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@theunstable-vanity-blog
Well, after an extensive search - I've finally found it.
Just the girl I’ve been missing. Within the week, actually. Though, it’ll be more of other people moving for me instead of me actually moving. But, whatever. You should let me take you on a grand tour, love. And we can christen the place a little, if you know what I mean.
That sounds just great, love. The tour sounds good too.
Well, after an extensive search - I've finally found it.
The home in which I plan to live out the rest of my life. It’s a brilliant estate, really. Beautiful grounds. Honestly, I’m just itching to throw a rager soon.
When do you move, love?
The house is always so quiet
Sleeping isn’t any more entertaining than anything else. And I can say that I’ve done enough drinking to know that the after effects aren’t worth it. Maybe I’ll get a job just for the sake of something to do. If anyone will hire me.
I get the feeling all you do is moan about how unfair your life is instead of actually doing anything to change it.
The house is always so quiet
It’s only that I’ve exhausted my ability to come up with ideas on what to do. I can only sit still and read for so many hours. Wandering around town aimlessly isn’t very stimulating either.
Okay, let me rephrase this for you. Do something fun instead of moaning. If reading and walking isn't entertaining to you - or anybody else for that matter - do something that does entertain you. Have a drink, go to sleep, anything but moan.
The house is always so quiet
What a capital suggestion. How did I not think of that?
Yet here you are still moaning about being bored instead of doing something.
The house is always so quiet
It’s dreadfully boring.
Do something instead of moaning then.
Finally, the house to myself.
You clearly don’t know Bella as well as you think you do, Em. Either that or you’re lying to yourself.
Loves being a mother? Loves the attention, s’more like it. Raiding a wine cabinet, feels like fourth year all over again. Look forward to it, I’ll be right over.
Oh, please enlighten me with what is so hard to do with Bella around.
Exactly what I said. Hurry up.
Finally, the house to myself.
Oi! I don’t do exactly what I used to. I do it but with Bella ‘round 24/7. Much more difficult, lemme tell you.
Well, if you’re making me take time out of my very important day to come over, then you should supply the booze. I’ve taken your booze my whole life, why on Earth would I stop now?
All you do is sleep, drink and have sex. How is that hard to do with Bella there? One of those activities include her.
You're impossible. Just come over, we'll raid my mothers wine. She can't drink anyway. Oh, yeah, by the way, my mothers gone and got herself knocked up because she apparently loves being a mother. Who knew?
Finally, the house to myself.
Don’t act so surprised, married life’s quite taxing. And why should I bring booze? You’re the one inviting me over, aren’t you?
Oh, yes, I can see how much effort it would take to do exactly what you used to do before but with a ring on your finger. Honestly, have a holiday and relax.
Because you owe me, moron. And no, I'm telling you to come over. Inviting you would mean you have a choice, and you don't.
Finally, the house to myself.
Enjoy being at home? Well, I s’pose there’s a first time for everything.
Is that... Is that Rodolphus Lestrange? Merlin, I should call off the search party.
Come over, bring booze.
Finally, the house to myself.
I can enjoy being home at last.
“If you don't receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.”
Thursday, June 6th.
Secrets.
When it came to her parents, she'd dealt with them a lot. There was always something to hide with them, sometimes she was the one that was being hidden if she was going through one of her bad times.
Secrets.
It was such an odd word to be associated with a family. With a father, mother and their children. There shouldn't be anything to hide. And yet, in this day... in this age there was always something to hide.
And whatever they were hiding now was serious.
She couldn't explain how she knew, she just knew. Ever since she'd arrived home nothing had been right... hushed conversations between her parents, Healer's visiting the house everyday. Maybe karma's finally come around and dad's dying. Emma thought to herself, and instantly winced, regretting the thought. As much of a cunt as he may be, and as much as she should hate him - hell, her boyfriend hated him - she just... couldn't.
Sitting up on her bed, with a sigh she pushed herself off, brushing imaginary dust off of her leggings as she exited her bedroom, slowly walking towards her parents room. They hadn't left today, not once. What was unusual, especially since her father was only home for a full day a few times a year. Honestly, someone would think he hated his family.
Slowly raising a knuckle to knock on the door, she waited for the sharp call of 'come in, and make it quick' from her father. Grimacing, she opened the door and stepped inside, smiling politely.
