the kitty wilde.

Uh, clearly you have been living under some sort of metaphorical rock if you don’t know who I am. I’m the Kitty Wilde. Some call me the queen of sass, while others simply refer to me as Daddy God’s gift to mankind. I’ve been sent to this website with a very strict purpose: to show the whores and the homosexuals the errors of their ways. The good Lord above knows McKinley High is riddled with losers in need of repentance, so I’m here to get the job done.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

A Cheesy Surprise

[thewildestkitty]

TAGGING: Sam Evans and Kitty Wilde

LOCATION: McKinley Hallways

TIME FRAME: 8/26/13, after Cheerios practice

GENERAL NOTES: Sam finally surprises Kitty with his way to ask her out

So he’d skipped football practice using a doctor’s appointment as his excuse, and instead, he started making a trail. From right outside the door of the girl’s locker room and all the way across the school to Kitty’s locker, he laid out a trail of Hershey’s Kisses. He knew it was stupid and cheesy, but he hoped she’d think it was cute enough.

Once he’d made sure everything was in place and sent a text to the Cheerio he’d paid five bucks to just to make sure Kitty would head to her locker, he took his place and waited for her to show up.

After what felt like ages, he saw Kitty rounding the corner and heading towards him. As soon as she was close enough, he smiled at her and held out another Hershey’s Kiss to her. “So, now that I’ve kissed the ground you walk on, will you consider going on a date with me?” he asked.

KITTY WILDE

"Uh, why should I walk all the way down two different hallways to stop by my locker? Unlike you, I have a life outside of school. I don't have time to go marching all over this building to look for whatever it is your pathetic attention span caused you to lose." Kitty's eyes flashed with annoyance as she glared up at her fellow Cheerio (whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember), astounded that the girl had the audacity to ask her for help. She wasn't the sort of girl to help others on even her best days, but when she was pissed off because Sam Evans was yet to ask her out on a date, her fury was almost unmatchable, and her desire to even bother responding to others was nonexistent. 

Kitty listened, completely unamused, as the girl spouted off some excuse as to why she should help her. It was perhaps the most unoriginal and ridiculous reason Kitty had ever heard, but the conviction she felt in her heart for being an utter bitch to almost everyone who crossed her path that day caused her to do something she otherwise wouldn't. "You're lucky Daddy God has been convicting me lately about helping people." She muttered under her breath as she spun on her heel and headed out of the locker room, her white sneakers squeaking with each step she took. Hoisting her Cheerio red gym bag higher on her shoulder, Kitty managed to make it just a few steps before she spotted a very peculiar path ahead of her. 

Kisses.

For as far as Kitty could see, there lay a path of chocolate Hershey's kisses. "What the..." She muttered under her breath, momentarily forgetting her mission as she slowly began walking towards the trail of kisses. Walking with one foot on each side of the kisses, Kitty followed the trail through the school, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. It wasn't until she rounded the last corner and made eye contact with Sam Evans that she realized this had to be part of his elaborate plan to ask her on a date. Kitty halted in her steps, her confusion growing, before she closed the distance between them. She didn't have any idea what this path had to do with asking her out, but she was certainly curious to find out.

When Sam finally spoke, a wide range of thoughts raced through Kitty's mind. For the most part, she couldn't help thinking this was the cheesiest idea she'd ever heard. He looked way too hot to be the type of guy who was super into romance, but apparently her impression was wrong. However, there did exist a small part of her that thought it was pretty sure. He had obviously gone out of his way to set this up - suddenly the girl's insistence made sense - and that was altogether endearing to her.

Unable to resist a little sass, Kitty rolled her eyes and snatched the chocolate out of his outstretched hand, her other hand settling on her now cocked hip. "How do you know I'm not deathly allergic to chocolate, Evans? You could have just inadvertently caused me to blow up like a balloon, and while I would still be the hottest girl in this school, I wouldn't fit into my Cheerio's uniform anymore and that just isn't allowed." Sighing, Kitty made a big show of unwrapping the chocolate and popping it into her mouth, before continuing on. "But, since you're lucky and I'm feeling charitable today, I guess I can go on a date with you. Just promise you won't make me talk to obnoxious, way too pushy girls like I'm pretty sure you just forced me to do back at practice." It was embarrassingly difficult for Kitty to refrain from smiling, but she mustered up the ability to stare blankly up at him, hoping to keep Sam from realizing just how much the gesture really did mean to her. 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

It will be. At least I hope it will.

