Digital Graffiti

Primarily a writing blog. I post other things too.

[thewritingontheblog]

This happens too often

Daytime: absolutely no motivation to write or create anything, ideas are fleeting and I give up

Nighttime: four million ideas, I can't do anything with them but now I suddenly have them for no particular reason.

[thewritershandbook]

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Too often, the only escape is sleep.

Charles Bukowski

[darthnostra]

When you get the sudden urge to write but you can’t cause you’re busy but then when you’re done and you sit down to write the urge is gone and you have zero motivation

[thewritingontheblog]

I Fell in Love with My Roommate: Chapter 4

The words tumbled out of my mouth, unsure how to react. I cursed myself for being so sudden about this. Silence hung around the room, the atmosphere was crushing and intimidating. I felt as if I would choke and die right there.

"Dude, I don't feel the same way, but we've still got a few months left in this semester. Who knows what will happen." His nearly perfect face seemed to glow. His casual and effortless appearance always shocked me, he was always so laid-back about from everything. He seemingly was unaware of my world shattering to pieces. I wasn't sure what to think, I was so utterly lost.

I sat down in my desk chair. Nothing will be the same, there is no going back to normal; there is only now, there is only here. I picked up my phone, hovering over clicking "call" on my mom's contact. I couldn't bring myself to it. My head was swimming with possibilities, none of them seemed positive, everything seemed to weigh down on me. I was a foreigner in a strange land, I saw nothing familiar, I knew nothing.

I glanced over at his face, he was flushed red; he looked as if he's trying to distract himself from everything. He wanted to think about anything else.

He looks troubled and I panic, I have no idea how to help or even if I can. "Uh, I have to go to class." I sputter. He grabs my arm softly, "No, stay, please." his casual and relaxed persona gave way to someone very childlike and vulnerable. He wanted me to stay, I didn't know the reason but I couldn't leave him in this state. I turned to face him "why? what's wrong."

He put his head in his hands, he whispered softly, "I've never felt this way about someone, at all." I reach out to touch his shoulder, "You're not alone, this is so incredibly foreign to me, nothing makes any sense." He looked directly into my eyes, his sharp blue eyes softened, they shimmered from the tears he was holding back.

"I can't do this, you're my roommate, you're a guy. This isn't right and I can't do this." He shrinked away from me, avoiding my gaze. "I want to say I don't want to see you again, but everything draws you towards me." the words tumble from his face in a strange cascade, like he wants to get them out of his mouth as fast as he can. "Everything I've learned as been wrong, I'm not supposed to be attracted to guys, it's not natural and it's wrong."

I felt as if my heart had been punched, I was so close, but he doesn't want to admit what he knows to be true. It's terrible, he's hurting so much, but I'm unable to help, nothing makes any sense.

"I need to study for the exam next week, you should too. It won't be long until mid terms." I whisper under my breath. I don't want to leave him behind but there's nothing else I can do at this point.

I head to the library, I'm probably going to be almost living here for at least 3 weeks. I have so many classes with difficult midterm exams. I can't afford to fail or mess anything up. This needs to be perfect.

The next 3 months fly by, I've been studying like crazy, I barely sleep. Mason and I haven't spoken much to each other, we try to avoid it; we both know it to be true but we can't risk anything at this point. We don't want our already tense relationship to shatter, this can't happen now.

I find Yuki's number from the group chat. I step out of the library into the outside entrance, still keeping my access card so I can get back in. I call her, unsure of how I should feel, I mentally brace myself so I don't sound funny.

"Hey, Yuki, it's Jake, I know it's been a while but I thought you might want a break from the midterms. I know I could" I try to sound casual, that nothing is wrong. She picks up right away

"Hey Jake, I'm at Pleiades dorm, it's near the library so you won't have to go very far. I'll meet you there." I wait, trying my best not to look too troubled, I want this to just be a break from midterms, nothing more.

She walks out in her usual outfit, jeans, her cat ears hoodie that she wears when it's cold out, and her sneakers. "Hey Jake, I've been studying a lot too, have you slept?" she asks like she's my mom.

"Unfortunately, no. Of course I'm sure you could already tell that." I try to say nonchalantly.

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious." She smirks, "C'mon let's go for a walk, you can get your stuff if you need to, I can wait here"

I go to get my stuff, It's nothing much just my laptop and my textbooks and my thermos. I find Mason left something, there's a note attached to a paper cup of tea. "You've been working very hard, make some time for yourself, okay?" He drew some stick figures of us, it's actually really cute.

Yuki must have followed me, "It seems he really cares about you, why haven't you told him yet?" she laughs a bit and shakes her head. I blanch "how --- how did you know?".

"It's written all over your face, you can't stop thinking about him, can you? It's obvious you like him, he cares about you too. I can read that note you know." She turns her soft maternal face towards me. "There's nothing wrong with what you feel, it's okay." She looks me directly in the eyes.

