The Tumbling Cow

I'm just making it up as I go along.

[thetumblingcow]

Generally stressed out about my life!

[thetumblingcow]

Time continues, feelings still hurt

[thetumblingcow]

Crouching tiger, hidden resentment~

[thetumblingcow]

Got too turnt, entered a shame pit

[thetumblingcow]

Twenty Three

Days Later and I am employed again, that’s nice! 

[thetumblingcow]

Second

Round of interviews today and I’m kind of shitting my pants again.  Stressful! 

[thetumblingcow]

Day 5

Of being unemployed.  Am very bored now! 

[thetumblingcow]

Oh I have a Tumblr

Only anxiety memes now

Life’s going great. 

Still stressed and anxious tho! 

[thetumblingcow]

It was ironic I posted this when I did because then I got laid off and that really ramped shit up and made this post much more sarcastic!  Weeeeeeeee

[thetumblingcow]

Oh I have a Tumblr

Only anxiety memes now

Life's going great. 

Still stressed and anxious tho! 

[thetumblingcow]

A tale of two me’s:

Impulsive me: “Just get the car. Get it. You want it. You can pay for that in a month. Do itt.” Adult me: “No. No. No. No. No. No. Not today.”

[thetumblingcow]

And then

excitement and relief washes over me like a wave. 

[thetumblingcow]

I wish I was deep and intriguing

But I’m definitely just bitchy and awful. 

[thetumblingcow]

Gonna write a text post so I look busy at work.

Man. 

I don’t feel good.

Lots of internal trembles and shakes.  It doesn’t help that I’ve learned that I will definitely not have a job in a week and that’s pretty shitty. I also don’t know yet how well I did in my other interview. I feel optimistic, but I’ve felt optimistic about things in the past and didn’t get those things either. 

Indeed would be a pretty solid job--there are a ton of perks and the environment is real sweet. Blegh. The disappointment of not getting it will be real. Or maybe I’ll be surprised again. Who fucking knows. I sure as fuck don’t. 

I don’t have any smoke at home since Saturday and it’s pretty bullshit too. I wish I had a connect, but alas, I don’t,  Too much stress. Always stressed. Gah.  It’s like that light at the end of the tunnel is kind of bullshit, because you’ll always see the light, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to reach the light or even get close to the light. I feel incapable of unwinding. 

[thetumblingcow]

6 Hour interview in 2 hours.

*throws up violently everywhere*

[thetumblingcow]

All day interview next Monday

*throws up everywhere*

[thetumblingcow]

It’s fucking stupid

Like.  Okay.  >Sees video that mentions a neighborhood home town place, video is of a big fucking red tailed boa >”Okay.” *click* >Caption: “ Raceland areas please watch your small children and pets this was seen on the service road” >”Mrrrrrrmhrhr,,,comments...?”

Mind you, this is deep south, “I am a 65 year old woman trying to be trendy on FB”, “I graduated high school and I’m a southern housewife” bullshit people commenting on this. I should have expected less really, but I was looking for someone informed in the most bare minimum way. The bar was set REALLY low. . I mean, it’s a fucking red tail boa. If a ton of people have seen this (it had two shares on FB), then someone must have been at least half as smart to be like “Hurr, that’s a red tailed boa”. I feel like “pet snake” knowledge is common? Right? Maybe? Just me? 

Okay, anyway.  >Snake is obvious like, 10ft >Lady (OP) says it was 300lbs? “Uh..” *maths?* >Says husband couldn’t get it out of the road/ditch “Not strong man? Or scared man? HRMMM” >Tons of “should have killed it/shot it, etc”  >rage washes over me  Ultimately, gets stoned and just writes a tumblr post. 

[thetumblingcow]

It’s always good

to really start hating yourself before you have something important to do and need confidence for.