[thewildestkitty]

I'll see you tomorrow, Sam.

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

Maaaaaaaybe. So if some random person tells you to - I don’t know - follow a path to your locker after Cheerios practice tomorrow, do it, okay?

[thewildestkitty]

Clever, Evans. 

I guess I can do that. This better be worth the precious time it takes me to walk to my locker after practice, though. 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[qfababe]

Totally hot football player? Which one? 

[thewildestkitty]

The really hot blonde one? Sam.

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

Oh, it will. And I promise that my plans will be carried out by the end of the day tomorrow. If not, you have full permission to be angry with me.

[thewildestkitty]

I don't need your permission, but thanks. 

I'm guessing this is what you need someone to help you with tomorrow? 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[justblainewarbler1]

Oh, I see. Well… Did he actually confirm that he was going to ask you out?

[thewildestkitty]

Uh, duh. He said something about it needing to happen at school, so I guess it'll happen sometime this week? I don't know, but I'm ready to see what he's got planned. 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[justblainewarbler1]

Can I ask what you’re waiting for?

[thewildestkitty]

I don't know. Can you?

This extremely hot football player is planning on asking me on a date, and I'm getting tired of waiting on him to do it already. 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

Oh, I have a plan. A really awesome plan actually. I would have done it today, but I need a little help for it, and I technically have to do it at school. But it’s coming, and hopefully it will live up to your impossibly high standards.

[thewildestkitty]

I'll be shocked if your plan is able to live up to my "impossibly high standards," but the fact you need help for it sounds promising. Will you doing it tomorrow at school? 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

Like you said, patience is a virtue. I promise it’s coming soon. I’ve just gotta put the finishing touches on my plan. Have a little faith in me, okay?

[thewildestkitty]

Do you even have a plan, Evans? Or are you just buying time until you finally spit the words out in the most unattractive way possible? 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

[qfababe]

And what is this surprise that you’re waiting for? 

[thewildestkitty]

Oh, this totally hot football player is planning on asking me out on a date. He says it's going to be in some huge, amazing way, but we'll see. My standards are pretty high, after all.

[qfababe]

I bet you've missed me.

I was taking a short, mental health break. All the loser on here can be too much sometimes. Anyways, I’m back now. Feel free to resume your endless praise and worship. 

[thewildestkitty]

I totally understand, Quinn. Sometimes I have to simply log off and walk away because the number of losers on this website can be extremely overwhelming. You were phenomenal in cheer this week, by the way. I'm so excited to be learning from someone as fabulous as you. 

[thewildestkitty]

Patience is a virtue.

Unfortunately, it's one of the few virtues I'm lacking. Daddy God made me, though, and he isn't finished with me. Anyway, it's been several days now, and I'm still waiting on my surprise. Tick, tock - this had better be worth the wait. 

[thewildestkitty]

Who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Isn’t this obvious? Our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. I wouldn’t make it through a day in this life without God by my side, always reminding me that ‘thou shall not kill’ the losers at McKinley High. Here on earth, though, my biggest role model is unquestionably Quinn Fabray. She’s an immaculate legend. I’m always in awe of her abilities during cheer practice. I start every morning by asking myself one question… 

[thewildestkitty]

What are your plans after graduation?

I haven’t really thought about it, honestly. God and I are totally bosom buddies, though, so He’ll let me know where I’m supposed to end up closer to my graduation. That, or I’ll just pack up my car and head to Hollywood. It’s my destiny to be rich, famous, and all around better than you Lima losers, obviously. 

[gleecastdaily]

[thewildestkitty]

The really hot blonde liked your photo.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

It looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me then. But I think I have a couple ideas that might impress you. At least I hope they will. I’m kinda new to this whole asking girls out thing.

[thewildestkitty]

Let's hope, for your sake, that they do. 

[thewildestkitty]

The really hot blonde liked your photo.

[broadwaysfavoritegoldstar-deact]

And here I thought I’d already won you over on my looks alone.

[thewildestkitty]

While you are undeniably super hot - I wouldn't even consider going on a date with you if you weren't - you have to prove you're more than just a pretty face. Don't set the bar high unless you plan to deliver, duh.