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@thevtbanker

142 posts

“of all the weapons you fight with, your silence is most violent’ (your choice of any Ryan muse)

"Now, Egg Boy," The Banker starts speaking slowly, cautiously. "I assure you nothing about my silence is violent.

Oh god, he was onto him. This was it. His biggest secrets unravelled by (Vine voice) a child. Then again, maybe because he was a child he wouldn't know, wouldn't catch it.

"What would make you say such a thing?"

Egg Boy, being a child, had already been slightly distracted. “I don’t know,” he said in a bored kid’s voice. He peered over the edge of the bank counter, standing on what would be the baby carrot equivalent of tippy-toes. “Do you have any cool games back there? Can I go behind your counter and look at all the money? Where did you get your hat? Did you have to order it, or did someone give it to you? Do all bankers wear hats?”

The Banker huffed out happily, an emotion he was not accustomed to. "No cool games, I'm afraid." It's true, he was afraid, almost always. That was the trouble with being A Banker. There was always something to be afraid of. Something to be afraid of everyone finding out.

"Well, my specific branch of Bankers... this hat was passed down from generation to generation."

“of all the weapons you fight with, your silence is most violent’ (your choice of any Ryan muse)

"Now, Egg Boy," The Banker starts speaking slowly, cautiously. "I assure you nothing about my silence is violent.

Oh god, he was onto him. This was it. His biggest secrets unravelled by (Vine voice) a child. Then again, maybe because he was a child he wouldn't know, wouldn't catch it.

"What would make you say such a thing?"

honesty hour - how many rugs do you own?

"On any given day? 4-7."

What’s like, your deal? Outside of normal banking or whatever

"I am from a long, long line of Bankers. I wear the name proudly. It is all I know."

❛ what do you want? you can tell me. ❜ from Jerry

No. He couldn't. He daren't tell anyone. The things that happened to and with a Banker were to stay to and with a Banker. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like?"

"Oh!" Jerry smiled. "I want a credit card. Yeah, credit card. Big limit."

"How... big of a limit?" The Banker spoke both cautiously and curiously, just as he had learned at The Banking Academy (patent pending).

Jerry smirked smirkingly "As big as you'll let me go, Mr. Banker."

"Well... first I'll have to know your annual salary."

❛ what do you want? you can tell me. ❜ from Jerry

No. He couldn't. He daren't tell anyone. The things that happened to and with a Banker were to stay to and with a Banker. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like?"

"Oh!" Jerry smiled. "I want a credit card. Yeah, credit card. Big limit."

"How... big of a limit?" The Banker spoke both cautiously and curiously, just as he had learned at The Banking Academy (patent pending).

❛ what do you want? you can tell me. ❜ from Jerry

No. He couldn't. He daren't tell anyone. The things that happened to and with a Banker were to stay to and with a Banker. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like?"

❛ i challenge you to a cooking contest. loser has to buy dinner for the next week. ❜ from oscar's brain worm

This was confusing. A talking worm? Then again, he was a talking Asparagus. Well, talking ish. Was he silent or silenced? Either way he looked at da worm. "You can cook?" It reminded him of Ratoutille. The movie, not the dish.

#Oscars brain worm

'bet you'd rather be next to a horse right now.' from esther

She was right. He loved horses. How their manes would make beautiful rugs. Her hair was full, lifeless, hanging there like a dead thing on her cheeks. But he couldn't say that to her.

"Not at all. Why would you suppose that?"

thegirlwhobecamequeen

"I just would rather be with horses than working." She admits. "I thought you might, too."

"Ah, so you're one of those horse girls?"

thegirlwhobecamequeen

Esther laughed awkwardly "I've never seen one in real life. But I've always wanted to. Have you?"

"A horse? Or a horse girl?"

#thegirlwhobecamequeen

"That yellow wallpaper is probably riddled with Arsenic." (to The Banker from The Bartlebey)

This panicked The Banker. How could he know? Was Bartlebey as all knowing as everyone said? Was The Banker even supposed to know Bartlebey's lore? He had to stop panicking. He could get past this.