Everything she said was true, "I just can't admit to him yet, I can't tell him that everything about him draws me in. I can't tell him my true feelings yet, It's not the time!" I tell her as we're walking out of the library, "everything feels as if I'm in a different world when I'm around him. I know it's 'normal' to some but I can't shake it off quite yet. He even said he doesn't feel the same way."

Yuki smirked, "Do you really, honestly, believe that? If you do, you're as thick as your textbooks. He likes you, a lot. You can tell by the way his face lights up when someone talks about you. He defends you when people talk shit about you. He cares about you, it doesn't take much to tell." She shrugs, "Do what you will with this, but I'll support you. You were the first person to be friendly to me here, still one of the only ones." her face fell at the end of her sentence.

"I'm doing my best to find my own happiness, you're an absolute idiot if you don't do that yourself." she muttered. "You're smart, I know that, we're in the same classes. But on these things, you're not the brightest." She laughed a little.

"Okay but, what do I even say?" I ask her, I'm really not sure of her reply. I want to tell him, I really do.

"The semester is already half over, you should find a way to tell him before the end of this semester." she advised in her maternal voice, soothing and gentle but firm. She knew what she was talking about, even when she seemed to be more alone than anyone.

She was right, I knew that. "The library may be 24/7, but I'm not" she yawned, "I need to sleep for once, you should too."

"I need to work on my term paper, so I can polish it before it gets turned in." I shrug, "I'll be able to sleep after midterms."

I return back to the library, I set down my things and get back to work. I push thoughts of him to the back of my mind, so I can focus on my term paper. Classical literature teacher was really not messing around, five thousand words minimum. I've still got to finish the brainstorm stage. I begin writing, finally, my fingers move in muscle memory with my brain. After a few hours, the first draft is finished, it's due today, but thankfully it's finished.

I pack up my stuff, change into the hoodie I got in my backpack, somehow I suspected I would be up all night, again. It's midterms so nobody really expects much in terms of appearance, as long as you don't smell gross, you're most likely fine. Class starts soon, so I should start heading towards that way. I need to charge my phone, it could be bad if I don't.

I plug it into the external battery I kept in my backpack. I couldn't have anything wrong. The library became my second home, everything felt out of place but at least academics remained a constant. I needed to stop by my dorm after class, I needed to shower and actually sleep. It's been too long.

I unlock the key, Mason is not there, but he's probably at class. His performance is tomorrow. I need to take a break to see that. Admittedly it's just to see him, but there are other reasons.

Class finally ends, it's been too long. I return home to see Mason with his headphones; I sit down on my desk, making a token effort to distract myself from him. It's no use.

"Hey Mason, I ---" before I can finish my sentence, I'm cut off with a kiss. Slow, deep, romantic, this is always how I imagined it would be, admittedly from romance novels, but it's still accurate okay?

"Please, don't tease me like this again. I'm a big guy, but I feel deeply. I'm not hurt, but I'm relieved that this finally happened." The words tumbled out of his mouth again, everything felt so perfect. I never imagined it would happen this fast, but I'm also not complaining.

I hug him deeply, "I won't hurt you again."

[thewritingontheblog]

[thewritingontheblog]

Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.

1597, Sir Francis Bacon, Meditationes Sacrae:

And thus knowledge itself is power.

[thewritingontheblog]

I Fell in Love with My Roommate: Chapter 3

After I said that, the anxiety made it difficult if not impossible to sleep, I just couldn't.

He gives me an impish grin, "You think I'm sexy huh?" Well, I can't exactly take it back, so I try to be casual "Yeah, I do. You don't have to like me back, I understand that." "So you assume I don't, maybe I do, maybe I don't? You don't know yet, do you?"

His eyes sparkled as he shook his head slightly, "You can't sleep either? Why don't you sleep with me man?" "Don't tease me like that," I hissed through clenched teeth "It's really rude."

He grinned some more with that nearly perfect face of his. "Who said I was teasing?" I wanted to say something, but I couldn't, everything he said so far is right. He knows he's teasing me, but I can't do anything about it yet.

The college has a café, so I figured, if it's open, I need coffee. Luckily, it's not staffed by students at night, but it's still open. I walk in, tired, but still can't sleep. "I need black coffee, with a shot of espresso"

The barista smiles at me, she's pretty but she looks like she could break me with one hand. "Here ya go, it's $2.50." I hand her my card, she swipes it, and I walk out with my coffee. It's not raining but it's dewy and humid outside, it feels nice.

