From the WM

Justin Yi aka the Wooly Mammoth A Wooly Mammoth never forgets

[thewoolymammoth]

The thing I miss about college most is being able to knock on a few doors and spend all night playing board games.

Instead of drinking.

Sigh.

[thewoolymammoth]

Snow Day

What shall I do with this snow day? I could sleep, or eat, or dance, or play? It falls like the mana from heaven, I can finally sleep well past seven, Oh snow, majestic soft and fluffy snow, Shake those bountiful clouds and let it go, This magic that is nature's dandruff, Thank you for letting me do any stuff.

[thewoolymammoth]

That sad moment on Christmas Eve when someone you trusted and hoped would listen to you turns out to be an asshole and brings the worst out of you. I don't know what made me think this time would be any different.

[thewoolymammoth]

"Suck My Dick"...

...was written on one of my student's hands today. I asked him to tell me why he had written that on his hand. He mumbled something, refused to meet my eye, and continued reading his packet. I tapped the desk and demanded that he tell me.

He looked up, sighed, and said, "During lunch I saw this hot girl so I wanted to ask her out. I asked for her number and I didn't have a piece of paper, so I had her write it on my hand. And that's what she wrote."

I probably shouldn't have laughed as loudly as I did.

[thewoolymammoth]

Spelling Test

Gave a spelling test today. Said the word, "vulnerable." Got like 6 kids spelling variations of "bonerball" and "bonerable." But really, wouldn't "bonerable" be an actually useful word? Not so sure about "bonerball" though...

[thewoolymammoth]

Cookie Problems

(names changed, duh)

Me: You don't get a cookie since you were misbehaving.

Amy: That's not fair!

Me: I'm going to take your cookie and POUND it to little pieces on your desk, then swipe the crumbs onto the floor.

Amy: Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you just eat it instead?

Me: Because... I'm not hungry?

Clara: No, it's because that would cause you more suffering. I would know, I am an expert in pain.

[thewoolymammoth]

Faux Pas

I made a mistake of wearing a yellow collared shirt with a solid red neck-tie. I looked like a McDonald's employee. So after I received a couple annoying comments from my students I took off the tie for the rest of the day.

One student came up to me and asked, "Where's your tie?" Before I could even answer, he said, "Did you take it off because... BA DA BA BA BA WE'RE LOVIN' IT?!"

I was too busy laughing to try to strangle him.

[itzbatz-deactivated20240722]

OK SOME REALLY SERIOUS SHIT IS HAPPENING IN NORTH KOREA

According to South Korean newspapers, last week the North Korean government PUBLICLY EXECUTED 80 people in 7 cities for watching South Korean/Western shows, movies, and videos, “pornography,” or possessing a Bible.

Apparently people’s attitudes and conformance are changing SO THIS IS HOW THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO SUPPRESS DISOBEDIENCE

They allegedly herded 10,000 innocent civilians into a stadium where they were FORCED TO WATCH THE EXECUTIONS BY MACHINE GUN FIRE

THIS IS HONESTLY SOME HUNGER GAMES SHIT HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW

some of the more reputable sources: x, x

[dagger-kitsune]

Other sources: The Sydney Morning HeraldThe Los Angeles Times

[9secretsigns]

look what the USA’s meddling has helped happen. dividing Korea has been as successful and beneficial to the world and the soul of humanity as any other illegal incursion or violence leveled against Asia by the USA.

[nostalgicfuturity]

^^ YES. cuz it’s easy to call it “some hunger games shit” and indulge in the crocodile tears of an imperial power when we completely dislocate the fact that the united states of america refuses to normalize relations on the peninsula by actually ENDING THE 60 YEAR OLD KOREAN WAR whose origins can be found in the arbitrary division and neocolonial occupation thru u.s. martial force after the so-called “liberation” from 36 years of brutal japanese colonial occupation. what’s truly tragic is how these narrations of spectacular violence that dominate the popular imagination of the DPRK also defangs the reality of a thwarted decolonization for the korean people north and south in order to maintain american hegemony over the asia/pacific. lest i remind folks that the u.s. empire is steamrollering the transpacific partnership that basically tramples on the very individual rights and freedoms its so quick to condemn in the context of the DPRK (like NAFTA on steroids, some say) and passing bills in the senate to enable the export of north korean babies. so know your fucking history before you start crying.

