DANGER

WARNING YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE UNKNOWN.

[beeishappy]

2015.10.21 | Marty and Doc arrive at Jimmy Kimmel Live

[ultrafacts]

[bestnatesmithever]

What if it bites me and it dies?

[finalellipsis-deactivated201807]

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

[babblingfishes]

What if it bites itself and I die?

[william-petrisous-and-other-blo]

It’s voodoo.

[the-ordinary-nerd]

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

[tpt-moved]

That’s correlation, not causation.

[pizzadut]

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

[demonsinsuits]

that’s kinky

[pizzadut]

oh my god

[ambris]

Always reblog

[hellinq]

“Did you study for the test?”

[hellinq]

*In the middle of the test*

[gif-tv]

[annabellioncourt]

That’s the face of a little shit that knows exactly what he did to deserve this threat.

[muirin007]

[fromthemotionpicture]

[slavery]

Who from Texas I have a question for you

[msunderstoo]

im from texas

[slavery]

Do you eat hay

[weezerpilled-deactivated2025082]

a baguette in the butt would be a pain in the ass

[gothclaudia-deactivated20190409]

i’m unlearning french

[armie-hammer]

[today-ifuckedup]

Today, I fucked up... by almost burning my wife’s vagina

My wife and I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. So I went on this big chain adult toy website. I ordered what I thought was a small introductory butt plug which came with a complimentary free gift: G-spot tickler vibro or a misc. porno. My gal isn’t into watching porn, so naturally I picked the tickler.

The day we got it, we couldn’t wait to try out the “toys”. The buttplug scared her and got an immediate shut down due to the girth. So we tried the vibrator. The thing was made from the cheapest fucking plastic. It was like they melted one of those plastic easter egg cases you get at a quarter machine and shoved in a battery operated motor. You’d think the plastic and the no name AAA batteries with chinese logos all over them would be red flags. NOPE! I fire that baby up and pop it in my gal. She liked it at first until she was like “it’s getting hot!” I took that as a compliment with my mad skills piloting. She then jumps up and yells “IT’S FUCKING BURNING!” And jumps/chun-li kicks me off the bed.

I reach down and grab the thing and sure enough, the fucking thing felt like it was about to melt. You could see a trace of smoke fluttering from the seams of the vibrator. I panic and scramble to the bathroom and toss diablo’s cheap g spot tickler into the toilet. It continued to buzz for a little bit until it fully submerged with a sizzle.

tl;dr Tried spicing things up in the bedroom. Almost burned wife’s vagina with cheap malfunctioning vibrator.

[nottheaverageasian-deactivated2]

when you try to make plans with your friends and they say no

[recentgooglesearches]

good wine pairings for flamin’ hot cheetos

[soshesawildflowerxo-deactivated]

Pennsatucky is killing it this season 😂

[tkr]

[weirdtrip]

he looks so pleased

“oh look. look at this apple. it me”

[mysteryho1238138798223789-deact]

horf horf horf

[adultswim5000]

what the fuck is horf

[biphoenix]

horf horf horf

[teenagehipst3r]

[airframeextender]

you know what really gets my goat?

[aglaja-deactivated20131222]

el chupacabra

[weareselecters]

[peopleholdingdachshunds]