My sister is awake, she works nights and is nocturnal; I should call her. Thankfully, she picks up right away. "Hey big bro, what's on your mind?" I feel myself flushing and burning up, I must look like a tomato, "I....I fell in love with someone, I think, I'm really not sure but --" "Woah woah, slow down there buddy. One thing at a time. I can't help you if I can't understand you." She softly urges me to stay calm. "So my big bro finally left his nerd shell and decided to have fun, huh?" "Don't tease me so much Yui, one of us has to be the responsible one." I sighed, I love my sister, but she's such a mess sometimes. "You're such a downer, you know that? So you fell for someone, have you told her?" I swallow the lump in my throat. Nobody in my family knows I like guys, many thought I'd never have a girlfriend. "It's a 'him' not a 'her' Yui, and he's also my roommate" I say as if I'm telling some grand story with huge impact. "Oh, I guess that's complicated. It's really nice you found someone though" she practically shouted. I can tell she's super excited that I found someone, even though it's my male roommate.

"Well, Drake, I'm not sure what I can say. I wish you the best of luck though. I have to go, work starts soon" She said before she hangs up. My little sister, now knows my secret. I just hope it doesn't get blabbed, I don't need that.

I sit up and head back to the dorm, it's already late but I can't fall asleep and wake up for classes in the morning. So, I sit down at my desk, I open up my laptop, hoping some browsing will clear my head. I just told my little sister something I've been keeping inside all this time. I feel ready to burst but I can't, I have to keep it together. I have to be strong, I have to be brave. I have to be, it's how things always are and have been. As I'm getting ready, Mason returns,

"Hey, You must have classes today. I don't so I won't be around today, I'm visiting family." I notice he's hiding his face, "Hey, what's wrong?" I wonder. He turns and looks at me, "It's nothing you need to worry about, really." I can see he's trying not to cry or show that he's sad. I put my hand on his shoulders. "I won't pressure you, but I'm here for you. We're roommates and we need to look out for each other." I get my bag ready and put my boots on, "If you change your mind, you have my number, just text me."

I walk out to my first class of the day. I hope he's okay, I really do. It's difficult to concentrate today, but I manage. I hated seeing him so sad. It's time for lunch so I head back to my dorm, I'm not really that hungry anyway.

Mason isn't here, I just hope he's okay. He said he'd be gone all of today and maybe tomorrow as well. I can't get him out of my mind, it feels strange. I shouldn't have feelings for a guy like this. It's not something I thought was okay and acceptable. So, it's something I struggled with, at least, until now.

I can only hope that I'll get through this year, without falling too hard for Mason, but, so far, it's not worked out. Some things are just meant to be dreams. I let myself daydream

He comes through the door, fresh from the shower, still wet. "Hey, there, I heard you liked me. I feel the same, don't worry about it." His face and chest glimmer from the moisture, he looked like a sculpture. Everything about him seemed to call to me. I felt pulled in, like I was sinking fast, but strangely I didn't mind. It felt so natural, I lay down on my bed, letting me sink further into my fantasy. He shimmers and glistens as he starts to put on his clothes. He doesn't feel real, but it's a daydream, so it doesn't have to be. The entire time I've always told myself that I need to keep this façade of being straight, but maybe I don't.

Maybe I don't need to be this way with him, maybe I can be something different. They always said that college was a good way to find yourself, which I always thought was nonsense, but maybe there's some truth to it. I've been really closeted and shut-in in high school, I never really had any friends, but somehow I managed to make two in the first week of college. It's really strange.

It's odd that Mason hasn't texted me anything, I don't know what's going on. I just text him

- Hey, it's Jake, is everything okay? - No, it's really not, things are bad - Do you need me to come over, or something? - No, I'll be back later tonight, don't need to worry

I don't know what's going on, but I also really don't want to pry. I hated when my parents did that, I certainly don't want to do that.

It does make me wonder about what's eating at him. There's many things eating at me too, but I could never tell him, just what would I say? I mean, I know what I'd say, but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding awkward or wrong. What if he's not into guys? What if he's actually homophobic and I've made a big mistake. It's a scary thought, but everything about him draws me in, I can't help it. I look at some of the photos on his profile. He's super attractive, sure he's not super bright but that's not everything, he's certainly no dumbass.

It's difficult for me to figure out what I feel like, things are so different from when I was still in high school, or even before I started college. Is this what it's supposed to be like? Is this what falling in love is like?

I've never experienced this kind of emotion, I've been used to being alone aside from my family. I didn't have any friends because I was too focused on studying and getting good grades. I realize now that I completely forgot an entire part of the world around me, and that makes me so sad. I realized that I'm going to have to tell him soon, not when he comes back, because that would be too soon and I don't want to do that, not yet. I just, I want to kiss him and feel him hug me, feel him around me.

That sounds so cliché but I can't really help it, I'm at a loss. I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling.

I get a text notification, from Mason. I smile and open my phone quickly.

"Hey, can I talk to you when I get back, there's something I think both of us need to discuss."