[thewoolymammoth]

Comparing the deaths of my people to the Hunger Games is fucked up. That's like putting side-by-side the Holocaust and the massacre of the Navi tribe in Avatar. Fuck you.

But as for the fuck ups of "Imperialist America," I'd disagree. Imperialist Japan is NOTHING compared to the imperialist hold that the US has over Korea. It's not ideal, not even close, but our language, culture, and people are not being stripped away. Koreans still have ownership of their heritage.

Dividing a country in half is like trying to cut a family down the middle. It's preposterous and impossible, but at the same time, if one parent is aiming to kill the rest, there's no other choice. Had the US not intervened, Koreans would have succumbed to a Chinese imperialism, and that's no better (and I would argue even worse than the current situation).

South Korea is not a nuclear power. Imagine what would happen if the US left. Sure, we'd get unification alright, but who the fuck cares when Seoul is reduced to a pile of ashes.

[shesmaddontchaknow]

Are we so uncomfortable with love between two people of the same gender that we immediately label it as sexual?

-Kerry Washington

[thewoolymammoth]

Exactly why Billy Chyan will never hug me the way I hug him...

[thewoolymammoth]

"No Child Left Behind" sounded more real to me than ever when I decided to start teaching. Only 3 to 8 kids in any given class? Think of all the attention I could give each student, how much I could push them, how much I could grow them. I knew great things would be possible.

But that's the problem. My students aren't my projects. It wasn't about what I could do, it was about what the students could get out from themselves. And I failed to see that. And I failed so many kids.

Would it have been different if I hadn't written him off as an asshole, a jerk, a bully, a gangbanger. And instead, if I had seen him as someone who was misunderstood and needed guidance? But I walked away from him. I said things about him that I wasn't even sure were true. 

I left him behind. And what he left behind is a result of all of our failures.

[thewoolymammoth]

My favorite student has decided to stay at least one more year!

[thewoolymammoth]

Things that sound better in my head

A student asked why my hair was down. I joked around and said that whenever I was happy, my hair stood up (in faux hawk) but when I was sad, it was flat. I didn't realize what I said until the boys started giggling.

A girl was scooching a chair over to my group and was taking forever, so I joked and said, "By the time you get over here, it'll already be your next period." The two girls I was working with stared at me wide-eyed. Yeah. I should have said "class." 

[thewoolymammoth]

Falltime Sadness

My favorite student is planning to transfer out of our school. I'm way more depressed than I should be.

[thespoonmissioner]

[livesickdieill]

This is important

[redwolfnohood]

I love this show

[thewoolymammoth]

Spike Lee

Random Student: Hey you look like Spike Lee!

Me: Are you sure? Do you know who that is?

Student:Yeah, and you look like him.

Me: You know he's black.

Student: No he looks like you. He has your hair.

Me: Are you talking about Bruce Lee?

Student: Yeah! Him! That's you!

[thewoolymammoth]

Half-way through A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I have never read a book where I have so madly fallen in love with the protagonist. Does it make me a pedophile if it's a coming-of-age story and I fell in love with her precocious mind at the age of four?

[thewoolymammoth]

Mop

One of my students is perhaps the most hyperactive 9th grade girl I have ever dealt with in my life. She is a Chatty Cathy x 100. She has long, curly brown hair so I nicknamed her "Mop."

A: Mister Jay, I need help~!

Me: No you don't.

A: I DO I DO I DO (she really doesn't)

Me: Keep doing your work, Mop.

A: Mop? DID YOU JUST CALL ME A MOP?

Me: Yes. I need to see pen moving on the paper. Eyes down and reading directions.

A: YOU CALLED ME A MOP. YOU ARE SO RUDE.

Me: If you don't start working, I am going to flip you upside down and clean this classroom with your head.

A: (starts her work, gets distracted again after like 2 seconds)

Me: You really are like a mop. You just sit there doing nothing until someone picks you up.

A: And you are my Picker-Upper!

Me: ... NO...