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@theycallmechen-blog
Two weeks in 2014
So I've returned to Hue, Vietnam again this summer. And Boy, don't I miss this place. So much has changed in just one year, but the people didn't change at all. The students are still so eager to learn English, although it's like pulling teeth to get them to talk in front of the class -_-, TA's are beyond helpful and the team is just so excited and hardworking.
Today my heart cried because I miss Vietnam so much.
All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack. This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth? The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen. At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours. Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk. But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting. The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate. They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole. And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.
Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved. (via perfect)
Harry twerking in HD
Fish.
Time well spent. Today i had the privilege of working with some disabled people living in the kaohsiung government sponsor housing. I had no idea what i was signing up for, actually i didn't even sign up for this job. My aunt asked me if i wanted to help and sure why not?
The lady in charge pulled me aside and told me some brief information about the people living here. Even though they may look a certain age, their mindsets are usually around the ages 3-5. There was this particular girl that i was able to have decent conversation with, we talked about how she was able to speak chinese after years of not knowing and how my chinese was impressive. There was this other girl that could only, and would only repeat the word "fish" in chinese. Everything is fish, but yet her smile was nothing fishy. And there was this other girl that was known to be the "head" of the girls, even though she may be short and stout, her demeanor was nothing similar to that taste. She voiced her opinion and bossed people around, telling girls to sit down or to leave the room. I had the privilege of playing frisbee with her and boy, she knows how to play and she knows that she's good at what she does.
After awhile the lady in charged took me around their rooms and told me how the Taiwanese government has been trying their best to reform the lifestyle of the disables. Compared to what we witnessed in Vietnam (we went to several orphanages that also had housing with disabled) the disabled in taiwan is living a good life.
There and there got me thinking about how unfair life is. Or how the family of these people might be like. Or the different back ground stories of each and one of them may differ. I don't know much about how I should feel, but i'm coming back next week for more :)
Short film footage
Amber, Vong and I were heading down the elevator to exit the hotel. Once we reached the ground floor and the doors opened, we saw a lady crouching on the floor with some unknown objects in front of her. I didn't catch on immediately, but once that object began to exit from her body. Shiet it was vomit. Amber pressed the closed button ASAP and we got on the second floor and walked down the stairs. ha ha ha
"This could be used in a vietnam short film footage"- Amber Paulson
@pearl, what ju think?
Where am I?
Right now i'm sitting in my aunt's work chair using her work computer.
not in vietnam
back in Kaoshiung, Taiwan. So i'm not really complaining.
Yesterday was one hell of a day. It seems like a lifelong ago since I last said goodbye to Amber, Ron and Vong. I woke up at 7:30 yesterday feeling extremely horrible, the mere thought of leaving a country i fell deeply in love is just unbearable. And ironically we were living in the hotel i lived in when i first arrived to vietnam. GASP the Dae Ja Vu was just beyond describable.
We arrived to Ho Chi Minh city on the 6th around 5pm, Joey and Vong were both there to pick us up. To celebrate our last Nhau, we went to the baddest seafood restaurant in Saigon (or so i think is) and ate every single type of seafood possible (just kidding) we had some big ass oysters, scallops, snails, squid and etc. all the exotic sea creatures, you name it! That night we went back to the place i nhau for the first time and nhau for the one last time, the dude that served us recognized ETA4 and thus joined us for a quick drink.
The morning after was just the most horrible day, ever. In denial and withdrawal, Amber and i were both such bad sport in trying to get up from bed. Vong had to literally drag us out of our beds and make us dress up (just kidding again) we left the hotel promptly and arrived to the international airport where we met up with Ron and Tammy for the last goodbye :(
Sigh, the gif of them waving goodbye will forever be imprinted in my mind. Even though it was such a sad event they reminded us that we will be seeing each other soon. In ten months and 3 weeks.
ETA4 I'll be back for you.
I brought a knife on the plane
Actually, I attempted.
Actually, it wasn't even a real knife. It was a fork/spoon/can opener that so happens to have a knife as one of the utilities too.