I can feel my heart stop. I hate hearing those words, they never seem to mean anything good. Maybe, with him, I can help work past those fears. Everything is so scattered, that I have no idea how to go about this. I have no idea how to do this. I thought I was prepared for college, but I was only prepared for the academics; I've never been prepared for the social aspect. Frankly, I don't see how I could be, I've been a loner and generally didn't care much about making friends, if they happened, they happened; they didn't, unfortunately. Which makes it even more depressing that this happens.

Breaking me from my daydream and self-loathing cycle, Mason comes in, drenched from the rain. I get him a towel and let him get undressed. I can't peek, I can't bring myself to do that. If he wants me to see his entire body, then so be it. But I'll wait until he does that himself.

He changes into his sweatpants --- staying shirtless -- and flops into the futon, "So, is there something you want to tell me, roomie?"

I freeze, I feel the blood rushing up my face, I feel like I'm burning from the inside. This wasn't how I planned to tell him, this isn't how I wanted to tell him. But, I really don't have a whole lot of choices now do I?

"Mason. I think I'm falling for you."

[thewritingontheblog]

I Fell in Love with My Roommate: Chapter 2

I waited outside my dorm, I had an umbrella so I didn't get rained on. I don't want that on my first day at college. I hope I look good enough not to embarrass myself -- that was unpleasant enough in high school.

Mason pulled up in his car, he honked to get my attention. "Hey dude, you ready?" He looked pretty confident, he had a stunning girl beside him. Oh well, he's straight, I was hoping to flirt with him tonight.

We head to a really dirty but popular dive bar. He walks down and sits at the bar, we both follow suit. "Hey Mac, can you get me a beer?" Mac chuckles and sighs. "You never change, do you Sparky?" Sparky? I wondered, how did Mason get that nickname?

He turns to me, he has dark brown eyes and he's covered in tattoos, they look more like works of art. "Yo, you okay?" he says, waving his hand in front of my face. "Yeah, sorry, how much is rail vodka?" I asked, looking at the bottles behind him. "It's $8, but if you get 5 it's $30." he said. I blanched at the price, "nah, I'll just have something strong." I said, I wanted to get drunk, it's been a long day. I needed some to take my mind off things.

"Hey Drake, you wanted shots of vodka, right? Let's go." Mason stood proud, as if he knew I was going to lose. I grinned back, "let's have a contest. Roomie"

"Hey Mac, remember that money you owed me, just put it on 25 shots. Let's see who can last the longest." He grinned at me.

Two men from the bar cleared away a table near the center of the bar. "First one to get too drunk loses. If you have to puke or you pass out, you lose instantly." I said as Mac brought out some vodka. "Remember guys, If you are too drunk, I cut you both off" he said as he slammed two shot glasses down. "Ready. Set. Go!" He shouted as he walked away.

"Cheers" I shouted as we both clinked our shot glasses together. I'm used to vodka and sake --- thanks to my Japanese family, I guess.  I down mine swiftly with one gulp and without a second thought, these were big shots, called "fulls"

"Well, looks like I finished the first shot faster" I grinned at him. "S-s-shut up, that was only one." He stammered, "I'll be fine after I get used to the taste." "I guess we'll find out," I shrugged, "I doubt it though."

Mac refilled our glasses. "To our education and futures. May we be prepared for whatever lies ahead." as I finish, I swiftly down the shot I had in my hand. Mason forgot to pick his up, so I had beaten him again.

After a ten or so shots, he was looking pretty out of it. "Feeling it yet, you lightweight?" I grinned at him.

"Shadap, I'm feelin fiiiiine" he slurred. Mac brought one more shot out for the both of us, "Alright, this is the last one I can give Mason."

"Well, if that's the case. I guess I better make this count." I stand up to face the entire crowd that gathered to watch us. I raise my shot glass, "To lifelong friends, to happiness and good fortune. May we all have lifelong prosperity. 'Kanpai!'" I slammed it down on the table after I finished it. Mac grinned, "I knew it, he's also a lightweight, despite his appearance." He glanced at the sleepy Mason, "You should probably take him back though."

I nod a bit towards him, "Alright, I'll be off then I guess." I take out my wallet to pay. Mac waved his hand, "Don't worry about it, it's on me after all. Plus, getting to see Mason get knocked down a peg is nice for once." I nodded at him slightly, "Thanks, have a good rest of your night."

I squatted down to heft Mason onto my shoulders and back. "Alright, let's go home." Mason weakly protested, "No man, I'm fine!" I skeptically grinned at him, Oh? What's 7 times 9? "Uhhh, 79?". I shook my head, sighing a bit, "wrong, it's 63. You're obviously not fine." I walked back to the dorm entrance. "Oh, It's not locked. Cool."

I stepped in and opened the door, everyone seemed to be a sleep or in their rooms. Well, it is 2 am. I suppose that's normal. I walked up to our room, slowly setting him down on his bed. I made sure he was on his side, in case he threw up in the middle of the night.

