Bitches are not, in fact, shit. @theukofawesome - Tumblr Blog

theprideful-deactivated20251201

Harley Quinn + emojis

yall dont know this so i need to inform yall that I’m being commissioned for a frankly wild budget for just the word penis and im so many hours deep into this thing and i think I’ve gone a touch mental and a definite amount of blasphemous with this thing I’ll post an update with a picture when i have the lineart done

earhartsease

“So many hours deep” is a phrase that the 12 year old in me is really keeping a straight face about let me tell you

theshitpostcalligrapher

bro that was on purpose I’ve crammed just a wild fucken amount of dick jokes into this thing, alas the bird ended up looking more phoenix than rooster but what are ya gonna do, here’s the lines

its 4am so i need to pass out but colors are going on this thing tomorrow

roseofhybrids

An ancient wizard leads his young apprentice to the very back of his tower’s library. While stroking his long grey beard, he pulls a roll of paper from a lock box.

“This, young mage, is the most mysterious scroll any magic user has ever come across. It was summoned to this land from another plane of existence, for centuries we have been trying to decipher its meaning…”

The apprentice carefully unrolls the ancient scroll, marveling at its beauty and ornate design.

“…This just says “penis”…“

“NO! It says sᴉuǝd! It’s an ancient word from a long forgotten language that we are yet to decipher! Just for that you’ll be scrubbing every single cauldron till they’re spotless!”

theshitpostcalligrapher

listen im fucken dying laughing at the imagery of this

theshitpostcalligrapher

So I have an update. I got permission from the commissioner to scan through the piece and do it up as a print design, so that’ll be ready in a week or so.

Second, here’s the piece completed.

thoughts?

theshitpostcalligrapher

#thoughts:#my mom immedietly asked if there were prints available

listen I am working on it im still three commissions in the hole re: my work schedule

theshitpostcalligrapher

I KNOWE I MADE A POST UPDATE ABOUT THIS ON THE HOLIDAY SALES POST BUT IT FELT INCOMPLETE IF I DID NOT ADD IT HERE TOO

BUT THE PRINTS ARE LIVE GO N GET EM WHILE THEY’RE ON SALE

(yes the gold on each print you see, the shiny parts? those’re done by hand)

the-haiku-bot

(yes the gold on each

print you see, the shiny parts?

those’re done by hand)

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

3countylaugh

Re-tumbled for the haiku honestly… (I would be asleep.)

theshitpostcalligrapher

oh is THAT why this is getting notes again?

(they aren’t on sale anymore btw but you can still buy em)

notorious-posts

seblester

(Rude) note to self.

killue

parkerpete

Tom Holland on The Graham Norton Show

willowcrowned

just learned that coke as in coca-cola as in the famous carbonated soda is canon in star wars and frankly I am upset

willowcrowned

@jetiisse pointed out that the existence of Coca Cola in Star Wars implies the existence of real, actual, honest-to-god space cocaine, which means that not only does spice (fake space cocaine) exist, but it is in direct competition with coke (real space cocaine)

willowcrowned

of all the countless products to make canon for the advertising deals, they had to choose the one that implied the existence of actual cocaine in Star Wars

universeofmemes

ruinedchildhood

nerdadventcal

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

lucianite

Because Clark is awesome and loves christmas.

bizarrodf

remember that time we learned clark kent is a grown man who still believes santa exists

antifamutant

He’s an alien and a superhero who knows other superheros in a world with a talking telepathic Gorilla, ofc he believes, anything is game.

theoriginalcrazyferelden

Thats because Father Christmas/Santa Claus totally DOES exist in the DC universe, and every year, without fail, Santa fights through Apokolips’ defenses just to give a lump of coal to Darkseid.

hesaidsidhesaid

He W H A T

chessys

quiet down everyone its being sad time

adeles

“It was because of my anxiety. Working out, I would just feel better. It was never about losing weight, it was always about becoming strong and giving myself as much time every day without my phone. I got quite addicted to it. I work out two or three times a day. People are shocked because I didn’t share my ‘journey’. They’re used to people documenting everything on Instagram, and most people in my position would get a big deal with a diet brand. I couldn’t give a flying f**k. I did it for myself and not anyone else. So why would I ever share it? I don’t find it fascinating. It’s my body. People have been talking about my body for 12 years. They used to talk about it before I lost weight. But yeah, whatever, I don’t care. You don’t need to be overweight to be body positive, you can be any shape or size. You know a hundred per cent of the stories written about me have been absolutely fake. The people that came out being like, ‘I trained her,’ I’ve never met in my life. It’s disgusting. I cannot get over it. Some Pilates lady I’ve never met in my life! And I haven’t done any diet. No intermittent fasting. Nothing. If anything I eat more than I used to because I work out so hard. And also, that whole thing of like, ‘Gets Revenge Body’… Oh my god. Suck my dick!” she yells into the empty museum. “It’s ridiculous. I think it’s that people love to portray a divorced woman as spinning out of control, like, ‘Oh she must be crackers. She must’ve decided she wants to be a ho.’ Because what is a woman without a husband? It’s bullshit.”

ADELE photographed by Steven Meisel for BRITISH VOGUE (November 2021)