Writing thoughts for previously hurt/abused/neglected characters
Okay, so you know your character's past. You know they're still affected by that past, even if it's been years since that Thing happened. I feel like there are a couple of self-soothing things they would do:
Always wearing long sleeves, sweaters, or hoodies. (Maybe to hide scars, maybe because being wrapped up or covered is soothing.)
Blankets everywhere! Being warm is soothing, and blankets offer a certain amount of warmth, cover, and a mental shield of sorts. It's hard to catch this character not wrapped in a blanket while chilling on the couch reading or watching a movie.
Hesitant to initiate touch, or flinches when another character physically reaches for them, regardless of intent. It could be an intimate moment where their love interest is simply reaching to brush their hair back from their face, and your character flinches. It's an ingrained, unconscious response to past hurt or abuse, and it can take YEARS to break out of it. (Ask me how I know.)
Wary of others' intent towards them. Whether this in the form of friendship or romance, their past makes them wary of others because they've been tricked before by someone who seemed wonderful at the outset, only to show their true colors later on.
Insanely grateful to others for just being treated like a human being with thoughts and feelings of their own. It's been so long since they haven't been expected to fill a certain role, and were just allowed to BE. They're finally starting to realize (if they weren't already aware) that their past was unhealthy, which is the first step towards recovery. If the other character(s) also give them the tools to rebuild their life (a place to stay, assist with finding a job/going back to school, feeding and/or clothing them, getting them into therapy, etc), those other characters are looking at to-the-death loyalty.
In the case of past neglect, your character is probably touch-starved. They may or may not seek out touch, but nearly any touch from others will make them SUPER happy, even if it's accidental. If allowed, they would probably be very tactile with others (hugging, holding hands, cuddling, etc)--regardless of platonic or romantic status. However, they may be hesitant to seek out such touch, so other characters may have to initiate it and assure them that it really is okay to seek out touch.
Anxiety and/or depression is common, and COMPLETELY NORMAL! It takes time for your character to find an even keel, and a healthy support network is crucial for them. If they need medical intervention in some way (therapy sessions, medications, hospital stays for the really severe incidents), that is also normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. Depending on their society or personal history, they may still carry feelings of shame at their perceived weakness, and/or forcing others (by the situation) to take care of them.
Just throwing these out there, in case anyone finds this helpful! Feel free to add things I may have missed!
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