"You got in over your head again," I sighed as I put the sheet over his body. I found myself staring at his face, he was stunning. I wanted to kiss him. "But he's straight! I can't do that!" I thought to myself.

Once I made sure he was safe and sound, I went to the bathroom. "I can't fall for him, I just can't!" as I splashed my face with cold water. I looked at my face in the mirror. I was always told I am attractive, personally I don't see it. Maybe he does, I doubt it though. It's already 1:30am, I have class tomorrow starting at 8 am.

I make sure to get my face washed, and teeth brushed before I climb the ladder for the bunk beds, trying my best to keep quiet so I don't wake him up. Luckily, he's a heavy sleeper, and he's also passed out, so I don't need to worry too much. I sighed deeply as I lay into bed, finally falling asleep. I set an alarm for 7:00 am, I had to be ready for classes in the morning. Hopefully, He'll understand.

[The next morning]

My alarm buzzes as I wake up. I have a hangover so I make some herbal tea, also for my roommate, setting it on a warmer so it stays hot. "This will help with your hangover, I made a big mug for you."

The sun is super bright today, so I put on my sunglasses as I walk out. "First is a required course, Classic Literature. Why does it have to be at 8 am?" I just have a long-sleeve shirt, sunglasses, dark jeans and my boots. I manage to find the classroom so I'm still early. I walk in to find many students seated. "Is this everyone?" I wonder, "It's about 15 minutes early, why is everyone this early?"

A very short but oddly confident man walks in and stands at the podium. "Good morning everyone, I am Professor Iverson. I hope you have all read the syllabus, we will be starting our coursework today." I haven't read the syllabus, I silently curse myself for not being prepared. After an hour after his rambling, he gives us the assignment: 2 hours of reading, followed by an analysis on the text, the second part of the essay is opinions. Already starting out tough.

Several hours later, I'm finished with my courses for the day. I had back to the dorm to find Mason still in bed, both mugs empty. I lean close to him, whispering in a very low voice. "How are you doing? Holding up okay?" "Everything hurts, can you make me something for this?" he asks through his pain, he's obviously hurting bad. "Leave it to me, I'll make something for you"

Thankfully the dorm has a kitchen, I have ingredients for it. Something my mom always made when I was hung over: chicken broth and dumplings. I get everything ready as I cook it; the dumplings are from a box, sorry mom. After I finished prepare everything, I top it with a poached egg.

"Hey, you don't need to eat it right away, but I would before it gets cold." I whisper as I set it down on the desk by him, still with the cover on to keep it warm. "I'll leave you alone to sleep, I'm going to head out to the bar. See you later."

I put my coat on as I walk to the bus stop, I don't have a car, but luckily there's a bus line nearby, I don't mind walking a bit anyway. I have money budgeted for drinking. Luckily it's a lot, I got a full ride to this university, so I'm hoping I make it count.

"Hey Mac, can I get a beer?" I wave as I walk in, he's a bit busy cleaning so I just sit down at a bar. He smiles at me, his tattoos glistening from the sweat on his body, he must be working hard today. "Jake, was it?" he asks, looking a bit unsure. "Drake but close. Drake Sato" I smile, bowing slightly. "Oh, you're Japanese? You born in the states?" he smiles a bit as he says this. "No, I'm born in Japan, but I lived here for 10 years, everything is so strange here. I was born in Fukushima Prefecture." I answer, excited and taken aback that someone wondered about where I was from. "Oh, Fukushima? That's the place where the nuke plant blew up?" He asked, pretty confident about himself. "Not quite what happened, but I'll take that. Hey, can I get a beer?" "Sure, it's a student special today, it's $9 for a pitcher." He said pointing to a sign. "Do you want like, Asahi or something?" "Japanese beer isn't all that great, I'd rather have something local" I smile, "but it's cool that you know about it." "Alright, this is one of the craft beers. I took a bit off of Sparky's tab." He winks "Don't tell 'm okay?"

I chuckle and smile slightly, "Don't tell him what?" I wink back slightly as I take my first drink. "I just started classes today, professors are already giving people coursework; that's fine for me, but I worry about Mason?"

Mac beamed "Sparky? Nah, he'll be fine. He may seem thick, but he's really not, he's a good person. He's my little cousin after all", I choke back a sputtering "what?!" They're related. Is everyone in that family stunningly attractive? Mac put his hand on my shoulder, "dude, you okay?" "Yeah, I didn't know you were related to Mason, that's all"

I feel myself blush, "he's probably got a girlfriend, which is a shame, because I really think he's cute."

Mac shook his head, "He's your roomie, you gotta be careful there, a lot of things can go wrong." He looked at me with his gorgeous face, "I trust you, you're a good guy. Don't let him hurt you, it's not always the brightest when it comes relationships. And no, he doesn't have a girlfriend"

I pay for my beer, with extra tip. It's not super far from my dorm, and the buses have ended so I could just walk anyway. I get my coat and my umbrella, it's not raining but I don't want to leave them behind.

