The Zen Project

[thezenproject]

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[thezenproject]

I just have to get through this moment of doubt. A large part of Buddhism is how everything - the good, the bad, the ugly - are all transient. Just know that life is full of ups and downs. 

It's hard. Right now I feel down. I know it will pick back up but I can't help but wallow where I am.

[thezenproject]

Car Accident - not mine

Just saw a car flip a few times on the other side of 880 today. It seriously flew in the air and then rolled a twice on the ground. If it weren't for the center divide, it may have rolled onto the car in front of me or me.

Life is short. Stay safe.

[thezenproject]

Accidental vegetarian

I unintentionally ate vegetarian today (but I still are sweets.)

Had Odwalla superfood for breakfast. A vegetarian barley, cucumber, mushroom soup with oyster crackers for lunch. Hershey's kisses and licorice for snack. Sundried tomato bagel with cream cheese for second snack. Vegetarian food at the Zen center (rice, vermicelli, Chinese cucumbers, truffles, pea sprouts, rice cakes, mango pudding.)

It was pretty good. My energy levels feel good. Don't think I can do this every day, but vegetarian once in awhile seems doable.

[thezenproject]

What's relevant is doing the right thing when nobody is looking.

Major General James "Spider" marks on CNN Live.

[thezenproject]

Me doing the crow at Valle de los Caidos in Madrid/Guadarrama, Spain.

December 28, 2011

[thezenproject]

I’m engaged!! The theme is going to be Zen. Rest to be determined…

December 12, 2011

[thezenproject]

My life has been rattled to the core...

... for reasons I don't feel like discussing.

I need yoga and meditation now more than ever. I feel so lost.

[thezenproject]

Neglected blog, sorry...

Zen check-in. I pretty much took most of November off because I developed a fantastic case of bronchitis. Nonetheless, I had to drag myself to Yoga Teacher Training and feel sick and miserable through most of it. Being sick and weak, and doing yoga is not a good thing. I think because of my illness, I didn't fully do the pose. Weak postures have led me to develop wrist pain - something that I never had even while doing yoga for 30 days straight.

Anyway, Zen class... I finally went yesterday and I wasn't fully there. My mind was distracted.

The one thing I have to say, though, is that I am, overall, a more calmer person. I had to reflect a bit. Calm. A little less impulse... Just a little...

[thezenproject]

First "Power Yoga" Class Taught!!

Taught my first yoga class on Saturday. It was supposed to be a vinyasa class, but the director of the studio said that it was a power class. I still can't tell the difference.

The apex pose of my class was Kurmasana (see above...and no that is not me, but I can do it too.) Lots of hamstring openers, diagonal flexion and shoulder openers. Threw in an arm balance that might seem hard (8-angle balance or 8 crooked limbs) but really isn't so bad once it's broken down. Tossed in birds of paradise.

Exhilarating. I wasn't planning on teaching much because I figured I would be a sucky teacher, but my feedback was very positive. I'm going to pat myself on the back because on student (who is already a teacher elsewhere) told me that he would pay for me class. Plus, I got someone into the arm balance even though he's struggled with it in the past.

We'll see. :)

[laughingsquid]

[thezenproject]

laughingsquid:

All You Need

[aplacetolovedogs-deactivated201]

[thezenproject]

aplacetolovedogs:

Nathan Mondrowitz, Staff Writer

Lesson Five • Live Life Fully

Play hard. Work hard. Relax. Get excited. Eat. Sleep. When you do it. Do it!

Lesson Four • Wag From The Heart

There’s no pretence in the wag of a dog’s tail. They don’t care about who you think you are, or who you say...

[thezenproject]

Baby steps...

The apex pose for the yoga class that I will be teaching Saturday is Kurmasana - the tortoise pose. (Google it yourself. I am too lazy to post photos.)

I think I relate well to the tortoise because I am making slow progress in many aspects of my life - and that's okay! It's a bit like dieting - you can't expect to lose 100 pounds in 1 month by staring yourself. Instead, you have to make small adjustments to your life.

