🕷 The Ultimate Me

Ultimate Spider-man of Earth-12041 canon 𝙍𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝘽𝙡𝙤𝙜~🕷

[thewallcrawler]

Oh, Foe is Me (Private)

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion‌:

Sam swallowed hard, shocked. The validation was nice, but… wrong. This wasn’t what he came here for in the first place and definitely not how he wanted to have this conversation. Now he was on the spot in Peter’s attic talking about cops and his departed uncle.

Time to redirect.

“Geez, Parker. I didn’t know you were that in love with me.” Sam shoved Peter hard and snagged his drink. He was going to take full advantage of the ‘no hitting when the other person was holding food’ rule they established during their nightly gaming sessions. 

“If you were going to ask me out then you should have thought of something more romantic than processed cheese and burritos.” He shook his head and hissed through his teeth in unduly disappointment, forcing a blank mask over the threatening smile thining his lips.

“I’m gonna have to make a hard pass.”

The leather-bound trunk creaked under Peter's sudden shift in weight. He glared at Sam and rubbed his arm furiously.

"I'd rather date M.O.D.O.K for a month before I considered taking you on a date. And don't drink that. I don't want any indirect kisses - unless you like the breakfast menu?" Peter pounded his chest and burped in Sam's direction. "Woo, that is one fresh sample! Courtesy of Sabrosa Tasty. That's right, I went to the same place, twice in one day."

"I was nice. I worked for your nacho money." He smirked.

At that moment, Peter's phone chirped. He pulled it from his pants pocket and read the message, his eyes widening. "If you've got leftovers, Sam, you might want to put them away."

"Fury needs us - now!"

[effyeahultimatespiderman-blog]

[thewallcrawler]

Oh, Foe is Me (Private)

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion‌:

To say Peter compacting chips between his teeth like a paper shredder was shocking would be an understatement. It was a power move and Sam had never been so intimidated by him until now.

“Chill, Webs,” he shouted, surrendering the chips before his fingers could be dessert. Peter was obviously having an off day, and Sam had genuinely considered tipping him over just that little bit further to see what the guy was capable of like this.

Maybe next time.

“I’m not exactly apart of the Nova Corps. I don’t even know if I’m capable of being what they are– or were– or whatever.” Sam shrugged and leaned backward until the only thing propping him up were his elbows. 

“Titus used to be one of them and now he’s totally corrupted.” Sam did his best to maintain the anger over the fear of finding reflection in those cruel people who only sought destruction and suffering upon the weakest of them. “Maybe-” he stammered, but then straightened up with a smirk.

“What a joke, amirite?”

He wasn't laughing.

Peter looked at the chips, then back at Sam. He scratched the back of his neck and coughed and shuffled his feet. Don't insult him, Peter thought. The sheer effort not to was making him uncomfortable.

"I haven't thought about it." That's not true. Sure, he had faith Sam could keep his super-mega-awesome powers in check. But he'd be afraid to mess with him like he used to. He was especially careful to avoid Nova's cosmic rays during Academy training.

"We've been friends for a while. I think I'd notice if you were jerkier than usual. Maybe a little impulsive, obnoxious, and arrogant, but not corrupted." He chose to leave out the recent incident involving Peter's leftover burrito. It had his name on it! That monster.

"You put holes in Titus' ship like a heat-seeking missile, Sam. That sort of power can go to your head in a big way fast. You've been to other worlds and galaxies and seen evil way beyond what we've got on earth, and you haven't changed a bit. You're still out here with the rest of us fighting for the little guys."

"We're lucky to have you."

[thewallcrawler]

Oh, Foe is Me (Private)

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion‌:

Sam tucked into the nachos as Peter continued to speak highly of his departed uncle.

The last time he saw his mother he’d been leaving earth to be apart of the Guardian’s. She passed along a story of her husband sprinkled with the gentle awe and understanding of a true fan, much like Peter is now. He could never connect with his father the way his mother told him he would with a little time and patience. Maybe if he hadn’t been so eager to be someone important then they could have had something like Peter and Ben did.

Sam snapped back to reality then and shoveled an overly-generous handful of soggy tortilla chips into his maw before his feelings could do the same to him.

“I’m surprised the whole city doesn’t have a restraining order against you,” he snorted, nearly inhaling a mouthful of greasy cheese directly into his lungs. “Maybe I should get one while they’re half off.”

He felt the slightest tingle of his spider-sense as he watched Sam cram food into his mouth. Either Sam is about to choke, or he's about to vomit. Peter gingerly put aside his nachos.

"You mean to tell me the most annoying member of the Guardians of the Awesome isn't hated universally? I went on the moon for a day, and still, I see hate from the moon preservation facebook group about that environmental catastrophe."

"Do they even have restraining orders in space? Your helmet - the Nova Corps are cops, right? Put in a good word for me, will you? The fewer cops that hate me, the better."

In anger, Peter grabbed Sam's chips and jammed them through his clenched teeth. He chewed messily in his selfish rage.

[peterparkerdaily]

Spider-Man in Ultimate Spider-Man Infinite Comic #4 (2016)

[thewallcrawler]

Oh, Foe is Me (Private)

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion‌:

“Don’t you talk to spiders or something?” Sam shuffled between the boxes for a place to sit, arms crossed in attempt to keep himself from touching anything by accident. It’s not long before he finds a suitable area nearby Peter. It’s a sturdy plastic tub that looks practically new compared to everything else. Fitting.

He never knows what to say to Peter whenever the guy brings up his uncle, but he started with a insensitive joke and owes him at least that much.

“Uncle Ben sounds like a great guy. I mean, was a great guy.”

Peter Rolled his eyes. Talk to spiders? It's Spider-man, not Spiders-man.