I take the shortcut back to my dorm, as I turn the key and head up to my dorm. Mason isn't in his bed, but I hardly mind it. I'm ready to fall asleep so I get into bed. As I'm almost falling asleep, Mason comes back. "Hey, how are you?" He asks. "Did I ever tell you how sexy you are?" I mutter, I'm really sleepy, and for some reason this felt like a good idea to say.

[thewritingontheblog]

I Fell in Love with My Roommate: Chapter 1

I said goodbye to my parents as they dropped my off at my first day at college. I was excited, hopeful, and prepared. They told me I was staying in Cygus dorm, wherever that is. I collected my bags from my parents car. "Drake! Be safe and smart, don't forget to have a good time!", my mom shouted from the passenger seat. I suppose I shouldn't worry them like I did in high school. "I'll make sure of it mom!", I shouted back, before picking up my bags and heading to the main hall.

The main hall was where we would check in for incoming freshmen registration. I looked around to see just what the other students were like. There was a small girl two places in line from me, she looked scared an anxious, like a small puppy that's lost.

"Hey, there's no need to be nervous, the semester hasn't even started yet.", I told her. She was shaking and avoiding my eyes. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you nervous?", I asked, trying to be friendly and calm. "I'm worried I won't make any friends, I don't want to be alone", she sputtered out. "Well then, I'll be your new friend, I'm Drake." I told her, confidently stretching out my hand. She didn't shake it, but bowed slightly, "I'm Yuki, I'm sorry if I'm being too awkward!" She shouted suddenly, as if she was sure she was bothering me. "Don't worry about it, you're fine!" I smiled at her, trying my best to be friendly and confident.

A man in a polo shirt and khaki shorts stood up and shouted over the crowd, "All residents of Cygnus dorm, please come to this line to be registered. After that, please follow me." She looked very nervous, staying close to me. "I'm in that dorm too, do you think we'll be roommates?" I shrugged, "I don't think so, but we'll find out, now won't we?"

It was finally my turn to register as an incoming student. I filled out the form and handed it back to the registrar. "Please step over here, we need your photo for the database." "Okay, I guess" I shrugged, I can't argue with that.

The man in a polo shirt then shouted,"There, now that everyone is registered, will you please follow me?" I wanted to unpack my bags in the dorm, so I just followed. "You will look at a number you were given after registration. It contains your room number. Any numbers that begin with 1 will be on the first floor, 0 is in the basement. You're smart enough to go from here" he beamed at us, "at least I hope so" he muttered through his smile.

I walked up three flights of stairs to the fourth floor, luckily my room is near the stairs so I didn't have to carry it for much longer. I turned the key to open the door. It wasn't anything special, but it's a college dorm, it's not going to be fancy. I unpacked my bags and put them in the wardrobe and on the first desk. As I started plugging in my computer, my new roommate walked in.

"Hey, I'm Mason, you must be Drake." He smiled and waved to me, he saw I was busy. He had a gorgeous smile, stunning blue eyes, and strawberry blonde hair. He was really cute, but I promised myself I wouldn't fall for my roommate, "It won't end well", I remembered.

"So, you can be on the top bunk, I'll be on the bottom bunk. That okay roomie?" I smiled back, "Yeah, sure. Just curious, why do you want the bottom bunk?"

He looked taken aback, "No reason. It's just that one of us has to be!" He managed to get the words out. I didn't believe him, but I didn't want to piss him off this early on.

"Okay then, that works." As I finished plugging in my computer and setting it all up, he was unpacking his bags too. I didn't see much as far as academics go, but maybe he'll just get everything later. I don't know. I shrugged it off, it's none of my business anyway.

"Hey, just thought I'd let you know, don't touch my stuff unless I ask, okay?" I leveled with him. "Sure bro", he just said casually, as if it was nothing. "I'm serious, I'm not having my stuff taken or messed around with!" I shouted. "Dude, chill, I'm not going to take your stuff anyway." He smiled nervously, chuckling a little.

He's gorgeous, I tried not to blush when he smiled at me. He's really cute but I can't fall for him, it only causes trouble.

"So, what are you majoring in?" we somehow both asked at the same time. "You're going to laugh," he looked away again. "Probably not, but tell me anyway." "Theater and dance" he whispered, as if he didn't want anyone to hear.

"I'm not laughing at that, I could never do that." "I'm majoring in biochemistry, so I'll be studying a lot, either here or in the library."

"Cool, so you're a nerd?" He chuckled. "I don't like the term 'nerd', it's demeaning and degrading." I muttered through clenched teeth

"Dude chill, you're just in a heavy subject, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you could help me study for my general courses?" He beamed at me with his gorgeous smile again, his intense blue eyes smiling as well.

