handsome nerd

I divorced the domesticated lifestyle because im too sexy for it

[fairycosmos]

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

[eccentricecologist]

Out of my way, bothersome footnote, I'm about to get it

[biologizeable]

Hi hello I just need everyone to look at this picture of a baby Tawny Frogmouth

[anomal0caris-deactivated2017120]

smug ass marshmallow

[elliespectacular]

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

[cranberry-branflakes]

me (in barely any pain): ITS CANCER IM DYING

me (in severe pain): pfftt nahhh im fine thats just the old friend we go way back

[gaylor-moon]

[henstomper]

dude it's just politics, it doesn't matter. all it does is shape every single aspect of the society you live in from the second you are born until forever

[noahnomore]

[clauonacloud-deactivated2022071]

[latinajedi]

[gay-jesus-probably]

YOU GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN THAT RIGHT NOW

[riluri]

well damn

[ospreyonthemoon]

[letslipthehounds]

Every time, I know what's coming, but every time, I just lose it at "Uh. That"

[kyraneko]

I already lost it at "that time we ate our prime minister" and "Uh. That" didn't really help.

[nflstreet]

Return of the king

[nflstreet]

[cryptotheism]

yeah dude I ran my fingers along the sword of the spin- I mean the hilt of the sword- yeah. Yeah the one that's hanging above the fireplace. Its a cavalry saber its not a backsaber or a polearm --man a polearm would have been so badass-- Yeah I ran my finger along the spine of the sword and I was like "do you remember the Avignon papacy? Yeah. You really ought to do what we say."

Woah. Thats badass dude. How did- hey I don't have many fries left don't eat those. Yeah dude they're sweet potato fries you know I love sweet potato fries. Yeah. How'd he react? Like, how'd the ambassador react.

He didn't say anything. He got all quiet and he was like yeah I know about the Avignon papacy.

Was he scared?

I- he just kinda stopped talking.

[tothechaos]

going into a bougie supermarket makes me feel like that one painting of the bolshevik standing in the russian palace

[tothechaos]

"$12.95 for 8.5oz of Jelly are You Fucking Kidding Me"

[nippon-com]

Contemplating the space between the stones.

[oneheadtoanother]

[heavensickness]

[snapscube]

you gotta have freaks and gross weirdos in your life it’s imperative to understanding the truth of humanity

[greenoniongang]

[vergak]

Goddamn. Okay

[theweatherchannel]

[bloodflwrzart]

Pyro meets Glorp