The Bowery Presents
h
untitled
titsay
Color Me Curious
Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
Doug Jones
No title available
$LAYYYTER
The Bright Sessions
oozey mess
Fai_Ryy
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Love Begins
sheepfilms
ellievsbear
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
seen from Australia
seen from France
seen from Malaysia
seen from India
seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
seen from Australia
seen from Colombia
seen from India
seen from Brazil
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from New Zealand
seen from Brazil
@theunbrokenmckinnon-blog
“ excuse me.” Andromeda cleared her throat awkwardly. “ you haven’t seen my blue cat around by any chance, have you?”
Marley turned around at the sound of her voice and shook her head slightly. “Sorry, I haven’t, but I also haven’t seen my cat in a while.”
“ wait!” James called out awkwardly and jogged in order to keep up with the other. “ so, was the party a succes or was the party a succes? don’t lie to me now, mate.”
Marley slowed down a bit to allow him to catch up with her, shrugging her shoulders at his question. “You know, I have been to better parties than that one, so it probably was a success.”
“How can I ever turn down a request that irresistible? It’s hours of entertainment, after all. I’ll be sure to get you plenty of time to toy with them however you please.”
"I don’t know, but you should definitely mark it down us unstructured freetime just so that it leaves me with room for creativity.”
Character Edit [1/??]: Marley’s Instagram feat. Mary & Lily
"I have an alarming number of cat pictures on my phone.”
“I would schedule in mischief, if that makes you feel any better about the prospect. Just consider it. It’s your last year, after all. Might as well at least pretend to have it all together, right?”
"Then yes, of course you can try and schedule out my days as long as you leave enough room for me to piss off Potter or Black. I can at least pretend, not sure how many people will believe it, but I’ll try.”
“Fair enough - if that happens, just make sure to protect me from the merpeople, all right? I’d hate to die on my first night back. I think getting Lily to join us would be the best outcome, but that may be aiming a bit too high.”
"I think I can manage that, I think a few of them might have a crush on me from all that time I spent down her last year. If they know you’re a friend of mine, they’ll probably leave you alone. Yeah, you might be right, I think she has better things to do than babysit our drunk asses.”
❝Remind me again why I agreed to let you make a drink for me?❞
"You saw me and thought, 'hey, Marley might be good at making drinks,’ but you were wrong, very very wrong.”
“Oh come on, poker is the beeest way to past time at parties. We can even go shot for shot every time we ante up.” What she didn’t say was that her shots were probably going to be water half of the time; how else was she supposed to keep the galleons they were betting in her own pile? The saying was survival of the fittest, not survival of the drunkest, after all.
"It’s the best sober way to pass time at a party, but I’m far, far, far from that. Plus, if I take any more shots you’re probably going to have to carry me back to the castle.” Normally, Marlene would be willing to play any kind of game, especially ones for money, but it being the first day back, she didn’t want to run the risk of losing all of her savings. She could only imagine the hollower she would get from her parents if she lost it all.
[drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH
[text --> Alecto]: Well, then you’re going to miss out on a lot of quality selfies and pictures of cats[text --> Alecto]: so it really is your loss
[text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that.
[text --> Lily]: I’m sorry! it happened one, two times top! [text --> Lily]: I promise that I won’t die in the bath tub, at least, I’ll try not to
[text] Be careful.
[text --> Sybbie]: When am I not careful?[text --> Sybbie]: Wait, nevermind, I’m never careful, but I’ll try this time [text --> Sybbie]: Before I do this, you would tell me if something bad was going to happen, right?
“Unfortunately no, I really don’t. It’s always worth a shot, though, right?”
"I mean, if anyone could even begin to try and schedule out the things that I do, it would probably be you. It’s not like anyone else would truly understand the amount of dumb things I manage to do.”
more texts for you bitches
ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE
LOVING TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day
SEXY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH
[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE
“If you’d just let me make you a schedule, you’d find there’s plenty of free time if you just plan properly.”
"I feel like a lot of my choices would end up messing with your schedule. Do you really think I’m predictable enough to schedule things for?”
“I’m not perfect, but I don’t like getting detention. There are much better things to do with my time.”
"Hey, detention can be fun, it gives me a chance to get all of my potions homework done. I wouldn’t know much about free time, I’m either in detention or quidditch practice, so not a lot of time to follow the rules.”
“If you stay or if you go, I’m right there with you.”
“I would love to say that I plan on making it until at least eleven before I’m drunk, but if I’m being completely honest I’ve already had a few shots. If I get to the point where I try and jump in the lake, please stop me, yeah?”
"I’ll try my best, but when your drunk you can be pretty convincing. For all I know, I’ll probably end up jumping into the lake with you, but we should probably get Lily to babysit us so we don’t do anything stupid.”