"Well, it's starting to get late. Do you want to head out for drinks or something?" as he's already putting his coat on. "It's okay if you don't, but I'd really like you to come." He smiled at me.

"Okay sure, I need to have some fun every once in a while." I shrugged, putting my coat on as it started to pour outside. I did it, I finally made another friend. I'll have to tell mom about this.

[thewritingontheblog]

NaNoWriMo thing

So, it starts tomorrow. Nobody Someone is probably wondering what I’m doing, and the current answer is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m deciding between a gay romance story, or something non-fiction

[thewritingontheblog]

Dayton, other Ohio cities rank in "Top 50 Bed Bugs' list

Columbus, the Cleveland-Akron-Canton metro area and Dayton are some of the worst cities for bed bugs, according to pest control company Orkin in its 2018 “Top 50 Bed Bug Cities’ list.

Columbus topped the list at #5, the Cleveland-Akron-Canton area came in at #14, and Dayton at #34.

It seems bad, but it’s not entirely surprising when you look at the overall trend

Bed bugs have been almost completely eradicated in the U.S. since 1940. From 1980 to 2014 bed bugs have comeback with limited extent [...] In 2004, the bed bug infestation has increased rapidly. It is clear to many scientists that bed bugs are rising again

Two prevailing theories are: International Immigration, and decreased use of pesticides. 

Slightly outdated, but it gives a good idea of the increase. 

Here is a decent map of the prevalence of bed bugs in the US. You can read more here

Now, onto options, it is relatively easy to guard against bedbugs, as seen here in this EPA guide. Spotting them is relatively easy. The issue comes in regards to treatment of the infestation, it can be quite troublesome. This guide gives a rather simple procedure. 

In my humble opinion, it’s not as much of a cause for concern as it could be. However, it is still quite troubling. 

[thewritingontheblog]

Currently listening: 9:51 am, 24 Oct (Wed) 

[thewritingontheblog]

On the Japanese Concept of “侘寂” [Wabi-sabi]

In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection

I’ve seen this concept in many different forms in my life so far. Until recently I have always seen it as a defect, rather than something that naturally occurs and to be embraced. 

At the advice of my therapist, I started mindfulness. I’ve struggled with the (learned) compulsion of having things be perfect, or as near as possible. One of the first of many concepts I reduced but never fully unlearned --- much to my disdain. 

I’ve known the concept, albeit not with a name, for a while. How something that is incomplete has it’s on unique attraction. 

A building which shows its age has a certain beauty about it. Dangerous building flaws aside, I don’t see it as something to be covered over or ignored. I am not an artist, much to my own chagrin.

However, My uncle is a potter in Galena, Illinois; a lot of his work has a certain element of “wabi-sabi.” Although I am unsure if he knows the concept as it is. 

You may jump to this being another facet of my “otaku” personality (I term I rather dislike, yet is applicable.) However, this is one concept that the west needs to embrace. There is beauty in imperfections, in decay, in unevenness. 

[tyrantisterror]

My ideal Mario movie is a light-hearted fantasy romp in the vein of Alice in Wonderland, except it replaces the 10 year old girl with a middle aged Italian plumber.

Mario would be introduced in the real world, where he does normal plumber work, only to get a very strange job in a strange location.  There he finds an enormous green pipe and, with no other options, crawls into it to figure out what the problem is.’

He pops out on the other side of the pipe, which is in the bright and colorful fantasy world of Mushroom Kingdom. He barely has time to take in the sights before a three foot tall walking mushroom trots in from the horizon with murder in its eyes.  Mario tries to figure out if what he’s seeing is real, and fails to escape before the Goomba sets upon him.  The camera cuts away as we hear the telltale “oh no you died” music from the games, seconds before Mario pops out of the pipe again.  Soon enough the Goomba comes for him again, and after running in circles to evade it he eventually tries to jump over it, only to land on the Goomba and stomp it flat.

Mario then progresses through the world as he would in any Mario game, slowly figuring out how certain bricks can be broken to reveal helpful tools, finding hidden rooms via pipes, and all the other weird shit you’d experience if you were transplanted to Mushroom Kingdom.  Eventually his journey leads him to a castle, which he then navigates only to find, well, who else?  Toad.

Toad gives Mario the exposition both he and the audience need by this point, telling Mario that the only person smart enough to find a way to get Mario home is Princess Peach, who is unfortunately being held prisoner by King Bowser Koopa.  Mario’s mission is clear: he has to rescue Princess Peach to get home.  He then goes on more adventures, making friends with Yoshi along the way before finally reaching Bowser’s castle.  The two have their customary fight, with some good banter that shows Mario’s growth and acceptance of his new role as a hero, and eventually Bowser gets dunked into lava.