Reaching into the bag, Peter produced two plastic trays of extra cheesy nachos and a greasy quesadilla. He handed one of the former and the latter to Sam as he listened to the uncharacteristic compassion coming from his usually quick-to-defend-against-emotions teammate.

"Yeah, he was. Greater than the greats and better than the best. People like us, we fight for change.  We're still in Highschool, and we've already won our fair share of world-saving battles. But I bet my Uncle Ben wouldn't have to fight. He could change anyone's mind - even cold, metal hearts like Dr. Doom's."

Peter sipped his drink thoughtfully. He had been embarrassed to flee Batroc in Jersey earlier, but his reasons were, well, reasonable. Villains or heroes, what's the difference? Neither are itching for a refreshing diplomatic debate these days. And it's the civilians that have to put up with the inevitable fallout.

He shook his head. "This isn't the first time I've crashed Bingo night, Sam. Grandma Sabertooth was right to get that restraining order!"

[thewallcrawler]

Oh, Foe is Me (Private)

What a dump.

Peter Parker grimaced at the cobwebs in the attic rafters as he sat down on a leather-bound trunk. He looked around at the plaster cracked walls, the yellowed wallpaper, and boxes. A single dusty lightbulb illuminated the space, projecting fried bugs onto the sheet-covered furniture.

"I used to sleep up here." He put down a brown bag of fast food - a lesser-known brand called Sabrosa Tasty. "Uncle Ben and I would roll out the sleeping bags and go camping. It wasn't the great outdoors, but there were more bugs up here than members in Insect Squad.”

"Don't worry about the dust. It's the spiders you don't want to sit on."

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion·:

“Yeah, well, I save the earth on the weekends. I think I can handle the denture squad and their lap dogs.”

“…But I’ll bite. What’s the story?”

"Let's say we meet at the usual spot, away from Jersey?"

"-and if you bring nachos, I won't tell Captain America your joke."

[wesgibbinsed-blog]

[incorrectultimatespidermanquotes]

Every now and then I like to do as I’m told, just to confuse people.

Peter (via incorrectultimatespidermanquotes)

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion·:

“Are we talking about the Avengers here, or are you really afraid of an existential crisis when a bunch of lonely grannies yabber on more than you do?”

"Really? You're going to insult our eyes-and-ears professors when you could be flying us away from the sinister 60?! Fine, I'm going to hide and pray they haven't got my scent. Try not to give me away, Human Flashlight. And don't say I didn't warn you about Grandma Sabertooth."

"She and I share a dark history."

[thewallcrawler]

novacenturion·:

“Wait, what? Webs, did you just make me an accessory!?”

"It's not my fault the Keaton senior center failed to tell me it was a bingo night at the Point One Casino! Otherwise, I would have rebooked my tuesday tussle with Batroc the leaper.-

But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that you fly us out of here before Grandma Sabertooth tests her new dentures out on our hineys!"

[thewallcrawler]

🕷 novacenturion started following you

"Floor it, Nova! They're on our tail!"

[dailyspiderman]

[exquisite-idealist-deactivated2]

The light subject change was by far needed to end the fiesta she was having with him in her nervous mariachi party of worry. Yes. That was it. A nice little chit chat to distract the mind, she thought. She breathed out an exhale, simmering down to at least let him settle and get his barring; for the time being. Who knows what will spook her next, so it was best to stay cautious. As she literally said everything in one strained breath. 

“ - You mean my incognito name? Because technically giving you my real name doesn’t go with the heroism code right?— safety precautions? Anyways .. use to be known as Amethyst Bloom but — grew onto another nickname that my friends gave me when revamping my look. Call me Cardinal. Unless, you really want to share our secrets — and make an oath to be crime fighting buddies and I just ‘might’ give you my real name .. If the trust is there.” 

[thewallcrawler]

The Spider was grateful for the swap in style. He considered her words carefully as they came. Not a villainous rant about ingenious spider blockers. Nothing about odds stacked against him. He remained cautiously open-minded.

“Cardinal? It's been a while since I've met a bird themed hero. The unspoken hero rulebook is against sharing real names on the first day. You might know me by my ’incognito’ name already, what with the Avengers status and the costume with the spider on it. Anyway, I’m Spider-Man.“

“Are your friends the reason you’re in this side of town, Cardinal?”

[nightxgale]

   “So you stick it to your enemies then!        -Okay never-mind, that came out lamer than it was supposed to sound. The sticky hands are still cool though-” 

  “-Who me? Oh sorry, the name’s Nightingale. Pleasure.”

[thewallcrawler]

   “Oh, it wasn't that bad. I happen to be a notorious punner myself -- despite the failing punmunity."

   “--Anyway, fitting name. Would you mind if I called you Gale?"

[speedywits-deactivated20160705]

"Woha! Really? That’s pretty cool, and kinda tempting to have as a pet. I mean, how awesome would it be if I just strolled into someone’s house with it? I could just be like, ‘Hey, check out my 7-legged spider!’. Heck, I’d probably be the coolest kid on the block! —Then again, I already am."

"Sure thin— Australia has their own avengers team? Dude, newsflash much. Heh, it’s actually not too hard. A couple punches of basic formulas for physics of it all here and there should do the trick! It’s usually the same overly exaggerated hypothetical problems on a test. Y’know, kinda like where someone buys 485 watermelons?”

[thewallcrawler]

   “That -- or you'd never be invited over to dinner by them again. Most people don't appreciate the majesty of the eight legged freak, much less seven."

   “--and what do you mean overly exaggerated? I'd be that guy in a heartbeat if I saw 485 watermelons just waiting there for the taking. food is food, ain't nobody got time to buy it conveniently-- unless it's at costco."

    “Speaking of which, have you ever thought about entering a pie eating contest?"