Hi! I was wondering if I could perhaps get the special, with extra hugs and kisses? Please?”

traci’s life had definitely turned around the moment abigail came into her life. so much has changed between the two of them for the past couple of months, more than half a year if she was keeping track of the time. she used to be very much closed off to everyone except a handful of them. it used to be just natalia and her other close friends, and eventually the history lover just wiggled herself easily into that list, which was scary for the barista at first. she was just supposed to be her client as they’ve initially agreed, but something else bloomed during their relationship and it’s just....the rest was indeed history for traci hendrix and abigail bailey.

seeing her walk up to the counter immediately brought a smile to traci’s face. “good morning, baby.” she grins at the other, eyeing her and how she never fails on looking so fucking adorable every time. that cute smile that really caught her heart tripping whenever she sees it, she just always makes her so excited. “ah, the miss bailey special, on my secret menu. of course, yeah.” she giggles, walking around the counter to hug the younger woman, slightly lifting her in her arms. “sorry i had to leave without waking you up, you just look so cute in your sleep--well you always are, but you do get my point.” she shakes her head to herself. “how was breakfast?”

[thetracihendrix]

dxathamongus​:

Orrey’s inability to sleep was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, in a town that told him he was supposed to be home by 10PM, it made for a lot of really boring nights if he was in the mood for following the rules. And on the nights he decided against it, things started to slow down thanks to other goodie-two-shoes who decided to follow the rules. On the other hand, it meant that he was often the first one on the road in the morning when all the morning rides and orders started to slowly flow in. People on their way to work, or who were just too lazy to make themselves breakfast. Fortunately, regardless of the reason, he found a reason to show up a Potts. He’d never admit it was for his own desperate need for caffeine, but he didn’t have to. Orders from DoorDash came at all sorts of crazy hours of the night with or without a curfew. 

He’d decided it was probably best to wait in his car, give the woman an opportunity to actually get a pot brewing before making his way inside. Unfortunately, Orrey’s sense of “giving her time” related to all of about 4 minutes before he was sitting inside, waiting patiently for her to acknowledge him. “It’s all good. These assholes can wait.” He said, trying to make a joke as he made a note of the DoorDash bag that hung loosely against his hip. He was lying. He hadn’t even actually received an order, but he’d been there enough, that she’d figure it out when he ordered his usual. 

“Oh shit. This is always the hard part.” He sighed as he looked over the menu, acting as though he wasn’t entirely a creature of habit. “You know what, I’m going to have to go with a Caramel frap with extra whipped cream,” Orrey said as if the order itself didn’t make him seem like he was 16. He pulled out his phone, just to make sure he hadn’t legitimately gotten an order before returning his gaze to the menu. “And do you have any croissants? They definitely want some croissants. Part of that daily routine you know?” He teased as if this hadn’t become a regular thing ever since he’d picked up the job. 

traci almost jumped at his voice, then lets out a giggle at his words. “good morning to you, too, orrey. yeah....they have to wait, it’s going to be a one-woman band for an hour until the just of the bandmates comes in.” she didn’t mind being alone behind the counter to serve for at least an hour before her the rest of her coworkers, potts doesn’t get that much busy at this hour, and she enjoys taking the reins by herself. and given her work schedule, people has wondered a lot about how she still gets the rest she needs, some sleep. she wonders the same thing herself, but she’s always had this energy whenever she gets to do the things she likes very much.

“yep, the hardest part. sometimes it gets awkward between me and the customer, because sometimes they’d look at me with this help me stare.” she chuckles, shrugging at the other. “caramel frappe--ugh, you know, i love that one so much. definitely what i get whenever i cry for something sweet.” she takes a cup and glances up at him. “so what should i put on the cup?” she asks as if she doesn’t know his name. “oooohhhh croissants, yeah, yeah we do! so....tuna or ham and cheese?”

[thetracihendrix]

ainsleyharterp​:

She’s not a fan of the chipper trilling of bells. The coffee shop is too homey, too decorated like a middle class grandma’s living room. But the lattes are good and the scones are even better. A girl needs a proper breakfast before taking over the world. “What are a few simple minutes between friends,” she answered, a wickedly gleeful edge to her voice. It’s not that she feels animosity towards Traci, the breakup was about an amicable as these things could be for Ainsley. She hadn’t destroyed a single one of Traci’s belongings in a temper fueled. “We used to be able to accomplish a lot in just a few minutes.” The words followed by a wink. She could never quit unsink her claws from other people, to remind them the hold she had over them at one point.

Ainsley invited herself to head over to the register, leaning against one of the bake cases and perusing the menu. “My sweet tooth is screaming this morning. Be a dear and whip me up something sure to give me at least five cavities? Do you have any of those savory herbed scones today?”

“o-oh, hey--morning, ainsley.” it’s been some time, but the woman still never failed to make traci nervous, but in a way that’s not like before. she used to make her nervous in a exhilarated kind of way, but now....she couldn’t even think of the right word at the moment. they’ve broken up on good terms, realizing that it wasn’t working for the both of them and there’s a lot more things. what they had was just a memory for her now, though, they aren’t really the bad kind. both women just.....didn’t know much about each other. it takes a lot in the barista to even open herself to anyone, yet that isn’t the case lately with abigail. however, she would be such a liar if she denied that she cherished what she and ainsley had. “yeah....yeah...a lot.” a chuckle leaves her lips as she shakes her head at the other.

“five cavities? i know just the thing.” she immediately takes a cup and puts ainsley’s name on it, before getting on the register. she’s on double duty today, since her coworkers won’t be around in at least an hour. “yeah, we have those. want me to warm them up for you?” she says as she moves away from the register to start making the woman’s drink.

[thank-god-im-a-lesbian]

[thetracihendrix]

@aebaileyofficial

[thetracihendrix]

well. fuck. traci’s got an hour left. it’s her turn to open potts coffee shop today. she had a long night at pudding and pie, got home almost four in the morning. as much as it pained her to leave the bed without abigail waking up to her. she had to be there or she’s going to be fucked. the barista got ready in less that thirty minutes, made sure that she’s already had coffee brewed for the younger girl and her breakfast when she wakes up, before almost sprinting to her place of work, which luckily isn’t far from where they live.

she got there fifteen minutes earlier before she was supposed to open, still a lot of time for her to set up. she quickly heads to the back and puts her apron first before setting up the tables and chairs. of course, she had music on. it helps her do her work smoothly, keep track of things more. she was just behind the counter, tying her hair up in a messy bun, her back facing the doors when she hears the bell ring, telling her that someone just came in.

“we still have a few minutes left--but good morning, welcome to potts coffee shop.” she wipes her hands against her apron before turning to someone who she would’ve guessed their first customer of the day. “what can i get you?”