Funny story, Amber and i were both bawling our eyes out when we crossed the security check in place. Once our bags got through the scanner thing the machine began to beep, Amber immediately said "oh no, it's me" but in the back of my head i knew it had been my knife. So i turned to her and said "no, it's me" in the most disappointing tone lol. I really liked that fork spoon, really convenient when i'm out and about and needed a utensil to eat my food, but now it's with William. So all in all, it's fine I'll get it back in 10 months and 3 weeks.
NO.
WILLIAM IS TELLING ME TO PACK AND NO YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS SO I WILL NOT PACK AND I WON'T LEAVE I DON'T EVER WANT TO LEAVE STOP MAKING ME PACK D;
Drunken story.
Well I was self diagnosed "allergic to alcohol" but i think last night we rebutted that theory. Amber wondered if i would be allergic to hard alcohol so I had 4 shooters at this place called "luna" in Danang. Caramel, cucumber, guava and strawberry, the first one tasted realllllyyy good (well like caramel) but then the rest tasted a lot more like alcohol so blech.
I was kind of tipsy so i wasn't really aware of what was happening. I began picking on my supposedly scab right next to my stitch, then i started tucking on the scab eventually pulling it off. But when i looked down all i saw in my hand was a black string. L O L PERO I PULLED OUT MY OWN STITCH.
oh stupid christina, that's it for drunken story. Now i have a cut with no stitch on it, hopefully it won't get infected...... yikes
btw i don't think i'm allergic to hard alcohol! but am i going to drink? i don't think sho~
Can we agree that saying "goodbye" sucks dick?
Just a few seconds ago, William and I were laughing about the funny noises we heard from upstairs. I guess wild sex was what we suspected, but I don't know.
Anyway, back to where this post was supposed to be about. Right now I'm laying in the bed of "Wynn Hotel" in Danang, approximately 3 hours away from Hue. Amber, William and I left Hue yesterday at around 1pm to aboard the baddest bus of the entire world "Sleeping bus" to come to danang and meet up with Troy. Shiet, within 5 minutes of getting off our bus bad luck just kept creeping up on us. First is that we couldn't contact Troy, second is that the hotel was trying to over charge us, third is that the whole district didn't have electricity because of some saving energy program in Vietnam, and fourth, last but not least, stupid christina left her iphone on the bus. Now there, don't panic readers, i promise you this will have a happy ending.
Within 2 hours we got hold of troy and met him at the hotel, and in the mean time the hotel lowered their price cause we were about to leave. After 2 hours of sitting around in the lobby bathing in our own sweat the electricity finally came back. and within 5 minutes we found out i left my phone on the bus, the invincible William managed to call the bus driver, the company, and all their relatives to get hold of my phone. Right now, my beautiful blue iphone 4 with a picture of armando on the back along with my house keys, KIWIN'S anchor and my name tag is napping safely next to me. See, happy story.
As happy as it sounds right now, i am terribly home sick of Hue. God, the last few days of the program sucked. Excuse me, i don't mean suck as in it was horrible, i meant it was so painful for my inside; Where all the undiscovered feelings were forced to be released. I vividly remember at the start of last week, i began bickering about not wanting to leave hue, begging my students to take me in as a refugee. (didn't know what i said refugee, but refugee it is) they told me that i should just become an English teacher and live in a hostel, little do they know i can barely speak proper english haha.
Last Friday was the last talent show of the year, in my morning class "C2" we have about 15 kids on a good day. I wasn't able to attend class on wednesday due to my surgery so on thursday we were all panicking about the talent show (well mostly me), the kids wanted to do a choreographed dance to "troublemaker" by olly murs, but shiet i can barely walk without tripping over nothing. So being the "teacher" we made an executive decision of dancing to "Kiss You" by one direction, along with a skit of a news report, because just a few days ago when we were learning about TV the boys in our class managed to make an incredible skit within 15 minutes of discussion. (slow applause for being a great teacher jk)
(This is my favorite part) Everyone that's friends with me knows that dancing is clearly not my forte, so i really relied on the brains of all our students and Mere to get through this talent show thing. Our students were so cooperative and creative we managed to finish our dance and skit before class ended. I fell deeply in love with this program when one of my students from the afternoon class came to visit me to do this air kungfu thing for my foot and whilst he was working his kungfu magic on my leg, our morning class just kept practicing "Kiss You". Immediately as he finished his kungfu magic, i got up and recorded them. God, I love them.