"What makes you say that?" the Banker asked, as cool as a cucumber, or in this case, cool as an Asparagus.

Bartlebey was red as a tomato, if a tomato was also kind of Tim Curry as the Butler in Clue. "Oh, I don't mean to assume anything negative. I'm simply worried about you, my friend. That's a very old style of wallpaper, and that specific shade of yellow... well, let's just say I used to Butler, very briefly, for a couple, a long time ago. It didn't end well. They found that the wallpaper was to blame."

He didn't specify how long ago that was. It seemed better not to address the eternities he felt he had lived, but only sparsely remembered for convenient anecdotes.

"Have you felt well, lately?"

He never felt well. His life was an endless sea of anxiety, panic, serial killer gene induced hysteria. There was no end, only a beginning and the persistent life he tried so hard to leave. But, much like being a serial killer, banking was in his genes.

"My old friend, My old, old friend. How kind of you to care. I promise I feel completely fine."

Phew. A good cover for the fact that he was in fact the one who laced his walls with arsenic.

Bartlebey looked around the place slowly, sighed, and said, “Perhaps you might leave these walls for a short time anyway? Come get a coffee or tea with me. It would do you good to get some fresh air. You know the old saying — or perhaps you don’t, maybe it’s a Butler thing. Death lingers on the musty walls of a too lived-in place. You must get out from time to time before life starts living you, and not the other way around.”

The Banker swallowed hard. His friend perhaps had a point. "You'd.. really like to go get a tea with me?"

“There is nobody in this world who understands quite what the two of us have lived. Even if we’re from different factions. Forgive me for saying this, but you are the closest thing to blood that I have, in the sense that there are so few of Bankers and Butlers left in this world in particular.”

"Yes. And we both had to go to a specialised school for our specialised skills. Lost arts, really." The Banker shed a single tear. "You truly are like a brother to me."

divorced-loveyasparagus

'straight to the gates of hell!' (any Chewie Muse u pick)

Lovey stared at the Banker, taken aback. "I... Is my credit that bad? Is that what this is about?"

Oh no. He'd spoken out loud while having a standing night terrors again. "Uh.. yes, ma'am. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is in fact the case."

divorced-loveyasparagus

“Oh God. How can I fix it? How… how bad is it? I can’t let Archibald find out. I tried so hard to seem put together after he… uh, disappeared.”

The Banker took a deep breath. He was born for this. "Fixing bad credit requires a consistent, long-term approach focused on improving payment history and lowering debt utilisation."

divorced-loveyasparagus

She nodded. “Right, right. Any chance there’s a quicker, magical or perhaps morally ethical fix? Because I get that it’s Option A. But if, hypothetically, I needed to fix it faster. And I was willing to do a lot of sketchy or questionable things to fix it.”

The Banker takes a long pause and then an even longer deep breath. "I suppose if you had a way to make a lot of money very quickly we could make this all... go away."

#divorced loveyasparagus

"That yellow wallpaper is probably riddled with Arsenic." (to The Banker from The Bartlebey)

This panicked The Banker. How could he know? Was Bartlebey as all knowing as everyone said? Was The Banker even supposed to know Bartlebey's lore? He had to stop panicking. He could get past this.

"What makes you say that?" the Banker asked, as cool as a cucumber, or in this case, cool as an Asparagus.

Bartlebey was red as a tomato, if a tomato was also kind of Tim Curry as the Butler in Clue. "Oh, I don't mean to assume anything negative. I'm simply worried about you, my friend. That's a very old style of wallpaper, and that specific shade of yellow... well, let's just say I used to Butler, very briefly, for a couple, a long time ago. It didn't end well. They found that the wallpaper was to blame."

He didn't specify how long ago that was. It seemed better not to address the eternities he felt he had lived, but only sparsely remembered for convenient anecdotes.