Temper-wise... Well I think I've regressed lately because I have been under duress. Does the turtle walk backwards? Eh. Getting off topic here. ADD here. (Not the hyperactive type, the inattentive type. That's me. Surprise surprise.)

Must pull myself out of the rut. Slowly...

[thezenproject]

Music for Yoga

I've always been on the fence about how I feel about music during yoga. Sometimes it can be distracting when I'm trying to get into my ujjayi breath. Lately, though, a lot of my teachers have been playing music and now class seems dull without it (except for this one teacher who is so amazing that she doesn't need music to make her class better.)

The thing about me is that I am way more productive when I listen to music (e.g. now.) In a way, it makes me more meditative. I believe it's because there are so many other distracting noises. In my office, there are a few people who talk atrociously loud on the phone, the constant banter in the hallways, etc. etc. Music is my zen.

In yoga training we have to select our music playlist to cater to the mood.

My mish-mash of music would not flow well in a class so I've been trying to pick a theme. Pop music? Alt rock? Middle Eastern?

Lately I've been listening to a lot of tango and I blame Fernando (my boyfriend... not the guy mentioned in the Lady Gaga song.)

For those of you who are unaware, the tango originates in Argentina (where Fernando is from.)

I guess tango is better than his original suggestion of cumbia music from Argentina which has some terrible songs with titles/lyrics that are so crude that it makes anything by Snoop Dogg seem biblical in comparison.

[thezenproject]

Fear

My biggest fear has always been that I will be underprepared. I am nervous when I don't have all of my ducks in a row (a perfectly OCD-straight line row.)

I am afraid that I will look like a fool or outed as a fraud.

I need more confidence.

Funny because I wasn't always like this. Not sure when this happened. Need to backtrack and find out what went wrong and how to fix it.

I play the safe ground too often.

[thezenproject]

Zen class with a twist of migraine

Showed up to zen class after having a migraine for the previous 24+ hours. Migraines make me too hyperaware, especially when I'm not physically active. Spent the mantra-recitation period being thrown off by the woman behind me who was reading too fast and confusing herself (and me.)

Spent the walking meditation period trying not to throw up because the light was too bright.

Decided to go home.

Probably the worst meditation of my life. Felt like my brain was melting into the center of my head. Will try again next week. At least I tried.

[thezenproject]

Anger management check-in

So the original intent of this blog was to write about my journey into fixing my God-awful temper. (It's really quite bad. So bad that I won't tell you some of my consequences suffice to say that I've probably done more than my fair share of bad things that generated enough bad karma to last me 100 years. Phew. What a run-on sentence.)

So how have I been doing these past few weeks?

Well, I can honestly say that I think I have been improving. I still mess up and have these flares of anger, but they're better than they used to be.

For example, yesterday, this large truck decided to make a super awkward u-turn from a parked spot. I was zipping along at 45 mph and nearly crashed into him. (He did this suddenly... My reaction isn't slow.) My dad said I should have honked at him (which means a lot, my dad doesn't normally get perturbed) and I just shrugged and said that there's nothing I can do about it and nothing bad happened... and life just continued from there.

I did, however, rip off Fernando's head later that day... But that's because one of my triggers was tripped.

So the first step to zen is finding out what bothers you. Identifying your triggers makes you aware of what sets you off. From there you can become more conscious of your reactions when it comes to that point.

My triggers:

1. Wasting money. I try not to buy things I don't need and I don't give in to impulse buys.

2. Clutter. We have tons of this in our house (because we just moved in and still have crap lying around.) We also have tons of crap we don't use anymore and that I would like to get rid of. Alas, Fernando likes to have tons of crap around and purchased more furniture than we can hold. I feel so claustrophobic. I hope he reads this blog and realizes that I don't want anymore stuff. STOP IT.

3. People who don't know when to stop arguing. My sister does this a lot. I've learned to literally walk away. Unfortunately, this isn't always possible (e.g. when I am sitting in a car.) Also, I've been walking away from her so much that I don't think we can hold a conversation anymore. Need to fix.

4. Being late. I am always punctual. Too punctual. If I'm not on time, I panic.

5. Boredom. I get antsy and tense from sitting around doing nothing. (Unless I'm tired. then I am fine with not doing anything.)