"Mother, father." she began, her eyes travelling from her mother who lay on the bed, and her father who sat at the desk. "I, uh... just came to let you know that Amycus will be joining us on our, uh, family holiday..."
"Is he now?" her father simply replied, and Emma stifled a sigh as she bit on her lower lip.
"I'd uh... be grateful if he could."
"You two are serious, I presume?"
"Um... I... s'pose... is that relevant to this holiday?"
"No, but it's necessary for me to know."
"Why? Emma asked, regretting the question as soon as it had left her mouth.
"Well, firstly - I'd like to know when my daughter is whoring around with an arranged man. Secondly - you're irresponsible, Emma. Always have been, hopefully won't always be. You're reckless, you look for anything that can give you a buzz. And that includes sex. And as much as grandchildren are expected from you... at this age, while you're unmarried, I can't have you in your mothers position, it'll look bad on the family."
Blinking, Emma raised an eyebrow. "Whoring around with an arranged man? That's what you think of your daughter?" She opened her mouth to argue her side when something occurred to her and left her gaping like a fish. "What position is mother in?" she asked, looking between the two. "What're you hiding from me?"
"We're not hiding anything, Emma. We just... we thought you'd of guessed." her mother replied, frowning slightly.
"Guessed what? How could I guess anything? I've seen you all of five times since I got home. And the longest one was for dinner. And nobody spoke. Because this family doesn't communicate. Now what are you hiding, mother?"
"Don't use that attitude with me, young lady. And I'm pregnant."
The words echoed through her head, making her blink several times as a bomb seemed to go off in her stomach and the sudden urge to vomit surfaced. "What?" she snapped, her head snapping from side to side. Suddenly, she remembered her mother mentioning wanting another child, but Emma never thought it'd happen. "Are you absolutely mental? You two can't have another child. Have you not learnt from Damien and Brenton?"
"Learnt what exactly? Why are you so upset, you love being a sibling. You were the most distraught over Brenton and Damien."
"I love being sister." Emma said simply, "But I hate being a daughter. Just like Cilia will, just like Brenton and Damien hated being a son, and just like this child will. I love you both, as much as I shouldn't, I do. And usually I wouldn't talk back like this because it would just end me up in hospital. I cannot let this happen." Emma took a deep breath, shaking her head. "You've had four children and two of them are in graves, and ended up resenting you. As much as I love you, I resent you. And your other child, your youngest... she's too young to resent you, but she's scared off you instead. Scared to say something you like. That's how you parent, you parent on fear and as a consequence you drive your kids away. And you want to bring another child into this family? Into this broken family?" Emma tilted her head to the side, trying to gather her thoughts. "I watched Damien die. Right in front of me he died. I came home to Brenton's corpse. And it fucking destroyed me. There's a war, mother. That's not the right time to expand a family. If you and father die, whose going to look after the child? Because, mother, your mother won't. She has stated the only grandchild she'd ever look after is Cilia. And father, your mother is in her ninety's and won't be able to look after her. So, Cilia's fine, but what about this child? My brother or sister?"
"Well, you're the oldest..."
"Me? Don't you get it, ma. I watched Damien die in front of me, I came home to Brenton's corpse. If any other family member dies I'm going to break again, but this time I'm not going to be able to move on."
"This baby is going to happen." her mother said calmly.
"You can't fucking replace Brenton or Damien, stop fucking trying!" in the back of her mind she knew that was the only reason she didn't want a sibling. It wasn't about the war, or the bad parenting. But merely that her brothers couldn't be replaced... that she couldn't get that attached to someone she wasn't already attached too. Shaking her head, she turned to grab the door handle but stopped and look her father dead in the eye.
"Oh, and I'm not Amycus's whore. I love him. Just because you two can't feel that emotion, doesn't mean I can't."
Hogsmeade is a rather boring place to stay.
Ah, yes…I mean, I am.
Storm.... why do you want to stay in a pub when you know you could stay with any of us?
Hogsmeade is a rather boring place to stay.
M’grateful for the job at the pub and all but… Merlin, some creepy people come in here.
You're not staying in Hogsmeade.
A few years ago everything was so different.
Not recently, but I could do with a bit of reminding…
Well I've really really missed you.
A few years ago everything was so different.
A little exploring of our own sounds fucking brilliant.
Have I told you how much I've fucking missed you?
A few years ago everything was so different.
It’ll do her some good to explore a bit on her own…
Speaking of exploring, I think we should do some of our own.