"Have you felt well, lately?"

He never felt well. His life was an endless sea of anxiety, panic, serial killer gene induced hysteria. There was no end, only a beginning and the persistent life he tried so hard to leave. But, much like being a serial killer, banking was in his genes.

"My old friend, My old, old friend. How kind of you to care. I promise I feel completely fine."

Phew. A good cover for the fact that he was in fact the one who laced his walls with arsenic.

Bartlebey looked around the place slowly, sighed, and said, “Perhaps you might leave these walls for a short time anyway? Come get a coffee or tea with me. It would do you good to get some fresh air. You know the old saying — or perhaps you don’t, maybe it’s a Butler thing. Death lingers on the musty walls of a too lived-in place. You must get out from time to time before life starts living you, and not the other way around.”

The Banker swallowed hard. His friend perhaps had a point. "You'd.. really like to go get a tea with me?"

divorced-loveyasparagus

'straight to the gates of hell!' (any Chewie Muse u pick)

Lovey stared at the Banker, taken aback. "I... Is my credit that bad? Is that what this is about?"

Oh no. He'd spoken out loud while having a standing night terrors again. "Uh.. yes, ma'am. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is in fact the case."

divorced-loveyasparagus

“Oh God. How can I fix it? How… how bad is it? I can’t let Archibald find out. I tried so hard to seem put together after he… uh, disappeared.”

The Banker took a deep breath. He was born for this. "Fixing bad credit requires a consistent, long-term approach focused on improving payment history and lowering debt utilisation."

#divorced loveyasparagus

'bet you'd rather be next to a horse right now.' from esther

She was right. He loved horses. How their manes would make beautiful rugs. Her hair was full, lifeless, hanging there like a dead thing on her cheeks. But he couldn't say that to her.

"Not at all. Why would you suppose that?"

thegirlwhobecamequeen

"I just would rather be with horses than working." She admits. "I thought you might, too."

"Ah, so you're one of those horse girls?"

#thegirlwhobecamequeen

"That yellow wallpaper is probably riddled with Arsenic." (to The Banker from The Bartlebey)

This panicked The Banker. How could he know? Was Bartlebey as all knowing as everyone said? Was The Banker even supposed to know Bartlebey's lore? He had to stop panicking. He could get past this.

"What makes you say that?" the Banker asked, as cool as a cucumber, or in this case, cool as an Asparagus.

Bartlebey was red as a tomato, if a tomato was also kind of Tim Curry as the Butler in Clue. "Oh, I don't mean to assume anything negative. I'm simply worried about you, my friend. That's a very old style of wallpaper, and that specific shade of yellow... well, let's just say I used to Butler, very briefly, for a couple, a long time ago. It didn't end well. They found that the wallpaper was to blame."

He didn't specify how long ago that was. It seemed better not to address the eternities he felt he had lived, but only sparsely remembered for convenient anecdotes.

"Have you felt well, lately?"

He never felt well. His life was an endless sea of anxiety, panic, serial killer gene induced hysteria. There was no end, only a beginning and the persistent life he tried so hard to leave. But, much like being a serial killer, banking was in his genes.

"My old friend, My old, old friend. How kind of you to care. I promise I feel completely fine."

Phew. A good cover for the fact that he was in fact the one who laced his walls with arsenic.

divorced-loveyasparagus

'straight to the gates of hell!' (any Chewie Muse u pick)

Lovey stared at the Banker, taken aback. "I... Is my credit that bad? Is that what this is about?"

Oh no. He'd spoken out loud while having a standing night terrors again. "Uh.. yes, ma'am. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is in fact the case."

#divorced-loveyasparagus

'bet you'd rather be next to a horse right now.' from esther

She was right. He loved horses. How their manes would make beautiful rugs. Her hair was full, lifeless, hanging there like a dead thing on her cheeks. But he couldn't say that to her.

"Not at all. Why would you suppose that?"

#thegirlwhobecamequeen

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