Then Friday came, all the performances were amazing. One of my favorites were A1, where babies were dancing to hakuna matata, twinkle twinkle little stars and baby by justin bieber. BUT SERIOUSLY, ETA4 C2 DIRECTION KICKED ASS. WE WERE FUCKING AMAZING.
okay, stop asking. i'll give you our set list.
Duc our news reporter introduced himself and got everyone rallied up for our performance
Told the crowd about mini olympics and the winners were "Hai cats"
Fashion show by the girls, with gangnam style
master chef "Mr. Flavor" invention by Mere, featuring yours truly as the model
ETA4 Documentary by Tai, featuring Amber and Joey. "Amber, can you tell us your name?" haha
The Voice. "This is the VOICCCEEE, KIDS VERSION" featuring ETA4 C2 DIRECTIONS "Kiss You"
Just recapping what happened a few days ago makes me so happy. After our performance, Dan asked if we should all go back to our room and talked about our feelings. haha never in a million years i thought i would hear that sentence and agreed to it, but we did. I felt so horrible that i had to leave, we had so much fun but it's time for us to move on. Some of the girls began crying, but i was too high on adrenaline i couldn't really release my tears. In the inside i was being teared apart. Later on that night one of my kids messaged me this:
Trà My i didnt come to class last night so it was so sad that i coudnt meet you. but i have a lot of things to say...
Trà My this is the best summer ever.i've found who i am when i'm with you,with C2 and with ETA4.C2 is my family and you are my sister,my friend too.thanks for your coming and being apart of my life. You made my time sence,funnier.
Trà My
it's really hard to say goodbye because we are so close for 5 weeks.we played,sang,had a good time.ETA4 is my aim of studying.every year i tell myself that "only 11 months i have to study well at school this year to spend summer time with ETA4"
Trà My
now i have to do it again..counting every day!!!but i hope you dont cry(because it will make me cry too )and do well at college.i wish time flew fast so that we can finish school and back to ETA4 again. I love you soooooooooooo much
I miss them. I can't even continue writing anymore.
sigh.
Puppy love
Caution: bloody-ish
Cheers to new experiences.
Out of all the amazing things that have happened to me in Vietnam, I have yet to mention the several unlucky incidents that have happened too. Mainly cause I believe that those unlucky things could've been way worst, so in a way I was unluckily lucky.
About ten days ago (actually exactly ten days ago), some of the ETA4 teachers decided to go visit Da Nang, a place south (?) of Hue by motorbike. It's approximately a three hour bike ride and we were all very excited about the trip, well I was very excited. Just before we got on "The Pass" (very well known yet difficult road to Da Nang) we stopped by for some pictures, as we were leaving (I was driving) another bike from the opposite direction was speeding through the pass. Barely crossing the road, the bike ran into the side of ours in full speed(me and brittany) jamming my left leg into the bike. I was so shocked I didn't react to the incident until a few seconds later, whilst the bike drove away like nothing happened. I personally believe because it seemed like we weren't harmed at all so there's no point in stopping, but in reality I'm just a slow reactor... to anything.... ha ha ha
So that's the preface of the story I'm going to continue today. Ten days later, the scars had healed. BUT there's a huge ass bump on the side of my leg irritating every movement I make. I thought it was nothing since I was brought up in a household that didn't rely on doctors and medicine; "The best cure is sleep and water" as my mother would say. After consulting my fellow teachers, they advised me to seek help from a professional doctor.
With the emotional and physical support from William we went to the doctors today and was told that the bump was caused by clogged blood. Blood that wasn't able to be released because my skin healed too fucking fast (like a mother fucking wolverine!!!! just kidding), resulting in the only solution. SURGERY. (side note, I've never had surgeries before so this was my first one) (I also don't think they've seen someone so excited to be operated on before) It took about 20 minutes and the whole time the doctor, incapable of speaking fluent english, kept apologizing for the pain I was having (hehe so considerate). The clogged blood seemed like solidified period blood (yah girls know what i'm talking about) in a big pimple form.
So there's my new experience, stitch and surgery in Vietnam. Ah, I love this place.
The One and Only Pearl <3
burger burger pouch pouch.
one thing i don't miss about the states, burgers. ew