Peach is thankful, but tells Mario she doesn’t know much about “other worlds,” but that a relative of hers, Princess Rosalina, might (sequel hook!).  Bowser clambors out of the lava at this point, and things are tense until Peach suggests they ride go-karts together.  Our movie ends with Mario, Bowser, Peach, Yoshi, and Toad riding go-karts over the end credits.

Then, in our MCU style stinger, we see the pipe in the real world as a new plumber, Luigi, enters the room looking for his missing brother…

[thewritingontheblog]

Of Planes and Panic

As I'm sure you're all aware, it has not exactly been the best week for airlines. Just some excerpts from the articles I was able to find paint a quite disturbing picture. 

A passenger died and seven others were injured after the engine of a Southwest Airlines jet blew open in mid-air, sending debris into the plane's body and bursting a window.

Passengers described hearing the Boeing 737-700's left engine explode about 20 minutes after takeoff from New York's LaGuardia Airport Tuesday morning. The plane violently depressurized when the window broke open.

The pressure change apparently pulled a female passenger partially out of the jet, according to a family member of another passenger.

Source

One person was killed and seven others were injured Tuesday after a Southwest Airlines plane engine apparently exploded midair, officials said. Flight 1380, which was headed from LaGuardia Airport in New York City to Dallas' Love Field, made an emergency landing at Philadelphia International Airport just before 11:30 a.m. The jet had 144 passengers and five crew members aboard.

National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) Chairman Robert Sumwalt confirmed the death at a news conference Tuesday. It was the first passenger fatality on a U.S. airline since 2009, according to the NTSB.

Seven others were treated for minor injuries, Philadelphia Fire Commissioner Adam Thiel said, adding that one of the engines experienced a fuel leak when firefighters arrived on scene, and a small fire was quickly brought under control.

Source

The incident was even broadcast on Facebook live. 

This is among many others that have come forth recently. 

Flying is still very safe

According to a Harvard University study, the odds that your airplane will crash are 1 in 1.2 million, and the odds of dying from a crash are 1 in 11 million. (By comparison, the odds of dying from a shark attack are 1 in 3.1 million.) Transportation by air is far more safe than driving, where your chances of dying in a car accident are 1 in 5,000.

If somehow you end up in an accident, according to the Aviation Safety Network, of the 163 aviation accidents in 2016, only 15 percent resulted in a fatality. In addition, a study conducted by the National Transportation Safety Board that looked at data from 1983 to 2000 showed that more than 80 percent of aviation accident victims survived the crash.

Turbulence will probably hurt you more, they are still the leading cause of in-flight injuries. There were 44 turbulence-related injuries in 2016, Over the past 15 years, the most painful year was 2009, when there were 103 injuries because of turbulence. Keeping your seatbelt buckled can go a long way in protecting you from potential harm.

Still worried?

Have some more statistics and facts

It's actually becoming safer! 

[thewritingontheblog]

Telegram’s Transcription Void

I use a companion app for WhatsApp, which transcribes voice messages into text. I find it really useful when there’s voice messages and I can’t listen to them. 

However much to my dismay, I was unable to use it with Telegram or find an adequate equivalent. There is @transcriber_bot but I haven’t found it very accurate. 

This is somewhat problematic as in many groups, those who are sending voice messages don’t have the clearest audio. Either their accent is difficult to parse, or they have too much noise/excess audio when they are recording. 

Regrettably, I do not have the coding skills, nor the space available to create a replacement bot that would satisfy my requirements, even the basic ones. 

Advantages

Easy to select voice note language

Per message language selection (Transcriber for WA)

Multi-message/Batch conversion (transcriber_bot)

Typewriter style effect (Transcriber for WA) 

Disadvantages

Poor recognition with nonstandard English accents; a problem for Scots English speakers. (both)

CJK languages aren’t always context-aware

Content Awareness in CJK Languages

Especially important in Chinese, but also important in Japanese and Korean, is the concept of context awareness. Transcription in these languages is difficult because there can be several characters that correspond to the same sound 

年 → nián (year)

粘 → nián (sticky) 

This can be an issue if it has a rather restricted list of 2,000 characters* (often the most common characters, that correspond to pinyin syllables.) Additionally, and to a detriment, There’s several different “accents” to Mandarin or Cantonese (additional Sinetic languages also fall under this, but Mandarin & Cantonese are the most common.) 

Nonstandard English Accents

Okay, confession time. I have a bit of an odd accent when speaking English. So do you (don’t lie). Which is why voice recognition software often has to train to your voice. The aformentioned (free) programs have adequate at this but are imperfect, whether this has anything to do with the price has yet to be ascertained. 

Say you have a slight southern drawl. This will unfortunately cause many transcription programs to have to “guess” what word you were saying, often incorrectly. 

This is why I will always say that the human element in this scenario will most likely never be eclipsed by machines, even artificial intelligence.